"You'll end up where you were meant to"...

[mom2ee]

what about those girls that turned down Yale/Duke/ND to go to SEC school for the experience of Saturday football and Greek Life?

[phimusam]

Have heard that some sororities don't want top scholars - figure they are so interested in academics that they will neglect the sorority. I don't know which sororities believe that because almost all want a good GPA and those top scholars will likely have more money to give back as alums.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by phimusam

Have heard that some sororities don't want top scholars - figure they are so interested in academics that they will neglect the sorority. I don't know which sororities believe that because almost all want a good GPA and those top scholars will likely have more money to give back as alums.

I don't know about the first part, but we talked here recently about chapters not wanting women who skipped grades.

Also, many people who are high achievers in school are also introverts, and not necessarily the type who will shine in FR. I suspect THAT is the issue more than chapters specifically holding high GPAs against people.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by mom2ee

What about those girls that turned down Yale/Duke/ND to go to SEC school for the experience of Saturday football and Greek Life?

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

What about those girls? Anybody smart enough to get into Yale/Duke/ND ought to be able to understand that recruitment doesn't come with a guarantee, and that they're taking a risk if they turn down a top school for the sake of SEC Greek life.

I agree.

I would also add that those girls who turned down Yale/Duke/ND and decided to attend an SEC school for the experience of Saturday football and SEC Greek Life, most likely know what they need to do to maximize their chances to be Greek at that SEC school.

[sweetongreek]

I don't know if it's appropriate to bump such an old thread; but I wanted to offer up my experience as an example. I graduated from a pretty small private school, and was incredibly involved in all aspects of campus life. I did varsity sports, led in the clubs I joined, and maintained competitive grades while earning top leadership positions my senior year. When I moved to (in my opinion) a large college, I was overwhelmed and knew I needed to get involved in organizations to gain a community feel and find my place.

My university had deferred recruitment, so my first semester, I joined a club sport that I'd done all through high school. That was a great way for me to make instant friends, but it still didn't offer the "whole package" that sorority life does (service, sisterhood, social, all of that), so I was eager to join Greek Life. Recruitment... did not go well for me. At all. I can't honestly figure out what it was, other than I didn't communicate the great qualities I had to offer (the process was admittedly pretty intimidating to me) and while I could picture myself as a sorority woman, and my friends could, too... it just didn't work out that year. I had great conversations with certain women, but others lacked that spark.

A year and a half later, a sorority was re-colonizing on my campus, and I decided to give it a shot. I still was not exactly happy with the organizations I was previously a part of and this sorority in particular struck me as an amazing opportunity. I received a bid... and I could not be more grateful that I joined my organization instead of during my freshman year. As a junior, I was able to become a leader in my sorority immediately, which is one of the strongest qualities I have. Even had I joined my freshman year, I might have fallen through the cracks or gotten lost among the sisters. I may never have gotten a leadership position or met the amazing women I now call sisters.

I didn't believe "you'll end up where you're meant to" my freshman year... but now I realize I was meant to take charge with my sorority's re-founding and build a strong foundation. I do believe amazing women with great qualities simply don't have a great recruitment experience... it's almost impossible to figure out why one girl made it through instead of another; however each girl can find a different place on campus where her qualities will shine through, whether that's an academic org, pre-med fraternity, business fraternity, service organization, club sport, or student government.

[km124]

sweetongreek

I'm so happy that the experience did work out for you and that you did "end up where you meant to" but the larger reality is still that this is not true for many many girls.

I transferred to an SEC school as a sophomore looking for a better academic experience than I had my freshman year and also a better traditional college experience. After attending a school with low levels of involvement and enthusiasm I wanted football games and school spirit and greek life. Unfortunately despite being (at least in my opinion) extremely involved on campus, friends with many members of greek organizations, academically focused, and having clear reasons for wanting to join a sorority I was entirely cut from rush before pref as sororities chose for their upperclassman quotas the close friends of the girls who had joined the year before as freshman. At a large school like you can be a perfect candidate for greek life and still get passed over.

