Dating and finances

[kathryn123]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

I was on an show last night that discussed this and thought I would put this age old question out to the group:


In these economical times, how feasible is it to cling to the age old belief that the 'man should pay for everything' on the first (or any) date?

Should anyone have to 'pay for everything' on a date?

When and why?

When is a good time to decide on finances when dating someone?

On the 1st and 2nd date maybe.. I think it would also be an insult for both parties if the girls insist on paying on dates.. But she can also compensate.. like she can cook for the boyfriend, of insist taht they go to places that are not too pricey.

[AGDee]

My co-worker was telling me the other day about a man who is a friend of hers (she used to hope it would become more) who has been in a long term relationship with a woman for about 3 years now. They don't live together, but the woman does spend the weekend at his house sometimes. He gives her a monthly bill to cover his resources that she has used (showers, meals, etc) when she stays with him for a weekend. Psycho!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AGDee

My co-worker was telling me the other day about a man who is a friend of hers (she used to hope it would become more) who has been in a long term relationship with a woman for about 3 years now. They don't live together, but the woman does spend the weekend at his house sometimes. He gives her a monthly bill to cover his resources that she has used (showers, meals, etc) when she stays with him for a weekend. Psycho!

She's stupid for staying with him. What a jerk.

[When Doves Cry]

My boyfriend is pretty old-fashioned when it comes to finances. He wants to pay for everything! Which is great, but it makes me feel bad because I'm the one with a full-time job now, and he's going into his 5th year of college. So I have to insist on paying sometimes. And he's always so grateful

However, when it comes to driving (He lives 30 minutes away, and it's an hour if he's at school), he likes it when I visit him so he's not driving all the time.
And my dad is the opposite and says he's the man so he should be visiting me & driving me everywhere I love my men.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

My boyfriend is pretty old-fashioned when it comes to finances. He wants to pay for everything! Which is great, but it makes me feel bad because I'm the one with a full-time job now, and he's going into his 5th year of college. So I have to insist on paying sometimes. And he's always so grateful

However, when it comes to driving (He lives 30 minutes away, and it's an hour if he's at school), he likes it when I visit him so he's not driving all the time.
And my dad is the opposite and says he's the man so he should be visiting me & driving me everywhere I love my men.

He's lucky you feel like that. It always drives me crazy when I'm in a relationship and they still want to pay for everything. I feel too guilty to let that happen.

It's nice he doesn't insist on driving all the time...what is it with men and wanting to be the driver?

[nittanygirl]

My guy *usually* insists on paying for everything. I've never asked him to take me out to overly expensive places though out of respect because I know he'll want to pay. I almost always offer to pitch in towards whatever we do and he usually says no. Also, if we're going to dinner, he encourages me to get whatever I want, but I usually try to make it equal or cheaper than his meal unless I'm really craving something else.

As far as driving goes (I'm still in school 3 hours away from where he lives) usually he drives here to visit. If he does I try to chip in on gas if I can afford it.

There have always been times in our relationship where I take HIM out to dinner/on a date & let him order the most expensive thing on the menu if he wants. Men like to be spoiled every now and then too.

In this economy though, he's had some problems finding a good job since graduation, so we've been splitting things more often. If we go to the movies, he gets the tickets, I get the snacks, or this past weekend, he bought our pizza for our movie night & I bought us ice cream afterwards. He still usually feels guilty about me paying for things.

[33girl]

I'm going to throw this out, re computer dating.

Obviously if you met on a dating site, you were both interested in dating someone and the interest is mutual. Also, this is a person you really don't know in real life and really have no idea what his true intentions are. Therefore, the check should be SPLIT.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by AGDee

My co-worker was telling me the other day about a man who is a friend of hers (she used to hope it would become more) who has been in a long term relationship with a woman for about 3 years now. They don't live together, but the woman does spend the weekend at his house sometimes. He gives her a monthly bill to cover his resources that she has used (showers, meals, etc) when she stays with him for a weekend. Psycho!

DAMN. If a guy tried doing that to me I'd drop him like a hot potato.

She should bill him for the sex.