I didn't get my first choice - it gets better.

[AlwaysSAI]

I've been hemming and hawing over posting in this thread for a few days now. I finally decided to just do it.

Most long time GCers know my story (or I would assume they do). If you don't know it--do a search for all the threads I've started and you'll know which one to pick.

Needless to say, I didn't get into my first choice sorority. But, I did get into SAI. SAI was not an organization I considered until the spring of my sophomore year and I considered her only because I was (or thought I was) simply out of options for greek life. I accepted my bid because being a part of any sorority, to me, was better than being a part of none. My first year as an SAI was difficult. I didn't feel accepted or loved by my sisters. Once pledging was over, it seemed like no one cared about little old me. I ran for office and was elected. It was my time as an officer (I ended up serving in three positions for two years), is what really cemented my love for SAI. I took a little who I bonded with tremendously and she helped me see that I can't just wait for relationships to start--they must be nurtured. As I worked for SAI with SAIs, I formed friendships with my sisters that enhanced my collegiate experience as a member.

Now, as an alumnae member continuing to work with other SAIs, I have found women that I can rely on consistently. The SAIs from my alumnae group have become my closest friends. I can call any of them for lunch or just to chat. And, I, in fact, did both to two different sisters just last week.

Did I jump for joy when I received my SAI bid? YES.
Did I know then, how much it's sisterhood would come to mean to me? NO.
Did I know that my chapter would go on to call me the most gung-ho SAI they'd ever had? NO.
Did I have any idea that I would go on to [almost] charter an alumnae chapter and serve on a National Committee? NO.


And, as far as Alpha Gam is concerned (and I hate to be cliche)--it's not something I became, it's something I've always been.

[AGDLynn]

Hugs and kisses, sis!

[*winter*]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

I've been hemming and hawing over posting in this thread for a few days now. I finally decided to just do it.

Most long time GCers know my story (or I would assume they do). If you don't know it--do a search for all the threads I've started and you'll know which one to pick.

Needless to say, I didn't get into my first choice sorority. But, I did get into SAI. SAI was not an organization I considered until the spring of my sophomore year and I considered her only because I was (or thought I was) simply out of options for greek life. I accepted my bid because being a part of any sorority, to me, was better than being a part of none. My first year as an SAI was difficult. I didn't feel accepted or loved by my sisters. Once pledging was over, it seemed like no one cared about little old me. I ran for office and was elected. It was my time as an officer (I ended up serving in three positions for two years), is what really cemented my love for SAI. I took a little who I bonded with tremendously and she helped me see that I can't just wait for relationships to start--they must be nurtured. As I worked for SAI with SAIs, I formed friendships with my sisters that enhanced my collegiate experience as a member.

Now, as an alumnae member continuing to work with other SAIs, I have found women that I can rely on consistently. The SAIs from my alumnae group have become my closest friends. I can call any of them for lunch or just to chat. And, I, in fact, did both to two different sisters just last week.

Did I jump for joy when I received my SAI bid? YES.
Did I know then, how much it's sisterhood would come to mean to me? NO.
Did I have any idea that I would go on to [almost] charter an alumnae chapter and serve on a National Committee? NO.
Did I know that my chapter would go on to call me the most gung-ho SAI they'd ever had? NO.

And, as far as Alpha Gam is concerned (and I hate to be cliche)--it's not something I became, it's something I've always been.

Great post! I feel the same way about Gamma Sigma Sigma. My short story: I never went through any recruitement, I wanted to but I was so shy. So I figured I could at least see what GSS was all about, since that wasn't as intense as recruitement! And it was...an interesting ride.

Did I immediately feel a connection? No. Some of the people were cool, I had stuff in common with some of the sisters. A large group were all Education majors and/or pledged in the same PC (pledge class)...so they were amazingly close and had all these shared experiences. I was kind of scared off, because...well, what if I didn't find "my" group? Everyone else seemed to have found theirs already. And our PC was only 4! Tiny.

