Rush - What to NOT do or say - Page 10

AChiOhSnap · #**136** 10-15-2005, 02:39 AM

I know it's past formal recruitment for most universities now, but I *have* to relate this story....maybe it can help out the guilty parties in time for deferred recruitment! It's also kind of funny, in retrospect, although I was really kind of creeped out at the time.

When I went through formal rush there was one house that was really "in my face" about how involved and scholarly I was. The girl who was rushing me just went on and on about how she knew about ALL these campus activities I was just SO successful in (I really wasn't all THAT involved) and she introduced me to everyone in her house with "Hi, this is Emily, and it's just so amazing how she does A, B, and C activities and STILL manages find time to get AWESOME grades!!!!" I guess she knew about my grades from my grade release form...maybe? I'm still a little sketched out about how she knew my exact GPA.

On top of that, all the girls in the house were instructed to get really close to the PNMs because the girl talked literally two inches away from my face. I don't have an aloof or cold personality by any means but I definitely kept POINTEDLY backing away from her because I felt my personal space was so violated. Eventually I was backed up right against some furniture and I had nowhere else to go. I was SO uncomfortable that I could barely focus on the conversation, but I guess the girl didn't really catch on. Later on, other PNMs were complaining about how XYZ sorority is the one that "stands WAY too close and talks WAY too loudly." The latest I've heard is that XYZ is STILL taking this closeness approach...a friend who is a few years younger than me went to one of their COB events and mentioned how the girls were practically cuddling with her on their couch and it freaked her out.

Seriously, one time a sister of XYZ bragged about their "awesome" rushing approach and said "Yeah we stand really close to the PNMs so they feel safe and welcomed... kind of like they're an old best friend!"

Bottom line for PNMs and sororities: If you're invading someone's personal space even just a little bit, all they're going to remember about you is that they were uncomfortable when talking with you. So stand arm's length away and keep in mind that you are not a police detective... so don't interrogate!

KDlady04 · #**137** 11-17-2005, 05:46 PM

A lot of things you wouldn't say in a job interview, don't say in rush. Not that rush is a job interview, obviously! lol i just thought of it since I'm at work(I work in the admissions office at our business school).

ADqtPiMel · #**138** 11-18-2005, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZetaHoney13

*If you are a legacy PLEASE don't assume that you have a spot. In my opinion, legacies are an outdated and rather ridiculous reason to keep someone, because if a girl doesn't fit there is no reason we should have to take her in as a sister.

I hope you still feel the same way if your own daughter gets dropped from your sorority.

AChiOhSnap · #**139** 11-18-2005, 01:28 AM

You think this one would be common sense, but judging from an open house we had last week (everyone on campus is invited over for desserts, but a lot of PNMs show up to get to know the sisters better) I should probably reiterate this one.

Please don't swear at a recruitment event.

Especially loudly.

Especially so loudly that everyone turns to stare.

Even if you are saying "YOUR HOUSE IS F-ING SWEET!!!!!!"

No matter how nice the intention, it won't win you brownie points.

CarolinaDG · #**140** 11-18-2005, 08:49 AM

I did. I didn't mean to. But I did.

And for the record, I got cut after that.

(But it wasn't "f" and I can't remember the context, but I think I said "hell")

FreeBecky · #**141** 11-18-2005, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CarolinaDG
What not to say:

"Hold on for a sec, I've got a gnarly booger that I need to pick."

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AChiOhSnap · #**142** 11-18-2005, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CarolinaDG
I did. I didn't mean to. But I did. And for the record, I got cut after that.

(But it wasn't "f" and I can't remember the context, but I think I said "hell")

Aww,

Well, hell isn't really bad! I guess it just depends on the tolerance level of the sister you're talking to.

I'm really not going to pass judgment on her though b/c I swear like a sailor.......I just don't normally drop the f bomb at sorority events.

honeychile · #**143** 11-18-2005, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Alpha Chi Emily
You think this one would be common sense, but judging from an open house we had last week (everyone on campus is invited over for desserts, but a lot of PNMs show up to get to know the sisters better) I should probably reiterate this one.

Please don't swear at a recruitment event.

Especially loudly.

Especially so loudly that everyone turns to stare.

Even if you are saying "YOUR HOUSE IS F-ING SWEET!!!!!!"

No matter how nice the intention, it won't win you brownie points.

In all honesty, a PNM who dropped the F Bomb tore our chapter apart. Enough sisters liked her to give her a bid, but it made things SO tense, we went from the second largest sorority on campus to half its size after Ms. Potty Mouth depledged. Had I to do it all over again, I would have definitely voted FOR the chapter on this one (and against her) - and so would many others I've sinced talked to.

Lesson learned: Never say anything that you wouldn't say in front of an alumna, as one may be standing just behind a door!

