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  #1  
Old 01-04-2004, 02:58 AM
AlethiaSi AlethiaSi is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: freakin' out
Posts: 1,728
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Quote:
Originally posted by justamom
My son just had a NASTY breakup a month ago...
I'll tell you the same thing I told him.

When someone says they love you, they should bring out the best in you. She knows your goals, she should support them, not try to test you or make you choose. She should be the one who
makes you happy and proud of your endeavors. It is important to find someone who sees in you all you can be JUST AS you see in her all she can be. True love allows that to grow. If you spend your time fighting over studies or interests, you are circumventing growth and eventually, success in life. Love brings out the BEST you can be, NOT causes you to become stagnant. Love is reciprocal. You must feel her needs are as important as yours and then support her as you know she should support you. ****Forty years from now, as you look across the breakfast table, you must see your best friend, because sex can't keep it together.
True love is not freely given in the form of a one night stand (or two). True love grows with time.


Yes, I DO talk this way.
****This is what my husband said to me before we married.


wow.... that is great advice- you are a good mom and i definately will write that down for later- i knew i was saving my heart for some reason! thank you
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  #2  
Old 01-04-2004, 04:31 AM
sororitygirl2 sororitygirl2 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,406
I am a pretty darn good girlfriend! Here's my opinion...

While you do need to give of yourself in a relationship, I think it's so important as a girlfriend to remember not to completely sacrifice your happiness in order to make him happy. Every guy I have ever dated has admired and respected the fact that I have my own interests and life, even though it may mean that I don't spend twenty-four hours a day hanging out with him/baking him cookies/cleaning his place. After all, he needs guy time and I need girl time too!

The one most important characteristic for a girl to be a good girlfriend is confidence. If you are confident and know what you want, you can be that chill, laid-back girl that most guys want to get. You won't constantly be worried that he is cheating, and you won't constantly be nagging him to tell you that you are beautiful, because in your heart, you already know you are.

If you are confident, you won't spend your time doing nice things to ensure that he thinks you are the best and won't leave you, of so you can use it for collateral in an argument later ("but I did everything for you"), you'll do it because you love him and really mean it. And that way, it means so much more to him.

I've just learned this based off my experience and observations of others, and since forming this opinion, I've found it to be very true. Because if a guy doesn't want a confident woman, he is not looking for an equal partnership - he just wants to be in control all the time - which is NOT okay to me. I'm a big fan of compromise.

And, of course, I still do all the other important things for the boy...

- Cook dinner/bake cookies/bring a six-pack over
- Tell him how handsome and intelligent he is... often
- Rub his back - without expecting him to in return
- Surprise him with gifts - big and small
- Drop by his work with breakfast
- Not pressure him about marriage/the future
- Offer to take him out sometimes
- Pick up a round of drinks for the boys when we're all out
- Eat like a real person instead of just picking at mixed greens when we go out to dinner
- Take care of him when he is sick
- Fold laundry just the way he likes it
- Do the dishes that have been in his sink for days
- Secretly pay a parking ticket he leaves laying on his counter
- Wear a black lace garter from time to time
- Have lazy days together and not complain that you're not accomplishing anything by being in bed until noon - you're bonding!
- Behave like a lady in public (especially in front of his family - charm the hell out of them), and if I have something contrary to say and I know it's going to become an issue/fight, DO IT IN PRIVATE! It's so tacky to pick a fight in public...
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  #3  
Old 01-08-2004, 02:15 PM
cashmoney cashmoney is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: $outh Beach
Posts: 4,231
Quote:
Originally posted by sororitygirl2
I am a pretty darn good girlfriend! Here's my opinion...

While you do need to give of yourself in a relationship, I think it's so important as a girlfriend to remember not to completely sacrifice your happiness in order to make him happy. Every guy I have ever dated has admired and respected the fact that I have my own interests and life, even though it may mean that I don't spend twenty-four hours a day hanging out with him/baking him cookies/cleaning his place. After all, he needs guy time and I need girl time too!

The one most important characteristic for a girl to be a good girlfriend is confidence. If you are confident and know what you want, you can be that chill, laid-back girl that most guys want to get. You won't constantly be worried that he is cheating, and you won't constantly be nagging him to tell you that you are beautiful, because in your heart, you already know you are.

If you are confident, you won't spend your time doing nice things to ensure that he thinks you are the best and won't leave you, of so you can use it for collateral in an argument later ("but I did everything for you"), you'll do it because you love him and really mean it. And that way, it means so much more to him.

I've just learned this based off my experience and observations of others, and since forming this opinion, I've found it to be very true. Because if a guy doesn't want a confident woman, he is not looking for an equal partnership - he just wants to be in control all the time - which is NOT okay to me. I'm a big fan of compromise.

And, of course, I still do all the other important things for the boy...

- Cook dinner/bake cookies/bring a six-pack over
- Tell him how handsome and intelligent he is... often
- Rub his back - without expecting him to in return
- Surprise him with gifts - big and small
- Drop by his work with breakfast
- Not pressure him about marriage/the future
- Offer to take him out sometimes
- Pick up a round of drinks for the boys when we're all out
- Eat like a real person instead of just picking at mixed greens when we go out to dinner
- Take care of him when he is sick
- Fold laundry just the way he likes it
- Do the dishes that have been in his sink for days
- Secretly pay a parking ticket he leaves laying on his counter
- Wear a black lace garter from time to time
- Have lazy days together and not complain that you're not accomplishing anything by being in bed until noon - you're bonding!
- Behave like a lady in public (especially in front of his family - charm the hell out of them), and if I have something contrary to say and I know it's going to become an issue/fight, DO IT IN PRIVATE! It's so tacky to pick a fight in public...






Niiiiice!
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  #4  
Old 08-01-2005, 11:19 PM
James James is offline
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Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: NY
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