bitchy sisters

[JMUduke]

i rushed last year, and i lived in the house. at first i thought it was great, but the more i think about it, i wonder why i am even part of the sorority. my sisters are so uptight and bitchy, and since i was an officer i was bitched at/to A LOT. i am beginning to think about depinning because our sorority lacks the unity it needs to work together, we lost a lot of girls 1st and 2nd semester, and everyone is discouraged because we have no socials, no mixers, and one semi-formal. the officers we do have just can't seem to get it together to plan stuff for the sisters to do, so it ended up the house girls making arrangements for parties with frats or teams our boyfreinds were in, instead of the actual officer planning what she was supposed to do. no one wants to live in the house anymore, which results in further arguments, and the president complains non-stop about how depressed she is because of the work she has. i do not know what to do, i feel like giving up, but i love the sisters i got from my pledge class...and i feel like my dues are being wasted. what can i possibly do?

[33girl]

you need two things quickly!

1. a sister retreat

2. alumnae assistance

Have an overnight lock-in where everyone gets to vent - I think there are some ideas about this under chapter operations. losing lots of members, either thru graduation or terminations is a very stressful thing. But you need to not focus on what you lost and concentrate on what you still have.

NOVA is a rapidly growing area, and even if alums from your specific chapter can't help, there is probably an alum chapter somewhat near you that could help you out with officer planning and such.

Forget about anything that happened the last month of school, because everyone is insane then. Period.

I'm not sure of the housing situation down there, but if the house is causing giant problems and it's feasible, either get a smaller one or get rid of the house altogether.

[JMUduke]

thanks...i re-read my post and now it sounds like i am bitching too, which in a way i am. but i really did love my chapter when i first rushed, and now i constantly wonder what would have happened had i pledged another sorority at my school. when we get back to school in the fall, i am definitley going to bring this up with standards and hope for the best, i have to live in the house for one more year (officer requirements), so at the least i have a year to think about it...hopefully a year will change my mind. i just feel frustrated when so many people are as discouraged by our chapter as i am....

[Tom Earp]

It is sad but once again the 80-20 % rule rears its head again!

80 % dont do S&^% and 20 % do the work!

We have what is called pass the gavel which is bitch session after the formal meeting is over. It is suppose to stay in the room and not carry over, but knowing the human species, it will!

Sometimes it is good to air the dirty laundry out and clear the air!

If Officers are not doing the job, get them out as will do nothing but drag down the Org. I know, I have seen it and we as a Chapter are trying to dig out from under it now!

If you are a position to make changes get with some other think alikes and do it!

When school starts againg, it is like a fresh start.

It is do or die for the Chapter! I know you do not want to be the reason the chapter is gone and I am sure there are others who think like you do but have no leader at the Wheel to stear the course!

[VT Tri-D]

x

[PhiSigGabs]

Sorry about your situation, no greek should be that unhappy with the standards of their living arrangments and the behavior of their sisters/brothers. We have a bitch session as well called Roses and Thorns. We start off on a positive note, but it usually ends up with the "thorn" part coming alive. The darn things can last for hours, but sometimes that's just what you need to properly settle things. We always end the session on a good note though (hence the "rose" part).

We had a mandatory Vision Retreat when it seemed our chapter was getting "cliqish" and a little out of hand. Seriously it brought everyone so closer cuz we realized our individual needs and came up with ways to work them our together. You can make these retreats fun by planning teamwork games and bringing lots of snacks, and cameras are always good too.

I hope everything works out for you

~Rebecca


"It's a PHI SIG thing"

"I'd rather laugh with the sinners then cry with the saints...the sinners have MUCH more fun"

[JMUduke]

thanks to everyone for the advice! i'd rather not say which sorority i'm in, but one of our problems is that we have really strong nationals which keep us from doing things other sororities get to participate in at school, such as specific parties off campus that are held in one place all the time. i'm sure vt knows about foxfields? well this year we supposedly had a plot there, and maybe a total of 8 sisters showed up for it, we had no car there, nothing like the other schools sororities. no one cares! i ended up going with someone from a different school! it is just so disheartening. the president of our sorority has already been brought to standards once because she apparently doesn't do half of the work she is supposed to be doing...and a lot of other specific issues about being devoted to the sorority fall apart when everyone points a finger at her.
Oh well...there isn't really anything I can do for another 2 months...

[FHwku]

I'm sure our fraternity is like any other organization, when it comes down to major infrastructural changes. If "Ashley" sees something they want changed, they "bitch" to a few people about it. Sort of...feel out the climate; find out who wants the same or who could help. Little mini-meetings and then some Rolling Rock and tostitos. Or tostitos and "33" during the little meetings. chip away at it, instead of getting bogged down in meetings with the entire organization once a week.

there are lots of ways to battle through it, i'm sure you and your group will survive if yall want it, too. you obviously care about it enough to try and improve, and you said you love your pledge sisters. it's just gonna feel like wading through molasses...

wish you luck

[babysquirrelnmc]

I'm so sorry that this is happening but there are many people who feel the same way. The key is sisterhood games, retreats, ideas. You need to bring the love back. You don't have to wait two months before you can take action, do something about it now! Email the sisters are discouraged like yourself and tell them that you care. Sometimes sisters forget that we are supposed to love eachother and be there, so remind everyone of why they became a part of your GLO in the first place. Try to spend time with them, in groups or one-on-one. At the first sisters meeting, discuss how you've been feeling and then discuss ways to solve it. They're your best friends, and they're there to help you. So, moral of the story is START NOW! Tell your sisterhood coordinator to get on the ball. Take the initiatve which is the first step towards a better chapter. Have a, well we call it rose/thorn fireside. That's when you sit in a circle and tell the bad things, but then you HAVE to end on a good note. Don't be discouraged, find the good in what you think has become the bad. The silver lining doesn't disappear, it just turns colors, so you have to polish it! Hope that helped.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I tried to post earlier, but it got lost in cyberspace.
I think that your sorority needs to get together a few times for purely social bonding events like a pool party or barbeque. I also think that each sister need to write a mission statement with goals for the sorority and her position. Good luck!

[SATX*APhi]

JMUduke

I PM'd you.