"You'll end up where you were meant to"...

[kk_bama]

Originally posted by GreenEyedLady
I don't understand why being in a smaller house would effect your chances to be homecoming queen. Am I dense? I guess I don't get the whole southern school thing.

At Bama, it's all about being in certain houses that are ABLE to win Homecoming Queen...it cycles through every 12 years or so that a girl from a certain chapter in this group will win Homecoming Queen.

[Shima-Mizu]

I got cut from "ABC" the first round, and ended up in Kappa... I couldn't be happier! Though it took my Rho Gamma lots of convincing mid-week just to get me to stay in recruitment, lol.

[FSUZeta]

the fickle finger of fate, and others may not, the gist of this post is to advise us NOT to tell pnms what we believe in (or don't). do we honestly believe that by answering a devastated pnm poster, who was not invited back to a single party, with a "well, it was meant to be", that that is going to make her feel better? a more compassionate post would be "oh, i am so sorry." short & sweet.
it is all that needs to be said, and will not leave a pnm feeling worse than she already does. Lisa

ps: thanks to whomever revived this thread. as recruitment fast approaches, we need these reminders.

[carnation]

Originally posted by James
"You'll end up where you were meant to be . . ."

When I read that it sounds either amazingly fatalistic or terifically condscending.

If the relationship was meant to work out it would have or will . . despite what we do . . .

Well gee, if you got cut from every house except the one that no one wants to join, you must be meant to be with them!

Destiny or a perfect match!

I hope no one actually tells people this to reassure them. It would be pretty evil.

I'm quoting this because James hit the nail on the head back then...let's remember that this thread was started in January 2002...

[qteasied]

I know some people think it's bad to tell PNM's that they'll end up where they were meant to be, but I think it's what they need to hear. I got cut from every single house last semester, and while I was at first disappointed, I realized that I wasn't ready at the time to be in a sorority. I had some more soul-searching (and studying!) to do. I'm rushing again, and if I get cut again from every group, I'll come to my senses and realize that maybe Greek life isn't the life for me.

I'm not insulting Greeks at all, but getting into sorority isn't the be-all end-all for enjoying my college experience--(just something that I hope will be rewarding for me). I would love to get a bid, but if I don't, I won't be bitter about it and I'll even stay friendly and cordial to all the sisters I met. There's no reason to hold grudges against them. I just wasn't meant to be in a sorority with them, that's all.

Even if a PNM gets a bid from a sorority she hated, she'll eventually realize it and either drop out or work her hardest to make that GLO her home. So it all does work out in the end even if you didn't see it in the beginning.

I might be missing the point here, but that's what I've learned from being a rush reject. I got cut for a reason, and that's OK.

When a door closes, a window opens.

That's the bottom line of this long-winded post.

[adpiucf]

Things have a way of working themselves out. Greek Life isn't for everyone, but life goes on. Enjoy recruitment week, and just promise yourself that you're going to take this year at college to really embrace the school-- do well in your studies and get involved on campus. If that means Greek Life, great. But there are at least 100 other wonderful clubs and organizations where you would also be a great fit. And the best part is-- you can be part of multiple groups, if you choose-- Greek Life, student gov't, Chocolate Club, Sushi Club, Intramural Softball, Pre-Med Society, Golden Key Scholars-- this is your college experience! So get out there and experience it!

[ilovemyglo]

I had a totally different experience than most-
I could have gone to the top sorority at my school (when you think of homecoming queen, most popular, etc). I had an "in" if you will... but I straight up told them I didn't want to be there. I wasn't comfortable, and they were not my home.
The only sorority other than Alpha Gam that I considered was KD. They were the largest chapter on our campus and considered the best overall chapter. Good grades, very involved, sweet and fun to be around. Thankfully they cut me before pref. I liked them, but in the end I chose one of the two smallest houses to go to. I loved Alpha Gam and the women I met there.
I knew I could have gone ABC and be in a sorority considered one of the best and hardest to get in to, but I didn't want that.
I wanted Alpha Gam.
Even years later I have friends that asked why I cut ABC and I told them because my heart would never have been there and I would have quit after joining.
My heart and my home were with AGD all along.

Was it one of the "top"houses? Nope.
Did I care?
Nope!
In the end I know that I am an intelligent, decent human with a lot to offer a sisterhood. I don't care if people thought I joined a smaller, or not as good, house. I had opportunities most people never get and I still remain very close to my chapter and my sisters- something I know most of the women in other sororities don't do.

In my mind I wasn't joining just THETA IOTA I was joining an international sisterhood. College is too short a period in life to fret over being in the "right" house.
I can't believe that there are even adult women with children that would fret over that knowing that college is so quick and over so fast, at least let the women going through rush be happy.

