Should you "pledge" an Auxiliary Group?

[mccoyred]

Originally Posted by Konduktor

That is a good question. I myself pledged to be a Diamond of Kappa Alpha Psi, Fraternity Inc. of Greta' Beta Chapter, and found that the experience was both positive and negative for me. I am Konduktor, 1 Klub, 10/27/98 @ 4:58:55, one in twelve parts. This experience was great, the bond between me and my sisters was wonderful. I was active in meetings, held a position in our RSO:Krucial Diamond Productions, as secretary, which I held and executed with great honor. We strolled, went to a Kappa Sweetheart Konvention, traveled, did community service, held events, had a Kappa Sweetheart Ball & I was appointed Mrs. Achievement, the whole wammy. However, when it came time for me to join a sorority, I was met by feelings that since I was already a Sweetheart, their attempts to "make" me were harder and resulted in the termination of everything because one of us got hurt.

TMI

[ladyFYI]

I am very much interested in this topic and am ALWAYS saddened when I see much of what has been said from both sides of the fence. It seems to be more than a bit absurd to hear sweethearts of any org speaking negatively about sororities; however, the reverse is more common.

It is truly ironic to see ladies in sororities bash sweethearts given the HISTORICAL connections between the two groups going back, for some, to the VERY BEGINNING. It is silly that women who would bash the decision to become a sweetheart then spit the names of women who DID see value in the choice of becoming a part of that group. Odd, don't you think? Those ladies who chose to do both are no less outstanding women of dignity and grace. Unfortunately, information gets lost because some founders and historical figures are better known than others and the history becomes myth, myth becomes whisper, and the whispers eventually disappear. We then have PERSONAL disagreements between individuals that turn into a lack of perspective and historical understanding. Sweethearts who attempt to belittle the joining of sororities are just as ridiculous. That need not be elaborated on. BOTH groups should be ashamed for such behavior.

There is a reason why many sororities have sweetheart songs and references- it is because they have had these connections for decades. Sweethearts were ladies of honor and respect, worthy of becoming the wives and girlfriends of their fraternity counterparts. They were not groupies. Many DID join a sorority afterward and some ladies in sororities found it to be a good way to see just how hard the young lady would work for their own chapters, IF they were so fortunate as to be chosen.

Sadly, many of these standards have changed, but ladies, haven't they for EVERY organization? I hear stories all the time of some young lady in a BGLO disrespecting herself with a fraternity member. Just last month, I was informed that someone saw a stripper that had on DST letters in a club and I almost choked. It's despicable and embarrassing. Although I have my loyalties, it is frustrating to see ladies of ANY sorority participating in less than respectable behavior. It makes the organizations and their members look bad.

Let's face it- there are both sweethearts AND ladies in sororities who are participating in unacceptable behavior. PLENTY of them. That said, there are JUST as many ladies who are upstanding, respectable individuals from both. It is time that we stop looking down on each other and, for those who are both, to take pride in it. As long as you are a woman with the proper values, attitude, and work ethic, there is no reason for sweethearts to shun sorority women, or vice versa. If you are lady of good character and proper morals, THAT is what should matter. Let's stop giving folk a hard time if, but-for that one organization, they are superb candidates...from both ends...

[ladyFYI]

...and it's strange that someone would say that aux orgs do not exist because they are banned. Although I am long out of undergrad, it is clear that they do from those younger folk who talk about them. The fact that they are not acknowledged is poor logic if you had a process because that too is banned. Such a statement would suggest that one's process did not exist either. Or maybe it didn't. It's 2010, after all. Can't we all just get along?! :-)

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by ladyFYI

...and it's strange that someone would say that aux orgs do not exist because they are banned. Although I am long out of undergrad, it is clear that they do from those younger folk who talk about them. The fact that they are not acknowledged is poor logic if you had a process because that too is banned. Such a statement would suggest that one's process did not exist either. Or maybe it didn't. It's 2010, after all. Can't we all just get along?! :-)

If you don't hush.

[Fatal1913]

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

If you don't hush.

LOL. I was wondering if that post was worth reading.... I guess now

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by ladyFYI

...and it's strange that someone would say that aux orgs do not exist because they are banned. Although I am long out of undergrad, it is clear that they do from those younger folk who talk about them. The fact that they are not acknowledged is poor logic if you had a process because that too is banned. Such a statement would suggest that one's process did not exist either. Or maybe it didn't. It's 2010, after all. Can't we all just get along?! :-)

Let me start by saying I WAS an Omega Pearl. And yes when I attended undergrad, sweethearts were not groupies and if fact many did become members of the D4.

But it is obvious from your response, that you are way out of the loop with today's collegiate scene. All of the frats, except for Iota have banned collegiate auxs. And there are reasons for it. Many of these groups attempt to get around it by forming their own infrastructure and claiming autonomy from the frat. But come on, do you really believe that Kappa Diamonds, or Sigma Doves exist solely for their own benefit?

