I'm not sure

[Mickelboy]

Hey everyone, I'm new to the board and I'm just not sure if i want to go greek. I want to because i want to be in a group that is supportive and interesting. However I'm not completely over the brainwashing i went trhough in High School from my friends and parents about fraternities. My roomate last year pledged and loved it. But then again he was the typical frat boy so that scared me a little, although the group he joined has a good reputation. UGH!! I need help! Rush is over for now but its going to start again soon and i was just wondering what to expect, what questions to ask so that i dont waste my time pledging when it isnt the fraternity that suites me the best and what to expect during pledgeing, because I don't drink (i know that its a stereotype but...) and do all of those other things that "frats" do. Also what is the average cost to join a fraternity? Any help would be greatly appreciated. THanks Mickelboy

The first thing you probalby should do is to get a list of the fraternities on campus. Take a look at their national pages (if applicable) and local pages. That should give you an idea of what they are about, projects they work on and their history. While the pages won't tell you everything about the Fraternity, you should beable to gain some idea.

Next, Talk to your friends you know who are greek, and those who are not. Talk to the brothers of the different groups. Between the reading and talking to others, and seeing the interaction of the brothers, you'll find out which one might suit you to focus in for rush.

I'm not really sure how Rush is handled at the fraternity level. One good Rush site to look at though is Everything Rush at - http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark...4161/main.html

hope that helps..

Artimis

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Beta Chapter Alumna and Founder
Alpha Sigma Kappa - Women in Technical Studies

Sisters by nature; Friends by Choice

[Q-T Pie]

I definitely agree with Artimis' information. That's what I basically did & I found out so much & have met so many people & I'm not even rushing until this spring.

I'm speaking from a girls view, but I'm hoping it'll help you a bit. About the brainwashing...I had that too. No one in my family ever really attended college or only took a few classes so they only knew what the media told them about Greek orgs. (& we all know what the media has to say ) I think the only way to jump over those hurdles is to just get out there & meet people from the different fraternities on campus. This is the only way, in my opinion, that you can first, see if Greek life is for you, & second, to see what org. may be best for you.

On costs, it really depends. I was originally interested in A&M & their semester dues was twice as much as SHSU. What I did, if you feel comfortable enough to do this, is when you talk to some of the guys, simply ask for a ballpark figure.

Well, eventhough this is from a non Greek girls view, I hope I helped a bit.

Allison



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A mistake at least proves that somebody stopped talking long enough to do something.
~ Anonymous

[BFulton]

Another thing to keep in mind (you should learn this talking to the people you know who are in fraternities) is that, although the college experience is important, fraternity membership is for a lifetime. So you will also gain networking and social benefits if you choose to stay involved after graduation. No matter where you go, you can probably find a brother to introduce you to your new city, etc.

[Mickelboy]

Thanks everyone for the great advice, it is weird that i'm even thinking about joining a fraternity if you would have asked me a year ago i would have said no way, but my attitude has changed big time. I should have been clearer when i said my ex roomate was a "frat boy", he's actually the reason i was so down on them for a long time, i cant tell you the number of times he came in drunk after a party not to mention the weird places we would find him in the morning (once he passed out on the toliet and another time in the shower still in his boxers.)But from my experiences with other greeks (especially in the his fraternity) i learned that he was the exception rather than the majority. The funniest thing is that the fraternity he joined is right mow my first choice thanks to the impression that his brothers made on me last year thanks to my roomates stupid actions. I havent had the time to check out the site mentioned in the other post but thats what i going to do next after i finish. Another question what are some ways to meet members of a fraternity? I know a few through classes but i don't want to just walk up to someone and scream "HEY!" anyway thanks everybody i'm a little more solid now wait and see come January, OH one more thing what are some typical activities during rush? i know they're all different, around here a lot of recruits go swimming, kayaking and rock climbing. But as in my case i cant swim so do i have less of a chance to get a bid if i dont participate? Or i guess my big question is can i be an individual in a brotherhood? I've heard in the case of sororities that you pretty much have to "stick with your own kind" as in if im part of Delta Delta Delta i cant assoicate with Chi Chi Chi (I made them up obviously, sorry if one of them is real)or hang out with those not in greek life. I dont mean to sound as if i just want to walk around with letters on and never associate with the brothers but i dont want to be limited in my social life. Sorry i began to end this post a while ago and started up again, thanks everyone youve been a great help.

