Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended

[AlphaFrog]

One of the wierdest ones I went to was my boss's daughter's Greek wedding. The Greeks all stood outside the church talking until at LEAST a half hour after the service was supposed to start. The bride (who was not Greek) finally sent the ushers outside to tell them that they were locking the church doors in 5 minutes. Then, most of the service was in Greek. And the bride and groom didn't really DO anything, and they didn't SAY anything. They just kind of stood there and watched their own wedding happen. It mostly centered around these two crowns with a ribbon tieing them together that kept being put on their heads, and then switched, and then held up, and then switched again. Finally, at the end, the bride & groom walked around the altar 3 times, and that was that. The reception was extravagant. They had a buffet 6 tables long, including a chocolate fountain...and THEN they had a sit-down dinner. The only red-neck thing that happened the whole night was the bride's family had pre-purchased all of the alcohol that the catering company served, and the groom's family just started grabbing bottles of it as they left. Full, unopened litres of Crown Royal and Grey Goose.

[carnation]

My sister-in-law briefly (thank God, only briefly) attended this weird little church before she got married. By the time of her marriage, the jerk minister had moved out of state but she insisted on having him come back and officiate at her wedding.

So when the minister started to walk out with the groomsmen, he stiffened his back and leaned back and started almost duckwalking! And my brother-in-law walked just like him to the altar! (My husband says there's a similar scene in the movie "Arthur".)

Then when the wedding party got up there, the minister said to my SIL, "In biblical days, married ladies were called "Hephzibah'. Can I call you Hephzibah?" and she nodded eagerly.So he did for the rest of the ceremony. I was a bridesmaid and I looked over at my husband and his brother, who were shaking silently with laughter behind the groom. I cut my eyes up at my husband's uncle, the soloist, behind the podium and he was making nauseated faces.

This is the same site of the Mexican wedding I mentioned earlier in the thread and I've been to many weddings there. The other awful thing that happened at one of them: the couple had just said their vows and suddenly somebody is singing "Longer" as if he were one of the Munchkins! And then we realize it's the groom and he's serious! I had to put my face down in my lap for a long time until I knew I wouldn't fall over laughing.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

One of the wierdest ones I went to was my boss's daughter's Greek wedding. The Greeks all stood outside the church talking until at LEAST a half hour after the service was supposed to start. The bride (who was not Greek) finally sent the ushers outside to tell them that they were locking the church doors in 5 minutes. Then, most of the service was in Greek. And the bride and groom didn't really DO anything, and they didn't SAY anything. They just kind of stood there and watched their own wedding happen. It mostly centered around these two crowns with a ribbon tieing them together that kept being put on their heads, and then switched, and then held up, and then switched again. Finally, at the end, the bride & groom walked around the altar 3 times, and that was that. The reception was extravagant. They had a buffet 6 tables long, including a chocolate fountain...and THEN they had a sit-down dinner. The only red-neck thing that happened the whole night was the bride's family had pre-purchased all of the alcohol that the catering company served, and the groom's family just started grabbing bottles of it as they left. Full, unopened litres of Crown Royal and Grey Goose.

maybe they thought they were wedding favors?

(shoot, if i was a tad bit classless, i'd get in on the taking too!)

[33girl]

I've been to lots & lots & lots of firehall/all purpose room receptions, so those don't fase me at all.

As for the "wha?" moment, one of my sisters got married and the singer at their wedding sang Forever and Ever Amen. This was bad enough but he didn't do a nice acoustic rendition, he sang to a karaoke machine. We all sat there desperately trying not to burst into laughter (hard with this crew). It became obvious later that this had been the a-hole groom's idea.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by carnation

The other awful thing that happened at one of them: the couple had just said their vows and suddenly somebody is singing "Longer" as if he were one of the Munchkins! And then we realize it's the groom and he's serious! I had to put my face down in my lap for a long time until I knew I wouldn't fall over laughing.

What is it with brides and grooms wanting to sing to each other at their wedding? I have been to several weddings where they break into song, and they usually don't do very well. Even if you are a great singer, the nerves of the day will get to you (or in one case, the alcohol from the night before). I have only been to one wedding where it turned out okay- but the groom was a vocal performance major in college so he knew what he was doing. The rest were just awful.

