Why didnt I get a bid?

sadguy · #1 01-31-2015, 01:59 AM

So I rushed a frat my first semester of freshman year and i got a bid but had to drop due to issues with my family the day after bid night. I talked to my pledge master and he said I can rush next semester and i did all the brothers seemed chill and acceptable when i told them that my issues were resolved and having my former pledge bros votes behind me i thought ill get a bid for sure but i didn't get one; even the guy who said he's not gonne pledge and was there just to check things out got a bid. why didn't I get a bid?
ps: people have dropped due issues with family and joined back again in this frat so i wasn't the only one with this situation.

aephi alum · #2 01-31-2015, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sadguy

So I rushed a frat my first semester of freshman year and i got a bid but had to drop due to issues with my family the day after bid night. I talked to my pledge master and he said I can rush next semester and i did all the brothers seemed chill and acceptable when i told them that my issues were resolved and having my former pledge bros votes behind me i thought ill get a bid for sure but i didn't get one; even the guy who said he's not gonne pledge and was there just to check things out got a bid. why didn't I get a bid?
ps: people have dropped due issues with family and joined back again in this frat so i wasn't the only one with this situation.

No one will tell you the specific reason why you didn't get a bid this time around. Membership selection is secret.

You can always rush again. Meantime, make friends with the brothers, including the men who would have been your pledge brothers. You never know what will happen.

Aside: The term "fraternity" is preferred to "frat", both here on GC and in real life.

MysticCat · #3 01-31-2015, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aephi alum

Aside: The term "fraternity" is preferred to "frat", both here on GC and in real life.

Here on GC? Yes. In real life? Maybe. National organizations have come to discourage the use of "frat" (which wasn't always the case). But as noted before on GC, on some campuses, "frat" is perfectly acceptable in informal conversation. Where the OP is, it may be common and acceptable to use "frat," though I agree it may be better to use "fraternity" just to be on the safe side.

sadguy, I'm sorry for your disappointment. As others have said, no one here can tell why you didn't get a bid. We have no way of knowing. You can talk to some of the brothers or the pledge master, but they might not be able, or willing, to tell you either.

If you're still interested in rushing this fraternity next go around, continue to befriend brothers and show interest—without being obnoxious or creepy about it. But you might also want to start looking at other fraternities that might be worth rushing.

DubaiSis · #4 01-31-2015, 02:33 PM

I would consider your options with other fraternities. If I were to hazard a guess they either didn't buy your excuse or don't believe it merited dropping out. They possibly see you as a flake risk and it's probably not worth your time to keep banging that drum.

Splash · #5 02-01-2015, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I would consider your options with other fraternities. If I were to hazard a guess they either didn't buy your excuse or don't believe it merited dropping out. They possibly see you as a flake risk and it's probably not worth your time to keep banging that drum.

If you do have any shot with the fraternity you are currently pursuing (and we do not know) if they find out you are pursuing other options, it is my opinion that that will pretty much have them close the book on you.

DubaiSis · #6 02-01-2015, 01:07 PM

Why would he still be in play? The liked him, bid him, he dropped out, rushed again, they had space for him and didn't take him back. I think holding out hope is like waiting for your ex to see the light and take you back. While it's always possible, it's not likely.

als463 · #7 02-01-2015, 02:21 PM

I hate to be insensitive but, I'm starting to wonder if "family illness/ got sick" is now code for, "I didn't have the money at the time" or "I wasn't feeling this organization until I dropped and then realized no one else would take me so, I came crawling back" because it seems like this excuse has been used a whole lot lately for everything from dropping a bid to having really poor grades. Is it just me or are there tons of "family illness/ got sick" stories on GC lately? I don't remember this really ever being a real problem when I was an undergrad. I sometimes wonder if people say that for poor GPA because no one is really going to expect them to back up their story for fear of looking like insensitive jerks.

pinksequins · #8 02-01-2015, 03:47 PM

Als, I think you are reading too much into it. Also, if someone doesn't want a group for even the most superficial of reasons, so be it. That person will need to accept the consequences (perhaps no bid), and everyone needs to move on.

Sad, everyone who has commented is a member of a sorority. Since no fraternity members have commented, perhaps you need toexplore other options rather than dwell on the original group or what happened. Move forward.

als463 · #9 02-01-2015, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinksequins

Als, I think you are reading too much into it. Also, if someone doesn't want a group for even the most superficial of reasons, so be it. That person will need to accept the consequences (perhaps no bid), and everyone needs to move on.

Sad, everyone who has commented is a member of a sorority. Since no fraternity members have commented, perhaps you need toexplore other options rather than dwell on the original group or what happened. Move forward.

You could be right. I may be reading too much into it. I wasn't really just talking about the OP. I meant in general. I just feel like overall, this is the excuse used by many new people on GC. MysticCat is a fraternity man so, he got some response from a man.

pinksequins · #10 02-01-2015, 04:35 PM

Als, I think so for a guy. I think Sad really liked the house, but something didn't go right in the delivery of the news.

Sad, I also stand corrected on the advisors on this thread: MysticCat is a fraternity member, and a respected one. You might consider his insights from a guy's point of view.

PhilTau · #11 07-09-2017, 01:08 PM

I know that the OP is from 2015 - I am posting this for other people who may be in the same situation.

I speak from experience. About a month in, I depledged XYZ fraternity. A year later, I rushed again. I was interested in rejoining XYZ and had maintained very good relationships with my XYZ pledge brothers -- one was one of my very best friends. Though I had already decided to pledge a different fraternity, I found out before bid drop that I would not be getting a bid from XYZ. One guy in XYZ didn't want me in - everyone else did.

The power to prevent giving out a bid to someone varies by fraternity. Chances are that someone (or a couple of someones) just didn't want you in. When this happens, accept the fact that there is really nothing you can do about it and move on.

You will find this dynamic also at work when you graduate and are out looking for employment - ten people at a company may love you but just this one guy didn't. So no job.

My advice is to keep looking.