[33girl]

Originally posted by Mickelboy:
Or i guess my big question is can i be an individual in a brotherhood? I've heard in the case of sororities that you pretty much have to "stick with your own kind" as in if im part of Delta Delta Delta i cant assoicate with Chi Chi Chi (I made them up obviously, sorry if one of them is real)or hang out with those not in greek life. I dont mean to sound as if i just want to walk around with letters on and never associate with the brothers but i dont want to be limited in my social life.

If you are at a rush party and the brothers allude that they are like that, run like hell! Greek life is about expanding your life not limiting it.

Obviously if you live in the house you will see your brothers a lot, but whether it becomes your whole life is up to you. I kept a lot of non-Greek friends after I pledged. Some of your friends might have a misconception of you if you go Greek, it is up to you to smash it. One of my friends said that Greeks "run your life and you never have time for anything else" - well then why was I always the one going to visit her and never the other way around? She was the one who became changed because of my Greek status, not me.

There might be more "setting apart" at a big school, but I think that is everyone, not just Greeks. My friends who went to 25,000 students schools had fewer friends than I did at a 7,000 student school. I think because it's so overwhelmingly huge, you find a group of friends and stick to it.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by Mickelboy:

Thanks everyone for the great advice, it is weird that i'm even thinking about joining a fraternity if you would have asked me a year ago i would have said no way, but my attitude has changed big time.
That's great to hear. You are taking steps in the right direction by researching, checking everything out, etc.


I should have been clearer when i said my ex roomate was a "frat boy", he's actually the reason i was so down on them for a long time, i cant tell you the number of times he came in drunk after a party not to mention the weird places we would find him in the morning (once he passed out on the toliet and another time in the shower still in his boxers.)But from my experiences with other greeks (especially in the his fraternity) i learned that he was the exception rather than the majority. The funniest thing is that the fraternity he joined is right mow my first choice thanks to the impression that his brothers made on me last year thanks to my roomates stupid actions.
Your alcohol loving room-mate may have a substance abuse problem or he may simply be going through the university "get wasted as often as possible" phase. In any case, the fact that his brothers took responsibility for him and looked after him is saying alot. In some cases, people pass out drunk and vomit in their sleep and die! This is serious! So it sounds like these guys look out for each other (and so they should).

I havent had the time to check out the site mentioned in the other post but thats what i going to do next after i finish. Another question what are some ways to meet members of a fraternity? I know a few through classes but i don't want to just walk up to someone and scream "HEY!"
Are the fraternity members in your classes in the group that interests you the most? If so, try to talk to them about the assignment, or "boy, this professor assigns a lot of reading", or what have you. Try to talk about the class, and maybe you can somehow segue into fraternity chat. (Try not to be too overt about it, though). Subtle is the key!

anyway thanks everybody i'm a little more solid now wait and see come January, OH one more thing what are some typical activities during rush? i know they're all different, around here a lot of recruits go swimming, kayaking and rock climbing. But as in my case i cant swim so do i have less of a chance to get a bid if i dont participate?I think that the more activities you participate in, the better your chances. As for not knowing how to swim, have you thought about signing up for Adult Learn to Swim Classes? Don't be embarrassed...they wouldn't offer them if there wasn't a need for them. Please consider this, it would definitely help if you have a fear of the water.

Also, I think drinking alcohol goes part and parcel with fraternity life (unfortunately). That being said, you said that you don't drink. If someone offers you, you can say that you're allergic, or that alcohol makes you feel really really sick, or if it's against your religion (Muslims are not supposed to drink alcohol) then say that. I think any reasonable person would accept that and not push it on you.

Or i guess my big question is can i be an individual in a brotherhood? I've heard in the case of sororities that you pretty much have to "stick with your own kind" as in if im part of Delta Delta Delta i cant assoicate with Chi Chi Chi (I made them up obviously, sorry if one of them is real)or hang out with those not in greek life. I dont mean to sound as if i just want to walk around with letters on and never associate with the brothers but i dont want to be limited in my social life. Sorry i began to end this post a while ago and started up again, thanks everyone youve been a great help.Yes, you are an individual and you can be an individual! Lots of fraternity men have friends in other fraternities. If someone didn't believe in your being friends with Greeks in different fraternities, that is their problem, not yours. I echo 33girl: "the brothers allude that they are like that, run like hell! Greek life is about expanding your life not limiting it."

