Why you didn't make it into a sorority.

[DZTUBAGIRL]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
Re: People who rush over and over and over again--don't they eventually get the hint?

I think unfortunately some don't. There is a girl at my school that has been through formal recruitment I think 2 times. She also goes to most of the informal parties for most of the sororities. She has not gotten a bid so far. She is a nice girl but very strange. She is a very outgoing person but she doesn't know what not to say. She talks to a stranger like she would talk to her best friend, ie. too much information. It was really sad last formal recruitment because we have a "rush the hill" where all the sororities gather at one dorm and the new members run to meet us. Well she was on one of the floors crying. I felt so bad for her but she just keeps puting her self through it. Maybe by some grace of god she will find a home but I just don't know if it will happen after all this time.

[AXOKatie]

It's so awkward because obviously no one is going to TELL the person that they should stop rushing...and i think it varies, because i know girls who went through recruitment, didn't get a bid and then tried again and went where they wanted because they had experience and knew how to play the game better (game = conversation, making friends in each house, etc.).

i don't know if i could ever be like "Uhhhh, you probably don't want to rush again..."

[LoveMyKeyKKG]

Re: People who rush over and over and over again--don't they eventually get the hint?

I hate to hear statements like this because I know a wonderful girl who rushed formally three times, COB'd at two houses and interviewed for a new colony before finding her home.

Freshman year she really didn't know much about rush. (This was pre-Internet people!) She didn't have anyone write recs for her. Her brother's girlfriend told her that she was perfect and wouldn't have to worry one bit about getting her choice of houses. She was also told that as an ABC legacy, she would definitely be at the top of their list. Didn't happen. She did well with most of her top choices until being cut from all but one before pref - the one house where she just did not feel comfortable.

Later that fall, she interviewed for a new colony but was not invited even to their pref party. That spring she was asked to COB with two sororities - again no invites to pref.

Sophomore year she rushed again thinking she would have a better chance now that she had friends in some of the sororities. Unfortunately, although she was at the top of her class in high school, her freshman year grades hurt her going through rush again. This year she was cut from ALL houses right before pref.

In the middle of that year she ended up transferring to another school because her first school did not have the program she wanted and she wanted to closer to home as well. That's when I first met her and thought she was great. I was astounded that she was not already in a sorority because I thought she was definitely Greek material. She fit right in with my close group of friends which included girls from the top houses on campus.

I brought it up with her to see if she was going to rush in the fall and that's when she told me all of her crazy history with rush. Against much protest I convinced her to go through again. This time she had her grades up and had secured multiple recs for almost all houses. Although she didn't get her top choices - groups that take almost exclusively freshman - she did end up in a group that she fell in love with on the very first round of parties.

She was a huge asset to her sorority and they even begged her to stay longer and delay graduation so that she could hold office. I think it is a tragedy that she would have been deprived of this experience and that the girls in that chapter would not have been able to know her if she had just "got the hint."

[Taualumna]

Re: The girl who gave to much info: It's unfortunate, but some people are like that, especially if they're nervous and worried that there's nothing to talk about. I sometimes have the habit of doing that!!!

[DZTUBAGIRL]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Re: The girl who gave to much info: It's unfortunate, but some people are like that, especially if they're nervous and worried that there's nothing to talk about. I sometimes have the habit of doing that!!!

I'm not saying that is the reason why she can't get a bid. I am just saying that no one is going to give a bid to someone that talks about having gas and stuff like that. I can understand someone being outgoing but that is just rediculous. Sorry if this sounds mean but that's the way I feel.

[Little E]

You'd be suprised at what people will say...especially drunk. A local at my school has flat out told women that they'll never get a bid and not to bother aymore. It creates some ackwardness...but they do it. Some women get the hint, some still don't. I also think it is pretty presumptive to tell someone that they'll NEVER get a bid. mixes change, and especially in small chapters, it can be the difference...

[Symbal]

I went through formal once, got cut the night before pref, and was not invited to any sisterhoods during COB. It stings very much, even now. This thread, in the very beginning, damn near made me give up my greek hopes. I would like to rush again in the fall (Spring Recruitment wasn't an option for me), but I will be living in my own apartment, and credit wise I will be a junior. I will be here another three years because I am not yet accepted into my major's main program. I'm afraid that the sororities will see my 'junior' status and completely shut me down because of it. It's a likely possibility.

This thread is certainly dampening to a PNM's spirit.

