"You'll end up where you were meant to"...

[LSUgrrl126]

sugar and spice (and everyone else for that matter) -- I'm really sorry if my posts have made it seem like I didn't give all of the chapters a chance. I went into rush with an open mind -- I was going to do my own thing (instead of staying w/my best friends) and knew that there were no true "top chapters" compared to the others. All of the chapters were great and throughout the past semester I've met some really great girls from each sorority. I think it would be an honor to be asked to join ANY of these sororities because they are all outstanding, in my opinion. I talked about 4 that I would accept a bid from because those were the 4 groups that kept me the longest throughout the week. I felt the most comfortable there and could see myself with them. That being said, I did not cut any of the chapters nor did I have a preconceived notion of which ones were "the best." The chapters that cut me after first round were the same ones that I didn't really "click" with during the parties. I was not surprised in any way whatsoever because I had the mutual feeling that I wouldn't mesh with them. These 4 chapters that kept me around were (and still are!) awesome. I was truly torn about which one I felt was the best for me. I do admit, I didn't know too many girls in Greek Life at LSU. I went to a small high school and most of my older friends went away for school instead of staying close to home by going to LSU.

As for the organizations thing, at the club sign up day (or whatever you want to call it) our 300 some odd clubs were all (or nearly all) represented. It was quite overwhelming for me considering there were so many people and I had a limited amount of time between my classes. I'm sure I overlooked some of the organizations but we're having another one on Wednesday and I have a good amount of time to spend checking out different organizations and my goal is to find at least 1 organization to get involved with.

Soooooo, back to the topic of the thread....I really just wanted to say that at some larger schools, girls might not end up where they're meant to be simply because of sheer numbers and limited spaces and lots of really great PNMs. I didn't know if anyone on GC was aware of the LSU chapters' rule "cut once, cut always." Is this a common thing for chapters to do? I just found out about this rule a few days ago, so I'm just now trying to get over not being able to be in a sorority, because this was a big deal to me. I'm greatly sorry if I have offended anyone in any way.

As some GCers have suggested, starting a local sorority is a good idea. I read the thread (well not the whole thread) about getting a local started at UCSC so I sort of have an idea of how I could go about doing it, but since LSU has a Panhellenic Board, how would I do it then? And would Greek Affairs really give me a list of the girls who didn't receive bids?

This is really where a new thread should start. PM me if you have any advice/suggestions/complaints/etc.

[kddani]

you should read this thread: http://forums.greekchat.com/gcforums...threadid=43119

[dgfromtx]

LSUGrrl...check your PM...I dare not post my two cents here.

[carnation]

bump

[SigKapCoug]

When i went through recruitment, I was cut by all but 3 chapters - two of which i had tried to cut - after the first round.

I don't remember being upset, and decided to focus on the three i did have (though it sucked other women we going to 10 parties.. and i went to three!).

I think you DO end up where you belong - the chapter I joined I had originally not liked much but as I got to know the women better through out the week I fell in love with the chapter. It took me an hour and a half to rank after pref (deciding between Sigma Kappa and XYZ).

I actually ended up preffing SK second, but regretted it almost instantly I was so excited to get a bid from them!

I think I'm a case where the chapter DID know better than I did about where I fit. Now, as a junior, I don't think I would have been as happy in XYZ.

Did I end up where I thought I would? No. Did i end up where I belonged? Yes.

I'll always wonder why I was cut by 10 chapters after first round, but it doesn't really matter, you know? I had no idea wtf was going with recruitment or greek life in general and I'm sure I shot myself in the foot, but I love where I am!

[adpiucf]

Realistically, "you'll end up where you were meant to" is the same sort of cliche as "Hindsight is 20/20."

In other words, s***t happens. Recruitment is competitive. You could be cut for your grades, your year in school, lack of sponsor recommendations, a "do not bid this girl" warning from an alumna, being someone else's legacy, your lack of activities/involvement, your social reputation in high school or college, your attitude, your personality, maybe even something like not looking like you fit in from *horrors* the way you dress yourself to the way you take care of yourself, or any number of factors that will never be explained to you because membership selection is private and any records are shredded following recruitment.

You're never going to get accurate feedback into why you were cut. It sucks. It's easier to get a bid on certain campuses than on others.

But at the end of the day, I hope you have better reasons for being at your university than joining a sorority.

And I hope you know that those girls who got into sororities are going to experience rejection and disappointment in their lives, too. And at some point, you may go through this again when you apply to grad school or a new job, get passed over for a student leadership position or a promotion at work.

As our moms always say, "Sometimes life just isn't fair."

It's hard to accept the consolation "I'm sorry you didn't get into a sorority, but there are lots of ways to make your college experience special" when you had your heart set on getting into a sorority, but sometimes life just plays out that way.

So yes, at the end of the day, you will end up where you were meant to be. It's kind of like finding a lost of set of keys-- they're always in the last place you look.

