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  #16  
Old 02-22-2022, 03:51 PM
TXDG TXDG is offline
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First, YES! Rush has changed a ton in the last 40 years - resulting in a larger, more inclusive sorority system with larger pledge classes and many more amazing sorority women joining our orgs!!

When I went through rush right before RFM started on my campus, the most selective houses invited almost everyone back all week so that the PNM’s would drop other houses. Then there would be a bloodbath of cuts on the morning of Pref as the top houses would get their list down to the 50 girls they really wanted….so many girls without bids. Now, PNM’s have a realistic list of chapters who actually ARE interested in them very early so they can really get to know those chapters instead of dreaming of ones where they have no hope getting a bid. Also bids are now guaranteed for girls who “maximize” their options at Pref and don’t suicide - no more cross cutting! My campus had 4 chapters leave due to small numbers in the decade before RFM was implemented. That campus hasn’t lost one chapter since - and has successfully added 3 or 4 more. All are healthy and thriving and the one or two that miss quota are still getting 50-70 new members, not 5. That is proof the current system is a huge improvement!

But also some things are still the same like the reputation some chapters have for “zip coding” or some high schools’ graduates having a “top 3 or transfer” mentality. Prudence MacIntosh wrote the infamous Texas Monthly article about UT rush in the 1970’s…so yeah, those rumors of wanting to pledge their hometown or first semester friends are NOTHING NEW.

Honestly, it sounds like your DD had a bad Gamma Chi, whether she was poorly trained or just didn’t care to act Panhellenic, she was unprofessional and unhelpful in engaging in “tent talk” and rumors with your DD and her friends.

Last edited by TXDG; 02-22-2022 at 03:58 PM.
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  #17  
Old 02-22-2022, 06:54 PM
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honeychile honeychile is offline
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I admit that I never heard of the infamous Texas Monthly article written by Prudence MacIntosh prior to this, and it is fascinating.

You can read it for yourself: Sisterhood Is Powerful

Needless to say, recruitment has gone through many more transitions, including RFM.
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  #18  
Old 02-22-2022, 07:38 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Hootie2U, did your daughter and her roommate pledge?
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  #19  
Old 02-23-2022, 10:57 AM
Hootie2U Hootie2U is offline
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Roomie found a home at one of her top 4 orgs and is happy.

My daughter has a home at an org that was the sixth on her list but isn't sure she is happy/fits in......she's now thinking the whole system isn't for her. The org gave her a deadline and she is just taking that time to let it all sink in. I encouraged her to give that org a full chance and participate this week in anything they ask her to do-people may be different outside of the pressure of rush.

I met another one of her friends last night...great girl...my daughter mentioned that she went through rush also but didn't get an invite back to any of the orgs she ranked for pref. The NPC offered her 2 orgs she had already dropped if she was interested, but she withdrew before pref. Daughter said there were 2 more in her friend group that had the same thing happen--ranked A-B-C-D offered E-F for pref.


It is puzzling to me that these orgs already had their "girls" lined up. Apps for rush didn't open until 3 weeks before rush and closed the day before the first round. I guess the delayed Spring rush allowed for a lot of research in the fall to "scope" out your targets.

Last edited by Hootie2U; 02-23-2022 at 11:03 AM.
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  #20  
Old 02-23-2022, 11:25 AM
carnation carnation is offline
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I'm sure that if this is a school where you see geographic preferences, they knew the girls they wanted even before college started. They were in school and other activities, like traveling/all-star teams, with these girls.

Some groups are touting their fabulous diversity practices but in reality, sorority members are afraid to pledge unknowns. They could be the girls that do stupid stuff on social media or otherwise hurt the sorority.
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  #21  
Old 02-23-2022, 12:57 PM
TXDG TXDG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie2U View Post
Roomie found a home at one of her top 4 orgs and is happy.

My daughter has a home at an org that was the sixth on her list but isn't sure she is happy/fits in......she's now thinking the whole system isn't for her. The org gave her a deadline and she is just taking that time to let it all sink in. I encouraged her to give that org a full chance and participate this week in anything they ask her to do-people may be different outside of the pressure of rush.

