Re-Rush vs New Chapter vs Give Up

[LostGirl]

So I’m currently a freshman at the University of Rhode Island. I rushed this past fall but ended up being cut from every house except one (and I don’t think that one made cuts) after round one. I dropped round two. I kinda took it as a sign that Greek Life wasn’t where I belonged. I’m not really sure what I did wrong to get cut from all those houses. I had some awkward conversations but a few really good ones that I still got cut from. I heard looks matter but I really thought I was okay in that department. I didn’t have the highest GPA, but I heard a 3.0 was all you needed and I had that. At the time, I really just took it as a sign from God that I wasn’t meant to join Greek Life, because I really don’t know why else I would have had cuts that deep. I’ve gotten involved in several other clubs and made friends outside of Greek Life, but I still just feel like something is missing. Many of my family members (not my mom though, I’m not a legacy anywhere) were in sororities and are still close with their sisters and active as alumni. I really wanted something values-based with more of a lifelong bond and I just haven’t found that anywhere else on campus. I kinda thought I’d be in a sorority for as long as I could remember, and now I’m just not and it doesn’t feel right. Is it worth it to re-rush next year? There is also a colony coming back to campus next year that I’ve been considering. I’ve heard it’s a lot of work though and I’m a bit nervous about the time commitment. Does it make a difference that they had a chapter here before and they’re just coming back, or will it still be just as hard and time consuming? I’d also feel really bad if I did end up getting a bid to the new chapter and ended up having to drop because of the time commitment or because I really don’t belong in Greek Life. I’m just so confused on what I should do because I don’t really feel like I belong anywhere here. Any advice would be very appreciated.

[KellyO97]

A URI lady here...

So grades aren’t super competitive compared to other schools, but houses do make blanket cuts for grades. A LOT of freshman come to college with a 4.0 (or close) from HS.

There will probably be some houses (3-5?) doing spring informal recruitment.

The Alpha Chi Omega recolonization will be a time commitment for its new members. Really, joining any org is a time commitment but recolonization is a process that needs members really engaged in the process. The Bid process for a colony can be just as competitive as formal recruitment.

My best advice is to get out there and get involved in other organizations on campus this semester, and consider informal recruitment in the spring.

[FSUZeta]

To piggyback off Kelly097's post, you should work really hard to get the highest GPA you can. Joining an org with a high concentration of sorority women might prove helpful. Knowing you in an informal setting might be the boost you need for them to go to bat for during membership selection.

I advised a colony. It is hard work, but the pay-off is worth it. Typically colonies want a broad spectrum of members from freshmen to some seniors. All have to be willing to put egos aside and work toward the common goal of earning their charter.

It's nice that you have some alternative choices available. I would suggest rushing in the spring and if you don't make a love match, give fall rush another go and keep your eyes and ears open for colonization info. Good luck.

[LostGirl]

Part of it too is I kind of feel like if they didn’t want me the first time, why would they want me the second. Also, when I went through, I really didn’t feel a connection with a lot of the houses. There were maybe 3 where I felt like I had good conversations, but I was cut from all three. Also, 2 of those 3 are considered top houses (I didn’t look at ranks before rush or do that on purpose, and there were other top houses I didn’t like) with very competitive recruitments so even if I improved, I kinda doubt I’d get a bid as a sophomore, especially considering my cuts this year.

At this point, I’m leaning more towards the colony. I’ve heard a lot of people say it is a “major time commitment” but nothing super specific. Is it like 5-10 hours per week (significant, but manageable) or more like 20-30 hours per week (I probably wouldn’t rush it if that’s the case)? Also what specifically do you do that takes so long? Is the time commitment only big for the first semester, or will it be a lot of work for the rest of college? I just haven’t been able to find much info on it.

[KellyO97]

So if you got cut from 9 out of 10 houses at URI after first round, there’s probably one of two reasons (this is complete conjecture based on campus knowledge, I don’t know you or any details of your recruitment). One is that your grades weren’t good compared to other freshmen. The other is that you didn’t really stand out. Honestly, some people don’t shine during formal recruitment. I wouldn’t look at it as “9 houses have already rejected me”. Informal could give you a chance to have deeper conversations and let people really get to know you (and vice versa).

