"You'll end up where you were meant to"...

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I definately agree and to anyone who read my thread, this is a big part of why I gave my sorority a shot. I think the main difference though is that at your current school, you're not constantly seeing IvyU sweatshirts all around, whereas you might see XYZ sweatshirts all around, and it's more in your face and harder to forget.

ree-Xi doesn't want to be harsh with you but I will be. Shut up already! Enough with your "poor me" drivel. There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of girls who didn't get a bid at all this year.

You can feel what you're going to feel but you don't have to indulge it. You're going to be miserable in your life if all you do is pine away for this or that. Meanwhile, move over because there are people who actually have REAL problems in this world.

[AOII Angel]

I like this discussion....

What I really don't like is the statement that PNMs should just pick the chapter where they felt was "home." It implies that everyone will actually have a feeling of home with any of the chapters. For a lot of people going through recruitment, the process is artificial, and their decisions can't be made based on arbitrary feelings of comfort (that for some PNMs, by the way, is based off of incomplete or inaccurate information or after meeting 2 out of 200 sisters in the chapter.)

IT IS COMPLETELY OKAY NOT TO "FEEL AT HOME" WITH THE CHAPTER THAT GIVES YOU A BID.

A true "feeling of home" comes with time after friendships have developed, after memories have been made. I am one of those people who would have felt stupid and fake claiming that I "found my home" by prefs and would be offended to think that my choice was seen as less valid because those feelings came with more experience.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

A true "feeling of home" comes with time after friendships have developed, after memories have been made.

Agreed.

I feel as though it is perpetuated that PNMs will instantly feel "warm fuzzies" about a chapter IMMEDIATELY when they accept a bid.

This is NOT the case for everyone.

As with ANY other relationship in life, you will not feel instantly bonded with like 100+ people right away. Heck, you may even question your decision a few times.

That's okay. You aren't going to immediately be in love with your 2nd or 3rd choice.

It takes TIME to "feel at home."

It doesn't always happen the MOMENT you accept your bid.

For some, it takes going to a few events and finding sisters that you have something in common with. Sometimes, it's meeting your Big sis. Sometimes, it takes getting initiated to feel "at home."

So don't panic should you find yourself not immediately smitten with the chapter you got a bid from.

For some, it takes getting to know people and finding out what the chapter is all about before they feel "at home." And there's nothing wrong with that.

[KSUViolet06]

I know, I'm double posting, but slong the same lines:

Just like "feeling at home" with your new chapter takes time, it also TAKES EFFORT.

You likely are NOT going to become BFFs with every single girl in your chapter overnight.

You also are not going to bond with your new sorority sisters by just sitting back and expecting them to make all the effort to get to know you.

Just like other relationships, friendships within a sorority take time and effort.

You are not going to "feel at home" or "bond with anyone" by sitting back and sulking about being in your 2nd or 3rd choice.

If you really want to feel at home, you have to:

Get to know members
Attend events
Hang out
Have fun
Get involved.

If you are just so upset about getting a bid there that you aren't willing to do any of those things, then maybe you re-think your decision.

[anonymouse42]

A true "feeling of home" comes with time after friendships have developed, after memories have been made.

I agree with this 100%. I come from a school with a greek system entirely unlike normal ones. We only have a few, very different groups, and a long unofficial rush period. Thus, my greek was the only one I was interested in, and when I got a bid I'd spent far more time with far more people in my greek than most people will have during a traditional rush week.

And yet despite all of this, I certainly didn't feel "at home" when I pledged. I enjoyed myself and liked the people I knew, but I didn't start thinking of the group as my home or really feel like they were family until a semester or two in. It takes a while to make that kind of connection and really come to understand your group's mission, etc, even if you go into it loving them.

[born2bdphie]

I think an important thing to remember is that a chapter’s personality will constantly change over time. It's entirely possible that you could end up in your number one choice, feel like you are meant to be there, totally click with all your sisters for a year or two, and all of a sudden your chapter can start to change all around you. People graduate every year, and are replaced by a new class... just like in any relationship you need to be able to adapt to changes as they come.

So I do agree that the perfect fit idea is baloney, it's like a little white lie we can tell PNMs to ease their minds during the rush process. I don't think it's a bad lie to tell, because in many cases it stops girls from dropping out early on. But I do think it's important for people to realize you don't just slide into place like a puzzle piece. It takes constant work, no matter how long you've been a member of your house.

[peppermint23]

With the way rush is set up, it's impossible for anyone to get into "the right one" or to even know if they did. It's not about "where you are supposed to be" so much as "what you make of what you have." I firmly believe that. It's a little luck, a little chance, and a lot of positive attitude.

[travelous]

everything happens for a reason.

[LaneSig]

Article written by a guy at Vanderbilt, but I thought y'all would get a kick out of it.

"The many tears of sorority rush"
http://www.insidevandy.com/drupal/node/15910

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by LaneSig

Article written by a guy at Vanderbilt, but I thought y'all would get a kick out of it.

"The many tears of sorority rush"
http://www.insidevandy.com/drupal/node/15910

love it!! thanks lanesig.

[carnation]

That is toooo funny!

[AlwaysSAI]

This thread was started long before I was a GC member. Ehem, I was a high school sophomore in 2001. So, I did not read all 16 pages of responses. But, I am going to respond to the initial topic of the thread.

"You'll end up where you're meant to be."

In theory, I have no problem with the above statement. As far as I'm concerned, it's true-very true. My problem with the statement is how it is applied. No one ever qualifies the statement with-"You'll end up where you're meant to be which may not be in an NPC sorority."

For all intents and purposes, a PNM reading this should disregard the ΑΓΔ letters under my signature. I did not have a successful recruitment at a non-competitive school. As a sophomore with a solid GPA, campus involvement, and an outgoing personality, I was heartbroken.

As the year progressed, I found homes in two great organizations--Sigma Alpha Iota and Phi Sigma Pi. Both of these are fantastic organizations that provided me with all the trappings of an NPC sorority. We performed rituals, had bigs/lils, elected leaders, held recruitment, voted on initiate classes, and sponsored all-campus events. Both of my chapters even won all campus awards during my undergrad days--beating out NPCs and NPHCs.

I did have a home at my university, but it wasn't with the NPCs. I do believe that everyone who searches will find a greek home. But, telling a PNM, that "life goes on after recruitment" isn't enough. They need to know that there are other "homes" available and waiting for them.

[LXA SE285]

(1) You are just opening the doors for girls to start out at a school with a super-easy recruitment, and then transfer to the uber-competitive as a member of the top chapter. Gross.

More like "opening the doors for girls to start out at a school with a super-easy recruitment, transfer to the über-competitive school to try to join the chapter there, then have to go early alum because the chapter doesn't take affiliates."

[ElieM]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

I do believe that everyone who searches will find a greek home. But, telling a PNM, that "life goes on after recruitment" isn't enough. They need to know that there are other "homes" available and waiting for them.

Co-sign

Also, collegiate GLOs aren't the only greek homes you can find either.

[MaryPoppins]

Bumping because this will issue will be current again in a short few months.