[FSUZeta]

but being in the house that is right for you!! obviously, you based your decision on what was right for you and that is wonderful. one of my very best friends at fsu was an alpha gam, and alpha gam was the right choice for her too. beth could have joined zeta, but her heart was with agd. i could have joined agd, but my heart was with zta. did it diminish our brand new friendship?no. different folks have different criteria. that's life.

i don't think that most pnms are going thru recruitment looking at the "big picture." they are concentrating on the chapters on their campus.

and as for mothers wanting their children in certain houses, i would LOVE for my high school daughter to pledge zta when she goes off to college. but i am smart enough to realize that she will have to make her own decision based on her own criteria. and if i choose to post her recruitment experience, and your sorority has a chapter on that campus, i hope that you all will not be insulted if my daughter does not choose to join that chapter, just as i will not be insulted if she doesn't choose zta.

[ilovemyglo]

Originally posted by James
"You'll end up where you were meant to be . . ."

When I read that it sounds either amazingly fatalistic or terifically condscending.

If the relationship was meant to work out it would have or will . . despite what we do . . .

Well gee, if you got cut from every house except the one that no one wants to join, you must be meant to be with them!

Destiny or a perfect match!

I hope no one actually tells people this to reassure them. It would be pretty evil.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I'm quoting this because James hit the nail on the head back then...let's remember that this thread was started in January 2002...

I just reread this and I have to disagree, with both James and Carnation.
If a person gets cut from all the houses but one- i am not saying that it means they are meant to be "with that one" but rather lets say what is THE TRUTH-
all the other houses didn't want you to be a sister badly enough to ensure it and thus the one house that DID want you around enough to make sure you were invited and/or returned might be worth looking into.

Just another perspective.

[James]

How could you disagree with me?

Originally posted by ilovemyglo
Originally posted by James
"You'll end up where you were meant to be . . ."

When I read that it sounds either amazingly fatalistic or terifically condscending.

If the relationship was meant to work out it would have or will . . despite what we do . . .

Well gee, if you got cut from every house except the one that no one wants to join, you must be meant to be with them!

Destiny or a perfect match!

I hope no one actually tells people this to reassure them. It would be pretty evil.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I'm quoting this because James hit the nail on the head back then...let's remember that this thread was started in January 2002...

I just reread this and I have to disagree, with both James and Carnation.
If a person gets cut from all the houses but one- i am not saying that it means they are meant to be "with that one" but rather lets say what is THE TRUTH-
all the other houses didn't want you to be a sister badly enough to ensure it and thus the one house that DID want you around enough to make sure you were invited and/or returned might be worth looking into.

Just another perspective.

[FSUZeta]

that houses don't want you when pnm's are cut. it can mean that they had to cut a percentage of pnm's and you were someone who didn't have a rec. or who was not easily remembered. it can also be the result of a terrible mistake,i.e. my senior year i was a recruitment counselor. the daughter of a tri delta national officer ,who also had a sister in the tri delt chapter at fsu was going thru recruitment. she preffed tri delt and 2 others, but everyone knew she was going tri delt. well guess what? her name mistakenly was left off their(tri deltas) first bid list, and she was on the first bid list of her 2nd choice. boy! what a mess!! luckily, both groups did the above board thing and she was allowed to pledge tri delta. so you see, mistakes can happen!!

[Lindz928]

Originally posted by coffeegirl13
As for the strong vs. weak... I really believe that a lot of girls are unhappy where they ended up because they are going off of hearsay from older guys/girls about a certain house and are not keeping an open mind... you know... "XYZ is supposed to really suck god I hope I don't get invited back there" or just talk after the parties "XXX's refreshments/skit/girls/outfits/house/etc/ was awesome!... Oh you didnt get asked back there... OHHHH.... well they were great." you would be dissapointed too If everyone was talking about their great experiences (and maybe a little jealous) I think this clouds the minds of many pnm's and then when they go back to houses that they WERE invited back to they sulk/pout/and generally just shut down.

You summed this one up very well. This is exactly what happens at my school and one of the reasons why I do not think deferred recruitment would work there. The stereotypes of each chapters become too well known, even though they are not true at all from what i have seen. I have heard bad enough things in front of the houses before parties- and these are things that the PNMs manage to find out BEFORE school even begins.

[KSUViolet06]

BUMP- this was a good topic.

[nongreekloser]

I guess if it this holds true, then I'm right-I'm not good enough to be greek and I'm not meant to be. Therefore, I'm not in a sorority.

[Tippiechick]

Not everyone is meant to be Greek... Get over your little pity-party and start living life. Find something else to occupy your time instead of posting lame posts.