Should I stick it out on the advisory board or call it quits?

[totallyjersey]

I've been on the advisory board of a college chapter for nearly three years now. I'm at of a bit of a crossroads and would be interested in hearing your experiences.

Two things have been wearing me down: (#1) the forms and (#2) the general atmosphere..

#1 - I am a member of a NPC sorority (that I love!). Since I was an active member (in the mid 90's), the rules have changed considerably. Today there is much more emphasis on record-keeping and “approvals.” The collegians I advise have to fill out a form for everything – before/after they have any type of chapter event, minutes after every meeting, detailed plans for every chapter meeting nearly a semester in advance, etc. And, as an advisor, it's my responsibility to read and approve these forms, as well as hound the collegians when they're not turned in on time. Frankly, many of the forms are a silly waste of time for the collegians (to prepare) and me (to read/approve). Part of what I loved about my undergraduate experience was that my sorority experience helped me develop my leadership skills. I feel this spoon feeding of rules and processes robs the collegians of that opportunity.

#2 – Without going into too much detail: The college attracts very high achieving students and Greek life plays a rather non-traditional role. They do first semester, freshman year recruitment, within the first few days of the school year. Because they have little exposure to the Greek system (or the college experience, for that matter), I think recruitment tends to draw in women who may like the “prestige” of being in a sorority but have little interest in, or understanding of, a long-term commitment. I don't this is specific to my sorority, but reflective of all the sororities on campus – it's just a very unusual atmosphere. (Note: I admit to some prejudice here. My college had deferred - sophomore year - recruitment. I think there's a lot of value in waiting to rush/pledge.)

I became an advisor because I had such a great one years ago. I've always felt a strong desire to give back.

But, I'm worried I'm getting jaded and my feelings are starting to show.

It can sometimes be difficult to find advisors, especially those who show up to stuff and who want to take an active role. So, I've hung in there.

But, should I continue to stick it out? Or, is it time to take a break?

Has anyone had a similar experience?

As always, your help is much appreciated!

[33girl]

Your post reminds me so much of a friend of mine - a super nice and intelligent woman who got out of advising for many of the same reasons you did. She felt that her role as advisor and mentor to the women - i.e, someone they could rely on and be open with - was being compromised by all the paperwork and some of the policies.

Re #2, how is your chapter retention - how many of those women who pledge as first semester freshmen are still active members as graduating seniors? Or the Greek system in general's retention, for that matter?

Yes, a lot of the forms are totally pointless. Yes, a lot of them are only there to cover the butts of the national organization. Unfortunately, that is our crappy litigious society. I would just stop "hounding" the collegians. If they don't turn things in, it is not your job to get them to do so, any more than it is your job to rush new members or go to mixers. If they lose out or get their chapter in trouble because they don't do what they're supposed to, the onus is on them, not on you. If you're getting blamed because they don't have their act together, I would speak with your volunteer coordinator or whatever your GLO calls it. As you so correctly put out, making the advisor into the equivalent of mom doesn't help these women to grow.

[totallyjersey]

33girl, Thanks so much for the reply!

A little more info:

- The chapter's retention is not good. After sophomore year many of the members go inactive. (Candidly, we've even had difficulty getting enough members to show for initiation, which was/is something completely foreign to me. Initiation is, like, the Superbowl for sororities.) That seems to be the pattern across all the sororities on campus. We've taken steps to encourage continuous participation. And, there are those members who stay active through all four years. However, it just seems to be the culture on this particular campus.

- I'm right with you on the whole anti-hounding thing but my national/division people can be a bit... overzealous. I tire of their "gentle reminder" emails when I refuse to nudge my collegians (during finals, or - in one case - during her grandmother's funeral!) for missing form #769.

Wow...

I should add that posting on here has actually been very theraputic...

[violetpretty]

My main question to you is this: are you worn out from all the work (it sounds like you are the chapter advisor/advisory board chair) or is it simply the direction that the role of advisor has changed not to your liking? Or both?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

A word of caution on not doing the paperwork: would you have any personal liability in that type of situation? Like, if you let an event happen that shouldn't, and then something goes wrong?

[totallyjersey]

Hey, Violet! Not the chapter advisor. (She's actually a great, patient, and enthusiastic lady who has been with the chapter for many years!) I'm advisor to a few of the chapter execs (e.g. Education, Membership).

The work isn't wearing me out. I really don't mind it. And, under the right circumstances, I love it!

I just don't know if I like the type of responsibilities. (They've changed considerably since my first go around as an advisor in the late 90's/early 00's.) And maybe I'm not a fit with the culture of the campus/chapter?

