Ghetto Weddings, II - Page 10

NiaX · #**136** 02-24-2007, 05:58 PM

ok SisterGreek... yall have GOTS to sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her about this. She is too grown to have a broken heart like this. that dude is crappy... she don't need him if that is what he is gonna do...

NinjaPoodle · #**137** 02-26-2007, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

shoot... you know like i know... i honestly think they havent even been filed yet.

...listen, weve TRIED telling her that "Secret" weddings are not the way to go... he needs to know especially because he's still married himself. it makes me sad because she's a grown woman (50s) acting like a damn teenager over some dude who tells her all the right things.

wow....

tld221 · #**138** 03-07-2007, 11:18 PM

BREAKING NEWS... THE WEDDING IS CANCELED AS OF THIS AFTERNOON.

i dont have ALL the details, but the morning started with my aunt looking through her "fiance's" phone and finding the following messages:

Auntie's boo: yo she's picking out rings already
Boo's son: damn she's on a roll wit you

so of course she's offended. calls my mom up this morning, asking if she should confront him about it, to see "if he has any hesitations about getting married."

he pretty much says that he's OK with it, but that he feels like its rushed, etc... (mind you this wedding was supposed to be in July) says they should push the wedding back to 2008 to save $ and give more time to build the relationship (theyve been together less than a year and again, he's still legally married to the wife).

(ok let me mention that last week, she had proposed a couple of deals. 1. she would loan him the money for her engagement ring and he would pay it back after the wedding, and 2. they would both take out loans to pay for the wedding. 3. she wanted a honeymoon overseas, and he doesnt like to fly, so he was like if we cant drive to it and be back for work monday morning, it aint happening.)

anyway, auntie is on the phone with mom (they talk really early in the AM for no reason) and is like, "should i confront him about the messages?" well duh, then he'll know you were snooping through his stuff! and he's not the type of guy to cheat or hide anything (as far as i know) so what other reason does she have to go through his stuff?

so auntie and mom argue, and mom tells auntie off - saying "serves ya @ss right for trying to force a man to the altar" and she says "i am not forcing anyone, its what we both want... and besides, if im not a july bride i will die because i am tired of being single"

more harsh realities are tossed in the air. time goes by, conversations are had (i guess auntie confronted dude after all) and mom calls me this afternoon to say the wedding is called off.

like my mama say "if you go looking for stuff, you will find it, and chances are you aint gonna like it."

im just hoping and begging that i dont get to that sorry state of lonliness at that age to act a dayum fool.

NinjaPoodle · #**139** 03-08-2007, 12:00 AM

Soror,

Please tell her that her self worth is worth way more than a man who doesnt care about her and to step back an re-evaluate the situation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NiaX

ok SisterGreek... yall have GOTS to sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her about this. She is too grown to have a broken heart like this. that dude is crappy... she don't need him if that is what he is gonna do...

What Sistergreek NiaX said too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

BREAKING NEWS... THE WEDDING IS CANCELED AS OF THIS AFTERNOON.

i dont have ALL the details, but the morning started with my aunt looking through her "fiance's" phone and finding the following messages:

Auntie's boo: yo she's picking out rings already
Boo's son: damn she's on a roll wit you

so of course she's offended. calls my mom up this morning, asking if she should confront him about it, to see "if he has any hesitations about getting married."

he pretty much says that he's OK with it, but that he feels like its rushed, etc... (mind you this wedding was supposed to be in July) says they should push the wedding back to 2008 to save $ and give more time to build the relationship (theyve been together less than a year and again, he's still legally married to the wife).

(ok let me mention that last week, she had proposed a couple of deals. 1. she would loan him the money for her engagement ring and he would pay it back after the wedding, and 2. they would both take out loans to pay for the wedding. 3. she wanted a honeymoon overseas, and he doesnt like to fly, so he was like if we cant drive to it and be back for work monday morning, it aint happening.)

anyway, auntie is on the phone with mom (they talk really early in the AM for no reason) and is like, "should i confront him about the messages?" well duh, then he'll know you were snooping through his stuff! and he's not the type of guy to cheat or hide anything (as far as i know) so what other reason does she have to go through his stuff?

so auntie and mom argue, and mom tells auntie off - saying "serves ya @ss right for trying to force a man to the altar" and she says "i am not forcing anyone, its what we both want... and besides, if im not a july bride i will die because i am tired of being single"

more harsh realities are tossed in the air. time goes by, conversations are had (i guess auntie confronted dude after all) and mom calls me this afternoon to say the wedding is called off.

