University of Mississippi - Ole Miss Panhellenic Sorority Recruitment 2013

[Hearttoheart]

As a mom, this is the most confusing part about recruitment. As an advisor to my daughter, I am lost! My older daughter is an active member of a sorority at another SEC school. She said that drinking with actives happens all the time and that sororities look the other way. She said I'm being paranoid and nobody cares if girls drink. Girls with MIP's still get bids to top houses.

I was just wondering how this is viewed at Ole Miss. My daughter has a 3.5 gpa, cheered in high school and has over 300 volunteer hours. I would hate for bad advise to ruin her chances at rush.

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

As a mom, this is the most confusing part about recruitment. As an advisor to my daughter, I am lost! My older daughter is an active member of a sorority at another SEC school. She said that drinking with actives happens all the time and that sororities look the other way. She said I'm being paranoid and nobody cares if girls drink. Girls with MIP's still get bids to top houses.

I was just wondering how this is viewed at Ole Miss. My daughter has a 3.5 gpa, cheered in high school and has over 300 volunteer hours. I would hate for bad advise to ruin her chances at rush.

As a mom myself, I would be more worried that advising my daughter to drink socially while underage would teach her that rules are arbitrary - that it is ok to break the law if it increases your chances to get into a sorority. I think there is a bigger life lesson here than sorority rush.

I think it stinks that chapter members put you, and your daughter, in this position.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

With recruitment six weeks into the start of classes, how important is reputation?

I would put reputation right up there WITH grades - not even as a #2. If you have a crummy reputation, no amount of 4.0s will help you.

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

Does a successful recruitment mean the PNM's stay out of the bars and situations where alcohol is present?

I would say that she doesn't have to stay totally away from situations with alcohol present, but she should not be hoisting one herself.
I don't care what older daughter says, PNMs should not risk their fragile reputations by drinking. People are watching, all the time, and talking. PNMs are held to a different, higher standard...especially at Ole Miss, from what I know. It will NOT help in recruitment...in fact, it may deeply hurt. I'm not talking about a glass of wine at home with the parents. I'm talking about 1-2-3 beers at a frat party or somebody's apartment.

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

Last I checked, underage drinking was against the law.

It still is!

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

My older daughter...said that drinking with actives happens all the time and that sororities look the other way. She said I'm being paranoid and nobody cares if girls drink...I would hate for bad advice to ruin her chances at rush.

It does happen, and the vast majority of underage kids can have a drink or two and quit. Yes, some go off the deep end and stay drunk. They don't last long in school. And yes, there are PLENTY of students who don't drink. They're just not as vocal as those who do.

Older daughter, I'm guessing, has a year in college and is now an expert on all things collegiate?
With recruitment being so competitive, I would not give ANY sorority an extra reason to release me. Younger daughter can smile and be polite when she turns down the booze. She can ask for a soft drink, ask for a Sprite or 7-Up, or even water. Be sure she asks for an unopened bottle or can that she opens herself...and don't set it down and walk away and then come back to drink from it.

My best to you...and her!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

As a mom, this is the most confusing part about recruitment. As an advisor to my daughter, I am lost! My older daughter is an active member of a sorority at another SEC school. She said that drinking with actives happens all the time and that sororities look the other way. She said I'm being paranoid and nobody cares if girls drink. Girls with MIP's still get bids to top houses.

I was just wondering how this is viewed at Ole Miss. My daughter has a 3.5 gpa, cheered in high school and has over 300 volunteer hours. I would hate for bad advise to ruin her chances at rush.

Yeah, I would err on the side of NO.

I get that PNMs are not angels. But when you drink with active members, you open the door for WAY too many variables of things that could TANK your recruitment.

If you're not doing it, then you don't have to concern yourself with backtracking to clean up drama that ensues from "OMG THAT PNM PUKED ON MY SHOES."

[33girl]

Originally Posted by TSteven

The issue at Ole Miss is that recruitment is held in late September or early October (maybe into mid October some years). So a PNM will already be on campus and possibly invited to parties (fraternity and otherwise) as a student.

I understand that. I'm saying that this

Originally Posted by Hearttoheart

She attended two spring parties

is a v.v. bad idea unless you are with friends who will look out for you.

As far as when you actually get to school, in this kind of environment where rush is so competitive, I'm going to say that no, it will not kill you to stay away from parties for a month, unless you want to scuttle your chances for the rest of your college career. There will be lots more parties to go to. Ditto fraternity parties or dates. The last thing you want is for Joe Schmo to invite you over to his house for dinner in September, then walk into rush in October with a chapter you love and find out the president is Joe's on again-off again girlfriend. Make up a hometown boyfriend for a month and a half. Trust me, it is way, way, WAY easier.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I understand that. I'm saying that this



is a v.v. bad idea unless you are with friends who will look out for you.