It's disappointing to be cut from a top choice or to not get what you want, but every person on this earth goes through that kind of disappointment at some point in our lives. Even Paris Hilton.

Cheer up!

[carnation]

Amen to that and I want to star what she said about how *the girls who make the sororities that you want to be in will face failure too*. There was one girl at Auburn who made everything you could make at Auburn, everybody loved her...and right after she graduated, she killed herself with carbon monoxide. No one ever knew why. There was a set of twins at Arkansas: they were the Queen PNMs when they rushed and after they got their top sorority, they got everything they tried out for on campus. A few years later, one killed her kids and herself and the other one tried to do the same thing.

Now I realize that these are way extreme examples but I'm trying to say to the girls who were or may be cut from their dream sororities: NO ONE has a perfect life, no one! I have seen so many hysterical girls during and after rush who say that this girl or that had a perfect rush and now the rest of her life will be perfect. Nope, not gonna happen.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Realistically, "you'll end up where you were meant to" is the same sort of cliche as "Hindsight is 20/20."

In other words, s***t happens. Recruitment is competitive. You could be cut for your grades, your year in school, lack of sponsor recommendations, a "do not bid this girl" warning from an alumna, being someone else's legacy, your lack of activities/involvement, your social reputation in high school or college, your attitude, your personality, maybe even something like not looking like you fit in from *horrors* the way you dress yourself to the way you take care of yourself, or any number of factors that will never be explained to you because membership selection is private and any records are shredded following recruitment.

You're never going to get accurate feedback into why you were cut. It sucks. It's easier to get a bid on certain campuses than on others.

But at the end of the day, I hope you have better reasons for being at your university than joining a sorority.

And I hope you know that those girls who got into sororities are going to experience rejection and disappointment in their lives, too. And at some point, you may go through this again when you apply to grad school or a new job, get passed over for a student leadership position or a promotion at work.

As our moms always say, "Sometimes life just isn't fair."

It's hard to accept the consolation "I'm sorry you didn't get into a sorority, but there are lots of ways to make your college experience special" when you had your heart set on getting into a sorority, but sometimes life just plays out that way.

So yes, at the end of the day, you will end up where you were meant to be. It's kind of like finding a lost of set of keys-- they're always in the last place you look.

It's disappointing to be cut from a top choice or to not get what you want, but every person on this earth goes through that kind of disappointment at some point in our lives. Even Paris Hilton.

Cheer up!

Yep. It is what it is. There's nothing you can do about it. Because it has worked out this way, this was the way is was "supposed" to happen.

But it's cold comfort when it contrasts with what a young women wanted to happen. I think we're on the same page.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by carnation

Hey guys--

So often when a rushee posts her experiences, someone will say, "Don't worry, you'll end up where you were meant to!" or something along those lines. It worries me every time because you know how quirky rush is and sometimes "our" GC rushees don't get bids.

Furthermore, PNMs at the big schools--like SEC schools--very often do not end up in a sorority where they were meant to be. The sororities have to cut big numbers right off and I have seen so many heartbroken PNMs who were active, involved, precious, leaders in their schools, well-liked, you name it--who found themselves with only (shall we say) "troubled" sororities from which to choose. Can't you just picture their dismay if they think that's all they're good for? And no, not all women want to take the bull by the horns and try to turn around a very weak group.

I've put off posting this for months because I didn't know how to say it in a PC way but finally decided I had to say it. Women from SEC schools will understand!

You said it really well here, Carnation.

[em_adpi]

Sorry, thought of this thread today...

I ran into one of my girls from my Rho Gamma group from this past Recruitment. She was my favorite (I couldn't help it! haha) and I was a little upset when she decided to drop on round 3. She just didn't know if sorority life was her, so I encouraged her to check out the other campus organizations and keep sorority life in mind.

Turns out she ended up being a COR to her roommate's new sorority and is perfectly happy there, even though she didn't really like them during recruitment. One of the things she mentioned to me was that she was amazed at how much of a difference she and her friends had seen in some of the sororities- some just weren't what they seemed to be during recruitment.

I went to an SEC school. I had good recs and a long list of high school activities including winning beauty pageants and lots of volunteer work. I had a good GPA. I'm not saying that I was hot stuff or anything, but I just wanted to let you know where I'm coming from.
I ended up in a "weak" house. Gamma Phi Beta is not that strong in the Southeast. People used to ask me what sorority I was in and when I told them they would say, "You don't LOOK like a Gamma Phi Beta." or "You're kidding, right?"
The thing is, I felt at home there. The sisterhood there was real and the girls didn't make me feel like I was being judged on my looks or my car or "what my daddy does for a living," like many of the other houses did. I could have gone to a bigger house, but I don't think I would have been as happy or as involved.
At first, I was disappointed when I realized that I would have to work hard to overcome the "reputation" of my sorority, but I've come to realize that, while I was never going to be homecoming queen, I was given a world of opportunites that I would never have gotten if I had chosen one of the "stronger" houses. I think that I am a good example of ending up "where I belong."
I know that not everyone has a good rush experience and not everyone is willing to "settle" for a "weak" house. But I think that if they truly give it a chance, maybe they'll see that they DID end up where they belonged after all. And, as for the girls who fall through the cracks, most of them are picked up by COB or Snap-Bidding... I think that if you truly want to be part of a sorority, you can be. Even in the SEC. You just have to have an open mind.

