What to do?

[pnm092802]

Will it look weird to submit recommendation letters right now? Or do you think that's okay?

Originally Posted by Titchou

Recommendations have to be from any member of the particular organization - AAA rec has to be from an AAA,etc. Some groups do not take collegian signed recs, some do. None require them to be from the particular chapter on that campus. So an AAA alum from Big State School U can sign one for her chapter at little liberal arts school. Your best bet is alumna as they will probably have known you longer and better. Ask the women who wrote recs for other groups if they know women in the groups you need. Greek women know other Greek women. You really have to network to find them.

[Titchou]

You need to find out who is doing COB (Greek Life office can help you there) and only submit those.

[FSUZeta]

I have known plenty of girls with stylish short hair-even pixie cuts- who have successfully rushed. Could it be you are self conscience about your hair and that makes you come across as uncomfortable to others? Short hair can be darling. Own it!

[pnm092802]

Will it look weird to submit recommendation letters right now? Or do you think that's okay?

Originally Posted by Titchou

Recommendations have to be from any member of the particular organization - AAA rec has to be from an AAA,etc. Some groups do not take collegian signed recs, some do. None require them to be from the particular chapter on that campus. So an AAA alum from Big State School U can sign one for her chapter at little liberal arts school. Your best bet is alumna as they will probably have known you longer and better. Ask the women who wrote recs for other groups if they know women in the groups you need. Greek women know other Greek women. You really have to network to find them.

[pnm092802]

Originally Posted by Titchou

You need to find out who is doing COB (Greek Life office can help you there) and only submit those.

I filled out the COB form and they said that sororities would contact me if they were interested. Should that be enough?

[pnm092802]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

I have known plenty of girls with stylish short hair-even pixie cuts- who have successfully rushed. Could it be you are self conscience about your hair and that makes you come across as uncomfortable to others? Short hair can be darling. Own it!

I don't think that's it, but maybe?

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by pnm092802

I filled out the COB form and they said that sororities would contact me if they were interested. Should that be enough?

Yes and get the recs in. That will show positive interest on your part. There isn't much more you can do than that. If it doesn't work out this fall,some groups may have slots after December graduations.

[AZTheta]

Could FSUZeta or Titchou please explain COB to the OP? I'd take a stab at it BUT I'm freezing cold. ETA: or somebody who can explain it so it makes sense b/c I think that is important for the OP to understand.

[Titchou]

COB - continuous open bidding - or informal recruitment is done only by chapters who are under campus total - a number determine by the college Panhellenic for all NPC groups on that campus. So sometimes quite a few groups are doing COB, and sometimes none are. Some may have one slot and some may have more. It is individual to each chapter. They generally do not advertise and do not coordinate events. Each group has their own schedule and events may vary from something as informal coffee with a few members to an event to a campus event. It is nothing at all like formal recruitment. Very one on one.

ETA - sorry you are freezing, AZTheta. Come on here down South and burn up with the rest of us!

[robinseggblue]

My personal opinion is that your best shot at COB could be the house that invited you for pref. They saw potential in you, wanted you to be their sister...and you rejected them. Your misunderstanding of recruitment rules is no one's but your own (if you are invited to preference during formal recruitment, you will get a bid if you attend all the parties you were invited to...even if that was just one party...this is not the case for informal recruitment/COB). At the same time...don't be surprised if the house that wanted you doesn't give you another chance because you rejected them. But at the same time they are the ones who saw potential in you and wanted you...so if you could prove to them that you have matured and are worthy of being one of their sisters...then maybe they would give you another chance.

I don't know what campus you are at or what house this is...I'm just speaking based on my personal experience and what I personally saw in college on my campus. I know of two specific instances where a girl either dropped out of recruitment before pref or rejected their bid...only to come back to the chapter who invited them to pref/offered them the bid in the first place. It's rare but possible. Both of these women matured in the weeks following dropping out of recruitment or rejecting their bid, actively pursued the house that they had rejected in the first place, and became outstanding members who held significant leadership positions and were loved by the chapter.

The other houses rejected you for one reason or another...you won't find out why...and if that reason was good enough to reject you during formal recruitment...then I wouldn't at all be surprised if they aren't interested in you again. COB is competitive. And I can tell you that sisters will remember why they cut you in the first place. Again...there is no way to know what happened because membership selection is private, but if the reason was a good one...you probably won't get another chance.

My 2 cents.


Sorry I'm all over the place, very tired.

[navane]

Originally Posted by Titchou

COB - continuous open bidding - or informal recruitment is done only by chapters who are under campus total - a number determine by the college Panhellenic for all NPC groups on that campus. So sometimes quite a few groups are doing COB, and sometimes none are. Some may have one slot and some may have more. It is individual to each chapter. They generally do not advertise and do not coordinate events. Each group has their own schedule and events may vary from something as informal coffee with a few members to an event to a campus event. It is nothing at all like formal recruitment. Very one on one.

Good explanation!

