Help!

[Stuffy1]

Golden Anchor, during the recruitment process my daughter asked her advisors for advice via text message and in person. Those are the texts I am referring to. Yes, there was an adult in the room during signing and, in a perfect world, my daughter would have asked that person to clarify but, because she had already asked her advisers 2-3 times she didn't think to do so, unfortunately.

[Stuffy1]

Thank you for all of your help, I think I have the information I need to help my daughter make her decisions. Signing off for now so that I can focus on that.

[Titchou]

So "advisers" means the Rush Counselors. Sometimes it's hard to get the nomenclature correct so all are on the same page.

[GoldenAnchor]

Originally Posted by Stuffy1

Golden Anchor, during the recruitment process my daughter asked her advisors for advice via text message and in person. Those are the texts I am referring to. Yes, there was an adult in the room during signing and, in a perfect world, my daughter would have asked that person to clarify but, because she had already asked her advisers 2-3 times she didn't think to do so, unfortunately.

Whether or not her recruitment guides (advisors) mis-informed her, it's very likely, if not almost guaranteed that they explained exactly what she was signing before she signed it. I volunteer for preference round to explain MRABA and submit preference rankings - the volunteers are trained on what to say and how to answer questions, as well as asking questions if a PNM seems to eager to just sign and not look at the MRABA. Because of this I think your daughter might have a hard time arguing that she didn't understand that COB wasn't an option after she signed. Having also attended a smaller campus with deferred recruitment, I would fully prepare your daughter for the fallout that might come from her quitting because she didn't get her top house (because it will likely be perceived that way no matter how it's spun). I'm not saying it's impossible, but many comments above are correct, deferred recruitment is an entirely different beast, knowing sorority women ahead of time is both a blessing and a curse.

[Sciencewoman]

I think you have been given accurate and well-meaning advice from several alumnae who are actively involved in chapter advising and recruitment support, and who know what they're talking about.

Sadly, every year there are posts from new members or moms who are disappointed in the new member's recruitment outcome, and many times there is mention of a potential loophole, misinformation, computer matching glitch, etc. that is thought to have negatively impacted daughter's recruitment, and that should be remedied. I have never, ever seen a post from someone who came back and said the situation was "fixed" and the new member was released from her bid and now has a new bid to a desired group that had released her.

Personally, I would encourage your daughter to actively engage and work to make friends in her new sorority, or drop before initiation if she just isn't committed. You may not feel that scheduling a meeting with the Greek Life office to present the confusing texts is "making a stink," but trust me, as a long-time university professor and chapter advisor, word will get out and it will be perceived as disgruntled. Even if only one student employee spills the beans, word will get out on a small campus...and members of her current sorority will definitely be offended and hurt if she drops or is somehow released, and word will get out that she wanted a different group. It only takes one sister to talk with a friend in another chapter, and word will spread like wild fire. Groups that already released her will not change their mind and extend her a bid under those circumstances. My daughter is a recent graduate of Washington and Lee, which just finished recruitment, and others who have shared that deferred recruitment on a small campus is a different beast are absolutely correct. Women have been vetted all fall, and there is usually a feeling about "who's going where" by the time actual recruitment comes along in January.

We also see posts every year from women who transferred after initiation, and feel they have "extenuating circumstances" that should exempt them from the NPC "can never join another NPC group once you're initiated" agreement, and they should have the opportunity to re-rush and join a different group at the new school. That isn't allowed and never happens, either, but we still see these posts every year.

[navane]

Originally Posted by GoldenAnchor

Whether or not her recruitment guides (advisors) mis-informed her, it's very likely, if not almost guaranteed that they explained exactly what she was signing before she signed it. I volunteer for preference round to explain MRABA and submit preference rankings - the volunteers are trained on what to say and how to answer questions, as well as asking questions if a PNM seems to eager to just sign and not look at the MRABA. Because of this I think your daughter might have a hard time arguing that she didn't understand that COB wasn't an option after she signed.

I'm not as well-versed as others are about this, and you can probably help shed more light on it; but, it seems to me that there is an NPC policy that states that an explanation of the MRABA must be given to the PNMs before signing and there is literally a script that is read to the PNMs. The NPC Manual of Information seems to support my understanding of this on page 106, the section beginning on page 127, and, finally, the script on page 172. Also, the bottom of page 128 the manual specifies how, and under what conditions, a woman could appeal her MRABA.

Here's the link: https://www.npcwomen.org/wp-content/...nformation.pdf

[GoldenAnchor]

Originally Posted by navane

I'm not as well-versed as others are about this, and you can probably help shed more light on it; but, it seems to me that there is an NPC policy that states that an explanation of the MRABA must be given to the PNMs before signing and there is literally a script that is read to the PNMs. The NPC Manual of Information seems to support my understanding of this on page 106, the section beginning on page 127, and, finally, the script on page 172. Also, the bottom of page 128 the manual specifies how, and under what conditions, a woman could appeal her MRABA.

Here's the link: https://www.npcwomen.org/wp-content/...nformation.pdf

The script was what I was referring to thank you for finding it!