In-law venting thread - Page 14

DreamfulSpirit · #**196** 12-01-2011, 01:58 PM

My DH is one of 6 boys. The oldest is married, has 2 kids, and runs his own business. DH and his oldest brother are the only 2 who are married. Another one is engaged, but they won't be married for a while. The other 4 brothers, including the one who's engaged and his fiancé, are hopelessly unmotivated. One just started a job, another just got a job...but here's hoping they stick with the jobs for a while. The other two and fiancé just make excuses as to why they can't apply or get jobs. Mind you these last 2 brothers, are both OLDER than my DH. Apparently going to school just isn't an option either.

When we went to my in-laws for thanksgiving dinner, we walked in and DH's brothers were watching Jeff Dunham on TV. He's hilarious, and we were all laughing the entire time! Howver, MIL thinks it's just disgusting, the jokes, and whines and complains the entire time bout it.

One thing that I LOVE about DH, is that he keeps his family's drama separate from me. I mean we talk about it, but he won't let his brothers or his parents try and ask me for anything. I really appreciate it, cause otherwise if they heard what I have to say...I'm not sure they'd like me all that much anymore!

agzg · #**197** 12-02-2011, 11:11 AM

So, the weddings are over. Thank goodness.

Now she's mad at me over Christmas Eve. I didn't realize going to the church of my choosing was going to cause so much drama. It's funny though, she's not going to church.

ASUADPi · #**198** 12-22-2011, 08:33 PM

I hate my SIL so much. I hate how my brother has completely changed who he is and his personality because of her.

I hate how incredibly NEGATIVE my SIL is! She sucks positive energy from you until you are complete exhausted.

First she decided to talk shit about her own sister at lunch yesterday. Then she had the gull to state that her sister isn't even talking to her anymore and she "doesn't understand why" and that the only reason that she saw her nephew was because Melissa wanted to her to meet him. Mind you my SIL is the ONE who cut off communication with her sister because Melissa got pregnant and my SIL has been trying to get pregnant for the last 3 years (more later about that). My SIL is so jealous of her sister that she CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT and that is why she doesn't talk to her. Then, the underlying comment about seeing her nephew was more that "my sister did this too me in spite of me".

She then went off in the car about my youngest brother and again had the gull to make complaints about behavior that he has that she DOES THE EXACT SAME THING!!!!! Pot calling the kettle black much!

I have never felt so defeated in my life with the amount of negativity that comes from her mouth!

As for the whole baby issue I just want to say the following to her....

"if you really want to get pregnant why don't you f*&king listen to what the doctor told you to do. The doctor told you to cut alcohol out of your lives, you didn't do this. The doctor told you to lose weight, you didn't do this. The doctor told you to exercise. You chose not to do this either. The doctor finally told you to eat better, you somewhat did this but with the amount of alcohol you and my brother consume any good eating you do is going to be counteracted by the alcohol. So until you do the things that the f&*king doctor told you to do, stop BITCHING about you're not being pregnant. Stop COMPLAINING every month on facebook that you aren't knocked up yet."

aephi alum · #**199** 12-22-2011, 11:15 PM

ASUADPi - yeow! If your SIL is so determined to get pregnant, she needs to follow her doctor's advice. And if she won't quit drinking alcohol now, would she do so if she got pregnant? Hello, fetal alcohol syndrome.

--------

Great news ... MY IN-LAWS HAVE MOVED TO FLORIDA!

They still have their house in New York, but they're hoping to sell it this coming spring. They also have the use of GMIL's condo in NY, and they're supposed to inherit the condo when GMIL passes on. So they're planning to be snowbirds for a few years and then stay in Florida full time.

If I could, I would add enough

's to this post to put Tom Earp to shame.

aephi alum · #**200** 01-15-2012, 01:48 AM

My husband has DECIDED that we will be spending Passover with the in-laws in Florida this year.

GMIL supposedly has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. (According to her daughter, she has had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel for a couple of decades.) So she "can't" fly up for Passover. So we are REQUIRED to fly down to Florida.

Of course, that week is spring break for most primary and secondary schools, so EVERYONE wants to fly out to see Grandma and Grandpa, therefore airline tickets are 3x as expensive as normal.

And, of course, it is comPLETEly unacceptable to celebrate during a different weekend.

MIL and FIL will be in town for two weeks before Passover, but we can't celebrate Passover then because GMIL won't beeeeeeee there.

AUGH.

GeekyPenguin · #**201** 03-04-2012, 02:29 PM

FBIL and his fiance have decided the only possible time they could get married is when we're on our honeymoon, so can we move it please?

NO.

KSUViolet06 · #**202** 03-04-2012, 02:51 PM

^^With everything you go through, I probably would have eloped by now.

honeychile · #**203** 03-04-2012, 10:19 PM

I am telecommuting. For some reason, too many people think that means I'm not working, just playing all day, so of course, I should have the time to take people to appointments instead of working. HELLO! If I wasn't making twice as much as your son, I might be playing, but if you want me to transport you to whatever appointment you have, try making it after 3pm, instead of in the middle of my work day!

WCsweet<3 · #**204** 04-22-2012, 07:31 PM

My boyfriend's mother has been in town since Thursday. I don't entirely understand her. She hasn't seen her son in 6 months so instead of spending time with him. Instead she spends more time seeing her friends or making events where it's friends and her family for instance happy hours with friends or dinner with friends and family. I don't think they ever spent more than twenty minutes alone together. She never came and saw our place, not that it's new, but she has never seen it. I'm pretty sure her friends know more about me than she does. She didn't ask a single question about me. Not how school is going or how anyone/thing is. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years and have lived together for one. It's not like I'm new or that we aren't long term or anything. I just don't think we will ever be friendly or close at all. It's kind of sad. She is his only parent and I don't think there will ever be a relationship. It makes me wonder if my boyfriend and I have kids if she will be in the picture at all.

