Whimsical Society: What exactly is conformity?

[Eli]

Throughout our lives we are taught to conform to the ideas and the whimsical ways of society. What exactly is that standard of society? Is the standard that which the media or a magazine tells us is true? What constitutes change?

I feel it is best to set a standard for ourselves. One which we can obtain and with which we will be happy. Why should a person constantly worry about how they present themselevs? (Of course, I strongly feel that people should have self-dignification, and present themselves in a way becoming to their family's (or for that matter GLO's) reputation.

I guess in a sense, I am asking everyone, "Why is being different a bad thing?" Is it because people fear and thus resent things that don't fit into the everchanging "norm?"

Just something to think about.
Easy E

[This message has been edited by Eli (edited September 02, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Eli (edited September 02, 2000).]

[etienneSAI]

great topic!

i believe that being different rocks people's boat. it makes people uncomfortable when something in thier lives is disturbed in any way. for example, if you're surrounded in a room of people in business suits and ties and YOU'RE in a business suit and tie, when all of a sudden someone comes in with a tye-dye dress on and sandals, you're going to feel uncomfortable. i think that in this case, people would think "what do other people think about ME with this person in the room?"

sometimes, i like deliberately being different to piss people off and see how they react. although, if one strives to be different, in the society that we live in, isn't greek life the ultimate in conformity??

etienne
sigma alpha iota

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"red is the color of music and has been since the very earliest of times. the caps of faeries and musicians are well-nigh always red."~*~w.b.yeats

"I think that happiness is when you can let yourself feel every emotion you want at any time instead of being a lying little fuck." - Tori Amos

[33girl]

This is one of the things I LOVE about my chapter - we confounded all the stereotypes of sororities. We weren't all gorgeous, or rich, or the most popular. I am so proud of the amount of people that said to me, "Before I met you guys, I hated sororities!" We opened a lot of people's eyes up to the real meaning of Greek life - sisterhood and friendship, and a bond between fiercely independent women who still can come together and celebrate the differences between us.

I don't think I would have ever joined a "Suzy Sorority" type of chapter. If anything, having the support of my sisters made me LESS conforming, and I felt freer to be myself.

[mwedzi]

What an interesting topic. Being the anthro graduate I had to comment. I know ZChiforlife will be in here soon, too.

I often ponder conformity. We are so thoroughly enmeshed in it, that we are hardly capable of realizing the full extent to which we conform in everyday life. The fact that you might eat some things with a fork when hands are easier, the idea that certain colors "go" together, every sentence we say, the fact that almost all women shave their bodies and put on face paint (oops, I mean "make-up"). Almost everything we do is affected by the society we live in, though biologists must certainly have a different perspective, and they are winning me over a little.

Anyway, I therefore find it hypocritical that people say fraternities and sororities are conformist (which of course, they are, to the same extent as the rest of the world) and then go and conform to a thousand little things we have been taught to do from birth. Even the ways we express our "differences" have an element of conformity to them.

But enough with the lecture; I'm sure you see.

[mgdzkm433]

Maybe it's because I grew up with strict parents, but I believe in the rule "there's a time and place for everything." With the example of a room full of suits and someone comes in wearing tye dye and sandles, that to me is obviously not the time nor place for that type of garb. I do, however, believe that expressing one's self is important and that we DO need for people to recognize us as a person and not just another suit, number, sorority girl/fraternity guy, etc etc. Obviously I have two contradicting statements right? Well, not really. We CAN conform to the TYPE of dress in this situation because it's appropriate (suit), yet we can add our personality to the appropriate dress by adding accessories, color of suit, scarf, tie, hair style, shoes, nail color, and the list goes on. Remember--we want to stand out in a GOOD way, not scare people! As a woman in the work place, I realize now that it's important that my boss remembers my face. The next time he looks through reports, he will associate my face with my name by remembering something about me. "oh yeah, I remember her, she's the one that wore that stunning red scarf with her suit in last weeks meeting. She really did a good job on this report, I'll have to call her and congratulate her." I conformed to the dress code, but I added my own sense of style. THIS is good. In an everyday setting, at home, at the store, in my car or where ever, I could care less what people think about me. I'll wear boxers and a shirt with holes in it to the store if I feel like it, or I'll wear my senior prom dress. I love to be myself completely, but there are times where we have to make some sacrifices and conform, even if it's just a little bit. It's just part of life

[tickledpink]

I think society accepts nonconformity when you can sell it the right way. Nowadays, diversity is in (if you can prove that you're not just crazy and there's a method to your madness). This is especially true in corporate america. If someone does something out of the norm there, goes against an established rule, or disagrees with a particular policy, they are called rebellious (and in some cases by next week --unemployed). Now let Mr. or Mrs. VP walk into the room, state the same objection with a nice little proposal speech about productivity and cost effectiveness -- then it's called "thinking outside of the box" and everyone accepts it. Money talks. If we were in a business meeting and someone with the tye dyed outfit walked in, everyone would be uncomfortable. But if the CEO came in wearing tye dye with a big promotional "hype" about "setting a new trend" for the company and a nice "mission objective/ statement" to go along with it --- 75% of the company would be at the mall looking for a tye dye outfit to wear tommorrow.