So, pnm092802, what that basically means is that each sorority has a maximum number of members allowed. If they go below that number (because some members graduated, etc), they can fill those open slots by doing COB/informal recruitment. I mention that because, I want to reiterate what Titchou said - not all of the sororities may be under total. For example, let's say they are 14 chapters on your campus. In my example, 8 were at or above total after recruitment and cannot take any more new members. The remaining 6 are under total and might do COB to fill empty slots. Even then, they may only have 1-2 open spots....or they may have 9 open spots....or they could choose not to fill those slots at all. The sisters may already have some candidates in mind before COB starts. We don't know. However, the good thing about COB is that the atmosphere is more relaxed and you have more time and opportunity to get to know each other in a more natural setting. I hope this helps!

Best wishes to you as you move forward with your semester!

[evilqueen]

I don't want to hijack this thread but I am confused about the relationship between pref and bids. I have been told that being invited to pref does not guarantee a bid? For example, if there are a max of three pref invites and you go to all of them you still might not get a bid from one of them. So what is the true story here? Thanks!

[TXDG]

Originally Posted by evilqueen

I don't want to hijack this thread but I am confused about the relationship between pref and bids. I have been told that being invited to pref does not guarantee a bid? For example, if there are a max of three pref invites and you go to all of them you still might not get a bid from one of them. So what is the true story here? Thanks!

Many, many campus Panhellenics now guarantee bids for PNM's who make it to pref AND list all of their pref houses on their pref card (regardless of the #of max parties or how many invites the pnm had). It's a reward for maximizing their options throughout the recruitment process. Now....there will still be an exception here and there where a pnm acts so terribly on pref that Panhellenic will allow her to be released, but for 99.9% of PNM's at these schools, having at least one pref invite means they're getting a bid if they don't SIP ("suicide.")

This is why you see so many quota additions now. If a pnm attends 2 pref parties and both bid lists fill before her name comes up, she will bid match as a QA to one of those houses- either her first choice or the smallest chapter depending on the campus and situation.

This seems to be the norm rather than the exception now. I am not aware of any big Greek campus in the south of Texas that doesn't guarantee bids for PNM's who maximize their options on pref night.

[AZ-AlphaXi]

Originally Posted by evilqueen

I don't want to hijack this thread but I am confused about the relationship between pref and bids. I have been told that being invited to pref does not guarantee a bid? For example, if there are a max of three pref invites and you go to all of them you still might not get a bid from one of them. So what is the true story here? Thanks!

if the campus uses RFM, then if the PNM has maximized her choices .. ie has attended ALL parties to which she has been invited and lists ALL chapters that she attended preference parties for then she will receive a bid from one of those chapters. It might not be her first choice, but she will receive a bid from one.

If the PNM only has one preference party to attend and she lists that chapter, then she will receive a bid from that chapter. If she attends two parties and lists both chapters, then she will received a bid from one of those two chapters. If she attends two parties and only lists one chapter, she has not maximized her possibilities and might or might not receive a bid.

[pnm092802]

While I understand that they may have had really good reasons for dropping me, I can't understand why I was dropped from some of the houses I was. I've gone over the conversations so many times and I honestly felt like most of the conversations went really well. I had letters for all but four sororities, /9 I understand why those four didn't ask me back,but as for the other five, some of which I really liked, I don't know what happened. The house who did invite me back to preference night was not my favorite and one of the girls wasn't very nice to me. Which was odd because I had just met her. Do you have any ideas on how to make a better impression with some of the other houses? I just don't understand what I did wrong.

Originally Posted by robinseggblue

My personal opinion is that your best shot at COB could be the house that invited you for pref. They saw potential in you, wanted you to be their sister...and you rejected them. Your misunderstanding of recruitment rules is no one's but your own (if you are invited to preference during formal recruitment, you will get a bid if you attend all the parties you were invited to...even if that was just one party...this is not the case for informal recruitment/COB). At the same time...don't be surprised if the house that wanted you doesn't give you another chance because you rejected them. But at the same time they are the ones who saw potential in you and wanted you...so if you could prove to them that you have matured and are worthy of being one of their sisters...then maybe they would give you another chance.

I don't know what campus you are at or what house this is...I'm just speaking based on my personal experience and what I personally saw in college on my campus. I know of two specific instances where a girl either dropped out of recruitment before pref or rejected their bid...only to come back to the chapter who invited them to pref/offered them the bid in the first place. It's rare but possible. Both of these women matured in the weeks following dropping out of recruitment or rejecting their bid, actively pursued the house that they had rejected in the first place, and became outstanding members who held significant leadership positions and were loved by the chapter.

The other houses rejected you for one reason or another...you won't find out why...and if that reason was good enough to reject you during formal recruitment...then I wouldn't at all be surprised if they aren't interested in you again. COB is competitive. And I can tell you that sisters will remember why they cut you in the first place. Again...there is no way to know what happened because membership selection is private, but if the reason was a good one...you probably won't get another chance.

My 2 cents.


Sorry I'm all over the place, very tired.