How often do greek life people have outsider BF's/GF's

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by xstalkrx

Another red flag is when she agreed that if she hadn't joined a sorority, we would probably still be together.

She's not your sleep around kind of girl though. She's not the type to have one night stands or anything. I think, as was mentioned by others, she found someone who has more in common with where she is in life. We were compatible in the long term. We agreed on just about all social issues and how things should be.

But, she's young and wants to live like the college girl she is I suppose. You're right, if the relationship had meant enough to her, she would have been more acomadating. She sure put on a good front for me though.

You're hurting...we get that. However, I wouldn't put too much stock in the comment about still being together if she hadn't joined a sorority. The sorority was most likely a symptom and not the cause of your relationship problems. Either way, she's moved on and it's time for you to do the same.

As an aside, my husband did not go to college - in fact, in his culture kids were expected at around age 13 to get a full time job and help support the family - and it can be difficult to share a similar viewpoint on things, namely social activities. Even as an adult, in general I see a very different set of social activities in those who went college and those who didn't.

[xstalkrx]

ok my username is just an old gamertag. I am not a creep. lol.

I do have a new girlfriend now but I'm just trying to get a better understanding of Greek life at this point since I didn't join a frat in college. I did go to college but the job I chose is unusual and doesn't require a major college or a 4 year degree.

Do you think that when two people, who are dating, and are in the same college and Greek life circle, tire of each other from seeing each other all the time? Or does the interesting dynamic of new events/parties keep things fresh?

Do you guys/girls who are living in your sorority/fraternity house get tired of Greek life in general by the time your last year comes around?

Do you find that most people marry the man/woman they meet in their college or in their Greek life circle?

[DubaiSis]

To the question do we get sick of Greek life by the time we graduate? In my case, HELL YES. But I think that's part of the growing process. I personally could not have gone on to any graduate school without some sort of newsworthy violence happening eventually. Others have a greater tolerance for crowds, groups, social requirements, etc. And some just refuse to ever grow up, and instead of being the pathetic guy who never moves beyond high school becomes the pathetic guy who never moves beyond college. The 2nd semester of my senior year was painful, and probably twice as painful for my sorority sisters who had to tolerate me.

If I can offer a little advice on how to deal with lack of closure? Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. There are 900 times in your life you're not going to really understand what happened - relationships, job loss, job not gained, deaths - and no matter how much time you spend dwelling on it or asking strangers for the answers or talking to psychics, you're NEVER going to understand. Force yourself to stop thinking about it and eventually it will go away. But it's NEVER going to stop haunting you if you keep dwelling on it.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

To the question do we get sick of Greek life by the time we graduate? In my case, HELL YES. But I think that's part of the growing process. I personally could not have gone on to any graduate school without some sort of newsworthy violence happening eventually. Others have a greater tolerance for crowds, groups, social requirements, etc. And some just refuse to ever grow up, and instead of being the pathetic guy who never moves beyond high school becomes the pathetic guy who never moves beyond college. The 2nd semester of my senior year was painful, and probably twice as painful for my sorority sisters who had to tolerate me.

There's a big difference between being sick of the requirements of Greek life, and being sick of your brothers or sisters. I'm sure the same thing happens with athletes, student senators, etc etc. The OP seems to be asking/hoping if the moment we graduate, do we just leave Greek life on the floor like dirty underwear and never revisit it or the people we met in it again.

[DrPhil]

This also varies by council and conference. What it means to "get over it" and "grow up" tends to be different for members of NPHC orgs. The structure and membership dynamics of NPHC orgs tend to be based on the expectation of a lifetime commitment that hopefully means lifetime involvement for post-college adults.

[flopchop]

I don't really feel like backreading, but I would say that a fraternity member dating a sorority member is more common than a frat member dating someone who is unaffiliated. It is not frowned upon though at my college.

One issue that pops up a lot though that I've not only noticed but experienced with dating unaffiliated girls is a jealousy/trust issue. A lot of girls think that just because you're in a fraternity you're always getting tail. So they never want to leave you alone when there are other girls/liquor involved which can be a problem in any relationship but also when there are mixers with sororities, etc.

It also gets kind of tough when you're trying to balance a relationship, academics and fraternity life. If you choose to attend a brotherhood event rather than hanging out with your squeeze then she won't be too happy. If you continually hang out with your girl instead of your frat bros then they'll start not liking the girl then eventually be a little pissed with you.

If you date a sorority girl, she understands all of this and she is facing the same sort of stuff so I feel like the relationship is a lot more smooth.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by flopchop

I don't really feel like backreading, but I would say that a fraternity member dating a sorority member is more common than a frat member dating someone who is unaffiliated. It is not frowned upon though at my college.

One issue that pops up a lot though that I've not only noticed but experienced with dating unaffiliated girls is a jealousy/trust issue. A lot of girls think that just because you're in a fraternity you're always getting tail. So they never want to leave you alone when there are other girls/liquor involved which can be a problem in any relationship but also when there are mixers with sororities, etc.

It also gets kind of tough when you're trying to balance a relationship, academics and fraternity life. If you choose to attend a brotherhood event rather than hanging out with your squeeze then she won't be too happy. If you continually hang out with your girl instead of your frat bros then they'll start not liking the girl then eventually be a little pissed with you.

If you date a sorority girl, she understands all of this and she is facing the same sort of stuff so I feel like the relationship is a lot more smooth.

uFail. iLaugh.

[flopchop]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

uFail. iLaugh.

umm ok...cool

[jazing]

Originally Posted by flopchop

umm ok...cool

I'll give you points for honesty, her and everywhere especially.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by flopchop

umm ok...cool

Dude if you had bothered to read the thread you would have relized what you said had nothing to do with the actual subject.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

Dude if you had bothered to read the thread you would have relized what you said had nothing to do with the actual subject.

I thought it was on-topic. We went on a tangent, but his response was not off-base.