"You'll end up where you were meant to"...

[LaneSig]

Article written by a guy at Vanderbilt, but I thought y'all would get a kick out of it.

"The many tears of sorority rush"
http://www.insidevandy.com/drupal/node/15910

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by LaneSig

Article written by a guy at Vanderbilt, but I thought y'all would get a kick out of it.

"The many tears of sorority rush"
http://www.insidevandy.com/drupal/node/15910

love it!! thanks lanesig.

[carnation]

That is toooo funny!

[AlwaysSAI]

This thread was started long before I was a GC member. Ehem, I was a high school sophomore in 2001. So, I did not read all 16 pages of responses. But, I am going to respond to the initial topic of the thread.

"You'll end up where you're meant to be."

In theory, I have no problem with the above statement. As far as I'm concerned, it's true-very true. My problem with the statement is how it is applied. No one ever qualifies the statement with-"You'll end up where you're meant to be which may not be in an NPC sorority."

For all intents and purposes, a PNM reading this should disregard the ΑΓΔ letters under my signature. I did not have a successful recruitment at a non-competitive school. As a sophomore with a solid GPA, campus involvement, and an outgoing personality, I was heartbroken.

As the year progressed, I found homes in two great organizations--Sigma Alpha Iota and Phi Sigma Pi. Both of these are fantastic organizations that provided me with all the trappings of an NPC sorority. We performed rituals, had bigs/lils, elected leaders, held recruitment, voted on initiate classes, and sponsored all-campus events. Both of my chapters even won all campus awards during my undergrad days--beating out NPCs and NPHCs.

I did have a home at my university, but it wasn't with the NPCs. I do believe that everyone who searches will find a greek home. But, telling a PNM, that "life goes on after recruitment" isn't enough. They need to know that there are other "homes" available and waiting for them.

[LXA SE285]

(1) You are just opening the doors for girls to start out at a school with a super-easy recruitment, and then transfer to the uber-competitive as a member of the top chapter. Gross.

More like "opening the doors for girls to start out at a school with a super-easy recruitment, transfer to the über-competitive school to try to join the chapter there, then have to go early alum because the chapter doesn't take affiliates."

[ElieM]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

I do believe that everyone who searches will find a greek home. But, telling a PNM, that "life goes on after recruitment" isn't enough. They need to know that there are other "homes" available and waiting for them.

Co-sign

Also, collegiate GLOs aren't the only greek homes you can find either.

[MaryPoppins]

Bumping because this will issue will be current again in a short few months.

[carnation]

Hoping that a lot of actives and alums will see this because in all truth, especially in a big recruitment where women frequently fall through the cracks: you don't always end up where you're meant to. Telling PNMs this often sets them up for a fall. You can't "trust the system", though it would be fabulous, but people are fallible and I'm so heartsick every year when wonderful girls do what they're supposed to and get dropped.

"The system" is not magic, it is not (as I keep saying) the Sorting Hat. I wish it were. Sometimes what happens is purely a numbers game.

Hang in there, PNMs, do your best. We're behind you!

[kaeb]

I was lucky enough to end up where I belong, but the process of getting there was really awful. In a weird way, though, I'm glad it happened, because if it didn't, I wouldn't know the amazing women who are now some of my best friends.

On a sort of related note, I know it's been said a million times, but do keep an open mind when you rush. I remember getting an unfavorable impression of one house from convo days, thinking that the girls didn't seem the brightest and not like people I'd get along with. Turns out I now have a bunch of friends in that house who are nothing like my impression of the women I talked to! Had things, for whatever reason, gone a different way and I'd ended up in that house despite having written them off initially, I think I could have been happy there too.

That's another thing: while I absolutely adore my sisters and wouldn't trade them for anything, at most schools with lots of (I'll say more than eight) chapters and houses that have plenty of girls (I'll say over 50), you're bound to find a few houses where you will fit right in, and there will be girls who could easily be your best friend (no matter what their house's "rep" is) in every house. There will probably also be a few houses where you wouldn't necessarily fit in with the entire house for the long-term, but you'd still probably meet some amazing women and make some great friends—and if, by the time initiation rolls around, you know it's not the right house for you, then you can drop (I'll probably get flack for advising that, but I don't see why girls should get initiated into chapters they won't be happy in, effectively forbidding them from ever joining another sorority where they might fit in much better).

