I've been lurking for awhile but decided to share my daughter's recruitment story because I've enjoyed reading everyone else's! Bid Day was yesterday so the whole story won't be broken up into different parts (I read the sticky)!
She attends a large university and there are 9 sororities. This year rush was a hybrid format with the first two days being virtual (House Tours, Sisterhood Day) and the next three days all in-person (Philanthropy, Pref and Bid Night). She wanted to join a sorority because she's an extrovert and she thought it would be a great way to meet people, and to always have something to do with someone, but she's not the typical sorority girl (if there is such a thing!). As I describe her rush experience, I'm going to include (almost verbatim) the texts she sent me about each house to give you more insight into her emotions and her thinking as she went through recruitment. I combined some of her texts to make it easier to read, and I opted to summarize my responses to her.
My daughters were all huge One Direction fans and I've taken them to a number of concerts over the years so I'm going to give the sororities names of the band members based on what my daughter and her older friends at the university have told me.
Harry Styles - Known on campus as being the "woke hipster" sorority. Girls are very laid back, easy-going, they study hard, they're well-liked on campus. They're known for being fun, edgy and artsy. Sometimes they're not as involved on campus in traditional greek activities because they're too edgy, which can be a positive or a negative, depending on the individual and what they want out of greek life.
Zayn Malik - They have lots of clout on campus, and all the girls are very beautiful and polished. Their instagram is perfect and they try really hard to keep their image up. Really involved on campus.
Liam Payne - Similar to Zayn but more bubbly with more energy. Not as image-conscious as Zayn. Also really involved on campus, and the girls are known for always being down to doing something fun. A few are known for being pretty wild and crazy. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Almost always guaranteed a great time though.
Niall Horan - They are also edgy/artsy and seem to have a lot of fun. They're well-liked on campus and have a strong sisterhood.
Louie Tomlinson - They're a mixed bunch of girls. Most are very sweet, but some try too hard to maintain a perfect image. They also seem to have a strong sisterhood.
I don't know much about the other 4 sororities so there are really no descriptions for those, and I'll explain why I don't know much about them later, but keeping with the One Direction theme, I've given them all names of the backup band.
Josh Devine (drums)
Dan Richards (lead guitar)
Jon Shone (keyboards)
Sandy Beales (bass guitar)
Day 1 - HOUSE TOURS (virtual)
During registration, my daughter had to upload a short video introducing herself and had to pick from a variety of questions to answer.
The girls also had to log in and watch house tour videos on this day. Some of them looked professionally filmed and edited (care to guess which house looked the most polished??) Some of the videos looked very awkward. One house described the actual house and the furniture inside! Most of the videos showed the girls at their various events, having fun, dancing, studying, etc. Some were set to music, others had more talking. Some were a mix.
The video for
Niall Horan was especially amazing! It was one of the ones set to music, and my daughter said it was all anyone could talk about after the first round. It really showcased the girls just being real and having fun with each other and it made you want to be a part of that. She said it looked like they just took a bunch of videos the girls had taken over the year and edited it all together to music.
The video for
Zayn Malik was similar but it just looked like they tried too hard with it. It had drone footage, and it was too perfect and looked completely set up. Girls (mostly blonde) were wearing tons of makeup, their outfits were perfect, and not a single blemish on any of the girls featured, and in one of the scenes, you could see the shadow of the male videographer who was filming. It all seemed fake because it was too perfect, like a professionaly shot music video.
It seemed a little unfair that the girls had to pick based on just the videos without having any conversations with any of the girls and vice versa, not even zoom conversations. Some girls got cut just based on their video! It was brutal!
At the end of the day, she ranked them (not in any particular order):
1.
Harry Styles
1.
Zayn Malik
1.
Liam Payne
1.
Niall Horan
1.
Louie Tomlinson
1.
Josh Devine
1. Dan Richards
2. Jon Shone
3. Sandy Beales
DAY 2 - SISTERHOOD DAY (virtual)
My daughter logged in to get her schedule and found out she got
Harry Styles Zayn Malik Liam Payne Niall Horan Louie Tomlinson Josh Devine and
Dan Richards back. She didn't get dropped from a single house!
She logged into her zoom sessions and talked to a few girls at every house for 20 minutes at each house. We didn't talk much at the end of this day so I don't have many details. It was a long day and she had a lot of homework to do afterwards because it was Sunday. She did say her first house was
Harry Styles and the girl she talked to was a sophomore and she told her she was really nervous because not only was it her first rush as an active, but she also only did virtual rush last year. Everything was online including bid day so she was anxious about the whole recruitment process coming up because it was all brand new to her.
I'd just like to add that I feel so bad for the Class of 2020. These kids missed out on so much! In high school, many of them had their graduations and their proms cancelled, and when they started college, it was mostly online! Some colleges shut down their entire campuses including their dorms so these kids had to start college (and pay for it!) while still living at home. No orientation events, no welcome to campus events. My heart breaks for all of them!