I cannot count how many times I had been told that I would "end up where I am supposed to" and its heart breaking to read those threads and hear those words over and over again when it doesn't work out. Am I truly "supposed to" end up in this position? Unaffiliated, bitter at the recruitment process, and unbearably sad on the nights my friends traipse off to chapter?

[AGDCanada11]

Bumping this one!

[carnation]

Bumping for recruitment season 2016!

[tcsparky]

While I realize that sweetongreek's post is quite old, her thoughts and feelings are often experienced by those who do not end up in Greek life. I'd like to address it.

She asks if she is "supposed to" end up "unaffiliated, bitter at the recruitment process, and unbearably sad." Perhaps she was truly supposed to not be in Greek life. It is not for everyone. However, being "bitter at the recruitment process and unbearably sad" are issues that anyone who wants to be Greek, but doesn't join an organization, must work through. No one is "supposed to" end up bitter or unbearably sad. That's a ridiculous conclusion to make, and anyone experiencing that level of emotional turmoil over a long period of time due to not placing in an organization during Recruitment needs to seek help to deal with those emotions.

The truth is that NOT EVERYONE should be Greek. NOT EVERYONE will end up placed in an organization. But everyone WILL end up where they belong- either in or outside of Greek life. I have many friends who did not go Greek and became involved in other organizations that shaped their lives in so many positive ways, that it is difficult to imagine that being in a sorority or fraternity could have added anything else.

Anyone not placing during Recruitment is always encouraged to try again- realizing that the results may be the same. Being able to finally accept where you end up is the emotionally healthy and mature way to react to one of life's many many many difficult and uncertain situations.

Originally Posted by km124

sweetongreek

I'm so happy that the experience did work out for you and that you did "end up where you meant to" but the larger reality is still that this is not true for many many girls.

I transferred to an SEC school as a sophomore looking for a better academic experience than I had my freshman year and also a better traditional college experience. After attending a school with low levels of involvement and enthusiasm I wanted football games and school spirit and greek life. Unfortunately despite being (at least in my opinion) extremely involved on campus, friends with many members of greek organizations, academically focused, and having clear reasons for wanting to join a sorority I was entirely cut from rush before pref as sororities chose for their upperclassman quotas the close friends of the girls who had joined the year before as freshman. At a large school like you can be a perfect candidate for greek life and still get passed over.

I cannot count how many times I had been told that I would "end up where I am supposed to" and its heart breaking to read those threads and hear those words over and over again when it doesn't work out. Am I truly "supposed to" end up in this position? Unaffiliated, bitter at the recruitment process, and unbearably sad on the nights my friends traipse off to chapter?

[33girl]

Actually, sweetongreek eventually got a bid. km124 is the bitter one.

If she had friends in sororities, it would have been nice if they had shared with her that her chances as a sophomore without many CLOSE friends in chapters weren't great, before she decided to transfer.

[tcsparky]

OK, whether it was sweetongreek, km#### or Jon Snow, my message is the same.

No person is "supposed to" end up bitter and sad over sorority Recruitment.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by LXA SE285

More like "opening the doors for girls to start out at a school with a super-easy recruitment, transfer to the über-competitive school to try to join the chapter there, then have to go early alum because the chapter doesn't take affiliates."

This was in response to someone upthread who wanted to write a book about recruitment competitiveness by campus. Great response, LXA! I hope she never wrote it.

[carnation]

Bumping for opinions? It's an old thread but if anything, RFM has made more PNMs have to think about this.

[FSUZeta]

Not saying that KM124 did this, but many a PNM has made the wrong choices when voting on the chapters to return to. They are not true to themselves. They choose the perceived top groups, who don’t have them on their radars, and where they don’t stand a chance. They rank the chapters where they stood the best chance. They don’t play the game right.

[Cheerio]

Apparently some SEC rushees aren't getting the message they aren't good enough for the "lower" groups on their campus, as pledge numbers (and numbers of open/reopened NPC chapters) have boomed considerably at SEC schools since this thread was begun.