UGA 2013 Sorority Recruitment

[pinapple]

I think most girls SIP because they went into recruitment with either a favorite or a handful of favorites, or they succumb to tent talk. So if they are left with their favorite and one "not so much" or they have an overall "desirable by reputation" house, and one "not so desirable by reputation" house, they feel they will be in the house of "misfits" because that is how they have sold it to themselves. Most seasoned women agree that houses have base line commonalities. Sisterhood, tradition, support system, etc. But for some girls who build their lives around labels, from their jeans to the their handbags, to the shampoo they use, not having a "label" house is too much to bear.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by Lovethesand

I'm not trying to be judgmental because I had serious concerns last year that Debbie might SIP but I wonder..... do girls SIP because they feel that it's better to be in THE ONE or none at all? It almost has a cut off your nose to spite your face moment of panic, over-reaction, drama, hurt feelings, anger, etc. I wonder if girls who've SIP'd can think back on it and agree that it was the best decision or if they regret it almost immediately. Just thinking out loud.

Side note: I told my husband last year that SIP was an option for my daughter and he looked at me like I was crazy. His words "I know it's been a lot of drama for you and her and I'm butting out but I hope you didn't encourage her to SIP. That makes no sense to me." I told him he was a boy and that girls think differently. He said "I don't get it. Go through a week of hell (his words) and then walk away at the end? Women."

I like your husband.

I agree with Pineapple. The reason varies from woman to woman, though we do live in a world of brands. Some women probably do regret it, but recruitment often involves a lot of emotions and not a lot of time to deal with hurt.

FWIW, I SIPed in my first recruitment. Looking back now, I wouldn't regret it. I had felt incredibly uncomfortable in the chapter all week. The women constantly told me stories of situations that I would not have felt comfortable being around. They also constantly talked down about other chapters. The vibe they gave off during recruitment was about the opposite of what I wanted. I still don't think I would have done well there. Granted, recruitment didn't work out for me, but I didn't fit well with the campus which is why I transferred.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by pinapple

I think most girls SIP because they went into recruitment with either a favorite or a handful of favorites, or they succumb to tent talk. So if they are left with their favorite and one "not so much" or they have an overall "desirable by reputation" house, and one "not so desirable by reputation" house, they feel they will be in the house of "misfits" because that is how they have sold it to themselves. Most seasoned women agree that houses have base line commonalities. Sisterhood, tradition, support system, etc. But for some girls who build their lives around labels, from their jeans to the their handbags, to the shampoo they use, not having a "label" house is too much to bear.

This may be true, and since I haven't been through this type of recruitment, I don't know about "most".

I wonder, though.

Though there are (in many of these chapters) 150 or more women, the rushee doesn't see that. Just like she doesn't see that she is only a minuscule part of the "mutual" selection, she doesn't see anything but the women who rush her. She has no way of knowing what personalities comprise the chapter - what she sees is what the group - not knowing her - has allowed her to see.

It's so very easy to get a mistaken impression of something when you're only allowed to see a very small part of it. If she makes it through a couple of rounds without clicking with one of the rushers - or if she clicks in round 1 and then not again - can you blame her for thinking she might not fit?

Perception is reality.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by DGTess

It's so very easy to get a mistaken impression of something when you're only allowed to see a very small part of it. If she makes it through a couple of rounds without clicking with one of the rushers - or if she clicks in round 1 and then not again - can you blame her for thinking she might not fit?

Perception is reality.

True. When my niece rushed 3 years ago, she visited 1 chapter and her rusher pretty much sat and stared at her. But she was game to meet them again! The second round wasn't invitational either and another girl rushed her...and did not talk. Her roommate, who sat next to her at each party and corroborated the story, marveled that anyone could silence our niece, who could "talk the paint off walls".

You can figure out which group they both cut, even though 98% of the chapter might have been very friendly.

[PearlGirl13]

Originally Posted by Lovethesand

I'm not trying to be judgmental because I had serious concerns last year that Debbie might SIP but I wonder..... do girls SIP because they feel that it's better to be in THE ONE or none at all? It almost has a cut off your nose to spite your face moment of panic, over-reaction, drama, hurt feelings, anger, etc. I wonder if girls who've SIP'd can think back on it and agree that it was the best decision or if they regret it almost immediately. Just thinking out loud.

Side note: I told my husband last year that SIP was an option for my daughter and he looked at me like I was crazy. His words "I know it's been a lot of drama for you and her and I'm butting out but I hope you didn't encourage her to SIP. That makes no sense to me." I told him he was a boy and that girls think differently. He said "I don't get it. Go through a week of hell (his words) and then walk away at the end? Women."

My daughter suicided and had almost immediate regret. Thankfully it worked out for her and she received a bid, but her disappointment about not getting asked back to prefs at her "favorite" knocked her for a loop and she made an impulsive decision.

