I'm a PNM who's kind of thinking of depledging...

[Larkspur12]

As someone who had doubts about going Greek (and for a short while after pledging, had doubts about staying Greek, too), I don't think that what you're experiencing -- worrying about fitting in, etc -- is particularly unusual, and to an extent I understand it.

What sort of rubs me the wrong way, though, is that you sound like you've basically made up your mind about your chapter already. It just sounds as if you've already decided that this chapter and these girls are not for you. It's also just sort of puzzling to me that you would go through rush "on a whim" despite apparently having numerous other time commitments. Maybe that should have been something you thought through a bit more before going through the process.

In my opinion, if you think there is a chance you could manage to do both your church activities and your sorority activities and you are willing to get to know the members of your chapter and have an open mind about Greek life, then you should give it some time and go through the new member period. But if you're sure you don't have time to be in a sorority, or you don't have an interest in ignoring a few rumors and trying to form bonds with the members of your chapter, then you should depledge, because you're wasting your chapter's time as well as your own.

[justgo_withit]

Well there are two different issues here, a. time conflict and b. concerned about your sorority's reputation. Some people's responses focus on just one of the issues, so don't think that someone telling you to stop being so judgy is saying so because of the time conflict or whatever.

As for a., what did you expect people to say? Mandatory meetings are mandatory, we can't change that. My NM class of 20 was able to find a time that worked for all of us, but if yours can't do that then they've got to go with the time that works best for everyone. Chapter is chapter and it's not going anywhere. None of us know if you can make the mandatory meetings not mandatory.

As for b., saying that you're worried because someone told you stuff is a lame reason to say your sisters are wild. And no actually, it's not hard to ignore a reputation when you take the time to get to know your sisters and then realize that it's completely wrong. Comments like "I don't know if I'm cut out to be a sister" don't make much sense because that could be for any number of reasons, spanning anywhere from "I'm secretly a guy" to "I don't want to put in the effort to create these bonds". We don't know you, we can't give you step-by-step instructions on what to do here.

This is the Internet. We only know as much as you put out there. So no, dropping a hint that you were happy to be wanted is not going to make most people go "this girl has low self esteem I should be really nice to her!!!" This isn't about you personally, posters have no idea who you are. There's a chance for each of us that you're talking badly about our sisters and that is something that is universally no bueno.

[IrishLake]

Something tells me that if the OP had indeed gotten a bid from her first choice, the conflicting schedule with church wouldn't be an issue. You can find a way to still be involved with church. New member meetings don't last forever, but chapter/sisterhood meetings are necessary. She had to have thought about that possibility when going through recruitment.

[ASUADPi]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Something tells me that if the OP had indeed gotten a bid from her first choice, the conflicting schedule with church wouldn't be an issue. You can find a way to still be involved with church. New member meetings don't last forever, but chapter/sisterhood meetings are necessary. She had to have thought about that possibility when going through recruitment.

I think you are right.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Something tells me that if the OP had indeed gotten a bid from her first choice, the conflicting schedule with church wouldn't be an issue. You can find a way to still be involved with church. New member meetings don't last forever, but chapter/sisterhood meetings are necessary. She had to have thought about that possibility when going through recruitment.

I think you are right. Is it horrible that my opinion is that she should just go ahead and quit now, so that her sorority might be able to pick up a girl to fill her spot right away (hopefully a girl that actually wants it) and the new girl can be initiated right along with the rest of the new members?

[SoCalGirl]

OP - Honestly, if you already know that your other activities will conflict with chapter meetings you should probably depledge now. I don't think it'll get easier once your a full sister and required at even more events than you would be as a new member. Many chapters fine sisters that miss require events. If your unhappy now, imagine having to shell out cash on top of everything.