Indiana University 2014 Recruitment

[DubaiSis]

I wouldn't call it criticism so much (although I can appreciate you would) but more of an analysis of the situation. The sororities all have more than 100 members and some significantly more than 100 members. The rushees meet somewhere around 15 members during the entire process. They do TRY to match members to rushees of similar experience and interest, but especially with a new chapter this is pretty hard to do considering the massive number of rushees. We say you should give it a shot because more than likely if she gave it a shot she would make friends and be happy. Many GCers came from struggling chapters and they find it very frustrating that a girl will for whatever reason not give THAT chapter a chance. They know that they had a fantastic sisterhood and all of the great memories that the top chapters had. To hear a rushee who has met MAYBE 10% of the chapter say the group is an incohesive mess is heartbreaking. BUT, being in THAT chapter is not right for everyone. You have to have serious nerve to take on the unknown.

Best of luck to your daughter. IU has a lot to offer beyond sorority membership. She'll be fine, and hopefully won't spend the next 40 years of her life bitter. And yes, I have friends in their 40's and 50's who are bitter about sorority women.

And to the above, no, those unhoused chapters DON'T have to take everyone they can get. This is the misconception of the large pledge classes. They still have to make cuts according to RFM just as all of the housed chapters do. The way RFM works at IU (as I understand it), the chapters pre-determine the pledge class size. Then they are given a number they have to reach after each round of rush by an outside person. Yes, their cuts aren't as stringent as the most competitive chapters who have pre-determined a smaller pledge class size, but they still have to cut to get to their numbers.

[Mom64]

She is not bitter at all, just disappointed. I think that asking all these PNMs to give it a shot is asking more of them than of the houses. Most of the houses didn't give them a shot.

And while you criticize a rushee who has met maybe 10% of the chapter for making a conclusion, why can no one admit that having only 10% of their chapter making a conclusion about a rushee any different. And all of these sororities who do not invite certain PNMs back, isn't it because they feel they are not the right fit or not good enough for them,why do the PNMs get criticized for feeling this way about certain houses?

Again, no she is not bitter, she is a bit anxious about who she will live with next year, the changes in her social life, etc. but she is a strong, smart young woman who will do quite well with or without the sorority membership.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Mom64

She is not bitter at all, just disappointed. I think that asking all these PNMs to give it a shot is asking more of them than of the houses. Most of the houses didn't give them a shot.

And while you criticize a rushee who has met maybe 10% of the chapter for making a conclusion, why can no one admit that having only 10% of their chapter making a conclusion about a rushee any different. And all of these sororities who do not invite certain PNMs back, isn't it because they feel they are not the right fit or not good enough for them,why do the PNMs get criticized for feeling this way about certain houses?

Again, no she is not bitter, she is a bit anxious about who she will live with next year, the changes in her social life, etc. but she is a strong, smart young woman who will do quite well with or without the sorority membership.

What's ironic to me is that you've been arguing that all of these beautiful, intelligent, well-rounded women are "getting hosed" by the system by being invited back to the chapter that "has to take them," when if all of those beautiful, intelligent, well-rounded women accepted their bid to that chapter, that chapter would be the beautiful, intelligent, well-rounded chapter.

Greek life is truly what you make of it. That's why everyone is telling you that your daughter should make lemons out of lemonade. Or she could move on and not be Greek. It's totally her decision. But of course we'd all prefer she take the first course of action and give it a chance. We're Greek.. we love it! And all 26 NPCs have something great to offer.

The reason we comment on the PNMs needing to be open-minded about a chapter whose membership they only know a fraction of is because they're not part of a chapter. At the end of the process, the chapter members are making a different decision than the PNMs. The chapters decide who to invite back. The PNMs decide to either accept their bid and be Greek, or reject it.

Every sorority has to make cuts. That's just how it is. They can't invite back all 1800 PNMs to the 2nd round. They HAVE to make decisions based on those few discussions; there's no other option. They don't have anything against your daughter, or any other PNM. And sometimes, it doesn't work out for them, either. I'm sure we've all had members who we thought would be great who turned out to be a grade risk, or party too hard, or who is just completely unsisterly. Some of those sisters are removed from the chapter. The sororities can make mistakes, and so can the PNMs. Sometimes the mistake is not accepting a bid. Sometimes the mistake is accepting a bid and not having it work out. It's a gamble. But like I said before - we want PNMs to experience Greek life the same way that we all have. We want them to fall in love with a chapter, and with their sorority as a whole. And that love extends far beyond the 4 years in college.

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by Mom64

And while you criticize a rushee who has met maybe 10% of the chapter for making a conclusion, why can no one admit that having only 10% of their chapter making a conclusion about a rushee any different. And all of these sororities who do not invite certain PNMs back, isn't it because they feel they are not the right fit or not good enough for them,why do the PNMs get criticized for feeling this way about certain houses?

Actually, no. It's not the same. A chapter is told they have to cut a certain number of girls, but that number doesn't necessarily have any correlation to the number of girls they liked or didn't. Your daughter might have been liked by every chapter and adored by several, but there just wasn't room on the list for her. There's no consolation there because top of the cut list feels exactly the same as the bottom, but don't assume the sorority women are a bunch of meanies who didn't appreciate your daughter's greatness. They have to make some very difficult choices through this process.

