Quitting school after an unsuccessful SEC recruitment

[Lightning Bug!]

Er, when I transferred out of my snooty day school to a Catholic school in my hometown, the day school headmaster told my parents that my life would be ruined because, having not gone to the "right" high school, I would not get into the "right" sorority, which would eventually lead to "catastrophic" events like failure to get elected to leadership positions in the Junior League.

I went to the Catholic school, got into a good college, loved my sorority, went on to get a PhD, and never had time to join the Junior League. My life was not ruined. BUT there are still people who think that way and who still judge that my life was, in part, a failure because I did not follow "the script."

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Lightning Bug!

Er, when I transferred out of my snooty day school to a Catholic school in my hometown, the day school headmaster told my parents that my life would be ruined because, having not gone to the "right" high school, I would not get into the "right" sorority, which would eventually lead to "catastrophic" events like failure to get elected to leadership positions in the Junior League.

I went to the Catholic school, got into a good college, loved my sorority, went on to get a PhD, and never had time to join the Junior League. My life was not ruined. BUT there are still people who think that way and who still judge that my life was, in part, a failure because I did not follow "the script."

And I'm sure you were happier for not following "the script." The feminist in me rejoices!

[Lightning Bug!]

There is a difference between the girl who picked a college for academic reasons and the girl who picked a college because of (as I say above) "the script." If you grow up just assuming you'll go to your state school and pledge somewhere good and then that plan gets messed up, then it can be very isolating and disorienting if Greek life is huge at your school and you keep running into people you know from home. Now obviously if you selected your school for academic reasons and rush didn't go well, then that isn't a good reason to transfer, but if you went to college (as many people do) largely for the social life, then it is a bit more understandable. And I say this as a PhD who takes academics very seriously. Thank goodness my parents were supportive and encouraging of my deviating from "the script."

[knight_shadow]

WOW @ this entire thread. I would never...

[dukemama]

Holy crow! You're at college to get an education, first and foremost. Unless it's due to grades, financial situation or a family emergency, why would anyone drop out just because they didn't get the house they wanted (or no house at all)? Are egos THAT fragile? (I guess so...)

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by dukemama

Holy crow! You're at college to get an education, first and foremost. Unless it's due to grades, financial situation or a family emergency, why would anyone drop out just because they didn't get the house they wanted (or no house at all)? Are egos THAT fragile? (I guess so...)

That's what I said...

Originally Posted by Lightning Bug!

There is a difference between the girl who picked a college for academic reasons and the girl who picked a college because of (as I say above) "the script."

I think the difference here is that, in my case (and that of my husband and most of my friends) "the script" WAS to pick a college for academic reasons. So the concept of "ZOMG I HAVE to be an AEPhi at LSU or I'll just DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!" is foreign to me. (I'm picking on LSU because of its hugely competitive recruitment, and I'm picking on AEPhi because, well, I am one and our chapter there is dormant.) I just don't get why anyone would transfer away from a school that has a strong program in their chosen field of study, JUST to join a particular GLO (even if you do then transfer back).

[AGDee]

Part of me has to believe that women who do this are working on an MRS degree, not pursuing a career. But, perhaps that's just the Northern Feminist in me talking.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Part of me has to believe that women who do this are working on an MRS degree, not pursuing a career. But, perhaps that's just the Northern Feminist in me talking.

It also could be that in the town/circles they choose to move in, even if they do have a career outside the home, these things are deemed necessary.

I mean I know at my old job tons of people working there were alums from a particular local university. I have no doubt that if it was down to two people with the exact same credentials, one from Particular Local U and one from Other Local U, PLU would get it every time. It may be like that only on an even more rarified scale.

[carnation]

It's very often like that, 33girl, especially in certain states. Connections and who you know are everything.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Part of me has to believe that women who do this are working on an MRS degree, not pursuing a career. But, perhaps that's just the Northern Feminist in me talking.

You're right, from my experience. I met a number of women at Texas A&M who were there just for their MRS degree. They usually majored in elementary ed.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

You're right, from my experience. I met a number of women at Texas A&M who were there just for their MRS degree. They usually majored in elementary ed.

Ouch!

To be fair, I've met a lot of women from all kinds of schools who went to grad or undergrad for their MRS, as well as men for the equivalent.

[VandalSquirrel]

I meet a lot of women who already are an Mrs. and are 18-22. That blows my mind as being married in college is a completely foreign idea to me, as foreign as dropping out and changing schools over Greek membership or lack thereof.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I meet a lot of women who already are an Mrs. and are 18-22. That blows my mind as being married in college is a completely foreign idea to me, as foreign as dropping out and changing schools over Greek membership or lack thereof.

Sidenote: Maybe it's regional? I don't see a whole lot of that here. Most younger people here get married shortly following graduation (like 23 at the very youngest). Some girls might be ENGAGED during senior year, but very rarely do they get married while still in school (unless they're uber religious or pregnant).

As far as transfering when they don't get a bid, I only actually know of it happening once. A PNM went through COB at a certain chapter in Spring 2006, didn't get a bid, and left school (I'm not sure if leaving school had to do with not getting into XYZ). That next spring, she friended me on FB and I saw that she had transferred to a school in CO, gone through COB, and become an XYZ there. Weird.

[Low C Sharp]

It was my theory for a long time that GLO affiliation became such a big deal in the Southeast because for the most part, the universities (while offering strong programs and good faculty) have historically been very easy to get into. If every Joe Shmo from Hooterville can go to Southern State, then the elites need another way to distinguish themselves besides the Southern State degree.

But this can't be right, because it can be a very big deal at Princeton whether you got into Cottage Club or got "hosed" and had to go to a sign-in club. Joe Shmo from Hooterville does not get into Princeton -- or if he does, he's a firecracker talent who will not be Joe Shmo much longer. Under my theory, the Princetonians shouldn't need the extra badge of club membership to distinguish themselves, but they do, so there goes my theory.
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[Amicus]

An acquaintance of mine worked more than 30-plus years ago at a MAC (Mid-American Conference) school. Back then, she said that her school and a couple of others in the state didn't start class until mid-to-late September.

She said that a few young woman would register late at her school; these women came often from Southern states. These girls told her than the academic life at the flagship universities in their home states had been too high-pressured for them and that the second tier schools in their home states had lousy reputations. My acquaintance noted most of these woman weren't majoring in academically demanding subjects (no physics major here).

Her boss hold her that these women had often decided to come to the MAC school after sorority rush (as it was called then) had occured at their original schools. Her boss explained that some of these women would transfer back home after pledging a sorority during fall rush. Others would remain to graduate, but would return home after graduation, get a job with their degree and then join the alumnae organizations of their sororities.

I thought I would share this with all of you.