Rush - What to NOT do or say

[trideltrockstar]

I definitely agree with not bashing other sororities. EVEN the one that is considered (aka: stereotyped) as fat/ugly/etc. This puts the rusher in a very awkward situation - what do you say when a PNM says something like "Oh yeah I love your house. God, I just came from XYZ - what fatties! I definitely am going to be cutting them blah blah blah"? I would hope people would use more discretion.

Also, my sisters would not want a PNM that bashed others so openly. I have friends in every sorority, as do many girls on my campus. I would hate to have a sister talk trash about sororities that my friends were in.

[KatieKD]

To add on to that: don't be nice to someone just because they're in the sorority that you like. For example, I had girls in other sororities tell me that they would sometimes find themselves in this awkward situation: a PNM would be kindof rude or not so nice, but they'd find out that they were in XYZ and the PNMs would all of a sudden be dripping with sweetness and the'd say things like "Ohh you're in XYZ?? I LOVE XYZ!" It's great that you like us and everything, but we want people that are nice and considerate to everyone around them. It just looks bad to only be nice to someone because they're in the sorority you want and be snotty to everyone else. Don't do that!

[sbelle223]

DO NOT COMPLAIN!!!! This is one of my bigest pet peeves ever! We know its hot/cold outside, we know that you're tired (believe it or not, so are we), we know your feet hurt, we know that you're stressed and worried and nervous etc., we know that you're tired of being asked all the same questions (we're tired of asking but we have to inorder to get to know you better)... If you come into the house and all you do is complain we're going to get the impression from you that you're a very negative and unhappy person. Stay positive and upbeat and excited and we'll be able to get a much better impression of who you are as a person and we'll like you alot more and you'll have a better shot of being invited back. No one likes a complainer.

Don't wear black to prefs ceremony...Everyone wears black to prefs ceremony, so why not be different and stand out from the crowd?!

Don't feel like you are obligated to join the sorority you are a legacy to! I'm a legacy to a sorority on campus and knew from the start that they were not the group for me....There was nothing wrong with them, it just didnt click. I kept the sorority for 3 days out of respect for my mom but ultimately droped them because I knew I belonged somewhere else. Don't let your mom/grandmother/sister's sorority be your choice just because they were in XYZ too. Choose the one that fits best for you. They'll understand, trust me.

[33girl]

Originally posted by sbelle223
Don't wear black to prefs ceremony...Everyone wears black to prefs ceremony, so why not be different and stand out from the crowd?!

I agree with this. On the other hand, if the dress that is your favorite and that you feel the prettiest and most confident in happens to be black, don't NOT wear it just because it's black, unless the rush booklet says black is prohibited for rushees.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by sbelle223
DO NOT COMPLAIN!!!! This is one of my bigest pet peeves ever! We know its hot/cold outside, we know that you're tired (believe it or not, so are we), we know your feet hurt, we know that you're stressed and worried and nervous etc., we know that you're tired of being asked all the same questions (we're tired of asking but we have to inorder to get to know you better)... If you come into the house and all you do is complain we're going to get the impression from you that you're a very negative and unhappy person. Stay positive and upbeat and excited and we'll be able to get a much better impression of who you are as a person and we'll like you alot more and you'll have a better shot of being invited back. No one likes a complainer.

I agree so much with this. Across the board, big school rush, small school, competitive, non competitive, whatever the situation- NOBODY wants to hear someone complaining. Even if you aren't a negative person, complaining will make you look that way.

[OhioCentaur]

how long is a typical "rush" process??

[I_Love_Penguins]

Originally posted by OhioCentaur
how long is a typical "rush" process??

At my campus, spring rush was a week long. I'm not sure about how we do fall rush. I'm assuming same length. I would think this is a campus to campus factor though. I would say our school definitely didn't do as extensive of rush as some other schools do judging by what I've heard on here.

Anyway, I figured I'd contribute with my tips on what not to do or say during rush:

I agree with those who have already said don't ever utter the words "When I am a sister at XYZ I will...." I never did this to my memory, but my friend went through rush with me and she talked about the sorority banquet and getting her letters as if she had already been in. She was even convinced that someone who asked her to add her as a friend on Myspace was a member of the sorority she wanted. I looked at the profile and disagreed, but she pretty much ignored my advice saying that she thinks this girl might've been in her top choice sorority and that the add on Myspace was a way of looking into her. I think this killed her. She got way too hyper about the whole thing, then didn't get a bid and ended up upset.

So overall, I'd say...DON'T act like you are guaranteed an in to the sorority no matter how much you click with the girls and don't take every little thing during rush so seriously. You'll end up let down, in my opinion.

The other tip I have comes from a mistake I made during rush that may have hurt me. (I cannot prove that it did; I am just saying it's possible.) On my way back from opens and informals, I said some bad things about the sororities I didn't click with. The girls weren't mean but I did say some things about how I feel like I didn't fit in with ABC and LMN as I was leaving parties. I wish I hadn't opened my mouth while walking back to my room, LOL. I admit I made a mistake...I wish I had waited until I was back in the privacy of my room on the phone or something to give off my impressions instead of opening my mouth on the way back from parties.

Lastly, no matter how much you don't click with a sorority, stay polite. I noticed at our open round that there was a girl in my group who wasn't smiling and looked miserable. I was pretty shocked. I met a sorority I didn't click with but I still did my very best to pay attention to the girl speaking to me and participate in the icebreakers without looking so unhappy. It's really rude when you look like you can't wait to leave the party. Just grin and bear it!