[Meow190]

I'm going to agree with many of y'all on here, but since I'm still a rushee, with a twist. I was certain that there was a certain school that was my first choice. I visited campus, loved it, they had great programs and a stellar reputation. I was sold. Then I got wait listed, and never made it in. SO I went elsewhere. And you know what? I am so glad I didnt get into my first choice, because I would have gone, and I am so happy at the school I attend now (I am not a rising freshman, fyi). One of my friends goes to my first choice (their second I might add) and lves it, but from what I now know, I wouldnt have been as happy there as I am here now. So I believe that like college acceptance and sorority recruitment, life has a funny way of giving hints to what's a good fit and what isnt. Now, I havent been through recruitment yet , I know that whichever house I wind up in (if at all) will be a choice carefully thought about by many and will be a solid one.

The funniest thing, I never planned on going the sorority route. In fact I avoided applying to schools heavy into the greek scene. Who would have thought?

Sorry to go on and on, I just wanted to show that heartbreak and confusion can lead to comfort and happiness that you were spared making the decision you thought was right when it wasnt.

Good luck to everyone rushin'!!!!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Meow190

I'm going to agree with many of y'all on here, but since I'm still a rushee, with a twist. I was certain that there was a certain school that was my first choice. I visited campus, loved it, they had great programs and a stellar reputation. I was sold. Then I got wait listed, and never made it in. SO I went elsewhere. And you know what? I am so glad I didnt get into my first choice, because I would have gone, and I am so happy at the school I attend now (I am not a rising freshman, fyi). One of my friends goes to my first choice (their second I might add) and lves it, but from what I now know, I wouldnt have been as happy there as I am here now. So I believe that like college acceptance and sorority recruitment, life has a funny way of giving hints to what's a good fit and what isnt. Now, I havent been through recruitment yet , I know that whichever house I wind up in (if at all) will be a choice carefully thought about by many and will be a solid one.

The funniest thing, I never planned on going the sorority route. In fact I avoided applying to schools heavy into the greek scene. Who would have thought?

Sorry to go on and on, I just wanted to show that heartbreak and confusion can lead to comfort and happiness that you were spared making the decision you thought was right when it wasnt.

Good luck to everyone rushin'!!!!

Cool analogy, I just wanted to point out (for the sake of other PNMs reading) that sorority life/recruitment doesn't have the equivalent of a "wait list."

Just in case people don't get it, lol.

It is true that one can be happy in their 2nd or 3rd choice however.

[Ggirl617]

Originally Posted by Meow190

I'm going to agree with many of y'all on here, but since I'm still a rushee, with a twist. I was certain that there was a certain school that was my first choice. I visited campus, loved it, they had great programs and a stellar reputation. I was sold. Then I got wait listed, and never made it in. SO I went elsewhere. And you know what? I am so glad I didnt get into my first choice, because I would have gone, and I am so happy at the school I attend now (I am not a rising freshman, fyi). One of my friends goes to my first choice (their second I might add) and lves it, but from what I now know, I wouldnt have been as happy there as I am here now. So I believe that like college acceptance and sorority recruitment, life has a funny way of giving hints to what's a good fit and what isnt. Now, I havent been through recruitment yet , I know that whichever house I wind up in (if at all) will be a choice carefully thought about by many and will be a solid one.

The funniest thing, I never planned on going the sorority route. In fact I avoided applying to schools heavy into the greek scene. Who would have thought?

Sorry to go on and on, I just wanted to show that heartbreak and confusion can lead to comfort and happiness that you were spared making the decision you thought was right when it wasnt.

Good luck to everyone rushin'!!!!

I definately agree and to anyone who read my thread, this is a big part of why I gave my sorority a shot. I think the main difference though is that at your current school, you're not constantly seeing IvyU sweatshirts all around, whereas you might see XYZ sweatshirts all around, and it's more in your face and harder to forget.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I definately agree and to anyone who read my thread, this is a big part of why I gave my sorority a shot. I think the main difference though is that at your current school, you're not constantly seeing IvyU sweatshirts all around, whereas you might see XYZ sweatshirts all around, and it's more in your face and harder to forget.

Not to sound harsh, but you really need to move on, for your own peace of mind. For lack of a better phrase, you are really looking a gift horse in the mouth. How many girls would have loved to be a member of your sorority and did not receive a bid? You can still be friends with the girls from the other group. These girls CHOSE YOU and you accepted their invitation. It's been a month.

It's funny that you bumped this thread when it gave the same advice that has been given over and over in your recruitment thread.