Oh, and just to let you know, I don't know of any groups called Chi Chi Chi (I know you made them up on the fly), but there is definitely a "Delta Delta Delta". It is a
women's sorority in the National Panhellenic Conference, and they are quite large nationally. Just thought I would let you know. Good luck in your quest and tell us what happens or write if you have any other questions!!

[Mickelboy]

Hey everyone i'm back. Ok heres the deal so far, thanks to the information everyone here has been nice enough to provide, and thanks to a conversation with a friend i have decided to rush for the spring. However there are just some other things that my friend brought up, one if i should get in and at some point decide that i like it can i get out? Also the whole formal informal rush thing that is mentioned in other threads does that apply to Fraternities? Because the posts usually deal with sororities.
I do have one big hang up the fraternity that i'm considering, as i have mentioned before, is the same frat that my former roommate is a member of. We got along ok and even one time told me that i would be a "helluva Brother" so i dont think that he would be against me joining, and he's the person that i'm going to approach first for information but last year i made it very clear that i would never go greek. So after the long way around how can i approach the topic without seeming like a hypocrite? Any other advice would be great, oh anything that i can do to prepare for rush so that i'm not totally overwhelmed come Spring? I know most of the Greek alphabet anyway so that isnt a big concern but anything else i should be doing to prepare? Laters Mickelboy

[33girl]

Formal vs. informal is a "girl thing."

Don't worry about your "I'll never go Greek" proclamation - if we piled up everyone who said that who's now Greek, we could fill the Grand Canyon.

As far as what to do to prepare, I'll leave that ? up to the men of the board. Good luck!

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by Mickelboy:

[b]Hey everyone i'm back. Ok here's the deal so far, thanks to the information everyone here has been nice enough to provide, and thanks to a conversation with a friend i have decided to rush for the spring.[b/]Good for you, and you are most welcome!

However there are just some other things that my friend brought up, one if i should get in and at some point decide that i like it can i get out? Yes, I have heard of guys depledging, so yes, there is a "way out". Maybe the fraternity men on the board can shed some insight.

I do have one big hang up the fraternity that i'm considering, as i have mentioned before, is the same frat that my former roommate is a member of. We got along ok and even one time told me that i would be a "helluva Brother" so i dont think that he would be against me joining, and he's the person that i'm going to approach first for information but last year i made it very clear that i would never go greek. So after the long way around how can i approach the topic without seeming like a hypocrite?
Just approach him and say that you have given the Going Greek matter some thought and that you are interested in his fraternity (Do not remind him or volunteer the fact that previously you were anti-Greek). If Room-mate says, "But I thought you were so anti-Greek", then just acknowledge that and explain something like, "Yes, you're right. I used to be anti-Greek, but that was because I didn't really know anything about fraternities. Now I know more about them, and I have a sincere interest in joining a fraternity". I think it is respectable to acknowledge that while you may have felt one way in the past, this is no longer the case.

[parrotthead]

Ok here goes, Im currently pledging so I might be able to answer some questions about getting started and all. I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to your ex-roomate, he can most likely give you an inside look at the individual chapter and the fraternity as a whole. Im sure he could introduce you to the brothers and the more time you spend there the easier the decision will be. It wouldnt hurt to know the alphabet Ithink everyone has to learn it so having it down before you start would only be a plus. Hope that helps! Are there any other questions that I can try to answer?

[Zeta_Girl]

Hey. Relax and don't get so worked up! That is the first of my advise. I'm greek and I understand all the different feelings that your going through. I know that this is comming from a girls perspective but guys rush is similiar to girls. Before you even get an idea of which fraternity is right for you, try to talk to different ones, get to know the guys in each group. Try to see how they interact with each other, to make sure they aren't putting on a front. That was my biggest thing when I went through rush. Keep an open mind about all the groups, until you actually get to know them. Go through Rush and have a good time, you'll meet a lot of great people, even if you don't go to that particular frat. " No Matter the Letter, We're All Greek Together!" I think you'll enjoy it if you pledge. I love my Sorority, I know nothing would be the same without my sisters! I love them all!


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"Only The Best Get Crowned"