Alumni/Alumnae who don't know their place

[lilykkg]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

The OP said Jane was the "outgoing President" -- I took this to mean she was the predecessor to the current CP and couldn't resist stepping in to "fix things". Is this the same Jane you're talking about?

I saw it this way too. Not necessarily Jane = CP advisor, but it could have been the case.

Originally Posted by Gusteau

LOL - sockpuppet fail?

Couldn't find my log-in information earlier Finally found my old password.

[tld221]

i had such a good response and i lost it!

in short: im lane-swerving, but transitioning to alumnae life is hard (regardless of council). the 2 year distance is necessary but its likely that the alumna, if she still lives in the area (or goes to graduate school at the same school) will want to participate - parties, events, rush/recruitment/intake.

You dont want to drive Jane away - its so common for hurt feelings to turn into bitter resentment towards the chapter and organization, so that she is no longer willing to be involved as an alum.

Create a transition plan for both "Jane" and the new President. Be clear in ways Jane can participate and give advice on and where she cannot. Tell her to hold her comments to the end or get them out at the beginning. See to it that the transition plan gets Jane out of the chapter's hair (business-wise, anyway) by the end of the year (or semester, if youre ambitious).

I'm giving an ideal suggestion, not saying it will work. but im echoing a lot of what has already been said.

[adpiucf]

Alumnae have no business being at a chapter meeting, unless they are making an approved announcement or serving as an advisor. Grow up and join an alumnae association. Your chapter should amend its bylaws immediately and end this nonsense. I'm guessing these alumnae who come to chapter meetings also show up to socials?

[WhiteDaisy128]

Is this an NPC chapter? If so, can a chapter really just "elect" you to be an adviser? I know in DG, you have to volunteer to be an adviser and a regional coordinator will contact you and then pass your information on to the Alumnae Team Coordination at the chapter you would work with.

I kinda agree with others that have said that alumnae should not be attending regular chapter meetings unless there is ritual or some other reason for their visit...unless you are an appointed adviser and your expertise or guidance is needed.

Originally Posted by WhiteDaisy128

Is this an NPC chapter? If so, can a chapter really just "elect" you to be an adviser? I know in DG, you have to volunteer to be an adviser and a regional coordinator will contact you and then pass your information on to the Alumnae Team Coordination at the chapter you would work with.

I kinda agree with others that have said that alumnae should not be attending regular chapter meetings unless there is ritual or some other reason for their visit...unless you are an appointed adviser and your expertise or guidance is needed.

Not talking NPC- I'm a member of two organizations, and trying to keep it vague as I know several collegians from my chapter surf this site.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Alumnae have no business being at a chapter meeting, unless they are making an approved announcement or serving as an advisor. Grow up and join an alumnae association. Your chapter should amend its bylaws immediately and end this nonsense. I'm guessing these alumnae who come to chapter meetings also show up to socials?

You want a 21-22 year old to grow up in a 3 month summer after commencement? It's natural to expect that a recent alum will want to still be around. If you pledged as a first-semester freshman and XYZ has been a huge part of your last 4 years, it's really ridiculous to expect that person to just put all that on the shelf, just like that.

I don't get the double speak of "grow up, go alum" and "we as NPC should do a stronger job at getting our members to be active post-collegiate."

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Alumnae have no business being at a chapter meeting, unless they are making an approved announcement or serving as an advisor.

Not true for many sororities. Is it true for your own organization, or were you stating your opinion?

[WhiteDaisy128]

Originally Posted by stargazertechie

Not talking NPC- I'm a member of two organizations, and trying to keep it vague as I know several collegians from my chapter surf this site.

Got it. Carry on then. Good luck resolving this situation.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Alumnae have no business being at a chapter meeting, unless they are making an approved announcement or serving as an advisor. Grow up and join an alumnae association. Your chapter should amend its bylaws immediately and end this nonsense. I'm guessing these alumnae who come to chapter meetings also show up to socials?

I totally agree with ADPiUCF, if we are talking NPC. I have seen time and again brand new alumnae who do not understand their new role as alumnae. Those same women, who would have been highly insulted if new alumnae had interfered with their chapter meetings, are not able to distance themselves from the chapter and jump right in where they should not interfere. ZTA prefers that advisors be at least 4 years removed from their collegiate experience.

We older alums. try to channel the new alums. enthusiasm toward other things that will assist the chapter, while letting the collegiates run their own show.

[MaggieXi]

I'm still stuck on why alumni want to attend the chapter meetings. I am all for them wanting to continue to be involved with the sorority, but it shouldn't be at the meetings where business is being discussed that does not effect them and they should not have input in. If they are attending for "fellowship", may I suggest that they start their own alumni group - if they have not joined one already and hang out with each other and offer their support to the chapter during philanthropy, homecoming, recruitment and other activities.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by NotSoOldAlumna

Advice please on how to address this with her? Should I wait until I'm officially an advisor? Should I have a heart to heart with her before then, sister-to-sister?

This is a little bit of a lane swerve, but here are a few observations:

1) Is there some sort of adviser hierarchy? Is there someone who sort of oversees all of the other alumnae advisers? I'd go to her first with this issue.

2) After 1) and assuming they dealt with it, you ought to wait until it's official and you're an adviser. You want to be able to come from a position of legitimacy and not appear to simply be meddling in affairs which the recent alumna might think are none of your business.

3) Make sure you're the most appropriate person to deal with this. If not, bring it to the attention of whoever is the most appropriate.

4) Finally, I'm not sure how your meetings are run, but it might be appropriate (again, if you're the appropriate person to be advising these folks) to instruct your parliamentarian and President to enforce strict parliamentary procedure (if applicable) in that you don't get to speak unless you are recognized by the chair and that it is a privilege, not a right for an alumna to be recognized at a chapter meeting.

I sent a text to Jane earlier just mentioning a few of my concerns casually and she sent me back a rather long response because she realized after meeting that she had acted out of line. She apologized to the president, and told me that if she starts doing it again to just kick her under the table

Originally Posted by Kevin

This is a little bit of a lane swerve, but here are a few observations:

Is there some sort of adviser hierarchy? Is there someone who sort of oversees all of the other alumnae advisers? I'd go to her first with this issue. There isn't, unfortunately. Each oversees a certain "area" of the chapter (recruitment, philanthropy, etc) but there's no head honcho.

Finally, I'm not sure how your meetings are run, but it might be appropriate (again, if you're the appropriate person to be advising these folks) to instruct your parliamentarian and President to enforce strict parliamentary procedure (if applicable) in that you don't get to speak unless you are recognized by the chair and that it is a privilege, not a right for an alumna to be recognized at a chapter meeting. This has been an area where the chapter has struggled. The new parliamentarian is working really hard to get things run in an orderly fashion... for the past few years meetings have been semi-controlled chaos with a lot of side-chatter, interrupting, etc.

I think you hit the nail on the head re: parliamentary procedure. That will eliminate 80% of the issues with actives and alum

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by stargazertechie

I sent a text to Jane earlier just mentioning a few of my concerns casually and she sent me back a rather long response because she realized after meeting that she had acted out of line. She apologized to the president, and told me that if she starts doing it again to just kick her under the table

Good!