[HQWest]

Thing is - this is deferred recruitment, so it was not really just 45 minutes to make an impression. PNMs had the fall semester to meet sorority women if they didn't know any already. The problem is they fall in love with some chapters or the idea of living in the house, etc.

Under this particularly harsh short recruitment schedule, whatever the PNMs thought of the chapters during the parties, It may have been even more important who knew who before college even started.

[cinder1965]

Just learned a friend of mine has a relative who just suicided to Alpha Delta Pi....fingers crossed for her.

[Griffins&Quills]

Does IU use flex lists? Doesn't it diminish a PNM's chances even further if she decides to suicide bid, like it does elsewhere? Or is that not true of IU?

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by Griffins&Quills

Does IU use flex lists? Doesn't it diminish a PNM's chances even further if she decides to suicide bid, like it does elsewhere? Or is that not true of IU?

Yes we use flex lists. And if a pnm doesn't maximize her options (and suicides) then she is not eligible for quota additions if the chapter decides to take them.

[Griffins&Quills]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

Yes we use flex lists. And if a pnm doesn't maximize her options (and suicides) then she is not eligible for quota additions if the chapter decides to take them.

Ah thank you. That's what I wanted to know.

[sigmagirl2000]

Originally Posted by Sigmapsimom

But do the unhoused chapters have quota per se? I thought the chapters set their own quotas at IU.

Look at the numbers posted earlier in the thread. Each year 300-500ish women get released from the process (not by choice). This means that no chapters have invited them back. Just because they don't have a physicals house doesn't mean they don't have other reasons for setting a quota before hand, like needing to be able to fit into available rooms for meeting, events, etc. You may not know what the quota is, but it's still there, and I'm sure their RFM specialists know to expect PNMs to react this way towards these chapters and have some idea of what percentage of women will decline the party invites based on the numbers and even just a few years of history. The system will account for such things, and at the end of the day, hopefully these chapters will match with young women who will be excited to be greek and will give it their all.

[614]

My daughter almost went to Indiana, but in the end opted for Illinois. After reading this, I'm so glad she did!! This rush sounds like a complete nightmare and I doubt she would have had a bid. She's adorable, but very reserved and we are not from Indiana so she would have known no one in any house. Quite frankly, I don't get the need to live in so much. My Illinois daughter will live in 3 semesters as did my other daughter who went to Michigan. For both, 3 semesters is/was more than enough. Both my girls have lots of friends in other houses and outside of Greek life all together. It seems like all that living in limits your exposure to so many potential friends since you're so holed up with your sorority sisters. I went to a school without sorority houses and I would have loved nothing more than to spend a year living with my pledge class, but more than that, no thanks!!

[suze81]

I agree with much of what you have expressed here. IU Panhellenic made the decision to eliminate a FULL ROUND (and to incorporate the skits into the first round). This decision impacted the opportunity for PNM's and chapters to get to know one another. Our girls missed out on the opportunity to talk with at least 2-3 actives in every chapter because of the decision to change the first round from mostly conversation to one which included the skit presentation. Some of the rounds were lengthened, but still the elimination of one round meant bigger cuts at each round and less time for chapters to truly have a sense of who the PNM's were in order to make an informed decision about how well a PNM would potentially fit into and contribute to their chapter.

What was so incredibly urgent about completing the process by Tuesday? It seems irresponsible for IU Panhellenic to do so, particularly given the amount of concern and dissatisfaction with the organization which has been expressed on this forum and elsewhere BEFORE this decision was made? Clearly they do not have an interest in listening to their students and parents and making positive changes.

[ASTalumna06]

And another thing that has been pointed out here on Greekchat numerous times:

Sometimes chapters know PNMs better than they know themselves.

We've read numerous stories where a PNM falls in love with a chapter, doesn't receive a bid from them, "settles" on another chapter, and finds that they never truly belonged in that other chapter anyway. They LOVE their sorority and couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

Some chapters have particular personalities, or things they're looking for in PNMs, or things they're not looking for, or any number of things, that can let them know that a PNM is not a good fit for their chapter. The sororities (perhaps inadvertently) are sometimes making the best decisions for the PNMs by not offering them bids. That might sound strange, but we've also read stories about PNMs falling in love with a chapter during recruitment, accepting a bid from them, and later regretting it. Some of those people have openly admitted that they fell in love with that chapter for all of the wrong reasons (e.g. reputation, colors/symbols, the best house, etc.). And sometimes chapters just provide the best recruitment experience - food, decorations, chanting, great conversations, emotional pref parties - and then fall flat once "real-life" kicks in, giving new members the feeling that they were simply too caught up in the experience of it all to really notice what the sisters were truly like.

Regardless, don't get angry with the chapters. This is a complicated process and every experience of every PNM is different. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't, on both the PNM and chapter side of recruitment.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Another thing, re: mutual selection is that chapters do not magically get every PNM they want, either. Sometimes they get women who aren't their top choices, but they know those women have something great to offer and are thrilled to have them on bid day.

[pinksequins]

IU dropped an entire party round this year due to weather (which, as Irishpipes astutely notes, should have been a common sense consideration). IU's problems are largely of its own making.