[BetteDavisEyes]

Take a break. Step away from advising for a while. I've been around advisors who have done this and returned later after a much deserved/earned break.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by totallyjersey

33girl, Thanks so much for the reply!

A little more info:

- The chapter's retention is not good. After sophomore year many of the members go inactive. (Candidly, we've even had difficulty getting enough members to show for initiation, which was/is something completely foreign to me. Initiation is, like, the Superbowl for sororities.) That seems to be the pattern across all the sororities on campus. We've taken steps to encourage continuous participation. And, there are those members who stay active through all four years. However, it just seems to be the culture on this particular campus.

- I'm right with you on the whole anti-hounding thing but my national/division people can be a bit... overzealous. I tire of their "gentle reminder" emails when I refuse to nudge my collegians (during finals, or - in one case - during her grandmother's funeral!) for missing form #769.

Wow...

I should add that posting on here has actually been very theraputic...

Would you like one of my blunt pills? Here's one. "Overzealous Olive, the collegians all have a schedule - in paper form and online - of when forms are due. I have all these dates programmed into my calendar and send them regular reminder emails. I refuse to crawl into their Victoria's Secret underpants and twist their privates if that isn't enough. If you're dissatisified with the way I do my job, perhaps you need to find another advisor."

It sounds like the only girls joining are the "stereotypical sorority girls" - who 1) then get upset and quit when they aren't getting a stereotypical sorority experience 2) during rush, turn off women who may have never considered Greek life due to the stereotypes, but who WOULD enjoy it on this campus. (I hope that makes sense.)

If retention sucks for everyone, I would try getting together with the other chapters/advisors and approaching your regional Panhel rep about maybe going to deferred rush or otherwise changing your rush methods. I take it the school could give a flying leap about the state of the Greek system and would probably be happy if it all disappeared tomorrow.

[Munchkin03]

Three years is a pretty good amount of time and it might just be time for a much-needed break. I was involved in an alumni organization for 5 years, and I ended up becoming extremely burned out. I resigned this summer and I've never been happier--but I didn't burn any bridges, so if I want to come back, I could.

I attended a school similar to the one you're describing, and a lot of it IS deep cultural issues that the college doesn't care to address. We were second-semester recruitment, which probably made things a little easier. You're dealing with a lot of very driven young women who are used to doing a lot of activities. At some schools, sorority membership is the MAIN thing someone does outside of academics/professional development. At my school, and probably the one you're talking about, sorority membership was one of many things we were doing. A few of my sisters were recruited Division I athletes, worked, and had a pre-med schedule. Sorority membership, while something they were committed to, was never going to trump those other three in priority level.

[JayhawkAOII]

If you feel worn out, step back and take a break. You will still appreciate your sisters if you take the step back.

I was a chapter advisor to a wonderful group of women. When I volunteered to take it on, I had no other advisors. It was just me. Over two years, I worked to get a full Advisory council. This chapter had an odd situation in that it was founded at a satellite campus of the university, and that campus was absorbed into the main campus. The women of the chapter, literally, had to move from one campus to another. We had a decent first recruitment, but it was hard on the women because while they weren't a new chapter, they were new on campus and the other GLO's weren't necessarilly welcoming.
I loved the women, and I really loved being the advisor, especially after I built up a team. Then, after I did all the leg work, I was fired from a position I volunteered for. I got a call one night from a woman at the HQ who told me my services were no longer needed and that I was to turn over all of the advisor materials to XX, the rush advisor, who HQ had chosen to be the new chapter advisor. The women of the chapter were upset because they were given no say in the matter. The chapter was closed four months later.
I no longer have anything to do with the local alumnae of my sorority, which is unfortunate, because I really valued them as sisters.
So, my advice is to step back on your terms, not someone elses.

[totallyjersey]

Ladies,

This was really excellent advice. I just reached out to the Advisory Board Chair via email and we're talking tomorrow. I think I've hit the wall. Because of that I'm just not sure I'm in a good position to be advising them right now.

Violet,

I sent you a personal message, but I think I did something whack? Sorry if you got a couple of responses.

JayHawk,

That story broke my heart. I think many organizations can lose sight of what it means to be a volunteer. I think this can be especially true of those who work in HQ or District roles because they're not out there in the trenches. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. That said, those chapter members were lucky to have known/worked with you!

33girl,

Don't be too surprised if I make your post my new email response template!

All,

Again, thank you for the support... and happy advising (or non-advising)!

[JaxPi1228]

Is there something you could offer that does not involve hunting down forms? For example, is there room to work on the alumni side of the house? If there is not an existing structure, perhaps you could offer to help build one.

Our group is blessed with several involved alumni, but it was not always this way. I would be sad to see your organization miss out on some who still seems to have a desire to help, but needs a different role.

Jax