Lastly, your sentence about banned processes makes no sense to me. Perhaps you can expound.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Let me start by saying I WAS an Omega Pearl. And yes when I attended undergrad, sweethearts were not groupies and in fact many did become members of the D4.

Yeah.

But, there are still BGLOers from the 1950s-1960s who had negative perceptions of male and female sweethearts and advised their family members to never become one for a number of reasons. I guess that's another campus-by-campus variation.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ladyFYI

...however, the reverse is more common.

LOL.

Word to the wise: There are many things that aren't important unless you insist on making it important.

Originally Posted by ladyFYI

It is truly ironic to see ladies in sororities bash sweethearts given the HISTORICAL connections between the two groups going back, for some, to the VERY BEGINNING.

LOL.

[ladyFYI]

DrPhil:
I do agree- things are only important if you give them weight. Things have been shared with me recently about some undergraduate ladies from a few sororities (read: two), who have had an issue with a few other young ladies who were in an aux org. They were upstanding individuals, so it really shouldn’t have been important, but it was made to be…we lose quality women that way and they go elsewhere. That is a sad thing…

…and yes, from the very beginning is correct. The truth is, we all want to believe that we have been told all that there is to know. While fraternities get caught up in how “hard” their processes were, we get caught up in knowing EVERYTHING there is, when we can’t. I do not claim to know everything, or even most things- I strive for new knowledge about life, not just in the greek world, daily. That said, if there is one thing I know- the connection was from the beginning. Most folk aren’t going to know that, so I don’t blame the skepticism. Some were just better known than others.


Ladygreek:
You said that you were an Omega Pearl. That’s remarkable that you put that comment in past tense. If you had some kind of process with those men, they must have entrusted to you some valuable and private information. Although I have no immediate allegiance to that org, it saddens me that you would throw away such a connection.

I understand the feeling that, should you have become a member of a D9 org, you have ascended to “greater” things. Truly, I do. But the idea that you would pledge something and then disown something else is a red flag. I would be nervous to share information with any young lady who was so willing to throw any process away. All I could ask myself is: would she do that with my org?

And, you’re right, I am not in undergrad anymore, but I have plenty of family and mentees that are. I am well informed that aux orgs have been banned. I understand why. With the onset of pledging, girls are a liability because they can be hurt. Many fraternities would not be able to recover from such a lawsuit. That said, they do still exist and operate on a regular basis on campuses across this country. That is clear, or this post wouldn’t exist…to respond to your final statement, of course the aux orgs aren’t autonomous. They were never meant to be. It just seemed irrational to say that something doesn’t exist because it is banned. I’m sure some of us can think of a variety of things that people do that aren’t allowed, but are still done…jaywalking maybe? ☺

[BluPhire]

Originally Posted by ladyFYI

Ladygreek:
You said that you were an Omega Pearl. That’s remarkable that you put that comment in past tense. If you had some kind of process with those men, they must have entrusted to you some valuable and private information. Although I have no immediate allegiance to that org, it saddens me that you would throw away such a connection.

I understand the feeling that, should you have become a member of a D9 org, you have ascended to “greater” things. Truly, I do. But the idea that you would pledge something and then disown something else is a red flag. I would be nervous to share information with any young lady who was so willing to throw any process away. All I could ask myself is: would she do that with my org?

And, you’re right, I am not in undergrad anymore, but I have plenty of family and mentees that are. I am well informed that aux orgs have been banned. I understand why. With the onset of pledging, girls are a liability because they can be hurt. Many fraternities would not be able to recover from such a lawsuit. That said, they do still exist and operate on a regular basis on campuses across this country. That is clear, or this post wouldn’t exist…to respond to your final statement, of course the aux orgs aren’t autonomous. They were never meant to be. It just seemed irrational to say that something doesn’t exist because it is banned. I’m sure some of us can think of a variety of things that people do that aren’t allowed, but are still done…jaywalking maybe? ☺

LOL. If I had a dollar for every Dove that claimed to hip me to some knowledge they learned about the frat because they were aux I would have two dollars.

Sorry but I can understand why Ladygreek refers to it in the past tense, because it is the past. Look I respect every Dove that comes to me, and I keep in contact with a Dove I made that is now an AKA. (Yeah I know, but I'm older and wiser now and learned my lesson from that experience.)Yet at the end of the day you don't exist. Maybe in the past (because I'm a late 90's frat) these auxiliaries had some pull..maybe. The reality is though you are on the same level as the social club that filled out a req and is recognized on the school campus. You don't have real knowledge. You know what we want you to know and even that can be found on the internet. Anything deeper than that believe me you don't really want other frat to know that you know this.

Here is a rule you need to learn quick. The greek world is very small. Just take my word for it, don't learn it the hard way. Be happy in your social club-dom and don't stray outside your circle.

[ladyFYI]

Originally Posted by BluPhire

LOL. If I had a dollar for every Dove that claimed to hip me to some knowledge they learned about the frat because they were aux I would have two dollars.