I'm personally conservative, but I love being around diverse groups of people so that I can learn from their experiences (and that was before "diversity" was the in thing).

Eli, I really liked this topic!

[This message has been edited by tickledpink (edited October 06, 2000).]

[Dionysus]

The "nose ring" thread in the RUSH forum reminded me of this.

conformity-"blending" into your environment and not making waves.

I find both extreme conformity and NON-conformity annoying. What's more important is to do what YOU believe in. Don't do something just because everyone else is doing it NOR just because no one is doing it for the sole purpose of being "different". Also, while it's good to be true to yourself, I think it's also good to have the ability to be flexible and adjust, sometimes you have "be" someone you're not in order to get ahead...like at the job.

[FuzzieAlum]

I'm not sure it's possible to set your own standard or do your own thing. We don't live in vacuums. Every decision you make is made against a backdrop of knowing what your parents think, what your friends think, what is shown on television, if your boss will look at you funny ... even if you say, "I don't care," you're still aware of it in making your decision.

If you're "not conforming," you're conforming just as much as a conformist. Go to a goth club some weekend in a plaid shirt and baseball cap and see what happens! And after you get out of the hospital, don't try it again.

In truth, clothes don't reveal anything about who you are - unless you are homeless and only get dumpster rags. They reveal who you are TRYING to project at that moment. You're trying to be professional at a job interview or a hippie at a Phish concert. Who you are is not your clothes; it's your personality and how you treat other people. Nothing about my integrity is compromised by conforming in terms of dress, unless it has a slogan on it contrary to my beliefs.

I'm not saying no individuality is possible. But non-conformity is only valuable when the dominant paradigm is harmful and ought to be challenged. If you have foot pain and can't wear high heels, for goodness sake don't. If you don't like Nike's labor practices, buy Adidas. But in everything else, buying a little conformity opens so many more doors to you. Save your statements for real statements, not for the clothes you wear and the music you buy.

[Kevin]

You can't verbally greet everyone that you meet.. So what does that for you? What tells you what kind of person you are? Nonverbal communication.

Our clothing sends out nonverbal signals about who we are, our socioeconomic status, etc.

For example: You just listened to a presentation about the "state of the company". You turn and look at the fella doing it. He's wearing sweatpants, red suspenders, a half-tucked in shirt and a blazed orange hunting hat... Do you think to yourself "Wow, what an individual! I admire him for making a statement!". Hell no you don't.

[FuzzieAlum]

I swear I saw a guy in that exact outfit (with a snowy white beard) at the airport!

[Attractive#7]

I feel as though this is a great topic, from obviously a very deep person. I feel as though you should not have to conform to society and in all things be true to yourself. You have to be mindful that you represent more than yourself...your family, your organization, your church, hometown, etc, so you want to represent that with dignity; however, not at the cost of not being true to who you are.

[Kevin]

Originally posted by Attractive#7
I feel as though this is a great topic, from obviously a very deep person. I feel as though you should not have to conform to society and in all things be true to yourself. You have to be mindful that you represent more than yourself...your family, your organization, your church, hometown, etc, so you want to represent that with dignity; however, not at the cost of not being true to who you are.

What exactly would "being true to yourself" consist of? Getting a toungue ring? Piercings? I'm not really sure I follow this line of thought. Even if you do that you're just conforming to another type of culture, consuming from another industry. What individualism is attained through that?

As Americans we get off on the wrong track with individualism. We think that we can purchase it with the right clothes, the right music, the right look, etc..

What the hell?

I don't think that any two people would agree on the definition of being an individual.. Before you can have a meaningful discussion on something like that you must at the very least agree on what you're talking about.

[Attractive#7]

being true to urself...there comes a point in your life when you realize that you cant live for others...you cant live out ur parents dreams nor the dreams of your teachers or peers. being true to yourself is about realizing what you want and need out of life. for example...i'm majoring in africana studies because i can relate to it and out of 3 yrs of college, it's the only thing i have deemed as the truth and the only thing that i can see myself in for the rest of my life. i get a lot of opposition from people who dont understand it; however, i know that that is where i belong so i can't "conform" to be what others want or need me to be. another example, i'm wearing my hair natural b/c i'm learning to love me for me and i get a lot of opposition from those who don't understand, but i can no longer conform to society and wear my hair permed b/c it's just not for me. To me that's being true to yourself.

[James]

LOL its a three year old thread . .. is Eli still around?