If you must sing, save it for the reception!

[tld221]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

What is it with brides and grooms wanting to sing to each other at their wedding? I have been to several weddings where they break into song, and they usually don't do very well. Even if you are a great singer, the nerves of the day will get to you (or in one case, the alcohol from the night before). I have only been to one wedding where it turned out okay- but the groom was a vocal performance major in college so he knew what he was doing. The rest were just awful.

If you must sing, save it for the reception!

i never understood having a bachelor/ette party the NIGHT BEFORE your wedding day - that just seems like a recipe for disaster (ie. the bride above who overslept for her ceremony).

i mean i know bachelor/ette parties are veering from the traditional norm as far as the when, where, and even what... but as much as i enjoy unadulterated plastering in my young adulthood, please spare me the night before i walk down the aisle. i want to be ABLE to walk, not stumble reeking of Johnnie Walker and stale cigarettes. thanks.

[adpiucf]

I went to a really extravagant and no-expenses spared wedding for a sorority sister in Carmel. It was a Jewish wedding on a Sunday evening, held at the The Lodge at Pebble Beach. The wedding itself was amazing... my date, however, was not...

This was a guy who had graduated from an Ivy school, good family, fraternity man, and who had up to this point behaved like a total gentleman. Our dates had been really nice and romantic, and I thought he was the cat's meow. We'd been dating for a few months...

How wrong I was...

We had driven up 5 hours from LA to Carmel and stayed overnight from Sat to Sun. He was an absolute gentleman on Saturday... and then came the Sunday wedding... He proceeded to get incredibly wasted at the wedding and had to tell everyone, "You know, I'm not Jewish, but I was Lazer Wolf in Fiddler on the Roof... in high school!"

It gets worse. He got up on our table and sang Fiddler on the Roof songs, until I pulled him down. I realized we had to get out of there. So we left the wedding early for our 5 hour drive home.

It was totally pitch-black dark outside and within the first 30 minutes of the drive, my date rolled down my window and stuck his head out of it-- like a panting dog.

Then something happened. I thought at first, "Is it snowing?"

Nope... we were driving along at about 70 MPH and my date puked out the window... and in the car... and the wind whipped around and the puke ended up all over my car, ME, my hair, you name it.

To make matters worse, when I dropped this loser off at this place in Santa Monica, he tried to kiss me goodnight!

I dropped the car off for detailing the next morning and tipped the cleaners really well!

"Lazer Wolf" sent me an apology email, but I never spoke to him again!

[VandalSquirrel]

The worst one I know about, I didn't attend. Long dramatic story, but a girl who had been one of my bffs all through junior and high school decided to get married. I was living thousands of miles away in another state going to college, and never met the guy. I remember she sent me a letter all excited about the wedding, but then put conditions on me to give me an invite. She accused me of not accepting the guy, blah blah blah, and to be honest I never met him because when I was home visiting she blew me off to spend time with him, to the point I was home for winter break three weeks, and never saw her or met the dude. However she invited my family, who didn't go because she was just being a freako.

For all the conditions she put on me, and her other general ridiculousness, she got divorced, HA HA HA!

So on to the wedding. She wore a lingerie nightgown ensemble from Frederick's of Hollywood as a dress. Her flowers weren't fresh, they weren't silk, oh no, they were plastic and designed by a very tragic drag queen. The bridesmaids wore black, some lace, others leather. She gave the guests bad directions and they got lost (it was outdoors in a park), and neglected to mention the fee to get into the park. The food was a BBQ (nothing wrong with that), but she also made it a potluck, but people weren't aware of it so they didn't bring anything. And last, but not least, a skunk sprayed not once, but twice. Her reception then matched her attitude and behavior, it stank!