As far as when you actually get to school, in this kind of environment where rush is so competitive, I'm going to say that no, it will not kill you to stay away from parties for a month, unless you want to scuttle your chances for the rest of your college career. There will be lots more parties to go to. Ditto fraternity parties or dates. The last thing you want is for Joe Schmo to invite you over to his house for dinner in September, then walk into rush in October with a chapter you love and find out the president is Joe's on again-off again girlfriend. Make up a hometown boyfriend for a month and a half. Trust me, it is way, way, WAY easier.

I'm not sure about Ole Miss, but back in the UT days (and probably to this day from what I'm told) this sort of thing is how many actives actually meet the PNM's outside of "the process". We always talk about how the NPC recruitment process is so staid and hard to get to know people, I do think there is SOME merit to meeting people in a casual environment.

Trust me, I get "not going out because you could be an idiot or make a foul up" but my guess is that MOST PNM's are hypersensitive to that sort of thing anyway, and are doing everything they can to be on their best behavior. This just gives them a chance to meet other sorority women outside of the formal rush process.

[Titchou]

Why is it confusing? Does she really want to be a member of group that requires she drink while underage to join? Seems like a no brainer to me.

[thetalady]

Consider that offering alcohol could also be a "test" of the PNM... let's see how she handles some pressure to do something that she shouldn't. Will this girl turn into a sloppy, bowl hugging drunken embarrassment without the good judgement to know to quit? Or is she mature enough to trust with our letters and reputation?

[Old_Row]

I would completely stay away from parties. I am not a prude and yes there can be a lot of underage drinking but there are too many other things that can happen In a party environment even if she doesn't drink. All she has to do is get a little too much attention from a guy a member is crushing on or her boyfriend or anything like that. Then the rumors start to fly and every sorority member talks to another and suddenly she's that girl who steals boyfriends or even worse if you know what I mean. Better to be sweet and nice to everyone you meet but stay out of situations where bad things might happen. There will be plenty of fun times ahead once you're going out with your sisters!

[MaryPoppins]

What all y'all said.

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[33girl]

Originally Posted by thetalady

Consider that offering alcohol could also be a "test" of the PNM... let's see how she handles some pressure to do something that she shouldn't. Will this girl turn into a sloppy, bowl hugging drunken embarrassment without the good judgement to know to quit? Or is she mature enough to trust with our letters and reputation?

Originally Posted by Old_Row

I would completely stay away from parties. I am not a prude and yes there can be a lot of underage drinking but there are too many other things that can happen In a party environment even if she doesn't drink. All she has to do is get a little too much attention from a guy a member is crushing on or her boyfriend or anything like that. Then the rumors start to fly and every sorority member talks to another and suddenly she's that girl who steals boyfriends or even worse if you know what I mean. Better to be sweet and nice to everyone you meet but stay out of situations where bad things might happen. There will be plenty of fun times ahead once you're going out with your sisters!

This and this. The guy issue is probably even more of a gnarly dilemma than the alcohol issue.

P.S. High school students shouldn't be going to college parties, period, unless they are accompanied by a family member or friend who never lets them out of their sight. If I saw "randoms" who had tried to get into our parties going through rush, I would want them immediately cut...regardless of recs or anything else...it's just not their place.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by 33girl

This and this. The guy issue is probably even more of a gnarly dilemma than the alcohol issue.

P.S. High school students shouldn't be going to college parties, period, unless they are accompanied by a family member or friend who never lets them out of their sight. If I saw "randoms" who had tried to get into our parties going through rush, I would want them immediately cut...regardless of recs or anything else...it's just not their place.

The issue at Ole Miss is that recruitment is held in late September or early October (maybe into mid October some years). So a PNM will already be on campus and possibly invited to parties (fraternity and otherwise) as a student. Also, recruitment is smack dab in the middle of football season. Drinking in The Grove on a football Saturday? I am shocked.

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by 33girl

P.S. High school students shouldn't be going to college parties, period, unless they are accompanied by a family member or friend who never lets them out of their sight. If I saw "randoms" who had tried to get into our parties going through rush, I would want them immediately cut...regardless of recs or anything else...it's just not their place.

I don't understand if she is talking about regular college parties or pre-recruitment type parties.

I know that groups here have spring and summer parties that are specifically for pre-PNMs. They are "unofficial" but they are how you break into the top groups. If a PNM was invited and didn't attend, I can't imagine recruitment would go well for her.

[Titchou]

We are talking about regular college parties at fraternity houses and the like. Not recruitment oriented single sex parties....

[DubaiSis]

I think it's important to be seen as social, but this is graduate level socializing for undergrads. She needs to be there and be a play along girl BUT she needs to not get drunk and ugly, and not slutty. Learning to walk that line of being friendly with guys (and gals) while not appearing to be hitting on him or sucking up to her is really tricky. Unfortunately, the best place to learn how to "work a room" is through sorority membership. So how do you learn how to behave correctly for the best possible sorority outcome? Be in a sorority. Hmmmmm.