like my mama say "if you go looking for stuff, you will find it, and chances are you aint gonna like it."

im just hoping and begging that i dont get to that sorry state of lonliness at that age to act a dayum fool.

tld221 · #**140** 03-08-2007, 12:06 AM

see here's my thing. i dont think dude is necessarily a bad dude. if anything, her crazy sprung desperate @ss is doing all the things men complain about and makes them leave.

i know i sholdbe more sympathetic, but come on! she really brought this on herself. you cant go from "just met" to "married and shacked up" in less than a year and expect things to be all gravy. its one big "i told you so" and i dont care if i come off as a know-it-all to her. i'm working off common sense, which always prevails over working off of love and emotion.

aopirose · #**141** 03-08-2007, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

see here's my thing. i dont think dude is necessarily a bad dude. if anything, her crazy sprung desperate @ss is doing all the things men complain about and makes them leave.

i know i sholdbe more sympathetic, but come on! she really brought this on herself. you cant go from "just met" to "married and shacked up" in less than a year and expect things to be all gravy. its one big "i told you so" and i dont care if i come off as a know-it-all to her. i'm working off common sense, which always prevails over working off of love and emotion.

tld221, you are doing the what you need to do. You love your aunt and she needs your support. Part of supporting her is telling her the true truth as you and your mom have tried to do. This cancelation, postponement, reprieve is the best thing that could have happened to her. Let's hope that she comes to see this too. If she and the guy are supposed to be together, it is best to come to the union with full understanding and committment. There are a lot worse things in the world than being without a man.

tld221 · #**142** 03-30-2007, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

BREAKING NEWS... THE WEDDING IS CANCELED AS OF THIS AFTERNOON.

so if you have been following this epidrama... well the wedding is back on.

this chick (AKA my auntie) goes out in search of cheap deals for wedding rings.

her friend takes her to some outlet mall in NJ and spent $1500 on the engagement ring and the 2 wedding bands. the engagement ring looked average - nothing spectacular. now i dont know what engagement rings should cost (maybe i should check that thread in the D&R forum?) but rule if rule #1 is WEDDINGS SHOULD NOT BE SURPRISE PARTIES, then rule #2 is gonna have to be WEDDING RINGS SHOULD NOT BE BOUGHT IN PACKAGE DEALS. which leads me to rule 2a:

IF YOU NEED TO TAKE A LOAN FOR YOUR WEDDING RINGS... MAYBE YOU SHOULD WAIT IT OUT OR SOMETHING.

(if you recall, auntie was taking out a loan cause she's broke as a joke)

so she comes over the show off the ring - chick has it on her finger and everythang! and we're all like "its aight..." and she throws a FIT! whatever.

i ask, "so how was the proposal?" she says, "oh he's gonna do it tonight, i already planned it." WTF? she continues, "i got some cute lingerie (TMI) and ima have some Barry White in the background and he's going to propose at 8:30. then he'll put the ring on and then we'll take it from there."

me:

why do i even bother to make sense of this HAM?

we're all like "why dont you let him propose his own way on his own time? how you know he's gonna do it tonite?" and SHE SAYS:

"cause he knows that i need to show this thing off tomorrow at church, so he better ack right."

SMH...

AlphaFrog · #**143** 03-30-2007, 02:13 PM

Ok, I think I just flatlined.

Does your family come complete with hidden cameras? Caz you know this is better then anything Mark Burnett or Donald Trump could ever come up with.

NiaX · #**144** 03-30-2007, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

so if you have been following this epidrama... well the wedding is back on.

this chick (AKA my auntie) goes out in search of cheap deals for wedding rings.

her friend takes her to some outlet mall in NJ and spent $1500 on the engagement ring and the 2 wedding bands. the engagement ring looked average - nothing spectacular. now i dont know what engagement rings should cost (maybe i should check that thread in the D&R forum?) but rule if rule #1 is WEDDINGS SHOULD NOT BE SURPRISE PARTIES, then rule #2 is gonna have to be WEDDING RINGS SHOULD NOT BE BOUGHT IN PACKAGE DEALS. which leads me to rule 2a:

IF YOU NEED TO TAKE A LOAN FOR YOUR WEDDING RINGS... MAYBE YOU SHOULD WAIT IT OUT OR SOMETHING.

