A Regal Recruitment (from a Mom's Perspective)

[Mouse Mom]

COB

Classes started and Minnie settled into a routine. She reached out to first year sorority girls in her leadership group. She went to lunch with the upperclass mentor for her group, a Tiana who provided a great deal of encouragement. She kept in touch with Tinkerbell who shared the list of houses participating in COB. With such an unusual formal recruitment, there were many houses participating. Minnie discovered that Tinkerbell was a Jasmine and she worried that Tinkerbell would think she didn’t like the Jasmines or looked down on them. That wasn’t the case at all, she just knew that she wasn’t a good fit. She was grateful for all Tinkerbell’s assistance.

The list of chapters participating in COB included:


Ariel
Belle
Jasmine
Merida
Rapunzel
Sleeping Beauty
Snow White


Flora and Fauna also continued to provide moral support. Flora gave Minnie advice on how COB works and how she could best present herself if a chapter showed interest. Fauna stayed in touch and offered advice based on what she knew about COB. Daisy had ended up in her top house and Fauna didn’t want Minnie to be left out, even though she had never met Minnie or me in person.

Sometimes when Minnie called or texted me, she said it was difficult to see girls on campus wearing letters, and she felt both disappointed and hopeful every time she saw a social media post by a sorority announcing its newest members who had joined by COB. It appeared that most chapters were only offering bids to one or two girls.

A week or two went by. Minnie adjusted to the idea that she would probably be going through recruitment again the following year. She would focus on her grades and activities (to the extent that activities were being offered), and making connections on campus.

Then one morning, as she soon as she had found a socially distanced seat in her statistics class, she received a text. “Hi Minnie! My name is ‘Kate’ and I’m the president of ***. We noticed you’re going through COB and were hoping you’d like to meet with us for coffee today.”

Minnie was shocked and excited but also confused. The chapter “Kate” mentioned wasn’t included on the list of sororities participating in COB. But it had been on her original list of “Definitely interested in.” She had heard rumors that if a house released you in the first round, they wouldn't offer you a bid through COB. She wasn’t quite sure what to think but she jumped at the opportunity.

As soon as she got out of class, she texted Kate back. They scheduled a time to meet later in the afternoon. After sharing the news with me, Minnie connected with Flora for some last-minute advice. Kate and another active picked Minnie up at her dorm. Flora, Fauna, and I waited on pins and needles as two hours went by.

Finally, a call came from Minnie. She had had a wonderful time! She thought she really connected with both actives. They were genuine and so easy to talk to. She didn’t want to get her hopes up after her disappointment with the Elsas though.

Not knowing much about COB, I peppered Flora with questions.

How long until Minnie heard one way or another?

What about the rumor that a PNM released by a house on the first round wasn’t likely to get a bid from them during COB?

If she doesn’t get a bid from this house, is there still time to get one from another?

Flora cautioned it might be a while until Minnie heard back. But luckily, we didn’t have to wait long. Less than 30 minutes later, I got a call from an ecstatic Minnie. She had been offered a bid and she had accepted!!! The president and a few actives were on their way to her dorm with her bid and a basket full of gifts.







Minnie was about to become most excited new member of…………….







CINDERELLA!





Because not only did the slipper fit…





so did the crown!!












Minnie had accepted a bid to
ZETA TAU ALPHA!




Though it started off shakily and was not what we had ever expected, Minnie had a wonderful first year of college, taking on a leadership role in ZTA, and finishing with a 4.0. She’s made so many friends and is so happy she listened to her gut in dropping out of recruitment and staying at Fairytale. I have no doubt that Minnie will be a loyal Zeta throughout her life.



I can’t finish this story without an update about Daisy.


Daisy received a bid to her top house, the chapter she had loved since the first day of recruitment… Cinderella. Daisy and Minnie were initiated on Minnie's eighteenth birthday and are now sisters, together with with Fauna and Minnie’s godmother.


When I was writing this, I came across a quote from “Cinderella” that summarizes Minnie’s experiences, not just in joining a sorority but in other aspects of her life:

“I have to tell you a secret that will see you through all the trials that life can offer. Have courage and be kind. When there is kindness, there is goodness. When there is goodness, there is magic.”




Mouse Mom Musings

I hope that by sharing Minnie’s story, a nervous/disappointed/sad PNM or parent will take heart. I never would have imagined that this is how Minnie’s experience would unfold. Flora told me it was the craziest and most unexpected recruitment she’d personally been involved with. Over time, Minnie learned some things that led her to believe her legacy likely was a factor with her release from at least one house. But she’s so happy where she is, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Though there are many things that happened in recruitment (some that I didn’t include here), what stands out most is the support we received from Flora and Fauna, two women we had never met in person or even known before last summer. This story doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface in relating how thoughtful and supportive they were (and still are). They truly exemplify the values of their sororities and the Panhellenic Council as a whole.

