LouisaMay's Long Search begins... - Page 10

LouisaMay · #**136** 08-02-2004, 11:46 AM

I had a dream last night that I was accepted for membership in "Little Women." I was sent a big bouquet of flowers, and I had a wonderful surprise greeting from sisters from all over the state. It was an amazing dream!

LM

pinkyphimu · #**137** 08-02-2004, 09:27 PM

i hope that your dream is a sign of things to come!

LouisaMay · #**138** 09-06-2004, 03:14 PM

Well...nothing, nothing, nothing. I'm going to send cards out with my new contact information (I moved over the summer), and my links to "Little Women" will definitely be finding them in their mailboxes.

I keep telling myself that things have been slow because of the summer. I hope that's true...

LM

SmartBlondeGPhB · #**139** 09-06-2004, 03:21 PM

Yes, things are usually always slow in the summer.

LouisaMay · #**140** 09-20-2004, 03:31 PM

Hi, everybody!
I sent out my new contact info to the alumnae group, the collegiate chapter, and the officer who has been helping me. I haven't heard anything, but it's only been a week or so since the cards went out.

I'm still in this with everything I've got, but I'm certainly not short on things to keep me busy. I'm actually helping to organize a leadership conference at my alma mater. Should be fun!

LM

LouisaMay · #**141** 09-27-2004, 03:19 PM

I'm still a little baffled about the abrupt silence from Little Women, but I have to stop second guessing everything! A few days ago, I received a kind message from a member of LW who has been really helpful throughout my search. I wish SHE was one of the local alums!

Homecoming is quickly approaching, and that is where everything started moving along last year. I was so hopeful and excited then. Now I'm just feeling anxious, confused, and a kind of discouraged. I haven't heard if there will be another Alumnae event like the chapter hosted last year, but maybe I'll just run into some of the members at the game. I can hope!

LM

ms_gwyn · #**142** 09-27-2004, 03:32 PM

LM

Hang in there girl, I know where you are coming from. Everything will work out the way they are supposed to......thats finding your home of course!

blueangel · #**143** 09-27-2004, 05:01 PM

LM,

I feel your frustration, because I'm going through it as well. I've been at this for nearly two years with the same GLO. Everything I've received back has been positive, but it goes silent for months, until I contact them again. Then I get positive responses, but then, nothing again.

I don't understand it either.

Blue Angel

LouisaMay · #**144** 10-01-2004, 08:00 PM

When I sent my contact info to the collegiate chapter, I used a valid campus address, but the card was returned to me as undeliverable. Finding that cute little purple envelope in my mailbox was like a slap in the face.

I'm not sure what to do now...

LM

sageofages · #**145** 10-01-2004, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LouisaMay
When I sent my contact info to the collegiate chapter, I used a valid campus address, but the card was returned to me as undeliverable. Finding that cute little purple envelope in my mailbox was like a slap in the face.

I'm not sure what to do now...

LM

Call the campus and VERIFY the address they have on record for the group and then resend it. Persistence pays off

Good luck!

LouisaMay · #**146** 04-08-2005, 02:49 PM

Hi, everybody!
I'm just really feeling down about the end of my AI search. This is something that meant SO MUCH to me. I still read the AI board all the time, and I am cheering every AI-hopeful on as she makes her quest. I called it quits because I'm now a mom-to-be, and I actually feel REALLY guilty for even wishing that I could go on with my pursuit. I feel like, by continuing, I'm saying that being a Mom isn't fulfilling enough. But I can't erase the desire I have to give of myself to an organization that supports the development, education, and ambitions of young women. But will I have anything left to give once the baby comes? Do I even have the right to give time to a GLO that should be given to my family? Ahhh...as you can see, this has been difficult.

I was so sad when all contact seemed to come to an end between me and "Little Women." Things had been going so well...then nothing. But I accepted that some paths come to an end (and in the back of my mind, I thought that the trail might warm up in time). Long before I officially embarked upon the AI journey, I had made a list of organizations that fit my personal ideals, and I am sure that these groups, like Little Women, have something that makes them uniquely special. Now, even if I did decide to stay in the game and look into these groups, would a GLO even want me...a new mother?