(if you recall, auntie was taking out a loan cause she's broke as a joke)

so she comes over the show off the ring - chick has it on her finger and everythang! and we're all like "its aight..." and she throws a FIT! whatever.

i ask, "so how was the proposal?" she says, "oh he's gonna do it tonight, i already planned it." WTF? she continues, "i got some cute lingerie (TMI) and ima have some Barry White in the background and he's going to propose at 8:30. then he'll put the ring on and then we'll take it from there."

me:

why do i even bother to make sense of this HAM?

we're all like "why dont you let him propose his own way on his own time? how you know he's gonna do it tonite?" and SHE SAYS:

"cause he knows that i need to show this thing off tomorrow at church, so he better ack right."

SMH...

Help!!!! This is too much.. LOL!!! just go and smack ya Auntie one good time to see if she will come back to reality... with your mom's permission... if not see if ya mom can do it... cause this... is HAWT SHIGGIDY ASSZZ MESS!!!!

*praying all over dat!*

angelove · #**145** 03-31-2007, 02:40 PM

This has become my favorite thread.

Dying to know ... what happened with the "proposal?" Did he get down on his knee at 8:30 with Barry White in the background?

FeeFee · #**146** 03-31-2007, 02:58 PM

OH MY DAYUMS @ Auntie's wedding saga.

I swear this isht can't be scripted.

pinkies up · #**147** 03-31-2007, 09:45 PM

You've got to get with CT4. That would be a dayum good screen play or t.v. show!!! I can't wait for the "wedding".

Still BLUTANG · #**148** 04-02-2007, 02:27 PM

i need to know what happened? how was church? LOL

Virtual Violet · #**149** 04-03-2007, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

BREAKING NEWS... THE WEDDING IS CANCELED AS OF THIS AFTERNOON.

i dont have ALL the details, but the morning started with my aunt looking through her "fiance's" phone and finding the following messages:

Auntie's boo: yo she's picking out rings already
Boo's son: damn she's on a roll wit you

so of course she's offended. calls my mom up this morning, asking if she should confront him about it, to see "if he has any hesitations about getting married."

he pretty much says that he's OK with it, but that he feels like its rushed, etc... (mind you this wedding was supposed to be in July) says they should push the wedding back to 2008 to save $ and give more time to build the relationship (theyve been together less than a year and again, he's still legally married to the wife).

(ok let me mention that last week, she had proposed a couple of deals. 1. she would loan him the money for her engagement ring and he would pay it back after the wedding, and 2. they would both take out loans to pay for the wedding. 3. she wanted a honeymoon overseas, and he doesnt like to fly, so he was like if we cant drive to it and be back for work monday morning, it aint happening.)

The guy gave a legitimate reason to delay the marriage, PLUS, no matter what you do...you can't LEGALLY MARRY SOMEONE WHO IS STILL MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE.....so what would be the point of going through with it in the first place?!!

Plus: IMHO

"1. she would loan him the money for her engagement ring and he would pay it back after the wedding,"-BAD IDEA....If the man can't get the ring himself, we ain't getting engaged or married PERIOD!! To me the purchase of the ring is an indication that HE MADE AN INDEPENDENT DECISION TO MARRY YOU WITHOUT COERCION! (Plus this has been the root of countless cases on Judge Mathis!!)

"2. they would both take out loans to pay for the wedding." Why would you start off a marriage in conflict by taking on alot of debt? That has been the undoing of many marriages. One spouse is usually resentful about the amount of debt the wedding created. (IN THIS CASE, PROBABLY HUBBY-TO-BE)

"3. she wanted a honeymoon overseas, and he doesnt like to fly, so he was like if we cant drive to it and be back for work monday morning, it aint happening.").

To me this is indicative of a deeper problem. He's basically telling he is not open to trying new things to please her. He has told her not to expect to do something she seems to like (traveling overseas) if she marries him. She can't complain later if her honeymoon consists of a weekend at the local Hollday Inn and that "we never go anywhere". HE TOLD YOU UP FRONT. Personally, if he is willing to treat the honeymoon as a weekend afterthought, how will he treat you in the marriage?

Mind you I have never been married and in my early 40's, but I'm not willing to overlook somethings for the sake of being married just because I'm "older". If its meant to be, then it will happen. LADIES, WE HAVE GOT TO QUIT SETTLING, BEING IMPATIENT, AND SELLING OURSELVES SHORT FOR THE SAKE OF BEING MARRIED!

aopirose · #**150** 04-03-2007, 11:12 AM

tld221, what happened?