I couldn’t tell you how many hours go into a colony. Colony members are literally building a chapter from the bottom up. They’ll have National guidance but the pieces, contacts, and relationships that are already in place in established sororities need to be created. Leadership boards, alumnae and campus relations, philanthropy contacts all have to me made. Most women that colonize says it’s hard work but very rewarding. It’s also not a guaranteed bid. You’ll be interviewed by their National reps and they will chose the colony class. I think there is a misconception among some PNMs that they’ll take everyone who is interested and that’s definitely not the case.

[lauralaylin]

Kelly is spring COB still a big deal?

LostGirl, many moons ago I joined a sorority at URI the second time I rushed. I know how it feels. If it's still a thing, spring COB was more relaxed and may be a good option for you. Also, keep in mind that the colony will not take everything. They are starting from scratch, so they may be quite picky on who they give bids to. My sorority was a colony at URI, and it was very rewarding to join but a lot of work like others have said.

[KellyO97]

Hi Laura! Last year 3 houses Spring COB’d, took classes between 9-21 girls. More houses were eligible but chose not to (I guess because they only had a few spots?).

[Kevin]

This thread is specific enough that OP could probably be identified. Here's an offer from me to edit the posts thus far to make the question and answers more generic. I'd hate for OP to have her choices even further limited by her participation here. You'd be surprised how many lurkers there are here.

[33girl]

Have you been making an effort this semester to get involved on campus and meet members of Greek life? A group might want you when you’re re-rushing if you’ve done those things, but probably not if all you’ve done this semester is sit around waiting for another rush to go to.

[LostGirl]

I joined clubs and made an effort to get involved, but I haven’t met many sorority girls, mainly non-greeks

[ASTalumna06]

Do sorority members host events or fundraisers on campus that you could attend? Are they visible on campus? Are there opportunities to strike up a conversation with them?

For example, my sorority hosted a pageant every year as a fundraiser that was open to the entire school. We also posted tables around campus during finals week and gave out candy - Smarties and Dum Dums. Adorable, I know These types of scenarios can present a chance to talk to them or ask questions.

Also, don't feel completely rejected. Even if conversations didn't click during round 1 and you were cut by most of the chapters, they're basing decisions on one conversation. It's certainly not a perfect system, and some potential members don't "shine" in such a setting, as someone else said here. Informal might be your best option. Or try formal recruitment again and practice conversations ahead of time. Were you giving a lot of one word answers? Try thinking of the questions you were asked and prep some complete, well-thought-out answers. For example, if someone asks you what your major is, don't simply say, "Biology," and move on. Explain why you're interested in the subject and what you hope to do after school.

Regardless, if you feel this is something you truly want, don't shrug your shoulders and give up. Try again and make sure you have your ducks in a row. Good luck!

[shadokat]

If being Greek meant so much for you, as you stated, why didn't you take the shot with the one house you didn't get cut from? It's been said here so many times, but what's one more? You had a house left that you chose not to take advantage of. As much as I don't know Rhode Island from East Jabip, I can't imagine a PNM going through recruitment and being such a blank slate that she gets cut from every chapter after round 1. Does it happen? Surely...at hyper competitive schools like an Indiana or an Alabama. Your ship may have sailed on any option but the colony at this point. As someone who has advised 4 colonies to new chapters, it's A LOT of work and extremely rewarding. But know that a bid to the colony is not guaranteed either. They won't take everyone, and depending upon campus total and the number of women interested, you may have a difficult time. One of the colonies I worked with had 200 women come out for the colony recruitment and campus total was 80. We HAD to cut 120 women. It's just the way of the game sometimes.

[IrishLake]

Also, keep in mind that just because the college Panhellenic office sets the minimum to go through recruitment at a 3.0, doesn't mean that is a high enough GPA for a chapter to keep you. Most chapters set their own GPA requirements, and most are above a 3.0.

So get involved. Make new friends. Study hard and get the GPA up. Then keep your ear open for COB events in the second semester.

[Cookiez17]

I will say this as a person who got into her chapter through informal recruitment. It's gonna be a lot more relaxed and you'll be able to have deeper conversations with the sisters you'll meet.

But on the other hand the colonization can be an amazing opportunity to not only bring a sorority to campus but get close to a bunch of girls who all share the same goal as you.

It's good you're getting involved now, as this'll help you if you go for COB or the colony. Good luck!