I recently attended a sister's wedding at a very classy resort at Lake Coeur d'Alene. The invitation said semi-formal/cocktail and it was on a golf course (which has a dresscode anyway). Most of the guys were there with a lady, and and least in my case, he was a real trooper and went with me to buy a tie and shirt to coordinate with my dress. The other husbands and boyfriends were in similar outfits, and we all looked lovely. However two guys showed up, one in CARGO SHORTS and the other in JEANS, sporting a University hooded sweatshirt, wtf? I knew it was bad when our dates said "I managed to put on a collared shirt and a tie, that's just tacky" and keep in mind, these are Idaho boys who drive trucks, kill their own food, and many have wardrobes straight out of Cabela's, so to hear them crack on any guy was just hysterical. The wedding was awesome and classy, but those two guys cracked us up, and hearing Idaho guys discuss it made it funnier. Oh and at the end of the night a storm came up and blew the tent away, but we were drunk and didn't care. I think the worst thing that weekend was running into not one, not two, not three, but FOUR guys I have dated, and I've only dated five while living here. The fifth one I had seen the week before.

[Still BLUTANG]

from a post I made earlier in the "ghetto weddings" thread:

Oh my goodness. Y'all have some funny stories. Here's mine:

My college roomate grew up in the same town I attended school. She still kept in touch with her people from high school who didn't go to college or remained in the area, so i kinda "hung out" with all of them when i wanted to get away from the campus crowd. SO.... our 1st year the roomate's ex-boyfriend made it known that he was going to try to reconcile with her, but she gave him no play. His retaliation: MARRYING ANOTHER GIRL THEY WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH.

No one took them seriously, so my roomate was like, I'll do anything to get u out of my life In about two weeks time, all the planning was done. We throw the girl a bridal shower and a bachelorette party because we were bored one weekend, and these two fools get married the next day in the bride's parents home. She comes down the stairs to K-Ci and JoJo's "All My Life" and is wearing her PROM DRESS... i lie to you not! the prom pictures were still on the mantle / altar. Her father officiates the wedding and that doesn't seem to bad right? WRONG!

This man stops the wedding to ask if the groom knows Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior... and we waited for him to respond.

and waited
.
.
.

and waited
.
.
.

I was in there CRYIN b/c the groom had this look on his face like, umm... can i get back to u on that? So after a definite pause, the bride's father / minister just starts praying and in the prayer says that this marriage will not be accepted in the Kingdom unless the groom repents and opens up his heart! We prayed for like 30 minutes until the groom finally realizes that this man was NOT going to finish the ceremony until he prayed the "Prayer of Salvation"... we were in the living room / church CRYING b/c we were trying to hold our laughter and the bride's father/ minister and other family members thought we were "moved by the Spirit"... after the wedding - the Bride gets into an argument with her father, gets her things from her bedroom, and declares, "I'm leaving! Don't ask when I'll be back!" and storms out of the house. Now we were laughing out loud and i had to run to the car b/c this mess was the absolute worst! So obviously, there is no reception. what do we do after the wedding you ask? We drive through the city (a caravan of like 5 cars full of college students and recent H.S. graduates) running red lights, honking our horns and blinking our lights, and we end up at the groom's apartment. Before we walk in the door he was like, "Hold on y'all, I promised my wife i would do this for her"... the groom runs into the house and turns on the stereo to DMX - Get At Me Dog and the proceeds to carry his bride over the threshold. We all enter the house and the newlyweds were like, "Make yourselves comfortable. Y'all can check the refigerator or order some pizza or something. We're about to have our honeymoon."

I had honestly blocked this ENTIRE weekend from memory until i started reading these posts. Thanks GC for giving me a good laugh for the rest of the week!

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

The only red-neck thing that happened the whole night was the bride's family had pre-purchased all of the alcohol that the catering company served, and the groom's family just started grabbing bottles of it as they left. Full, unopened litres of Crown Royal and Grey Goose.

i love it!!

you know, one of my fiances friends always brings his own alcohol. at one reception that was running behind due to the 4 zillion pictures that had to be taken (they are both greeks), the rest of us sat, smelling food and cursing silently to ourselves. this friend decided to liven things up, so he asked my girlfriend for her diaper bag, went to his car, and loaded the thing up with about 4 bottles of crown royal and bacardi. we took turns one by one going to the soda machine, bought a 20 oz pepsi, emptied half, and proceeded to get twisted. it didnt take very long since we all had empty stomachs, and this is the wedding i spoke about early with the buffet nazis. drunk and hungry is not a good combo...

we all (bride and groom included) went to waffle house later that night.

