Sisterfriend. I am sorry that you are dealing with this. We all wish that our first time is one that is special. As another sisterfriend stated, just chalk it up to experience. It is obvious that this BOY has problems that go beyond you. Don't continue to feed into it by associating with him further. He is harrassig you because misery loves company. If his harrassment continues, go to someone professional that can help you or perhaps seek your RA. She may be able to help you with this issue. Go to the police if neccesary. Remember you are a student first and you are there to learn. No one should undermine that. Go seek counseling. It is important that you speak to someone about your experience and deal with your feelings. In many instances situations like the one you are in can dictate how we think we are to be treated giving us a distorted view on what true intimacy is.
The fact that this BOY is in a fraternal organization I believe bears no consquence. He is a human being first. No matter what people say or think, conduct yourself as a lady at all times. Do things in decency and in order. Of course there will be talk but your actions fom this point will determine whether the 'campus conversations' are positive toward you or him.
Most importantly you must PRAY FOR GUIDANCE AND DIRECTION. I have given you a variety if suggestions but the one that is key is putting GOD first in this and in every situation. He can help to clear your mind and heart of all negativity and provide you with the solution best suited for you. Good luck my sister.
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Originally posted by Innocence22
Hello Ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha,
I have a bit of a dilemma that I would like to share and hopefully get some advice about. I have been dating this guy who happens to be in a certain "fraternity" for the past 6 1/2 months. We recently became intimate (me, for the first time) and now he's being manipulative towards me. This is in part because he always wants to have sex and I don't. It was a mistake that it happened to begin with, but that's another story. Anyway, he has gotten really mean. He tries to embarrrass me in front of his frat brothers. He even went as far as to tell them in front of me that I was an "undercover freak" and that if they wanted to they could have me too. And to top this off, his frat and the AKA's had a cookout, he drank too much and called me out my name. He even pushed me. I was so embarrassed that I left. One of the AKA's (who I became close with) told me that he's like this and that it was inevitable that I would find out that he's an ass. My problem is, I have tried to distance myself from him by ignoring his phone calls to my room, and cell phone but he won't leave me alone. He tells me he loves me and he needs me and that "if he can't have me no one else will". <-that scared me. But I don't know...he was my first and I can't imagine being with someone else. Ladies please help. I know that it would be wise to leave but it's NOT that simple. The more I ignore him, the more vindictive he gets. What do you think about this situation, what should I do. I can't tell my parents because they still think I'm a virgin...my mom would trip big time. What do yall think about this, what should I do?
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But I guess it's for the best. Thanks
Hybrid Mode