Oh well...I guess I'm just venting. I can't help that a little jealousy came through when I saw several women finding their homes. I remember coming into college with this wonderful image of Greek Life, and even as a newbie, I knew that the aspect of sorority life that would mean the most to me was the lifelong commitment and the far-reaching bonds. I was never in it, primarily, for the college experience, and now, I feel like I won't have a chance at any experience at all.

Okay...I'm done whining!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LM

P.S. As far as I know, the "Little Women" alumnae group still has my contact info, letter of interest, etc. There just hasn't been any forward motion in a long, LONG time. Despite the quiet, there is still so much to love about this organization, and I guess that is part of my disappointment right now.

WCUgirl · #**147** 04-08-2005, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LouisaMay
I called it quits because I'm now a mom-to-be, and I actually feel REALLY guilty for even wishing that I could go on with my pursuit. I feel like, by continuing, I'm saying that being a Mom isn't fulfilling enough. But I can't erase the desire I have to give of myself to an organization that supports the development, education, and ambitions of young women. But will I have anything left to give once the baby comes? Do I even have the right to give time to a GLO that should be given to my family? Ahhh...as you can see, this has been difficult.

You shouldn't worry about feeling that way at all! It has nothing to do w/ whether being a mother is "fulfilling" -- it has to do w/ you finding your own circle of friends and a place for you to go when you need "you time."

We have several women in our alumnae group who have just had babies that still attend everything they can. Some alumnae groups even have special interest groups for mothers, such as "Mom & Tot" events.

lake · #**148** 04-08-2005, 03:31 PM

My heart goes out to you, LouisaMay, but promise us you won't give up! Someone with your drive and desire has too much to offer a group. You sound like an awesome person.

There are AIs on this board who have children and have still been matched to a group. Having a child doesn't automatically exclude you...just take the next several months to re-group and adjust to your new life, then when you find your groove you will know how to proceed again. I have seen many NPC alum groups that have activities for new moms or moms with babies/toddlers. Perhaps that could be a way to meet members and pursue AI again, and fulfill that need for "adult" time and companionship!

It took me a total of nearly five years to finally be asked to be a member of my new home. In that five years' time, for various personal reasons, I wasn't always able to pursue AI consistently, but when I was, I pursued it with gusto, and now I'm home.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #**149** 04-08-2005, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AXiD670
You shouldn't worry about feeling that way at all! It has nothing to do w/ whether being a mother is "fulfilling" -- it has to do w/ you finding your own circle of friends and a place for you to go when you need "you time."

We have several women in our alumnae group who have just had babies that still attend everything they can. Some alumnae groups even have special interest groups for mothers, such as "Mom & Tot" events.

We have quite a few new babies in our alumnae chapter and our newest AI (a different GC thread) had her 3rd child in January and was pregnant the whole time she was going through.

And we have a mom-n-me group which is VERY popular!

blueangel · #**150** 04-08-2005, 04:50 PM

First, congrat's on your baby to be! How exciting!

Don't give up! From my experience, silence doesn't mean "no".. it just means things are either:

1. moving slowly
2. have fallen through the cracks by accident

What I'm finding out is that AI is a new thing for many GLOs-- and it's not that uncommon for the people in that organization trying to help you to not follow through-- not because they don't intentionally, but because they didn't realize that they missed a step. Or.. they may be waiting for a vote, or for some paperwork. It's hard to know what's going on behind the scenes.

I think that unless you are told "no" outright-- then you need to be pro-active. You need to keep a positive attitude throughout the process-- even though it's VERY difficult at times. AI is an extremely difficult process, and it is a roller coaster with extreme ups and downs.

So many times, I was ready to throw in the towel because it had been MONTHS without hearing anything. But, each time, I either got on the phone or shot another e-mail saying, "Hi, it's me again. Any news?"

Don't forget... the women who are elected officials in these Alumnae Chapters are busy with jobs and their own families as well. They're volunteers... so... things DO slip through the cracks-- unintentionally.

One more piece of advice: try to find someone on Greek Chat who is in the GLO you are pursuing and PM them. Ask them if they can give you some advice. I wonder if in GC we might be able to set up a mentoring PM program?

And-- the time may not be right for you at this moment-- because your whole life is about to change due to the blessed event. But, once things settle down again, you might want to start knocking on the door to the organization you felt so positive about. Just keep reminding yourself, "SILENCE DOES NOT MEAN NO."

Good luck, and again, congratulations!