Considering to Rush Again - Page 2

FSUZeta · #1 04-10-2013, 09:21 AM

I think they were suggesting you not mention that you had to miss your dear friends funeral because it might come off as confusing. You wrote a wonderful tribute to your friend, and then finished it off by saying that you had to get back to school, which appeared to be 180 degrees out from the things you had said about your friend. But realize that we are reading your responses, not listening to them. Written statements can easily get misconstrued.

I think if you are going to speak about your friend and the influence his life and death had on you, you might want to take the approach that you, he, and your other friends had a sort of unofficial brotherhood, how you were always there for each other and how you are hoping to find similar friendships in a fraternity. But you have to temper what you say because the topic can quickly become uncomfortable for those who did not know your friend. In fact, you might want to just share your feelings about your friends' death with people you are close to. You can let down your guard with close acquaintances and really level with them, something you cannot (or should not) do with people you have just met.

adpiucf · #2 04-10-2013, 09:25 AM

The possibility of being asked this question a second time are slim to none, so just practice a 30-second response and move on. The key in recruitment is to appear confident, approachable, and uncontroversial. Those are transferable skills once you start interviewing for jobs and working in a professional setting, so learn now!

The chances of this fraternity seeking you out a second time are probably also very small. You're that strange guy who idolizes Joe Paterno and hung around the party too long. People remember that stuff. Sure, go visit them during recruitment, but you only get one chance to make a first impression. I would argue you've made a negative one at this chapter, whereas you might have had a second shot if you simply hadn't talked to enough brothers or flew under the radar and said and did some memorable things. You put yourself on their radar, front and center. Move on and consider other fraternities on your campus. Good luck and I hope things work out next time. I think you may have some work to do on understanding social skills and basic social cues. I don't say any of this to be hurtful or unkind, but to give you something tangible to work on based on your comments here and to hopefully achieve a better outcome in the future.

ringojackson · #3 04-10-2013, 02:06 PM

Honestly, everything that you typed comes off as very awkward.

"Why did you decide to pledge this chapter?”, “What are some of the charity and community service activities you guys do?”, chapter ideals, even praising the mottos after doing some research, and other stuff to get to know them. "
Fraternity rush is not the same as sorority rush. You don't get some kind of prize for knowing about their motto or asking about their community service. The guys don't care about any of that. They just want to know if you're a cool, laidback guy and you'll fit in.
I think if they were asking you A LOT of interview-style questions such as "who is your greatest influence?" that shows they didn't feel comfortable around you, so they felt they had to revert back to textbook questions to fill up the time. Fraternity recruitment is about hanging out with the guys, and having a good time. It's like going to a party and making friends, not trying to impress with knowledge of their fraternity and interest in community service. You can rush again, but frankly I don't think you have a chance at this last fraternity you are referring to. Try to go to a couple new ones, and remember that you're trying to MAKE FRIENDS more than you're trying to impress as you would in an interview
Also, continuing with the party analogy, you never want to be the last one to leave a party. I'm sure you thought it was a good thing, and I'm sure the brothers SEEMED fine with it, but really that doesn't reflect positively on you.

At the risk of appearing crass, I don't think your excuse for not attending a friend's funeral makes any sense and you should avoid mentioning that during rush at all costs...

Blue Skies · #4 05-18-2013, 05:29 PM

I agree with Ringojackson. The way that you approaced recruitment last time didn't work, so it's time to try something new. Focus on finding potential friends. Talk about sports, movies, music, TV shows, hobbies, or anything else of a similar nature. Focus on social converstion such as you might have at any college party, or one of your rugby parties.

Rush your friends' chapters and the chapters of your rugby teammates. Perhaps try some other new ones as well. Get around at any given party to meet as many members as you can. Do you know how to make people laugh? It's a valuable skill. If you can make people laugh they will remember you.

rock5060 · #5 07-02-2013, 09:37 PM

thanks for your response. rushing my teammate fraternity won't work anymore cuz their chapter got revoked. i'll keep that in mind though.

als463 · #6 07-03-2013, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rock5060

thanks for your response. rushing my teammate fraternity won't work anymore cuz their chapter got revoked. i'll keep that in mind though.

I am going to say this as a proud Penn State alumna (and I'm sure other GCers on here can attest to how much PSU pride I have)...I would not go around telling people that someone you look up to is Joe Paterno. I do love JoePa and I cried when he passed away. In fact, I was proud to meet his son when he met with my Alumni Chapter for our annual dinner. The truth is that to some people, it can be very controversial, as you noted. I love PSU and I bleed blue and white but, because I don't know everything that happened and I don't know if he shirked his duties (I truly hope not), I realize that some people could even be offended that you look up to him. Many people who don't know anything about him associate him with being an enabler. Even though I do not believe he would allow for those things to knowingly go on, I have still been sure to take his motto out of my email signature line and I do not go out and defend his actions on a regular basis. It can also be a very sore spot to victims of sexual abuse. Please tread lightly and think of someone else who can be a great inspiration to you.

Good luck with Rush!