[OneTimeSBX]

@ Blutang...!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Still BLUTANG

"We're about to have our honeymoon."

There are no words...

[ZTAngel]

One of my sorority sisters got married a few years ago. It wasn't bad as much as it was just tacky.

My roommate and I were both friends with this girl. Technically, if you are inviting people who are over the age of 18 and live together but are not a couple, you are supposed to send them each a separate invite. My sorority sister did not do this. My roommate and I got an invitation addressed to the both of us. I think my sorority sister was trying to cut costs but seriously???? These invitations were not the fancy kind so they were a $1.50 each at the most plus the postage back then was 34¢. Plus she invited about 30 people to the wedding. My old roommate and I joke to this day that we're each other's significant others.

She started the ceremony much earlier than the invitation had stated. My friend and I showed up right on time only to see my friend already walking down the aisle. Argh. We would've been early except the park the wedding was held at was located in the heart of Downtown Orlando and it was about 4pm so everyone was still at work in the high-rises so we couldn't find parking anywhere. A lot of her guests had to park over a mile away from the site.

The park itself was nice but it was located next to the Orlando Executive Airport. During her vows, planes were flying over the park drowning out the ceremony. We couldn't hear anything.

My friend's dress did not fit her. She didn't want to pay for alterations. The dress fit her in the waist and the hips but was swimming on her in the bust area. Everytime she bent over, I really thought she was going to fall out of her dress. When she was sitting down at the table during the reception, people came by to her to wish her congratulations. If you stood over her, you had a clear shot right down her dress. And she wasn't wearing a bra.

There was no dancing, bouquest toss, cake nor music of any kind at the reception. It was a private room with a big table that everyone sat at. It was much like you'd imagine for a rehearsal dinner.

I get that she was trying to save money and what not but there's some things that you don't skimp on. The biggest being alterations on your dress. The pictures from that day will be looked at for a lifetime. She'll get to look back at pictures of herself with her boobs falling out of her dress.

Now that I think of it, this is the 2nd wedding I've been to in a park by an airport and the 2nd time the reception has been more of a rehearsal dinner type thing. I guess I have bad luck?

[SWTXBelle]

Okay, reading y'alls reminds me of two more . (I think being greek means you have more weddings to go to, hence more stories).

One of my sisters was getting married on Galveston Island in Texas. She was married in beautiful Victorian-era St. Patrick's Cathedral. The bride and bridesmaids came to the wedding in a trolley with a big sign that said "Get me to the church on time!" So far - cute!
So we are in this gorgeous, recently restored cathedral. The organ starts, and a high-pitched nasally soprano starts singing. "OOOOOOOO. . .my loooooooove, my daaaaarrrlliiinnng, I've hungered for your touch . . . " Yep, "Unchained Melody". We are stifling giggles in the Gamma Phi section. Next up - "Ave Maria". The bride had had medical problems as a child, and the Virgin Mary was her patron saint. She had a bouquet to lay at the feet of a lovely carved statue of Our Lady at the front of the cathedral. Somehow, no one had noticed that Lisa is about 5' tall, and the foot of the statue is about 6' off the ground. She attempts to place the bouquet - no luck. She jumps - again, no dice. Finally a groomsman comes to her aid.
The reception was at Moody Gardens, and very tasteful. HOWEVER - she had an "undersea" theme, and the centerpieces included long, tall vases with goldfish. Real goldfish. Who had apparently been there some time, without enough oxygen. Dead fish at the wedding is not a good thing.

I have a thing about weddings that are taken over by the photographer. I was at a wedding for a fraternity brother of my (ex) husband. After 30 minutes of sitting and waiting for the happy couple to emerge from pictures, we left, went to a bar, had a few drinks and went back. The groom wasn't thrilled, but I think you have an obligation to let your guests at least go get a seat in the church hall and have some punch while you take a bizillion pictures. We went back, behaved ourselves, and ate our sheet cake and drank our Hawaiian Punch.

[Glitter650]

When I was a bridesmaid at the wedding of my friend from HS, all of it was fabulous...... except ... they decided not to hire a DJ, so after food was served and such... everything just kinda died... and they met at a line dancing bar and both like dancing, so you'd think they would've figured out some way around the expense of a DJ == sigh ==