Why you didn't make it into a sorority.

[LionTamer]

That's kind of sad that these people had nothing better to talk about than your business.

No, I understood - it was my own fault, and by that time, I knew better. He was such an appalling Casanova and notorious trouble-maker that stories about his escapades provided us with hours of entertainment - throw out his name, and everyone had an story. I was once at a cafeteria table with 7 girls from another sorority when his name came up. Someone said "Well, you have to admit he's a good kisser." Sadly, every girl at the table agreed, all speaking from experience. I think every Greek system has some of those people whose exploits can be hauled out for amusement when the conversation flags......

<sorry for the hijack - back to our regularly scheduled thread>

One problem with cutting "snobby" girls is that sometimes the painfully shy or kindhearted-but-very-reserved get thrown out with the bathwater, so to speak. (I know you're talking about the obviously awful, but it pays to be careful)

Originally posted by LionTamer
(I know you're talking about the obviously awful, but it pays to be careful)

Actually, yes, I was the girl who went from AB to CD and said "They're so stupid!" and then went to XYZ and told them at AB were idiots. All too late (like 3 months) did I realize what a complete jerk I was.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

On rushing again:

I think that before you go through rush a second time, you need to stop and look at your FR experience.

There have been years on my campus where FR just didn't work the way it was supposed to: many bidless PNM's, many chapters below quota (usually it involves chapters' return rates varying drastically from their three-year average that was used to compute the number of invitations they can extend, but this could be a whole separate thread). This can be a cue that you should try again for COB or FR.

Or maybe you got a lot of invites in the early rounds, and were able to decline a lot of them, only to be cut in later rounds. Is it possible that one of those houses you cut earlier may have been a better fit? Are you willing to seriously look at houses that you did not return to after one or two rounds based on YOUR choices? Again, a good reason to COB or try FR again.

Or maybe you had something that you KNOW was working against you, like lousy grades, or no recs at a school that emphasizes them. If you know of a concrete reason that put you at a disadvantage, and you have since eliminated it, go again.

On the other hand, you were an obnoxious PNM, or you trash-talked chapters, or you skipped parties to which you were invited. Well, here it gets trickier...People change, and an incoming freshman can learn a lot in her first year, but there is really no reason a sorority should give you the benefit of the doubt. The burden of proof lies with you, and you will not be able to change anyone's mind in one week, so you are wasting your time unless you have gotten to know sorority women on campus and they can really vouch for your character.

I'm the first to remind PNM's that you can be cut for VERY stupid reasons (such as name mix-ups) but what are the odds of that happening at every single chapter?

[reverie]

DeltaBetaBaby, that was such great advice!

[honeychile]

Originally posted by reverie
DeltaBetaBaby, that was such great advice!

Hear, hear!!

Seriously, about the name thing: I can think of at least two times when the wrong woman got the bid ("I thought she was the OTHER Jennifer!!!!"). Please, please, don't spell your name funky just to be noticed, but make it clear WHICH Jennifer, Amanda, or Carrie you are!!

[carnation]

And a big amen from the choir for that advice, DeltaBetaBaby.

[James]

good point DB.

[Jill1228]

Oh yes, posting objectionable/controversial stuff on Greek Chat will get you cut. More people read this board than you think? Lack of discretion will kill you before you even start rush...I think that has happened to more than a few PNMs on GC

Some will realize that hindsight is 20/20

[dgdramadawg]

At my University, 18 chapters participate in formal recruitment and around 1250-1300 PNMs spend 5 days trying to pick the best house for them. It's a rough time, and it's hard for both to remember every conversation.

When I went through rush, I was cut by my first-choice house, and my three prefs were great houses that were very strong on campus, but I still felt like I had been the most at home at Delta Gamma. I decided not to sign a bid card, and I ended up receiving a bid from DG when I rushed again as a sophomore. I felt comfortable enough when I pledged to ask some girls why I had not been invited to prefs there the first time, and they said it was simply that I had slipped through the cracks. At a large school, that's just what happens.

[lifesaver]

Originally posted by dgdramadawg
I felt comfortable enough when I pledged to ask some girls why I had not been invited to prefs there the first time, and they said it was simply that I had slipped through the cracks. At a large school, that's just what happens.

Interesting you mention this. Today at Bid Drop Guys were announcing their fraternity choice (its a very public process) and I saw the look of "oops" on a few brothers faces when a guy came to the microphone. The were all, "Shit. We completely forgot about him. We wouldda bidded him."

BTW: What about the possibility of a sorority knowing their personality and knowing or sensing that a girl just wouldnt fit in or feel comfortable. Wouldnt that be an option? I'd think so.

[dgdramadawg]

Originally posted by lifesaver
BTW: What about the possibility of a sorority knowing their personality and knowing or sensing that a girl just wouldnt fit in or feel comfortable. Wouldnt that be an option? I'd think so.

I could see this being an issue if a house had a particular "personality," but I feel like at my school it breaks down more to types of involvement. We require members of our sorority to be a member of at least 2 other campus groups and we strongly encourage holding leadership positions on campus and joining sport and performing groups that require an audition/tryout... therefore, we would not extend a bid to a woman who would only want to be a "sorority girl" and nothing further.

However, I think that a house that gives itself a "personality" generally limits itself and the experience of its members... I would not want all of my sisters to have the exact same personality, would you?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally posted by lifesaver

BTW: What about the possibility of a sorority knowing their personality and knowing or sensing that a girl just wouldnt fit in or feel comfortable. Wouldnt that be an option? I'd think so.

Sure, this is always a factor. However, I think James point in this thread was why you got dropped by EVERY house, not one or two where you really didn't fit.

[MTSUGURL]

Wouldn't some of it be a numbers game as well? Last year, nearly 400 girls started recruitment, and less than 250 actually received a bid. I find it hard to believe that in every instance of the 150 remaining, the girl was an insipid twit with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. We have an amazing girl going through with us right now who was dropped by every house. She's cute, has a 3.5 GPA, is very sweet, not shy, etc etc. Thank God for us that she was dropped - we love her.
We have a specific number in mind of how many new members we can handle this semester, and we've got nearly double that number PNMs. All of the girls fit our eligibility requirements, they're all absolutely adorable, very sweet, have good GPAs, etc. Because of numbers we've decided on, we have to cut some. Just because we cut them doesn't mean that we don't think they're great girls. I don't really know what else I wanted to say here, except that as a girl that was cut from all the houses, even if I do know why, even if I'm fine with it, this thread makes me feel horrible, and I wonder how much I'm looked down on because of being cut from every house.

[dgdramadawg]

Originally posted by MTSUGURL
I don't really know what else I wanted to say here, except that as a girl that was cut from all the houses, even if I do know why, even if I'm fine with it, this thread makes me feel horrible, and I wonder how much I'm looked down on because of being cut from every house.

I think we all know that being cut doesn't make you a bad person or give anyone the right to look down on you. You are Greek, and we would never look down on you for being cut initially.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally posted by MTSUGURL
Wouldn't some of it be a numbers game as well? Last year, nearly 400 girls started recruitment, and less than 250 actually received a bid. I find it hard to believe that in every instance of the 150 remaining, the girl was an insipid twit with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

In a word, no. The college panhellenic sets quota, and I have never heard of an instance where a chapter participating in FR has voluntarily taken fewer NM's.

I would be willing to bet that a good percentage of those 150 either dropped out or didn't maximize their options.