Do you.... - Page 2

AZpinkkittie · #1 07-16-2003, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lunarwolf
Finally, gay people have great, tight knit clubs and support groups. They don't really need to join a sorority.

Maybe that's why they want to join a sorority. Just because they are always hanging out with other gay people, doesn't mean that's all they like. That can get kinda boring. Perhaps they want to meet people who they get along with and don't share that aspect of their lives. I have a lot of gay friends and sometimes they get sick of being thought of as only that, gay. There is more to a person than their sexuality, and joining a sorority would be perfect for expressing that. They could socialize and have a good time without spending it listening to others cry about the injustices of being who they are (I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm actually using the sentiments of some of my friends who spend a lot of time at the gay/lesbian center in town). I'm down for hanging with whoever makes you happy, and if that means joining a sorority, where you might be the token homosexual, than go for it.

Little E · #2 07-16-2003, 09:42 AM

I think it is fine for gay women to pledge. We have two women who are out right now and it hasn't hurt our numbers or anything. Besides, women who are turned off of a house because one woman is gay are closed minded and will, in my opinion, cause other issues for the house. The sister who wasn't happy w/two open sisters created problems w/ other sisters on more that one occasion. (Closed minded comments mostly) As a chapter we have an unoffical general sentiment not to promote interhouse dating, but would never stop two sisters from doing so.

KappaKittyCat · #3 07-16-2003, 09:55 AM

A few years ago on my campus we had several openly gay women rush. They were all mysteriously cut from one chapter after first round. This same chapter had another woman mysteriously resign after coming out later that year. Hmm...

I've had (that I know of) three openly gay chapter sisters and two openly bi ones. There hasn't been an issue, and it wouldn't cause me to look differently at a PNM.

AXOKatie · #4 07-16-2003, 10:08 AM

The issue of openly gay sisters has come up in discussion among my friends who are greek but not on my campus...on my campus, it has never been a big deal whether or not a PNM or sister was gay or bi or even straight! as far as i'm concerned, i approach the discussion of anyone's sexual orientation with acceptance and an open mind...i know that on other campuses that might not be as liberal as my own, i would find it even more interesting to talk to a PNM about her experience because of the struggles that she might face as an openly gay college woman...those struggles can add aspects of character that can be very valuable to the sisterhood on a conservative campus, as you know that that PNM is willing to stand up for what she believes in

with regards to mysterious cuts, every situation is different. perhaps the PNM or sister during the party had opposing views on issues in addition to sexual orientation, maybe the PNM became defensive or belligerent about her stance or maybe the PNM just wasn't nice! we can never know what goes on behind chapter doors that aren't our own, so i think it's best to keep an open mind, not only about the views of PNMs but the decisions of sisters

Nhfulmer · #5 07-16-2003, 10:48 AM

I am sure every chapter has had at least one gay person whether they knew it or not. However, when that person is a PNM, it is totally different. The chapter has the right to vote as they see fit. If they prefer not to issue a bid to a gay person, they should be allowed to "cut" her/him. Remember, this entire Greek thing is based on the right to choose members. On some campuses, it would be the kiss of death for the chapter. On others, no one would think a thing of it. It is the chapter's right to choose as they see fit and based on whatever criteria they choose. Since nothing that is said in a discussion session is to leave the room, how would anyone know for sure?

shadokat · #6 07-16-2003, 11:29 AM

I don't think it's any of our business what their sexual preference is, and if they choose to disclose it, fine, but it isn't going to change my mind one way or another on a sister. That's PERSONAL CHOICE!

I know at Penn they have some openly gay men in fraternities who are PERFECTLY HAPPY with their situations. The guys all love them, and it's cool. I don't know if there was ever an openly gay woman in my chapter, but I'm sure there was someone hiding in the closet. Out of all those girls over the last 10 years, I can't imagine not having one!

Lunarwolf · #7 07-16-2003, 12:18 PM

AZpinkkittie, you have a good point, and one that I never really considered. Like many people, I figure it's not really my business what orientation people have, and if my friends are gay, I just accept it because they're more than that. I hadn't really thought they'd ever get tired of hanging with their groups- I figured if they wanted a break from the woe-is-me syndrome, they could hang out with other friends they have.

