Can I pledge again?

[norman]

Hi. I was dropped from my pledge class yesterday and I'm feeling really bummed out. I've often had trouble making friends, but I was really starting to get close with the people in my pledge class and some of the brothers. I was dropped because in my attempts to be funny and likable, I ended up being annoying and creeping out the brothers with my jokes. I feel like it's too late now to make friends anywhere else on campus and I'm all alone. Is there any way I can repledge next quarter and show them that I can be more mature? Or is it too late now? My pledge brothers told me that I could, but I don't know if the brothers would let me do that again. I'm still friends with all the brothers and pledges on facebook. Do you have any suggestions?

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by norman

Hi. I was dropped from my pledge class yesterday and I'm feeling really bummed out. I've often had trouble making friends, but I was really starting to get close with the people in my pledge class and some of the brothers. I was dropped because in my attempts to be funny and likable, I ended up being annoying and creeping out the brothers with my jokes. I feel like it's too late now to make friends anywhere else on campus and I'm all alone. Is there any way I can repledge next quarter and show them that I can be more mature? Or is it too late now? My pledge brothers told me that I could, but I don't know if the brothers would let me do that again. I'm still friends with all the brothers and pledges on facebook. Do you have any suggestions?

Did you not like the response to your first post?

[norman]

i don't know what it means

[LaneSig]

Originally Posted by norman

Hi. I was dropped from my pledge class yesterday and I'm feeling really bummed out. I've often had trouble making friends, but I was really starting to get close with the people in my pledge class and some of the brothers. I was dropped because in my attempts to be funny and likable, I ended up being annoying and creeping out the brothers with my jokes. I feel like it's too late now to make friends anywhere else on campus and I'm all alone. Is there any way I can repledge next quarter and show them that I can be more mature? Or is it too late now? My pledge brothers told me that I could, but I don't know if the brothers would let me do that again. I'm still friends with all the brothers and pledges on facebook. Do you have any suggestions?

Quoting just so I can remember what you said. I'm sorry to hear that you got dropped. That sucks.

#1- How long had you been pledging? Were you given a reason for being dropped.

#2- How large is the Greek system on your campus? More than 10 IFC chapters? Less? How many members in your pledge class? In the chapter (rough estimate)?

If you truly want to change, you need to take an honest look at yourself and your personality. It's an older book, and a bit of a cliche, but go and find a copy of Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It honestly is a great tool to help learn how to talk and get along with people.

Can you repledge? Ideally, yes. But, usually, if you've been dropped by a group, you're going to have to really make some changes in order to get back into their good graces.

[PhilTau]

Can you pledge again? Yes.

Can you pledge again successfully? Harder question and we cannot give you a definitive answer. Difficult thing to pull off, even under the best of circumstances. I speak from experience, having depledged one social fraternity on campus to join another a year later.

Understand, there is a difference (1) in being thrown out, (2) in being asked to depledge (some in the fraternity think you just don't fit in but they like you enough to not ruin your chances with other fraternities) and (3) in depledging because you just didn't like them. As a general matter, don't depend on your former pledge brothers to provide any help in the future. I admit this thinking is very old school, but human nature doesn't change and I suspect that this dynamic still exists, at least informally. I recommend that you discuss all this with the best friends you'll ever have in life and who know you the best -- your parents. And follow their advice.

Now that you have some free time, focus on your studies not your social life. College is temporary. Later in life, no one will care whether or not you were in a fraternity. But your college transcripts follow you everywhere you go. People care about that. Also, go visit your college's mental health counselor - it will help.

The prior post about Dale Carnegie is probably some of the best practical advice you will ever get.