My reservations about Minnie becoming an Elsa have been somewhat validated. Minnie’s unsympathetic Gamma Chi turned out to be an Elsa. The Elsa active relative never once reached out to Minnie to check in or ask how she was—despite knowing Minnie had dropped out of recruitment and was alone on a big campus. Minnie says now she can never imagine herself as an Elsa.

In a family wrapped in such a history with the Elsas (and a few Annas), I am so proud that Minnie is writing her own chapter. In my opening post, I shared my own Fairytale University recruitment dilemma. I had been torn between my legacy house and another one who I loved just as much. In the end, my legacy connection to the Elsas tipped the scales.

The other house I felt so connected to? The Cinderellas.

[andthen]

Thanks so much for sharing this story and so glad your daughter had a happy ending!! You have much to be proud of, and I commend your daughter in having so much class and grace and the ability to be resilient in the face of some unexpected challenges.

[Cookiez17]

Congrats to her! She went through this process with a really good head on her shoulders and I'm happy she found her home!

[thetalady]

What a wonderful ending/ beginning to Minnie's sorority journey! I really enjoyed it. I am SO disappointed with the Elsas though... every one of them.

[honeychile]

Congratulations to Minnie, Daisy, AND Zeta Tau Alpha!

May they always feel the love of sisterhood together!

[Mouse Mom]

Originally Posted by thetalady

What a wonderful ending/ beginning to Minnie's sorority journey! I really enjoyed it. I am SO disappointed with the Elsas though... every one of them.

Thank you. I was incredibly disappointed as well. I've always paid my dues and faithfully donated every year, as had my mother. After this happened, we both requested to be removed from all communications. Not because we expected Minnie to be automatically granted a bid but because of how they (especially the relative) acted.

I can't help but wonder how my beloved grandmother (who with her four sisters were all Fairytale Elsas in the 1930s/1940s and who served the Elsas in a prom position) would have reacted had she known how Minnie was treated, especially with a relative in the house. I do know how immensely proud she would be of Minnie's response and the fact that she has found her home in Zeta.

[carnation]

Seems like being a legacy counts for less and less. I know a girl who was released by her legacy house and she had 2 sitting sisters there. (They quit.)

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by Mouse Mom

Thank you. I was incredibly disappointed as well. I've always paid my dues and faithfully donated every year, as had my mother. After this happened, we both requested to be removed from all communications. Not because we expected Minnie to be automatically granted a bid but because of how they (especially the relative) acted.

I can't help but wonder how my beloved grandmother (who with her four sisters were all Fairytale Elsas in the 1930s/1940s and who served the Elsas in a prom position) would have reacted had she known how Minnie was treated, especially with a relative in the house. I do know how immensely proud she would be of Minnie's response and the fact that she has found her home in Zeta.

As a legacy myself, this is heartbreaking to me. I hope the Elsas realize that they made a huge mistake!

I am also very proud of Minnie's reaction, and that she found her home in Zeta!

[Sister Havana]

I loved this story and am so glad it had a happy ending for Minnie and Daisy!

[FSUZeta]

I am happy to have Minnie and Daisy as sisters! And so proud of Minnie for persevering.

[gaangel5]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

I am happy to have Minnie and Daisy as sisters! And so proud of Minnie for persevering.

I totally agree with FSUZeta! Proud Minnie and Daisy are my sisters. So happy that they found a home in ZTA!!!

[smitch6492]

Wow, thank you so much for your post and wonderful read. I am a member of a very prominent fraternity and the process was very different, at least at my alma mater Boston University. However, it was so very interesting to learn from your perspective.


So glad both of you realized your dreams do come true when you wish upon a star.

[*winter*]

Thanks for updating! For a moment yesterday I thought...what if the story didn’t have a happy ending? So glad to hear things worked out for her.

[PGD-GRAD]

Mouse Mom, CONGRATS to your daughter for always looking for the positives and finding her home, and CONGRATS to you for raising such a bright, mature, focused young lady.

This should be required reading for EVERY PNM!

[TXDG]

This was one of my favorite rush stories of all time! So happy your daughter found her home in ZTA - and what a twist of fate that it was the same chapter that had pulled in your heartstrings during your own rush.