Scenario (formerly "A Question of Delicacy.....")

[equeen]

OK, here's the scoop!

I'll start with a brief synopsis of the scenario I emailed out to some people:

During rush one semester, there was a miscommunication during our rush. Several young ladies who sought us out, and were very eager about us, suddenly lost interest in us. We weren't sure what had happened; later we saw they had rushed and initiated various BGLOs. We were upset and puzzled (I especially so, I was chairing rush at the time)...what had we done wrong, where had the communication gap occurred? We were excited that these girls were interested in us, and upset at their sudden loss of interest. I think even more so, because the loss in interest was never directly expressed by them; it really only became apparent once they were initiated into other sororities, and wearing letters.

In retrospect, I understand what happened:

(1) these young ladies were already focused on a BGLO they had a calling for.

(2) we (A.S.K.) were mistaken by the young ladies for an honorary sorority of women in technical fields (actually, we are social).

(3) because of the *discretion* imperative to the BGLO intake process (which I can appreciate), the young ladies felt unable to express their loss of interest to us, without compromising their discretion.

I'm glad that the young ladies made the choices dearest to their hearts. However, the communication gap left my sorority in a bind. There must be a way for us to figure out whether a rushee is seriously considering a BGLO, without compromising her discretion.

I'm sure that the question is being asked: "but why do you need to know if they're interested in a BGLO, particularly? Seems like that's none of your business!" And I agree! Here's some perspective:

(1) I don't want to make the assumption that just because a young lady is black, she's only interested in a BGLO. In fact, I have a couple sisters who are black. So it makes sense to ask.

(2) We're not interested in *which* BGLO someone's interested in, just if they're seriously persuing one. It's been my experience that if someone's got AKA/Delta/SGRho/Zeta in their heart at the time we meet them, there is little possibility that they will find that a different sisterhood is acutlly better suited to them. If that's the case, then even if (mistaken) interest is shown on their part (which is part of what happened), we can act accordingly in terms of our own interest. Which brings me to my third point:

(3) Sometimes it's easier to accomplish more if you know the right thing to say. If we (A.S.K.) could ask/say the right *general* thing, and get either a positive or negative response, perhaps we could accomplish our ends and not compromise a potential opportunity.

OK, so that's the scenario and a bit of background. I will post responses a bit later, work calls!

[This message has been edited by equeen (edited June 13, 2000).]

[humblebumblebee]

Can't you just say, when telling "rushes" about your sorority, "A.S.K. is a social sorority, and should not be confused with profession sororities. The difference between social and professional sororities is..." That would weed out the misinformed before you take steps to bring them into your sisterhood.
Just a suggestion.
HumbleBumbleBee

[equeen]

humblebumblebee, good point. This and other suggestions are coming in -- I'm still getting responses! Thanks to all of you. That, combined w/ being swamped at work, is creating a delay in sorting through and posting a general response. I could just post everyone's emails as they were sent to me, however there's a lot of repetition in the suggestions (great minds think alike, apparently!), plus I don't have the responders' permission to do so. My plan is to post sometime next week! Again, apologies for the delay.

Thanks!

[BFulton]

equeen,

Looking back, I think our sorority may have experienced the same sort of situation. Because we have a major requirement (agricultural) we've had people assume membership is open to them even if they are/are becoming members of a general (be it NPC, NPHC or local) sorority. (This is not the case with us.)

We now strongly encourage our chapters to be upfront about this part of our bylaws from the earliest rush/recruitment activities. This way, ladies can discreetly remove themselves from the rush situation at a very early point.

Hope this helps!

[equeen]

BFulton,

It worked for us as well! Watch out below, I finally have all the responses organized, collated, and copied!

[equeen]

At long last, here it is!
First of all: my thanks once again to all the ladies who took their time and effort to respond to this. I know it's a delicate subject, and perhaps not the most easy to deal with. Thank you all for your courtesy and consideration. My special thanks to Zeta Ace, who cheered me on!

It's said that great minds think alike - and it certainly shows in the similarity of ideas in everyone's responses. Here are some of the ideas:

(1) Make it extremely clear earl in rush, in no uncertain terms, exactly who and what you are (ie. a *social* sorority, not honorary or professional), thus eliminating the chance of a mix-up, and allowing rushees to remove themselves from our rush without incident.

(2) Ask a general question about a rushee's interest in other GLOs (such as "Are you interested in going through formal rush?" or "Are you interested in an NPHC sorority?")...this eliminates a breach of discretion, as well as giving us an idea of a rushee's interest.

(3) Have 2 different info meetings, one at the beginning and end of rush. The first one would be introductory and informal; the second would be more formal. A good way to determine real interest on a rushee's part would be to observe their *consistent* attendance at these and other events.

(4) Ask a different sort of question: "Are you interested in the goals and ideal of Alpha Sigma Kappa," or "Tell me why you're interested in Alpha Sigma Kappa," as opposed to "Are you interested in another sorority."

(5) Take a critical look at the rush structure, and ensure that the events/info. meetings are structured to maximize everyone's benefit: us for finding out about rushees, and vice versa.

Give those who may have mistaken A.S.K. for an honorary or professional org. the chance to find out up front that we are, in fact, social.

(6) Above all else, remember that this will not eliminate misunderstandings 100%...and sometimes it's not anything that could've been prevented. The example given was that a young woman was on line for ABC, dropped out, and a year later was on line for XYZ...not aboveboard, but it happened. (Actually...it happened to us too, but that's another discussion for another thread! )


My comments on these suggestions:

(1) Excellent idea! We did exactly that, even as far back as that rush (this was a couple years ago). I think the lapse in communication occured because we were so new nationally, and especially on campus. It's not an issue anymore.

(2) I like this suggestion! I think it's acceptable to ask general question about one's general aspirations...I don't think it's compromising to say "Yes, I'm keeping my options open and looking at several GLOs." I don't think it's right to ask which other GLOs a young lady is interested in, or for a prospective to divulge that (whether we're talking about interest in a
BGLO or not)....I think it's rather tacky, actually...and it's insulting to the GLO that's hosting the event.

(3) This is an interesting idea! We've had info meetings before...I don't know if we've ever used the two-pronged approach to informationals, however. It's worth a shot!

(4) I like this idea too! I think we do this already, though perhaps the question is not asked directly.

(5) This idea dovetails neatly with #3, methinks. Our rush is ever evolving (as I think it needs to be for a new GLO or chapter, there's no way to know what structure will suit your goals/ideals, as well as your campus), and could always be improved.

(6) A great point, and thanks to Shel for the gentle reminder. We're human, not perfect, and honest mistakes do happen. I do understand that, and I absolutely no ill will to the young ladies in question...truth be known, I have classes with a couple of the ladies, and a couple others and I share major...so I see them daily, for homework groups, or project groups...I've been to a couple of events (social and philanthropic) that respective sisterhoods have hosted, and a fun time was had by all!

Thanks once again to all of you, sister-friends!


------------------
equeen
Alpha Sigma Kappa - Women in Technical Studies

"...if we want to make deserts bloom, we can do it!" -- Eleanor Roosevelt

ERIN GO BRAUGH!

[This message has been edited by equeen (edited June 26, 2000).]