Two of the girls in the PC, I don't know what happened to them, I enjoyed the stuff we did together as pledges, but are they lifelong friends? No. The other girl- she is awesome! We talk all the time online (she is in another state) and we've been this way for 10+ years! Annndddd...one of the "established groups" happened to be a bunch of girls who were slightly older (like me) and I fit in great with them! We were kinda over the college party stuff, so we would go to clubs and bars in the city and dance and have fun. My Big is so much like me- even to this day, when I post a weird or overly political FB status, she is always agreeing with me!

Point is, this big group of women (45?) looked like something I'd never find my place in, in the beginning. But within that group (and keep in mind most NPC sororities are MUCH larger!) I found "my" people- girls I had so much in common with, girls who were there for me then, and still are. The likelihood that a PNM will find her niche in a group that CHOSE her based off of their own unique Membership Selection criteria, is just that much higher.

So...hang in there. NOTHING seems like a perfect fit in the beginning. Remember that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you were dropped off at college and your parents pulled away? I do! I remember thinking "OMG I will nevvvvvvver feel at home here." But in a few weeks, that all changed. Same deal on new jobs, new neighborhoods, etc.

[ADPi Conniebama]

Ok my story is actually a pre story. . . My brother (KA)- told me before rush "it dosent matter if u GET into THE BEST sorority. . .as long as u graduate from THE BEST" well I didnt know about accepting a bid from the best. . . But I am an alum of the best

Not being competative, I assume most of us say we are in the best. . . So if the chapter is big youll find ur group in the chapter. . And if its small you can make a huge difference.

(forgive me I was posting from my phone)

[SWTXBelle]

BEST is subjective - what is best for you might not be best for me. But EVERY sorority can help YOU be your BEST. You can give your best to a chapter, and I'll bet dollars to donuts your chapter ends up being truly the BEST sorority for you.

[FSUZeta]

a young friend of mine had a less than stellar recruitment(her opinion) at a very competitive school, but she did receive a bid and accepted it. when i heard from her mother, she said that daughter was going to give it a try, but was not sure that daughter would stay with it. i invited her mom and her to come over to greekchat and read this thread. i hope they did.

thank you all for posting your own experiences. i know if my young friend reads them, it will give her the boost she needs.

[summer_gphib]

I ♥ this thread so much. I was lucky and got my first choice, but I never went through formal rush. I went through colony rush, for Gamma Phi and wasn't chosen. But in the spring they held a huge COB event, and was one of the few chosen to become a sister. I love reading these stories, because I've always wondered what would have happened if I'd gone through formal! Thank you all for sharing some much needed perspective to the world of recruitment. And you are so right in saying that every one of the sororities have an amazing history and network of women. To belong to any of them should be a privilege.

Gamma Sig came into my life much later, and was such a blessing. Again, I feel privileged to be part of an amazing organization, that has done nothing but enhance my life and bless me with life long friendships.

[Just interested]

Amen!!!

[TPAwhiterose]

I've been lurking for a long time and finally decided to join/post, and I knew I would have to chime in on this one! I had gone into recruitment with what I now know is a terrible mindset....me and my roommate (and best friend) were interested in one chapter and one chapter only. They cut us both right before prefs and I was devastated.

My roommate decided to drop out of recruitment entirely, and that was what I was planning to do, despite the fact that I had been invited to 3 other chapters for pref. My mom convinced me to go to the pref parties anyway. I suicided Theta Phi but still wasn't even sure if I wanted to pledge.

I am so, so, so, so thankful that I listened to my mom and went to prefs!! Now I can't imagine NOT being a Theta Phi. If I could go through recruitment again and pick any sorority, I would still pick TPA. I really fell in love with my chapter and my organization during my pledge period. I know thats not what you want to hear when you get cut from the chapter you fell in love with, or received a bid to your second choice, but trust me, STICK IT OUT. You will definitely be glad you did.

[greekdee]

One of my rec girls got her second choice last year. She went through recruitment at Ole Miss, and I don't think it can get anymore competitive. Even so, everyone (even those who know and are very realistic about ultra-competitive schools) expected this girl to get her first choice. Why? Because she always has. She's one of "those girls" that everything always works out for. I don't believe she had ever experienced any significant disappointments until Ole Miss Bid Day 2011.