The one thing that I said that convinced her to hang in there and not drop out altogether was when I asked her if she wanted a wedding or to be married? I think that some girls get wrapped up in getting a bid in the same way that they get wrapped up in getting engaged or being the bride. They don't step back and see the long-term relationships that they will have the opportunity to form through a sisterhood.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by PearlGirl13

My daughter suicided and had almost immediate regret. Thankfully it worked out for her and she received a bid, but her disappointment about not getting asked back to prefs at her "favorite" knocked her for a loop and she made an impulsive decision.

The one thing that I said that convinced her to hang in there and not drop out altogether was when I asked her if she wanted a wedding or to be married? I think that some girls get wrapped up in getting a bid in the same way that they get wrapped up in getting engaged or being the bride. They don't step back and see the long-term relationships that they will have the opportunity to form through a sisterhood.

Excellent! I'll have to remember that! Thanks.

[carnation]

Oh, I love that!

[pinapple]

Originally Posted by PearlGirl13

The one thing that I said that convinced her to hang in there and not drop out altogether was when I asked her if she wanted a wedding or to be married? I think that some girls get wrapped up in getting a bid in the same way that they get wrapped up in getting engaged or being the bride. They don't step back and see the long-term relationships that they will have the opportunity to form through a sisterhood.

One of the best things I have read in a long time. Should be a banner running across the recruitment forum.

[FSUZeta]

I think that there are some girls who do regret it when they do not get the chapter that they SIPed. Other girls understand and accept the risk, and are happy whether it works out or not.

[DubaiSis]

I don't know about the regret vs non-regret, but I do think this is where all the drama of a week in such an intense bubble really does bite these girls in the arse. They would almost assuredly be happy in any chapter, but it's sure hard to believe that in the middle of the hype.

IF UGA updates chapter total every year (as RFM wants them to), then there will be a few opportunities for COB in the next month or so once the number gets re-set. This isn't a method I would recommend, but they still could have an opportunity to pledge as a freshman.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I don't know about the regret vs non-regret, but I do think this is where all the drama of a week in such an intense bubble really does bite these girls in the arse. They would almost assuredly be happy in any chapter, but it's sure hard to believe that in the middle of the hype.

IF UGA updates chapter total every year (as RFM wants them to), then there will be a few opportunities for COB in the next month or so once the number gets re-set. This isn't a method I would recommend, but they still could have an opportunity to pledge as a freshman.

I wonder about the effects of having less of a bubble. I agree that recruitment makes people nuts, but it also has its own momentum. Do we get more happy members across the board pushing 1000+ women though in less than a week or would we get even better results with a more laid back process? I'm not sure.

I'm kind of changing the subject here back to total: since most groups have shortened the new member period, wouldn't it make more sense to re-set total shortly after initiation (for most groups) rather than about halfway through the new member period?

Or is the new total supposed to happen right after bid day so that you can add new members to the new member class from formal?

I wonder what would be optimal in terms of picking up members from the pretty substantial number of girls who dropped out/SIP. It bums me out every year when I see how many girls who I wrote recs for don't pledge at all.

[HQWest]

I have seen both and deferred recruitment and in the longer recruitment scenario there is even more tent talk and comparison among friends and IMO this leads to more women dropping out altogether.

Under the recommendations of RFM - the reset of total is supposed to happen right after recruitment so COB women could be added to the regular pledge class. This is to be done before big sisters are picked to work though.

The problem with this is that emotions are still raw right after prefs and so girls that SIP will likely not accept a COB. They do not always have as many choices to pick from either.

[BraveMaroon]

So, I spent way too much time today looking at the Bid Day pictures - thanks GAmomof2 for posting that link.

But here's my thought, and OK, as a UGA grad, I'm biased, but I looked at every house, and all I saw at every house were adorable, happy, sweet, friendly girls. You could have blacked out the letters and I honestly couldn't have told one house from another.

I can't think of a scenario where I would have suicided (because that's what we called it) a house. In fact, as much as I loved loved loved Sigma Kappa at prefs, I also loved loved loved Alpha Gamma Delta and would have been thrilled to be there, too.

I wonder what would happen if they had the sororities switch houses for round one without telling the women. And just before round two parties, they said, "Oh, by the way - you ranked Beta Beautiful #1 - well actually those were the sisters of Alpha Average, so that's where you'll be going for that party."

We've secretly switched this sorority with Folger's Crystals. Let's see if they notice!

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

I wonder what would happen if they had the sororities switch houses for round one without telling the women. And just before round two parties, they said, "Oh, by the way - you ranked Beta Beautiful #1 - well actually those were the sisters of Alpha Average, so that's where you'll be going for that party."

We've secretly switched this sorority with Folger's Crystals. Let's see if they notice!

Twenty years ago Vanderbilt mixed up members of different houses for very early rounds. You might be bumped by women from different houses! My Sister went through there, don't know if its still that way.

[33girl]

Suiciding makes sense at schools with small chapters. Once you get over 100 sisters though, it's pretty ridiculous.