ASAlady · #**144** 11-27-2005, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JocelynC
*If you're a legacy and you happen to be released from your legacy group. Do not have your mom/sister/aunt/grandma CALL THE CHAPTER to ARGUE OVER IT. Don't have them visit the chapter house either. That's rude.

*DON'T have them visit the Panhellenic office either. That's stupid because they have NOTHING to do with individual chapter decisions and you'll be wasting their time.

One thing about this is that all sororties have different policies on this. For example, ASA has a specific policy regarding legacies. I don't think legacies are outdated like someone said on this board, but if you are a legacy, you should ask your relative what the policy is. If the sorority does not follow the legacy policy you do have the right to follow through with this.

KSUViolet06 · #**145** 11-28-2005, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ASAlady
If the sorority does not follow the legacy policy you do have the right to follow through with this.

Following up, after recruitment is pretty pointless because arguing with the chapter won't change their decision, and arguing with Panhellenic is REALLY pointless because they have ZERO say in any chapter's selection decisions.

kddani · #**146** 11-28-2005, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ASAlady
One thing about this is that all sororties have different policies on this. For example, ASA has a specific policy regarding legacies. I don't think legacies are outdated like someone said on this board, but if you are a legacy, you should ask your relative what the policy is. If the sorority does not follow the legacy policy you do have the right to follow through with this.

Does ASA's policy specifically say that the legacy and her family have a right to follow up on this if she was cut? Being a legacy in any group does not guarantee membership. Generally it equates with a courtesy invite back to the first invitational round.

Maybe because you're an AI and haven't been through rush as an ungrad chapter member it's harder for you to see. The girl would end up looking like a crybaby. If you're cut, the group obviously didn't want you. Having your relatives bug the chapter is going to make you look like a tool and isn't going to accomplish anything. Membership selection is private ritual in ALL of the NPC groups. Nothing leaves the chapter room, so Auntie Alpha isn't going to be able to find out anything or change anything. And Auntie Alpha has to accept the decisions of her sisters that her darling niece was just not a good fit for the chapter. It doesn't mean she's a horrible person, she just wasn't a good fit.

PenguinTrax · #**147** 11-28-2005, 02:10 PM

Unless you know the legacy policy of every NPC group, you cannot make this blanket statement.

Regardless, if a legacy is cut, there is no fighting it. A group cannot take very legacy out there - this has been discussed MANY times in the Rush forum. I recommend that everyone use the Search function to read up on the topic.

Quote:

Originally posted by JocelynC
NO sorority has a legacy policy that guarantees PNM's a bid, most only require you to keep a legacy up until the 1st round of invite only parties.

honeychile · #**148** 11-28-2005, 02:42 PM

Good work, Barbara!

I know someone who was a triple legacy to a chapter (her grandmother was a FOUNDER!), and was cut after 2nd round. This woman is attractive, intelligent (4.0 in high school), made her debut, and enjoys a great reputation. They felt she hadn't travelled enough, as she had only been to Europe once.

And I'm not talking about one of those mega-rush universities!

On the other hand, we DID have to take a legacy who nobody wanted (including the PNM). I think everyone's heard me talk about her, but briefly, she was a 5-generation legacy, with one being an Adelphean, but she just did not want to be in a sorority. She pledged, got initiated at Convention, and transferred to a college without a greek system.

The only absolute that you can say about Legacy Policies is that there are NO absolutes!

ASAlady · #**149** 11-28-2005, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kddani
Does ASA's policy specifically say that the legacy and her family have a right to follow up on this if she was cut? Being a legacy in any group does not guarantee membership. Generally it equates with a courtesy invite back to the first invitational round.

Maybe because you're an AI and haven't been through rush as an ungrad chapter member it's harder for you to see. The girl would end up looking like a crybaby. If you're cut, the group obviously didn't want you. Having your relatives bug the chapter is going to make you look like a tool and isn't going to accomplish anything. Membership selection is private ritual in ALL of the NPC groups. Nothing leaves the chapter room, so Auntie Alpha isn't going to be able to find out anything or change anything. And Auntie Alpha has to accept the decisions of her sisters that her darling niece was just not a good fit for the chapter. It doesn't mean she's a horrible person, she just wasn't a good fit.

Maybe I don't understand it as well since I am an AI, you are correct. I am not saying the PNM should ask their mom or whoever to call and ask, I know that won't accomplish anything. I was just saying the PNM should ask their relative what the policy is. I know of specific chapters that do not follow through with the policy, sometimes because they don't even know of it.

AlphaFrog · #**150** 11-28-2005, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kddani
Does ASA's policy specifically say that the legacy and her family have a right to follow up on this if she was cut?

It might, you never know.