[adpiucf]

Keep your nose clean on the internet-- don't join any groups on MySpace, Facebook, LJ, etc., that would portray your character as questionable. Same goes for your language and wording on message boards and blogs. In the summer before recruitment, you may not have communication with the sorority women at your university regarding recruitment.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Keep your nose clean on the internet-- don't join any groups on MySpace, Facebook, LJ, etc., that would portray your character as questionable. Same goes for your language and wording on message boards and blogs. In the summer before recruitment, you may not have communication with the sorority women at your university regarding recruitment.

TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN.

Also, pictures. Remove the questionable ones, or make your MySpace private for the month up to Recruitment...especially if you're at a competitive school. Plus, alumnae are becoming more websavvy than we have in the past, and it's not really hard to drudge stuff up.

[KSUViolet06]

Do not put anything on your Facebook/MySpace that you wouldn't want sorority members to see/read.

Whatever you put out there is public knowledge, and anyone can see it.

There was a girl in fall 2006 recruitment who wrote a MySpace blog about the sororities on campus saying that "most of them are for losers and ______ is the only sorority I want to join."

Some sorority members found it and passed it on to their friends in other sororities. This girl ended up being cut from all sororities after 3rd round because of it.

So I would refrain from putting anything out there that might affect your recruitment.

[OhioCentaur]

Originally posted by I_Love_Penguins
At my campus, spring rush was a week long. I'm not sure about how we do fall rush. I'm assuming same length. I would think this is a campus to campus factor though. I would say our school definitely didn't do as extensive of rush as some other schools do judging by what I've heard on here.

Anyway, I figured I'd contribute with my tips on what not to do or say during rush:

I agree with those who have already said don't ever utter the words "When I am a sister at XYZ I will...." I never did this to my memory, but my friend went through rush with me and she talked about the sorority banquet and getting her letters as if she had already been in. She was even convinced that someone who asked her to add her as a friend on Myspace was a member of the sorority she wanted. I looked at the profile and disagreed, but she pretty much ignored my advice saying that she thinks this girl might've been in her top choice sorority and that the add on Myspace was a way of looking into her. I think this killed her. She got way too hyper about the whole thing, then didn't get a bid and ended up upset.

So overall, I'd say...DON'T act like you are guaranteed an in to the sorority no matter how much you click with the girls and don't take every little thing during rush so seriously. You'll end up let down, in my opinion.

The other tip I have comes from a mistake I made during rush that may have hurt me. (I cannot prove that it did; I am just saying it's possible.) On my way back from opens and informals, I said some bad things about the sororities I didn't click with. The girls weren't mean but I did say some things about how I feel like I didn't fit in with ABC and LMN as I was leaving parties. I wish I hadn't opened my mouth while walking back to my room, LOL. I admit I made a mistake...I wish I had waited until I was back in the privacy of my room on the phone or something to give off my impressions instead of opening my mouth on the way back from parties.

Lastly, no matter how much you don't click with a sorority, stay polite. I noticed at our open round that there was a girl in my group who wasn't smiling and looked miserable. I was pretty shocked. I met a sorority I didn't click with but I still did my very best to pay attention to the girl speaking to me and participate in the icebreakers without looking so unhappy. It's really rude when you look like you can't wait to leave the party. Just grin and bear it!

LOL... i'm sorry i wasnt asking for real thats just something i know i've heard asked by people trying to become delts and they were turned away lol.

[kchaptergphib]

At Minnesota, we as sorority members were ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED to discuss those famous B's:
Bible (religion)
Booze (drugs of any kind)
Bank (how much/little money your family has)
Bed (sexual habits)
Bush (politics)
Bash (dirty rushing/dissing other sororities)

If topics like this were brought up, we were to skirt the issue, refer them to their Rho Alpha, and change the subject. If we were caught breaking the rules, we could get recruitment infractions from fines to not getting to participate in events like homecoming!

Obviously, this made recruitment conversation pretty PG, but hopefully it wasn't uncomfortable for the PNM's and we all presented ourselves well.

[denimeans]

Originally Posted by kchaptergphib

At Minnesota, we as sorority members were ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED to discuss those famous B's:
Bible (religion)
Booze (drugs of any kind)
Bank (how much/little money your family has)
Bed (sexual habits)
Bush (politics)
Bash (dirty rushing/dissing other sororities)

We are actually supposed to (subtly) ask them about money to make sure they can pay, as do most chapters on campus

We live by SAM
Support- do their parents, boyfriend, siblings etc. like/hate the idea?
Academics/Activities-Is this girl already involved? We want campus leaders. Does she study? Skip class?
Money- Does she have a job? Scholarships? Is she already struggling to pay for school?

Money is flat out the #1 reason why girls drop....and our dues are only about $500 a year.

Point being there's a reason to ask/tell about money. If you can't pay your bills before rush, how are you going to be able to handle them and a sorority.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by denimeans

We are actually supposed to (subtly) ask them about money to make sure they can pay, as do most chapters on campus

I'm really glad we were all required to hand out financial info brochures during recruitment so we never had to try and figure out if they could afford it. If a girl coudnt afford it, she dropped out of recruitment.

[denimeans]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I'm really glad we were all required to hand out financial info brochures during recruitment so we never had to try and figure out if they could afford it. If a girl coudnt afford it, she dropped out of recruitment.

We do do that too, but most girls don't just drop out of recruitment. You still have to kind of read them to find out if they can pay....most girls stay in recruitment even when they're not quite sure how they're going to pay for it.