Rho Chi advice

[lionlove]

I'm going to be a rho chi in the fall and I want to know what is the best piece of advice your rho chi ever gave you? I don't mean advice about an individual situation but a general piece of advice that your rho chi gave you at the beginning of rush that really made a difference.

I was a COB pledge and I never went through rush as a PNM, only as a sister so I never had a rho chi myself.

[ChiOqt]

This isn't something my Rho Chi told me, rather something she did. As most people know, many freshman come to school with these stereotypes of sororities or hear things the first few weeks. On the first night of rush our Rho Chi handed us a piece of paper and a brown lunch bag. We all thought she was crazy, but she told us to write down EVERYTHING that we had heard or thought of sororities before rush began, put it in the bag, and throw it away. She said that as we threw it away it would never be thought of again, because we would all be joining one of the amazing orgs that we had heard things about...bad or good. I thought it was a great idea...by getting rid of everything in the bag, we could start over and form our own opinions

[kristiAZD]

When I was a Rho Chi, the most difficult situations I encountered were:
~ My parents aren't very supportive, what should I do?
~ My best friend wants to join a different sorority that I do and I feel pressure to join that one too even though I feel more comfortable somewhere else. Will we still be friends if I don't join the one she wants to?
~ I really want to pledge, but I won't have the money.

Here's what I said to help (you will probably learn all of this in your training, but I'll tell you anyway.):

~ Talk to your parents rationally about your intent to join. Show them the recruitment packet you were given so they can see all of the good things the sororities here do, and how being a member can benefit you for life.
~ It is very important to go where you feel most comfortable; where you feel you fit. Membership is for life, so you don't want to make a choice of a sorority where you don't feel comfortable just because your friend feels comfortable there. You and your friend should never experince a strain on your relationship just because you joined different sororities. ( I have friends in other sororites, as I'm sure you do, and I always mention this.)
~ Don't decide not to pledge just because of money. Many chapters have payment plans and will work with you to help you pay your dues. ( At my school dues are between $150-300 a semester, so it is obviously much easier to help out new members with payment plans. Form your answer based on what the dues system is at your school.)

The hardest thing I ever had to do was tell two girls they didn't recieve bids from their preffered sororities. I was practically crying for them. I couldn't even begin to tell you what to say in that situation unless I knew how your system works.

Hope this helps!! If you have any more questions, feel free to PM or email me. I'd be glad to help you out!

[AOIIalum]

Lion Love,

Like you, I was a COB pledge who didn't have a RC and then became a RC! The most important thing I can remember is to honestly try to be the PNMs friend during the week. Remain objective, even if they're trashing your sorority (unfortunately, it can happen, even to the best of chapters!) and help the PNMs make the decisions best for THEM during the week. Some PNMs won't need any assistance other than being checked off before entering each party. Other's will need their hand held, and it's your job to hold those hands with a smile! Think about it in this manner, you as a RC are rushing all of the PNMs!

A couple other things I can think of: A RC group who are unified and friendly with each other makes an incredible impression on the PMNs. I have fond memories of the RCs the year I was PH Rush Chair, these girls had a blast together and it showed to everyone. The impression it made to see all those girls **in different sororities** getting along together so well was amazing. Lead by example and let the PMNs know that no matter what sorority they join for themselves, they can have friends in different sororities without worry.

Even more importantly, no matter which sorority they pledge, remain friendly with them! Remember who they are and say hi when you see them on campus.

Will you be able to post your RC story during or after the fact? I love reading all the recruitment stories on here (can't you tell?)

Fraternally,
Christin

[KappaKittyCat]

Like you, I was a COB pledge and have only been through Recruitment as a sister. I've never had an RC with whom I was close, nor have I been one, but based on what I've seen from my side, I can give you one very important suggestion that could very well make a lot of difference.

Anonymity is more than giving up one's letters for a month or a term (depending on when your Recruitment is). It involves a complete disaffiliation from your sorority, and that includes your sisters, both those who are anonymous and those who are not. Every year the freshmen manage to figure out where the RC's belong. That's because Theta RC's only hung out with other Theta RC's, DG's with DG's, etc. My sisters were equally bad about this. Though it might be difficult to figure out whether Laura is a DG, Theta, or Kappa, when they saw Laura together with Katie and Sara, they figured out that all three of them were DG's based on group interaction. Does that make sense? So of course you can't hang out with your affiliated sisters in public, which is hard, but you really need to make an effort to avoid hanging out with your sisters who are RC's in public as well.

This year at my school we're trying to build a sisterhood of RC's-- bonding, regular meetings, etc. We got them RC t-shirts and RC badges (available from NPC). I wish there were RC ritual. Hmm, there's a thought... maybe I should write some. But anyway, a visible sisterhood of RC's can do a lot to illustrate an earlier stated point, that different GLO affiliations do not mess up friendships.

