Pref mess up?

[IrishLake]

KSU, she said she ended up not pledging to her friends house, her #2 choice.

[KSUViolet06]

i'm confused, judging by this post, I assumed she was in a chapter.

[Ggirl617]

GatorKate-

I'm sorry you're experiencing some negative feelings towards your past sorority recruitments. I saw something another poster said that I thought was important to repeat.

If you knew that you had messed it up yourself by saying you weren't sure and then they put you lower on their list, is that going to make you feel any better? No, you're probably going to feel worse because it was your mistake.

If you knew that it hadn't had anything to do with what you said, and they put you lower on their list just because they didn't want you badly enough, would that make you feel any better? Probably not, because it's going to mean they wanted other girls more.

It seems like you're happy in your chapter now. I don't know if it was one of the ones you originally referenced or not but I can absolutely promise you that the way to experience the best time posisble with the chapter you are in now is to give it your all and stop the second thoughts about your freshman rush. Things tend to work out best for people who make the best of the way things work out. Good luck

[IrishLake]

Good point, I didn't notice this. Maybe she lives on a river delta? Or maybe it's wishful thinking? lol.... I don't know.

[FSUZeta]

that is odd-good sleuthing sherlock!

[PeppyGPhiB]

GatorKate did not accept the bid to the second choice. She was so consumed by the rejection of her first choice that she failed to see that she DID get her second choice, which she had felt almost equally pulled toward.

GatorKate, hate to break it to you, but your first choice chapter just didn't want you bad enough. That's what it boils down to. Chapters have to turn in their bid lists before Preference round, so their decision about you had already been made by the time you made your comment at Preference. Though the two girls who rushed you really liked you, the decision isn't only up to them. It comes down to where on the list the chapter as a whole puts you, and unfortunately for you they matched with women on their bid list before they got to your name.

If you didn't want your second choice, you shouldn't have listed them on your bid card. There might have been a woman who wanted that chapter as badly as you wanted the other one, but by agreeing to accept a bid from them, you robbed her of that opportunity. Let this be a lesson to you that you should be grateful for the things you get in life. To quote Sharyl Crow, "It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got!"

[AXOrushadvisor]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

GatorKate did not accept the bid to the second choice. She was so consumed by the rejection of her first choice that she failed to see that she DID get her second choice, which she had felt almost equally pulled toward.

GatorKate, hate to break it to you, but your first choice chapter just didn't want you bad enough. That's what it boils down to. Chapters have to turn in their bid lists before Preference round, so their decision about you had already been made by the time you made your comment at Preference. Though the two girls who rushed you really liked you, the decision isn't only up to them. It comes down to where on the list the chapter as a whole puts you, and unfortunately for you they matched with women on their bid list before they got to your name.

If you didn't want your second choice, you shouldn't have listed them on your bid card. There might have been a woman who wanted that chapter as badly as you wanted the other one, but by agreeing to accept a bid from them, you robbed her of that opportunity. Let this be a lesson to you that you should be grateful for the things you get in life. To quote Sharyl Crow, "It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got!"

We actually turn our bid list in AFTER preference round on our campus. That was how I thought it worked on most campuses? In fact, there are some Chapters on our campus who are up almost all night doing them.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

We actually turn our bid list in AFTER preference round on our campus. That was how I thought it worked on most campuses? In fact, there are some Chapters on our campus who are up almost all night doing them.

Yeah, that's what I thought too. Turning in bid lists before pref would kind of, well, make pref pointless - and it certainly hardly ever is, for the rushees or the sorority members. It's responsible for a lot of turnarounds.

Methinks this is a very splashy thread!

GatorKate, your posts would have made more sense if you would have started "I'm in a chapter I love now, but I just wanted to vent about something that happened the first time I went through rush." People WILL search on all your posts if you're a newbie to find holes in your story.

FWIW, I still wonder if the group I preffed second gave me a bid. Does that mean I wish I would have put them first? No, not at all. I'm just curious.

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

We actually turn our bid list in AFTER preference round on our campus. That was how I thought it worked on most campuses? In fact, there are some Chapters on our campus who are up almost all night doing them.

I've never heard of turning it in before pref either, but as we all know, every campus is different. I would wonder how that would work - Peppy?

[AOII Angel]

OMG...after scanning the trainwreck that is the sequined panty hose twin recruitment thread, I think our recent run of trolls is all the same person..."recruitment."

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

I've never heard of turning it in before pref either, but as we all know, every campus is different. I would wonder how that would work - Peppy?

If the bid list is submitted before pref, then everyone at pref would be on the bid list somewhere, just not necessarily guaranteed to match depending on where they are on the list.

I would think it would work at campuses with fewer pref parties, maybe two or three. But I honestly can't recall when ours were submitted, nor am I sure at what point it comes down to discussing MS.

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

If the bid list is submitted before pref, then everyone at pref would be on the bid list somewhere, just not necessarily guaranteed to match depending on where they are on the list.

I would think it would work at campuses with fewer pref parties, maybe two or three. But I honestly can't recall when ours were submitted, nor am I sure at what point it comes down to discussing MS.

In the campuses where I've worked, it was understood that if you were invited to pref you were wanted - the question was, how badly? (And those campuses all had a max. of 2 pref parties) I don't think it's getting down to MS, since all chapters turn in their lists at the same time - membership selection would concern how they determine who is on their first and who is on their second bid lists. Of course, this was back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and we had to do hand bid matching - THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

[AZTheta]

wow... and huh? (there's a rock band called Delta Spirit... maybe that was the reference? okay, okay, I'll go sit down now.)

[psusue]

Originally Posted by GatorKate

I didn't pledge my friend's house and in the end I ended up not getting what I wanted and STILL hurting her feelings.

KSU, from what she wrote, I think she didn't end up pledging any chapter.

GatorKate, this is why people are not giving you the sympathy that you seem to be looking for. You had THREE chapters that wanted you as a sister, and you really wanted two of them. Yet you chose none of them and are now expecting pity? You made your choice. I understand what it's like to be in your second choice. Technically, I am in my "second choice" but it has become my first and is one of the best decisions I've made in college because I gave it a chance.

Many, many, GCers are in their second, third, or even further down the list of choices. Some here did not get a bid at all. Imagine how that girl feels while reading your story, knowing that you had your three choices on pref night and she didn't even make it there. That's why we're saying the things that we're saying. We've heard sob stories, and maybe yours isn't one of them to us (although from what I can tell from you, it still does hurt a lot, which I understand). We, from the other side of recruitment, just wish that you had given the chapter you rejected a chance because we've been that chapter that loved that girl who declined our bid. We have feelings too, you know.

If you really regret your decision that much, you could try to rush again. You may not get your first, second, or even last choice at pref night, you may end up completely bidless but the point is that if you never go through recruitment again you will never know.

[KSUViolet06]

This is very odd.