That said, joining a sorority is a great experience, but I can imagine it's difficult at most colleges if you're openly gay as a PNM. NYU is as accepting as you can get, but I know some groups would look at any openly gay PNM askance and wonder why she was there. It's not that they'd be descriminatory, it would just be seen as odd. *shrugs* All I know is, if my former traveling advisor had gotten wind of a gay PNM, the shit would hit the fan...and she was a representative of HQ. (Happily, though, she is no longer with AST, thank god.) Rather discouraging, now that I think about it.

shadokat · #8 07-16-2003, 02:50 PM

What groups at NYU would do this???

Quote:

Originally posted by Lunarwolf

That said, joining a sorority is a great experience, but I can imagine it's difficult at most colleges if you're openly gay as a PNM. NYU is as accepting as you can get, but I know some groups would look at any openly gay PNM askance and wonder why she was there. It's not that they'd be descriminatory, it would just be seen as odd. *shrugs* All I know is, if my former traveling advisor had gotten wind of a gay PNM, the shit would hit the fan...and she was a representative of HQ. (Happily, though, she is no longer with AST, thank god.) Rather discouraging, now that I think about it.

sueali · #9 07-16-2003, 02:52 PM

We had a gay sister come out, and we were basically fine with it, but other chapters on campus gave us s**t for it.

Nhfulmer · #10 07-16-2003, 02:58 PM

I went home for lunch and was telling my husband about this thread. He reminded me that the chapter he advises pledged a gay last spring. Apparently the boy was openly gay but that was not common knowledge. If any of the brothers knew it, they didn't speak up during discussion sessions. When it became known within the chapter, there was such an uproar and rift among the brothers that the boy was asked to leave the chapter. He was not blackballed but he would have been had he not voluntarily quit. The brothers felt extremely uncomfortable having him around and since he openly dated, they were terrified that he would show up at the formal with a "date". If they had known during recruitment, he would never have gotten a bid.

Cloud9 · #11 07-16-2003, 03:06 PM

Um, actually, I'm an NYU student and I don't agree with the statement that groups at NYU would have a problem, I know at least that my sorority wouldn't care. I also know that there were rumors that another sorority had a pretty large amount of gay women, some of whom dated eachother, but as far as I know nobody cared. NYU just has too many people to really care or know that much about greek life anyways, so worries about reputation wouldn't really matter. I think maybe some of the fraternities might have caused problems about it, some of them have members that were a bit on the machismo side. At any rate, it's a ridiculous attitude to have towards potential members anyway on a campus where the first question you ask about a cute guy (or girl) you're interested in is whether he's straight(and the answer is often no)!

***Edited to add: Our advisor was also a huge idiot, so I'm not surprised that she would have thrown a fit about something like that***

DZHBrown · #12 07-16-2003, 03:50 PM

When I was in school, I we never had anyone come out as gay or bi, so I can't speak from personal experience. I can see where some people would be kind of uncomfortable with it and I can see where some people would be fine with it. I do know that a few years before I pledged, there was a sorority on campus that had a couple of openly gay sisters and it wasn't great for their rep. I don't mean I agree with it or anything, but it was well known and people still talked about it when I was there.

adpishan · #13 07-16-2003, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sistermadly
Just because a woman is a lesbian, it doesn't mean she wants to hump your leg just 'cause you have two X chromosomes.

I know it's back in the thread some, but what a quote!!!!

trisigmaAtl · #14 07-16-2003, 08:37 PM

one of the sororities on my campus has several gay members, it has never affected anything. They remain one of the STRONGEST chapters on campus and no one is ever judged. It's not like one of the questions you ask during rush is: "so are you gay?" and a pnm is not very likely to just casually say: "well, I'm gay" without it coming up naturally or unless she had some serious concerns. So if a gay woman went through rush I don't think anyone would know or care on my campus. Two of the lesbian sisters did date each other for three years though, it got kind of difficult when they broke up and were both still actives! I don't think any real problems were caused though. if I were a lesbian greek I would just make a point never to date a sister, it's like dating in the work place, just not a good idea. My fave fraternity also has 3 or 4 openly gay brothers, no one cares and I LOVE those boys! alot of times they make better girl friends than my girl friends!!!!

Aquastar · #15 07-16-2003, 08:56 PM

hummm ... well i guess i was out when i was a PNM ... not that it ever came up as a topic of conversation ... so i dunno who knew or not ... my sisters dont seem to mind ... they LOVE my girlfriend (who happens to be a sorority girl and on gc somewhere) ... and if they have a problem ... no one has mentioned it to me yet ... oh ... and i dont hit on my sisters

But i think it does hurt you chances in some sororities/fraternities ... but then again ... if they had given you a bid ... would you want to be in a group that would have droped you if they had known you date people of the same sex?