I really like the brown paper bag idea that someone else shared. I wish they'd do that with every incoming freshman at my school (grr... liberal arts school with loads of stereotypes, including that the Greek system is anathema to a positive liberal arts education and mindset... and deferred Recruitment doesn't help either). One other thing I can suggest is that if a girl looks like she's going to be a hard sell, don't get pushy. I was easily turned off of going through Recruitment my freshman year by an overzealous RC who just about stalked me. Not that you would do that, but just so you're aware...

Best of luck to you. The fact that you're seeking advice this early in the game is a nod to your commitment to this position. I know you'll have a positive influence on many freshman women.

[aephi alum]

Originally posted by KappaKittyCat
This year at my school we're trying to build a sisterhood of RC's-- bonding, regular meetings, etc. We got them RC t-shirts and RC badges (available from NPC). I wish there were RC ritual. Hmm, there's a thought... maybe I should write some.

There is a ritual. I don't know if it's just something local to my school, but we were all "initiated" before the start of rush. I don't remember many of the details though... it was a long time ago

I had the rho chi from hell. She really didn't do anything beyond "here are your invites". No advice as to what to wear, no hand-holding for people who got cut, nothing. (I think she wanted to be a rho chi so she wouldn't have to rush.) I tried to do a little bit more, a little small talk when people came to get their invites, etc.

[dgtxalum]

One thing we did as Rho Chis during rush was hold an ice cream social for our rush group, where the girls could come and hang out and/or ask questions with us about rush and etc. I think it was good for the girls who had questions, (in our group of about 60 girls, only about 10-15 came) but were either too embarrassed or shy to ask them during Convocations when they were with the rest of our group and all of the other rushees. It also allowed us a little more one-on-one time with some of them and they could view us as people rather than the girls that were there to facilitate their "fates".

Also, I know this was already mentioned but I'd like to stress it, have FUN! We did, and it showed. Even when we were doing such simple tasks as roll call, we'd laugh, have smiles on our faces and just generally kid around. This was for the benefit of all the rushees, not just our group - we were only with them mainly for Convocations. Anyway, we came off as personable and approachable that way, and allowed the rushees a moment to relax or smile in the midst of such a stressful situation.

[FuzzieAlum]

The best thing a Rho Chi can do is look honestly at herself and really, truly make sure she is disaffiliated. If you "strongly encourage" a girl to go back to your house when she doesn't want to, she'll remember it later.

Our school used recent alums for Rho Chis, and that worked much better, I believe. Some even went to other schools and so were in chapters we didn't have. I think this allowed them a little more distance and objectivity. Plus, you had fewer pictures to cover their faces in!

[carnation]

Amen to the disaffiliation suggestion. I know a girl who will be a recruitment counselor this fall and she's always telling my daughters how much she hates 2 of the sororities on her campus inparticular--said she'd do anything to keep people from pledging one of them. And I'm to believe that she'll be fair?

When I rushed, our counselor told us that no one ever got cut by everyone after first parties. One girl did and others were almost totally cut. They were devastated first by being cut and second by their counselor's untruth.

[lionlove]

Thanks for the advice everyone and keep it coming!

I agree with the whole disaffiliation idea and I see the reason for it. Unfortunatly, on my campus we have deferred rush until the fall of sophmore year so the PNMs see us affiliated with our chapters for a whole year before rush. Also, we apply for the rho chi position during the summer so we are still fully affiliated in the spring before rush.

On my campus we do have an unfortunate history of rho chis pressuring pnms to join their orgs. Almost always, these girls end up depledging and joining another sorority - the one they should have been with in the beginning. It's very sad.

AOIIalum, I won't post my story during rush because I have stated my college name and sorority name several times in previous posts but I'll post something after rush.

[ZTABullwinkle]

Thanks for all of this advice. I am also going to be a Rho Chi at my school. We don't have a humongous turnout, but are hoping for a larger than past turnouts since it being held in the fall. I am sure this advice will come in handy. Keep it coming!!!

[LeslieAGD]

On my campus, we have a couple of sororities that girls tend to flock towards. They're very good at attracting girls during recruitment and they tend to be the typical representation of a sorority that freshmen have in their heads. As a Rho Chi, the best advice my partner and I gave to our girls was open their eyes and follow their hearts. At the beginning of the second day, we sat them down and said, "Many of you are talking about the same sororities and, if many of you are, then other groups might be saying the same thing. Really look at all the sororities and give them a fair chance...If you still want the sorority you're mentioning now at the end of the week, that's wonderful! But make sure it's where you fit in and will be happy."

*** The key is to make sure you're encouraging them look closely at each sorority, and not to come off as if you're discouraging them from joining the more "popular" groups. Otherwise you may alienate them or make them feel like you're pushing them to certain groups. ***