My daughter also told me she didn't want to hide her personality so she was cracking jokes and just having a good time. At the end of the day when she was comparing notes with her roommate and other friends from her dorm, they were all surprised at some of the things she had talked about and said, "OMG, you actually said that?" But she said she didn't want them to think she was this polished typical sorority girl and wanted them to get to know the real her. She didn't talk about anything that was off-limits or anything, but she talked to them like any new person she meets and she wanted them to get to know the real her and not some fake version of herself that was trying to fit in to what she thought they were looking for.
At the end of the day, she ranked them (again, not in any particular order):
1.
Harry Styles
1.
Zayn Malik
1.
Liam Payne
1.
Niall Horan
1.
Louie Tomlinson
2.
Josh Devine
3. Dan Richards
DAY 3 - PHILANTHROPY DAY (in-person)
This was the first in-person day so my daughter met her RC for the first time and found out her schedule:
Harry Styles Zayn Malik Liam Payne Niall Horan Louie Tomlinson!
She was invited back to her top 5! So far so good!
It was another long day and I didn't talk to her much about all the houses, but she said one of the girls from
Liam Payne that she had talked to during the zoom day wanted to meet her in person so she pulled some strings to talk to her again. She was a fourth year and an executive at the house, so that sounded promising! She texted me
"They love me, I think. I really like them. I liked Harry Styles too but they're so real but more chill. Liam Payne is real but more fun and upbeat, and Harry Styles is less sorority but more too cool." I should mention that from what she had heard from her older friends who are in sororities at her college, she went into recruitment not wanting to like
Liam Payne. But after meeting them she had to admit she really liked them a lot. I'm proud of her for making up her own mind and not listening to someone else's opinion, because at the end of the day, only her own opinion matters.
She said she never vibed with the girls in
Louie Tomlinson so we didn't really talk about them in depth. It didn't help that she already knew some of the girls in
Louie Tomlinson (the ones who were badmouthing
Liam Payne) and said it would be awkward to be in the same house as them.
She called me after going to
Zayn Malik's and told me she was planning on dropping them because they all wear a ton of makeup and she only wears mascara and lip gloss. She was worried about having to change for them and being forced to wear makeup all the time. My daughter is pretty down to earth as it is, so I had a feeling that
Zayn would be the one she'd drop. During college visits, one of the things she wanted to see was whether the girls were wearing a ton of makeup and were they dressed up just to go to class. She wanted a college where all the girls were wearing sweats with their hair up in a bun like they all just rolled out of bed to go to class.
Her last house of the day was
Niall Horan and on the way there she texted me that she hoped she wouldn’t like them because she had already made her decision about preffing
Harry Styles and
Liam Payne (not in that order - she had no idea which one she liked better at this point). I told her it would be great if she liked
Niall Horan because if she didn't get
Harry Styles or
Liam Payne back, she wouldn't be disappointed. So she went with an open mind and texted me when it was all done.
She texted "
I have no idea what I want to do. I really like Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Harry Styles. Niall gave me better vibes, less scary than Harry but more dorky. But they're kind of annoying, silly and weird. But they were more casual and real. Harry was casual and chill, but they're all very close to each other. I'm less intimidated by Niall but I'll probably get really annoyed by some of them later. Will I be annoyed at how Liam Payne is a top sorority? They're over the top, but I can turn on my personality like that easier than turning it more down and chill like Harry Styles."
Ultimately she decided on ranking them (top 2 not in order):
1.
Harry Styles
1. Liam Payne
2. Niall Horan
3.
Zayn Malik
4.
Louie Tomlinson
DAY 4 - PREFERENCE DAY (in-person)
When she got her schedule she found out she got back
Harry Styles and Liam Payne! She was having a perfect rush so far!
In the end, she was glad she picked
Harry over
Niall. After thinking about it, she decided their sillyness would eventually get on her nerves, even though after being around
Zayn Malik the girls at
Niall's were a welcome breath of fresh air at the time.
Before she visited the houses, she texted me (after lying awake thinking about it all night apparently!)
"I think I only liked Liam Payne because they're very affirming like oh myyyy I am sooo glad we got to talk! I absolutely adore you! You remind me so much of my sisters here! So I was like yeah I fit in! But when would I ever be all like oh yeah my sisters are my life so strong and I literally don't know what I would do without these queens in my life. But Harry Styles is more like thrifty trendy but when I talked to them it felt like a real conversation like outside of rush. Liam Payne felt like a real conversation but the substance wasn't really there. But at Harry Styles I didn't make as good of conversation and I'll probably get dropped because I got weird girls and didn't say anything that interested them and everyone loves Harry Styles. I also think it would be fun to be in the same one as my friends, because if it's just me, I can't turn it on as much with all that sorority stuff and girly girl mumbo jumbo that annoys me. But if I'm with my friends, I can be myself more."
