I'se Married Now

9dstpm · #1 07-14-2002, 01:02 AM

Hi Sorors, Sisterfirends, and Fellow GC'ers!!!!

I need some HELP!!! I am getting married in February of 2003 and since I didn't have a wedding the 1st time around, I want to do it up right. I have no idea where to start. My fiance and I have both been married before so we want something simple yet fun. The wedding web sites (The Knot and Wedding Channel) are geared toward white, first time brides and grooms who have a lot of cash to spend, and this is not us. We are Black, broke second-timers

. Also, my fiance is a Kappa and since we love our organizations so much, we want to use that as our theme. Any information on where we can find Black Greek wedding invites as well as African wedding supplies and especially any tips on how to save money on a wedding will be gratefully appreciated!! THANK YOU!!!

CrimsonTide4 · #2 07-14-2002, 12:25 PM

I went to Yahoo and typed in Afrocentric weddings and quite a few websites popped up. Hopefully the sites will be helpful for you.

snuggles12 · #3 07-14-2002, 12:41 PM

Below is a link for african themed weddings.

http://www.africanweddingguide.com/

There is a african wedding planning book by Harriet Cole, "Jumping the Broom."

Also, on the ultimatewedding.com site, there is a African American message board and you can chat with others.

Congratulations!

9dstpm · #4 07-19-2002, 10:57 PM

Thank you for all of your help!! Right now, we are still deciding on invitations and a place for the ceremony and reception. We have arranged for the honeymoon. We are going to Disney World!! I will keep everyone posted!!

CodeBlue_R3 · #5 07-20-2002, 11:05 PM

Aww we looking forward to the same month-only I'm not getting married my man will be back-Yippeeeeeeeeeeee!!! (Oh yes, I went there-lol)

But anyway, We've been putting wedding ideas together piece by piece. Why type are you looking for? We are going for extreme formal wedding, and cajun comfort reception. To make our family types feel at ease.

At the wedding we are going to have a full orchestra.
The reception the infamous cajun-hispanic buffet.

You could have a theme like things are always better the second time around. Or something catchy like that.

Weddings for dummies, ettiquette, and planning your wedding are good books especially with questions for caterers, photographers, sites, etc.

Need more drop me a message (Kind of in a hurry sorry).

FanCy · #6 07-22-2002, 09:08 PM

Hey my greek sister! My soror just got married this past weekend and I have some pictures on my digital cam if you would like to see them, email me at renee@fancygels.com
She had a very nice and simple African Wedding.

Fancy

miss priss · #7 07-25-2002, 10:12 PM

I am very familiar with the Saginaw area....
Here are some ideas that may help you

Dress Options
Go to David's Bridal...go strawberry red or cream.... be daring! Buy a bridesmaids dress you like...catch the sales now!Have a PROFESSIONAL seamstress help you pick a pattern and alter the dress to your liking.
Do the same for your girls...they allllllways have specials in the off seasons...sometimes you can get the girls dresses for under 100 dollars make sure to get dresses the girls can wear again...trust me it keeps the gripes down
For the flowergirls,buy their dresses after Christmas at Marshal Fields....or ck out VIP for kids...yeah yeah I know they can get cheesy but sometimes they have nice flower girl dresses under $45.....Tots and Lots in Flint is good too

Tux
Instead of a tux opt for NICE black suits or Navy colored Jackets with white pants and red bow ties (do the nauitical thang!)... you can rent the vest and tie for the black suits providing the guys all have the same suit.....at least guys can keep them

Flowers
Now Arties is good but carry something different like handheld baby's breath very chic and popular in the fashion world....
verbinium mixed with fresh greens is beautiful
carnations are the cheapest flowers and they are fashionably popular when carried in a bunch...play with color expand your floral options other than carrying roses....

Cake
This lady that works in BV's water dept. makes GOOD cakes and she is cheap too! Dorothy makes a mean cake too ... a little pricy though....

DJ
Get DJ madmyke he is the bomb and he is cheap...trust me

Stationery
Exquisite Events by Christine Tillman she is realllly good alittle pricy but good
or make your own buy rice paper and print them yourself

Reception
Horizons is good but HIGH! Try Candelite or Holiday Inn in BV
Spend most of your money here folks loveeee to eat

African Traditions
Pour a libation in honor of loved ones who have past
Jump the broom...oldie but goodie
Go to Amy's African Hair Braiding they are really nice and can give you some ideas
Have your bridesmaids dance and sing in celebration around you as they walk you in with a bongo player drumming
There is an African troupe who does these kinds of things they perform in the school districts ask your sorors....
if you didn't notice I do this for a living part time
GOOD Luck!!!!

9dstpm · #8 07-31-2002, 07:40 PM

@ Miss Priss: are you from Saginaw or used to live in Saginaw at one time or another?? You seem to know a lot!!! At one time, I wanted to go with red, but I got chicken and backed down. I was going to use the Plaza Hotel downtown, but right now, I don't know (read below). PM me if you can.