I met another one of her friends last night...great girl...my daughter mentioned that she went through rush also but didn't get an invite back to any of the orgs she ranked for pref. The NPC offered her 2 orgs she had already dropped if she was interested, but she withdrew before pref. Daughter said there were 2 more in her friend group that had the same thing happen--ranked A-B-C-D offered E-F for pref.


It is puzzling to me that these orgs already had their "girls" lined up. Apps for rush didn't open until 3 weeks before rush and closed the day before the first round. I guess the delayed Spring rush allowed for a lot of research in the fall to "scope" out your targets.
First, your misuse of terminology is driving me bananas!!!

1. NPC = National Panhellenic Conference, the umbrella organization for the 26 womens’ sororities

2. NPC is not on your campus. Panhellenic or University Panhellenic is the group on a school’s campus governing those sororities.

3. Panhellenic organizes rush but they aren’t the ones doing the inviting. So when you say “The NPC offered her 2 orgs she had already dropped if she was interested”….that is totally incorrect. The girls your daughter knows got invited to 2 chapters because those are the 2 chapters that invited them back. Panhellenic has nothing to do with which chapters invite which PNM’s and didn’t “offer” those girls anything.

PNM’s rank all chapters they attended in previous round, 1-6. Rankings only come into play if the PNM has more chapters invite her to the next round than there are parties in that round. So if 5 invite her back, the 4 she ranked the highest (of those 5) are where she will go. If only 2 invite her back, those are her 2 invitations no matter how she “ranked” them. PNM’s don’t do any “dropping” unless they have more invitations than the max # of parties.



Second, YES deferred rush is totally different!!! The PNM’s have had a semester to make an impression on the chapters and vice versa. A PNM who has also been on the cheer squad or on the same dorm floor or in the same major classes with sorority actives is going to have a totally different rush in February than a PNM who shows up to college for the first time in August and rushes before school starts. There is no magic “clean slate” when you register for deferred rush because the chapters have been watching you all fall. If you got drunk and hooked up with an active’s ex boyfriend or if you ran naked across the tailgate before a football game or participated in virtually bullying on IG/ TikTok….the sororities all know.

And then layer on feeder high schools and the usual that happens on every campus. I don’t know why this is so surprising to you. Your daughter had a semester to get involved on campus and make connections for herself.
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  #22  
Old 02-23-2022, 01:18 PM
Hootie2U Hootie2U is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TXDG View Post
First, your misuse of terminology is driving me bananas!!!

1. NPC = National Panhellenic Conference, the umbrella organization for the 26 womens’ sororities

2. NPC is not on your campus. Panhellenic or University Panhellenic is the group on a school’s campus governing those sororities.

3. Panhellenic organizes rush but they aren’t the ones doing the inviting. So when you say “The NPC offered her 2 orgs she had already dropped if she was interested”….that is totally incorrect. The girls your daughter knows got invited to 2 chapters because those are the 2 chapters that invited them back. Panhellenic has nothing to do with which chapters invite which PNM’s and didn’t “offer” those girls anything.

PNM’s rank all chapters they attended in previous round, 1-6. Rankings only come into play if the PNM has more chapters invite her to the next round than there are parties in that round. So if 5 invite her back, the 4 she ranked the highest (of those 5) are where she will go. If only 2 invite her back, those are her 2 invitations no matter how she “ranked” them. PNM’s don’t do any “dropping” unless they have more invitations than the max # of parties.



Second, YES deferred rush is totally different!!! The PNM’s have had a semester to make an impression on the chapters and vice versa. A PNM who has also been on the cheer squad or on the same dorm floor or in the same major classes with sorority actives is going to have a totally different rush in February than a PNM who shows up to college for the first time in August and rushes before school starts. There is no magic “clean slate” when you register for deferred rush because the chapters have been watching you all fall. If you got drunk and hooked up with an active’s ex boyfriend or if you ran naked across the tailgate before a football game or participated in virtually bullying on IG/ TikTok….the sororities all know.