And disappointed she was. She even considered declining the bid. But then -- she decided to trust the process. She went to her Bid Day party...and never looked back. She was one the happiest pledges I've ever known, and is now one of the happiest actives. She can't imagine being anywhere else and is so glad that things turned out like they did.

Often times, you discover that second choice was number one all along.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

a young friend of mine had a less than stellar recruitment(her opinion) at a very competitive school, but she did receive a bid and accepted it. when i heard from her mother, she said that daughter was going to give it a try, but was not sure that daughter would stay with it. i invited her mom and her to come over to greekchat and read this thread. i hope they did.

thank you all for posting your own experiences. i know if my young friend reads them, it will give her the boost she needs.

I wanted to update on my young friend, another young woman who excelled at everything she attempted until she went thru recruitment. She went over to her sorority house a couple of times following receiving her bid during formal recruitment before she decided to drop. Her sorority was gracious about it and told her that they would hold her bid for her, should she change her mind. Friend got involved in several campus activities, but she felt that something was missing and in the spring she returned to the sorority with an entirely different attitude. They welcomed her with open arms and she appreciated the sisterhood they were offering her for a 2nd time. She was initiated in the spring,and is so glad that she had a 2nd chance.

PNMs, not everyone will be so lucky as my friend. If you are unsure, give it more than a week before you make your decision. Things turned out alright for my friend, but once someone turns down a bid, they might be kissing their only chance at sorority membership goodbye.

[kaylaxlove]

As a Recruitment Counselor chair, I LOVE THIS THREAD! I've counseled so many women encouraging them to give their second chance a try. I was lucky enough to get a bid from my top choice, but I know MANY women who didn't and who are perfect in their organizations.

TRUST THE PROCESS! It works. It really does.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I ultimately got my first choice on my bid card, but I struggled a lot during recruitment and had a lot of hard cuts (my story is around here somewhere). I loved my chapter, but we struggled, and it was tough to go through the heartbreak of not making quota every year.

Last fall, my collegiate chapter closed. This was more than eight years after I graduated, but we'd struggled with numbers since before I was even there. I was sad, and it brought up a lot of sad feelings about being in the chapter that, ultimately, nobody else wanted to be in. And I'm totally embarrassed to admit, more than twelve years after I ranked my final pref houses, I actually felt some regret and thought to myself that maybe I should have made a different choice.

But then I also thought about the fact that, in my chapter, I was essentially a "big fish". When I say we struggled with numbers, we were still over a hundred women, and I held virtually every office I wanted to hold, had a lot of friends, and when I spoke at chapter meetings, people listened to me. So, while I had to get over the ego blow of being in a less-popular chapter, I got to be a leader in that chapter.

I'm not a charismatic person. I'm definitely an introvert, and I build relationships one at a time, not by being the center of attention in a big group. I really think that I would have gotten lost in the crowd in a chapter full of really outgoing women. It was easy to think, as I was going through rush, that if I was in a chapter with all these really cool girls, I'd be a really cool girl too. But with the wisdom of age (HA!), it's pretty clear that I would have just been the awkward introvert in a chapter full of cool girls.

[ladybug12]

Delta Beta Baby, I know that our GLO will recolonize your chapter when the time is right. I think with the rapid growth of Greek Life on many campuses, a recolonization has a much higher chance of success when the GLO has the opportunity to get that colony started off on a more level playing field.

I appreciate your words. And I look forward to the day when you can stand on the steps of your chapter's house on Homecoming or Founder's Day!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by ladybug12

Delta Beta Baby, I know that our GLO will recolonize your chapter when the time is right. I think with the rapid growth of Greek Life on many campuses, a recolonization has a much higher chance of success when the GLO has the opportunity to get that colony started off on a more level playing field.

I appreciate your words. And I look forward to the day when you can stand on the steps of your chapter's house on Homecoming or Founder's Day!

Thanks!

Really, though, some of my best friends are from my collegiate chapter, and that's what matters more than anything else. Sure, it's sad not to be able to go visit ye olde chapter house, but that's not the thing that really affects my daily life.