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by Symbal

I went through formal once, got cut the night before pref, and was not invited to any sisterhoods during COB. It stings very much, even now. This thread, in the very beginning, damn near made me give up my greek hopes. I would like to rush again in the fall (Spring Recruitment wasn't an option for me), but I will be living in my own apartment, and credit wise I will be a junior. I will be here another three years because I am not yet accepted into my major's main program. I'm afraid that the sororities will see my 'junior' status and completely shut me down because of it. It's a likely possibility.

This thread is certainly dampening to a PNM's spirit.

The good part about your next three years is that you'll have an opportunity to explain your unique academic situation to your recruiters. The reason they usually go for freshmen and sophomores is for that three year window. Now you have it. You're not going anywhere anytime soon. I think you should try again.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by Symbal

I went through formal once, got cut the night before pref, and was not invited to any sisterhoods during COB. It stings very much, even now. This thread, in the very beginning, damn near made me give up my greek hopes. I would like to rush again in the fall (Spring Recruitment wasn't an option for me), but I will be living in my own apartment, and credit wise I will be a junior. I will be here another three years because I am not yet accepted into my major's main program. I'm afraid that the sororities will see my 'junior' status and completely shut me down because of it. It's a likely possibility.

This thread is certainly dampening to a PNM's spirit.

I understand that a lot of the discussion in this thread is a total downer to a PNM, but a lot of it is true. This thread was created to serve as a reality check for PNMs with really unrealistic expectations (e.g. the beauty queens with 4.0s who can't understand why no sorority would want them despite their nasty personalities, or the tatted up biker chick PNM rushing at a traditional southern campus, etc.) A lot of what's discussed here is really just common sense....

Don't let a thread on an internet message board cloud your opinion on Greek life. None of us know your school. It's up to you to sort through all the advice and opinions on Greek chat and decide for yourself what's applicable to your situation. If you're rushing as a junior at a traditional Greek system where 99% of the PNMs are freshmen, you're not going to be placed. If you're rushing as a junior at a very laid back school with a small and very open Greek system then you might have a better shot, and there are all sorts of schools that are in between. This thread is not meant to be all encompassing for every situation -- some women are able to relate to some of these stories and this information is completely irrelevant for others. Take a brutally honest look at your situation and decide for yourself.

[Drolefille]

^^You're so good at talks like that

[LionTamer]

Agree: Not being remembered is probably the #1 reason, followed by a conflict with a current sister. We also worried that shy girls would not enjoy our tendency to be chatty and boisterous.

I was heavily cut, but it was my own fault. I rushed as a sophomore (the norm) and had made the mistake of running around with one of the wildest boys on campus freshman year. I wasn't wild, but was cut by the sororities of all the girls he had dated and by those who found his behavior horrifying. Still painful, even though I knew why I had been cut.

(Two years later I made the mistake of hooking up with him one more time. We left the club separately, and thought no one noticed. Next morning my best girlfriend called & yelled at me because she had heard about it in the ChiO bathroom. Called another friend, who chewed me out because she had heard about it in the TriDelt bathroom. Forget the ASAs - they just gave me that "what a disappointment" head shake at lunch. Thought I'd be safe at dinner with the studious, non-clubbing KKGs, and one asked if that wasn't Mr. Player I had been dancing with last night. That's when I realized that at 35,000+ students, Penn State was way too small a school.)

[als463]

As a Penn State Student in the Greek System myself-I must agree...Penn State is way too small a school after a while...don't worry about it, though....

[Jill1228]

Sometimes, perserverance is the key:

Fall seven times, stand up eight. ~Japanese Proverb

Originally posted by Munchkin03
Re: People who rush over and over and over again--don't they eventually get the hint?

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by LionTamer
(Two years later I made the mistake of hooking up with him one more time. We left the club separately, and thought no one noticed. Next morning my best girlfriend called & yelled at me because she had heard about it in the ChiO bathroom. Called another friend, who chewed me out because she had heard about it in the TriDelt bathroom. Forget the ASAs - they just gave me that "what a disappointment" head shake at lunch. Thought I'd be safe at dinner with the studious, non-clubbing KKGs, and one asked if that wasn't Mr. Player I had been dancing with last night. That's when I realized that at 35,000+ students, Penn State was way too small a school.)

That's kind of sad that these people had nothing better to talk about than your business.

I know why I didn't make it in the fall of my freshman year- I was a completely snobby brat! When I tried to rush in the spring I noticed that the sororities already knew who they wanted, and it wasn't me.

So here's a tip to PNMs: Cocky, snobby brats will get cut!