Sorry but I can understand why Ladygreek refers to it in the past tense, because it is the past. Look I respect every Dove that comes to me, and I keep in contact with a Dove I made that is now an AKA. (Yeah I know, but I'm older and wiser now and learned my lesson from that experience.)Yet at the end of the day you don't exist. Maybe in the past (because I'm a late 90's frat) these auxiliaries had some pull..maybe. The reality is though you are on the same level as the social club that filled out a req and is recognized on the school campus. You don't have real knowledge. You know what we want you to know and even that can be found on the internet. Anything deeper than that believe me you don't really want other frat to know that you know this.

Here is a rule you need to learn quick. The greek world is very small. Just take my word for it, don't learn it the hard way. Be happy in your social club-dom and don't stray outside your circle.

Sigh. Maybe you didn't read my posting. You made two assumptions: 1) that I'm aux. and 2) that I'm not greek. Poor assumptions. Is seems hard to believe that a non-aux person would defend aux people, huh? I do. I do it out of respect for history. I don't sing those songs for nothing. I don't do the research for nothing. I don't talk to my elders for nothing. That's why I feel like all greek ladies could stand to give them a break...and it seems the men could too.

I recognize and understand the plight of young ladies who deserve a bit more credit and respect IF they've earned it through their service, superior moral aptitude, and willingness to work. I think it's unfortunate when folk start characterizing and labeling without first getting to know a young lady- that's what I don't like. I don't generally characterize entire other orgs like some of the younger folk do. I see younger folk take their personal issues into the voting room ALL the time and it makes me sick. "aux girls are this or that." Stereotyping D9 orgs is not for me either, even when some people make it very easy to do. I don't understand why we all can't be better than that. It's not classy at all- poor form, as my great greats would say.

I actually know Sigmas who would disagree with you, along with Kappas and Ques (I really don't know any Iotas...they're a bit too new, I think). I know that there were quite a few young ladies running around with some valuable information in the 90s and, from what I understand, still are today. Every chapter is different, however. Chapters change with time as well. I just like to see hard-working ladies get the respect they deserve, whatever they've decided to join. That's why I'll defend those who may not want or be able to defend themselves without being told that they "don't exist." They deserve the same respect I give to anyone else's org (if they're doing the right thing) as I was taught. Respect, s'all.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ladyFYI

Sigh. Maybe you didn't read my posting.

Make your posts shorter, clearer and more concise. You are longwinded for a boring topic.

There are other threads on this board. If you are in a (B)GLO and aren't someone's sockpuppet, I welcome you to participate in other threads. Your username seems to mean that you thought you were coming here (or creating a new username) to inform and educate about auxs--that's beyond hilarious.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ladyFYI

(I really don't know any Iotas...they're a bit too new, I think).

I made the mistake of skimming the rest of her post and

They are so "too new" that they were probably founded before you were born and probably accepted into the NPHC longer than you've been a...what are you, again?

Iota is the only NPHC frat that still formally acknowledges their sweethearts and, for the most part, haven't reduced them to (insert aux stereotype).

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ladyFYI

Ladygreek:
You said that you were an Omega Pearl. That’s remarkable that you put that comment in past tense.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by ladyFYI

Ladygreek:
You said that you were an Omega Pearl. That’s remarkable that you put that comment in past tense. If you had some kind of process with those men, they must have entrusted to you some valuable and private information. Although I have no immediate allegiance to that org, it saddens me that you would throw away such a connection.

I understand the feeling that, should you have become a member of a D9 org, you have ascended to “greater” things. Truly, I do. But the idea that you would pledge something and then disown something else is a red flag. I would be nervous to share information with any young lady who was so willing to throw any process away. All I could ask myself is: would she do that with my org?

And, you’re right, I am not in undergrad anymore, but I have plenty of family and mentees that are. I am well informed that aux orgs have been banned. I understand why. With the onset of pledging, girls are a liability because they can be hurt. Many fraternities would not be able to recover from such a lawsuit. That said, they do still exist and operate on a regular basis on campuses across this country. That is clear, or this post wouldn’t exist…to respond to your final statement, of course the aux orgs aren’t autonomous. They were never meant to be. It just seemed irrational to say that something doesn’t exist because it is banned. I’m sure some of us can think of a variety of things that people do that aren’t allowed, but are still done…jaywalking maybe? ☺

And that is my point. I DID NOT pledge Omega Pearl, nor was I entrusted with any sacred information. My process consisted of a couple of bruhs asking me and a few of my friends if we wanted to be Omega Pearls. We said yes, had a cute little ceremony and received sweatshirts. In fact I never had to call an Omega big brother until I was a Pyramid - LOL. And once I did pledge a LIFETIME COMMITMENT to Delta, that is where all of my time and energy went.

Whether I had pledged a sorority or not, it was not expected that you would remain a Que Pearl outside of college. It was strictly another social outlet while on campus. Otherwise that would like saying you are still a member of your dorm social group.