And then layer on feeder high schools and the usual that happens on every campus. I don’t know why this is so surprising to you. Your daughter had a semester to get involved on campus and make connections for herself.
Sorry don't mean to drive you crazy. Not sure what to call it.......this system is no longer affiliated with their University, but you are right it's not the National.

The PNM went to Round 2 parties for Orgs-A-B-C-D, none of them invited her back to Pref. She received an offer to attend pref for orgs E-F, she said no thank you.

Hope you have a great day!
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  #23  
Old 02-23-2022, 01:30 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie2U View Post
The PNM went to Round 2 parties for Orgs-A-B-C-D, none of them invited her back to Pref. She received an offer to attend pref for orgs E-F, she said no thank you.
I have heard of this happening several times. For instance, a neighbor's daughter didn't get invited to prefs at any of the 5 sororities whose parties she had attended the day before but her Gamma Chi told her that 2 other sororities wanted her to come to their prefs. (She said no too.)
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  #24  
Old 02-23-2022, 01:32 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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If I am understanding, the PNM in question had previously dropped (there is really not a better word) chapters E and F, and had attended round 2 parties at A,B,C, and D chapters. She then ranked those 4 chapters (A,B,C,D), but none of them invited her to attend pref, so Panhellenic offered her the chance to attend chapters E and F, despite the fact that she had already dropped them. That is such an unusual situation, it makes me wonder if this campus uses RFM.

I am sorry that things did not work out as your daughter had hoped. I'm with you on giving that chapter a chance.As long as she depledges before initiation happens if she continues to feel this is not her group, she could rush again next year. I'm guessing that her deadline is to accept or decline her bid?
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  #25  
Old 02-23-2022, 03:45 PM
Cheerio Cheerio is offline
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Originally Posted by Hootie2U View Post

It's an 8 sorority system. They had formal rush in the Fall for upperclassmen and again in the spring opened to all. Rush was 100% on-line in the spring
You mention it is an 8 sorority system. Are all 8 groups NPC groups, or are there locals/multiculturals?
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  #26  
Old 02-23-2022, 03:49 PM
Hootie2U Hootie2U is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FSUZeta View Post
If I am understanding, the PNM in question had previously dropped (there is really not a better word) chapters E and F, and had attended round 2 parties at A,B,C, and D chapters. She then ranked those 4 chapters (A,B,C,D), but none of them invited her to attend pref, so Panhellenic offered her the chance to attend chapters E and F, despite the fact that she had already dropped them. That is such an unusual situation, it makes me wonder if this campus uses RFM.

I am sorry that things did not work out as your daughter had hoped. I'm with you on giving that chapter a chance.As long as she depledges before initiation happens if she continues to feel this is not her group, she could rush again next year. I'm guessing that her deadline is to accept or decline her bid?
Yes her deadline is to accept the bid.
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  #27  
Old 02-23-2022, 03:55 PM
Hootie2U Hootie2U is offline
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Originally Posted by Cheerio View Post
You mention it is an 8 sorority system. Are all 8 groups NPC groups, or are there locals/multiculturals?
Yes, all 8 groups in the system are national, no locals.
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  #28  
Old 02-23-2022, 04:10 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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Well, I'd tell her to spend as much time as she could with her current group because the chances of her getting a bid in a competitive second recruitment aren't huge.
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  #29  
Old 02-23-2022, 04:17 PM
Hootie2U Hootie2U is offline
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Originally Posted by carnation View Post
Well, I'd tell her to spend as much time as she could with her current group because the chances of her getting a bid in a competitive second recruitment aren't huge.
I agree-totally, chances are probably slimmer than they were this year.

Unless she wants to join the group that pledged 2 .
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  #30  
Old 02-23-2022, 04:57 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Help her realize that accepting her bid does not force her to initiate. Should she decide that this is not the group for her, she just needs to let her pledge trainer and the president know that she wants to drop out-there may be some papers she has to sign. I hope that she will spend as much time with this group as she can, and that she falls in love with them. Fingers crossed!
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