I can't really speak for SEC/other schools where recruitment is at such an insane level, but it seems to me that at schools that are non-competitive (for the PNMs) to moderately competitive, you probably will end up where you're supposed to be. Or at least, you'll have the opportunity to end up where you're supposed to be—no one but you can make you take advantage of that opportunity!

I have a feeling this wasn't entirely coherent (I've been in a vaguely incoherent mood all day), so let me know if you need me to clarify any of that...

[KSUViolet06]

Honestly, the longer I've been in a sorority, the more I see that chapters on a campus are more alike than different.

It's less "follow your heart" and "you'll end up where you're meant to" than I thought when I was say, 20 and a new member.

I especially find myself not really liking the phrase "well, I just didn't fit in there."

Think about it, when we're dealing with these larger schools, the chapters have 100+ women in them.

How does one "not fit" with 100-150 people? You can't possibly look at a group of 150 people and say "they're all ___________." It's impossible.

Chances are good that you can find a nice sized group of people who share your interests in a group that large.

The flipside of this is when a chapter says that a certain PNM "wouldn't fit." Barring extreme circumstances, I can bet that she probably would. Especially in your 100+ woman chapter.

I dunno. I almost think that we could randomly assign PNMs to chapters at many schools and it would still work out fine.

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I dunno. I almost think that we could randomly assign PNMs to chapters at many schools and it would still work out fine.

LOL. Probably.

I think it's sort of like guys. There are a lot of guys who would be a good boyfriend/husband for me. There's no such thing as one "Mr Right." There's a lot of "Mr. Close Enoughs."

[AOII Angel]

My best advice would be...keep a safety chapter so you don't fall through the cracks. Like KSUviolet, I think very few girls couldn't find a way to fit in at most chapters.

[KDCat]

*bump*

The spam is killin' me.

[wareagle93]

Bump

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

My best advice would be...keep a safety chapter so you don't fall through the cracks. Like KSUviolet, I think very few girls couldn't find a way to fit in at most chapters.

Yep.

A PNM is going to have a crappy recruitment if she only "sees herself" in 3 out of something like 17 chapters.

And really, Murphy's Law of Recruitment states that a PNM who says she "only sees herself" at the top 3 chapters on campus (and is most fixated on them) is probably least likely to get a bid from them. It's always the least prepared PNM who is the most fixated on getting "only the best."

I see this a lot with the fixation on say, Old Row at Bama. Those who are MOST focused on those groups are least likely to get invites.

I'm going to try to put this as nicely as possible while still being honest.

It's so important for PNMs to keep it real with themselves and be realistic.

Let's say the top chapters at Big Southern University are KKG, Chi O, and Theta.

Many of the invites to those chapters are determined by whether you have a connection there. If you have no connections to those 3, aren't a legacy of some sort, only have like one rec, and have a mediocre GPA, you're not getting invited back to those. Manage your expectations accordingly.

Yes, Suzy and Becky in your group got invited back there. They probably know some Chi Os, Kappas, etc. and have known them since middle school or high school. You don't. So don't be so surprised when you don't get an invite from them.

Yes, I know you "see yourself as a Chi O/Kappa/Theta." You can "see yourself" in them until the cows come home and that won't get you an invite.

Oh and I know you're like, so awesome, have a 3.9, and don't understand why they aren't interested. That's great and all, but these groups have a lot of cuts to make and the first to go are generally the ones whom they have never met. That's you. get over them. Sooner rather than later. There are 15 other chapters in recruitment who might invite you back if you'd stop fixating on the ones who aren't.

Oh, and should you decide to drop out and rush again because "I only see myself in KKG, Chi O, or Theta" you're going to be out of luck again because those groups are probably the ones who don't take sophomores or do spring recruitment.

Keep it real. Everyone isn't meant for "the best of the best" and that's okay, but there are other groups out there besides those. Don't limit yourself.

It's like college admissions. Everyone can't go to Yale. But there are tons of other great schools out there where you can be just as happy.