For everyone else:

Weddings are HARD WORK!!! LOL!! The guest list has gone from 50 people to nearly 125 and growing!!!People are upset that there will be no alcohol at the reception, they keep on complaining and there will be NO reception!! My fiance and I are REALLLLLY reconsidering eloping to Vegas (a plan that has become even more tempting ever since we got those free tickets from United for giving up our seats on a flight we recently took back to my home state of MS) Both families want us to invite cousins and other family members that we haven't seen in umpteen years and both sets of parents want to invite co-workers and friends, while we are feeling bad b/c we can't invite all the members of our respective chapters from our organizations. So we developed a saying: PAY FOR YOUR SAY. This means that if you are not contributing in anyway to the wedding, please keep all opinions to yourself. Obviously, this does not work on black folk. So until we come up with a workable solution: *singing Elvis' "Viva Las Vegas"*

Thanks for the suggestions; keep 'em coming!!!

9dstpm · #9 08-12-2002, 02:06 AM

Hello Sorors, SF's and fellow GC'ers:

I have yet another wedding quandry for all of you and I need some opinions. Here's the situation:

We have decided to have hors d'oveures (I hope I spelled that right) and wedding cake along with sparkling punch and spring water for the reception at the ballroom of a local hotel.

With our invitations, we are going to send out RSVP cards AND add postage to them so that all people have to do is fill it out and drop it in the mail.

The situation is this: my fiance's very large family is not quite up to date on etiquette. They feel that since this is family, they can show up without RSVP'ing and bring additional guests. I feel that this will not be fair to the two of us since we are paying for this. I want to do either one of two things:

1. Withhold the location of the reception until the person RSVP's and/or
2. Keep a list of all guests who RSVP and only allow those people to enter the reception.

I don't want to be mean or cruel, and I certainly don't want to step on anyone's toes but I don't want to be embarrased by running out of food or having to pay more money on the spot for extra food.

What do you think? All opinions and suggestions are welcome. Thanks!

12dn94dst · #10 08-12-2002, 08:17 AM

Make your day as stress/embarassment free as possible. If you haven't already, explain things to them they way you explained it to us. Let them know that if they don't RSVP or if they do & bring extra people, they will be turned away. I like both the ideas you have, although knowing how folks talk, the first one may backfire. I think you have more control with checking the guests against the list.

CrucialCrimson · #11 08-12-2002, 12:33 PM

As frustrating as it can be to deal with some folks, bad etiquette isn't made better by more bad etiquette. One thing that may help is to have some "PR folks" on his family help spread the word that only invited guests need to come and that an RSVP is required - a guest list at the door isn't a bad idea, but the "enforcement" of it can lead to so much drama that you won't want that day. Also, I wasn't sure if the appetizers and cake plan was in addition to a meal or if that was the full plan - if that is the plan, unintended guests should be anticipated and factored in the head count - you may even have to follow with those that do RSVP with a phone call thanking them for RSVP'ing and reminding them of the expectations.

4MYPEOPLE · #12 08-12-2002, 02:06 PM

Hey...as a person who has helped and loves weddings... I will tell you that you want to avoid confronting people at the reception at ALL COSTS...it gets ugly, embarrasing, and unfortunately when it isnt your family, you look like the bad guy. Husbands usually hide because they dont want to have to tell aunt Bertha that she shouldnt have brought the kids she baby sits (hahaha)

These are hints I give people...hope it helps

1. Write in the names on the rsvp card and number in parenthesis..and only have them check yes or no (regrets, accepts etc.) Mr and Mrs John Doe (2)

2. Call everyone (have someone else do it, a friend of yours etc. who doesnt know the family) to say they have not RSVP'ed and in order for them to have a space you need to know whos coming. This is for your sanity and financial responsibility...there that person can weed out the extras and get a real head count of those who didnt rsvp

9dstpm · #13 08-12-2002, 04:06 PM

THANK YOU for your suggestions!!! I will definitely use them to keep my reception as drama free as possible!!! I would have never thought to write the people's names on the cards and just allow them to accept or regret only!!!

IMHO: once the partiers in his family finds out that there will be no alcohol at the reception and that only hors d'oveures and cake will be served, it may reduce the head count dramatically. My fiance told me that the last family member who had a no-alcohol reception had it last only 2-3 hours; people only stayed long enough to see the cake cutting

Thank you for your suggestions

PenguinTrax · #14 08-12-2002, 04:36 PM

Outer Envelope (gets the invite to the destination):

Mr & Mrs John Smith

Inner envelope (addressed to those folks actually invited):

John & Nancy Smith
Bobby Smith

Eclipse · #15 08-13-2002, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by PnguinTrax
Outer Envelope (gets the invite to the destination):

Mr & Mrs John Smith

Inner envelope (addressed to those folks actually invited):

John & Nancy Smith
Bobby Smith

I know that is the proper thing to do PnguinTrax, but I know MANY people who ignore that. My mom is from a small town and typically a wedding invitation was read in church and everyone was invited. No need to RSVP. Folks just assumed if they heard about the wedding they were invited LOL

That being said, I think you've gotten some good advice. Let others in the family spread the word. When you or your fiance are in casual conversation about the wedding with others mention how important it is to RSVP.

I had a formal sit down dinner for my reception and even after calling people, getting the word out, etc. I still had folks show up that had not RSVP'd or (and I don't know which one is worst) RSVP'd and then didn't show. The folks that did not RSVP were sufficiently embarassed because they had to wait because when they got to the table with the seat assignments there was no name/place card for them. It was not my intent to embarass, but I overheard someone saying "I'm so glad I RSVP'd!!"