I'm sorry to hear you're in this position. As your sister, she should be a understanding person and support you. So, I think you need to meet with her personally and explain to her that these decisions, meetings and other matters she is taking into her own hands is not helping the Chapter. Remind her as well that it is affecting you emotionally (or atleast it sounds like it is) and give her the solid truth. With that communication bridged into the situation, it will give a chance for her to think about it as well. Tell her that you appreciate and want her support still but lighter than she is applying now. This way, you can mandate the issues you want to change and make sure you are fulfilling the things you wanted to do in the first place.
Your sisters chose YOU to do this job and they trust you, I know they'll support you too. So in the next meeting you have, maybe it would be a good idea to bring up the situation to your sisters and ask for their support in this hard time for you. Explain to them your decision on what you want to do about this nationals rep coming in and making all the decisions for a Chapter that is in at the moment. Work up discussion and see how they feel as well.
It sounds to me that she is just a very controlling person and because she has her own vision for the chapter she wants to make sure things get done her way. (I HATE these types of people, they initially make bad leaders) Although she is your sister, she is NOT apart of your chapter at this time and you need to establish the fine line for her involvement that you seek in order to get your job done.
Don't give up on this, you're going to do fine and I guarantee your sisters, fellow EC and even that nationals rep will support you in the end. These actions will determine your sorority's future so just know that this is you making a difference!
Best,
-C
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