I thought she was pretty in-tune to her feelings and what she wanted and didn't want. So I told her to trust her gut instincts for the rest of rush.
She first went to
Liam Payne, which was the fun, upbeat house. It was the first party of the day for them too so they were really enthusiastic. It was overwhelming for my daughter who had no idea about the chanting and the singing and the crying! She texted me afterwards saying
"Liam Payne was insane like I feel like I just am not that. Like I want that close bond but every girl was crying and screaming and they all sang this song and so many chants. They did a door chant, but like as a joke, but they were crazy!!" One of the girls she had met previously wrote her a sweet note too, but she couldn't appreciate it in the moment because she was like a deer caught in the headlights the whole time! She also said they were crying and giving speeches to each other like they were getting married. I feel bad, like I should've warned her about all the singing and chanting and the crying, and the emotional speeches. She was totally caught off-guard! She said all her friends loved
Liam Payne's energy
"like the whole chanting and crying and I was like looking around like uhhhhh what is happening" When they left
Liam Payne's house,
"everyone was like oh my god and I was like right??? that was nuts but they were like no, oh my god that was amazing i loved it. [One of my friends] was like uh oh, you seem hesitant and I was like no no I feel good." But she didn't know what to make of any of it!
She had a long break and then she went to
Harry Styles. She was more prepared this time for the singing and the chanting and the crying, but she said it wasn't as over the top like it was at
Liam Payne's. I think it was because she went to
Liam's for party 1, so the girls were probably really hyped up, and then she went to
Harry Styles for party 4, so the girls there were probably all tired and cried out by this point.
Right before she had to log in and make her choice for bid night, she was completely torn! She texted
"I really don't know! The girls in Liam Payne all have big personalities and Harry Styles is more stylish/chill, and I feel like I'm not either of those." So I told her those were generalizations and there are girls who are like that in both houses. I told her she should pick the house where she felt like she had made the most connections. She said then that would be
Liam Payne then. At
Harry Styles, the girls didn't cry while talking to her like they did at
Liam's. No one wrote her a special note, she talked to a different girl every day, unlike
Liam where girls would seek her out to talk to her again.
I reminded her that at this point, the decision could be out of her hands. Depending on what the houses decided, she could pick one, and end up in the other. Somehow I got the feeling she would actually prefer that! She just didn't know what to do! I should mention she's an Enneagram 7, if you believe in that sort of thing. She's a classic 7 and can't make up her mind between chocolate, vanilla and strawberry because she thinks she's going to miss out on something fantastic no matter what flavor she picks! Picking colleges was just as agonizing for her! We had to visit some campuses 3-4 times for her to decide!
But she called us later that night to let us know she had ranked them:
1.
Liam Payne
2.
Harry Styles
She also told us she'd be happy with either one no matter what.
DAY 5 - BID NIGHT
This was probably the longest 24 hours of her life! After what happened after Pref Night when she was completely unprepared, I felt like I should warn her about Bid Night! She texted
"We're supposed to run home. Like what does that mean?" I was dying laughing. I sent her some youtube videos I found of what Bid Night is like so she would be ready.
After texting me all day long saying she was worried she wouldn't get a bid from either
Harry Styles or
Liam Payne, I texted her info about RFM and she kept asking me if I was sure she'd get a bid. I told her she'd get a phone call if she didn't. After dinner (and no phone call!) she finally went down with her friends to get her envelope. Her friends had all decided not to tell each other which sorority they had picked, but most of them had a combination of
Harry,
Liam and
Zayn. My daughter was mostly worried they would all get a different house than her, especially if she got
Harry Styles. If all her friends ended up in
Harry Styles or
Zayn Malik, she would be fine being in
Liam Payne by herself, but not if they were all in
Liam Payne and she was the only one in
Harry Styles.
So they counted down, and she opened her envelope...
LIAM PAYNE!!
And happily, all of her friends also got
Liam Payne or
Zayn Malik. Only one friend she didn't really know that well got
Harry Styles so she was relieved she got
Liam. In the end, I think she made the right choice. I think the trendy style of
Harry Styles really attracted her, but when I look at her and all her friends growing up, she would have been out of place there. She's not as wild and crazy as the girls who stand out in
Liam Payne, but as an enneagram 7, she's the happiest when there's something fun and new to experience. Plus I'm confident she'll find that not every single girl in
Liam Payne has a big personality and she will find girls who are more like her. Obviously, they saw something in her they all liked!
And she absolutely loves her pledge class! There are lots of girls she sort of knew already in addition to the friends from her dorms. Plus lots of friends of friends of friends. It seems all of the girls she's met all have friends in
Harry,
Liam,
Niall,
Zayn and
Louie. It's like one big happy panhellenic family!
So now for the big reveal...
Alpha Chi Omega!
I hope you enjoyed reading this!
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