DreamfulSpirit · #**205** 06-19-2012, 05:46 PM

I love that this thread was started, and I sooo wish we all didn't have stuff to vent about...but oh well!

So as I mentioned in an above post, I have 5 BILs. DH's 2nd oldest brother, I guess he's engaged, at least that's what they say...since neither have jobs, who knows when they'll get married (and btw, this BIL is almost 40!). Well...him and his fiancée were pregnant at least 3 or 4 years ago, but she ended up getting some kind of infection that caused her to go into labor very early, ended up giving birth, and unfortunately when the cord was cut, they lost the baby. Well...she has photos of this baby on her facebook, including 1 as her profile pic. I'm sooo disturbed by this, that I unsubscribed from her posts so I wouldn't see the picture on my facebook feed. Someone else even posted on her facebook saying how gruesome that pic was, and she replied that she's totally okay with it (obviously!).

My DH and I are planning on trying to start our family within the next few months, before the end of the year...and I've told my husband how disturbing and morbid it is for her to have these pics displayed on facebook or on the internet. These pics should be kept privately, because not everyone else out there needs/wants to see them. If I'm looking to become pregnant in the next 6 months, I don't want to see a pic of someone's dead baby as their profile pic!

KSUViolet06 · #**206** 06-19-2012, 05:52 PM

^^^^Oh my. That's dreadful. I feel like those types of pictures should be private, meaning not on the internet or on display at all for anyone. I have friends who lost a son when he was born prematurely at 23 weeks. They have pictures of him (some alive in the NICU and some shortly after he passed away), but they're all in like a memory box in their bedroom. Nowhere public. That's just such a personal thing and I don't see why anyone would want that out there.

aephi alum · #**207** 06-19-2012, 09:49 PM

Since this was bumped, I want to follow up on my post from January.

GMIL did pass away back in early April, just before the start of Passover. She had surgery in February and spent the next few weeks after that bouncing from hospital to hospice and back to hospital, while getting physically weaker and weaker, until her body just gave out. She was 95.

Passover with the in-laws therefore didn't happen. DH and I had a quiet first seder at home and visited friends for the second seder. GMIL's funeral was a couple of days later (a funeral cannot be held on a holy day). We joined MIL and FIL while they sat shiva in New York. Surprisingly, this wasn't as unpleasant as I'd feared.

MIL is the executrix of her mother's will. Her brother is zero help - he just wants his share of the estate NOW NOW NOW. So, needless to say, she is a basket case. She can and will flip out at the least little thing at the best of times, and it's far from the best of times - so I'm letting DH handle the lion's share of inter-family communications.

Kevin · #**208** 06-20-2012, 12:29 AM

Doing family law cases, divorces with kids are a walk in the park compared to some of those probate cases. Good luck to your MIL. She needs support.

TonyB06 · #**209** 06-20-2012, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DreamfulSpirit

... Well...him and his fiancée were pregnant at least 3 or 4 years ago, but she ended up getting some kind of infection that caused her to go into labor very early, ended up giving birth, and unfortunately when the cord was cut, they lost the baby. Well...she has photos of this baby on her facebook, including 1 as her profile pic. I'm sooo disturbed by this, that I unsubscribed from her posts so I wouldn't see the picture on my facebook feed. Someone else even posted on her facebook saying how gruesome that pic was, and she replied that she's totally okay with it (obviously!).

My DH and I are planning on trying to start our family within the next few months, before the end of the year...and I've told my husband how disturbing and morbid it is for her to have these pics displayed on facebook or on the internet. These pics should be kept privately, because not everyone else out there needs/wants to see them. If I'm looking to become pregnant in the next 6 months, I don't want to see a pic of someone's dead baby as their profile pic!

While it may seem morbid to you, it may be a helpful mechanism for this woman to cope with what seems to still be a difficult time for her. Eighteen years ago, my first wife and I had a 2nd trimester miscarriage --by far, the most devastating thing I've ever experienced. As devastating as it was for me, I don't think my anguish even approached what she went through. They gave us photos (to aid the grieving process). I looked at them once and knew that day that I'd never look at them again. My ex, on the other hand, spent a lot of time with them.

My point is, who can say what someone else should or should not do (legally, that is) to get through their grief? It varies even in families, so why would anyone expect a friend's grief to follow somone else's idea on the matter?

You say you didn't want to see her "pics." After our miscarriage, it seemed the only thing I saw on TV for a week were baby stroller, baby pamper, baby formula commercials, and commericals of couples w/ new babies. Each of us gets through the best way you can.

I undertstand your post, but maybe it's best for you to just avoid this woman's FB page. What's she's doing may be helping her heal. God bless her.

ellebud · #**210** 06-20-2012, 01:39 PM

So...a way back I posted a few things about my in laws: bigots at best and that's the best thing that I can say about them.

My fil died and my mil is ill. She, the grand dame of society is paying her other son to live with them. (He never made a living on his own.) She has become, if it were possible, even more bigoted, stupid and nasty as she ages.

The saddest part? While her son is devoted to her (or her money), her other dil despises her. "Happily" she is blind so she doesn't see sil sticking her tongue out at her. Passive/aggressive much? My husband cares that his mother is dying...but my children and I don't care. I think that the absence of feelings is more devastating.

Lessons to be learned: I will become, in the next few years, a mil. Do my husband and I have valid concerns about the significant others? Yes. Will I voice them, unasked? NOPE.

.......reminds me....I have a birthday gift to get for son's girlfriend.