times are changing and i need some help

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

But I think there's a difference between telling someone, "You HAVE to wear our colors/letters on Friday," and "OMG, whatever you do, DON'T wear our colors/letters on Friday or we'll get busted for hazing," and simply mentioning, "Every Friday, everyone in the Greek community wears their colors/letters," and allowing new members to do as they please.

I know there was a thread on here about a chapter accused of hazing by their national because their NMs didn't want to wear letters before initiation, of their own volition, because that was the school custom. The NMs were basically forced by the national to wear letters - IMO, reverse hazing.

Shit like that makes me crazy. Don't go in as the lone NPC to a longtime locals-only culture and buck it at every turn and think everyone's going to have a come to Jesus moment and see things the way you do.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I know there was a thread on here about a chapter accused of hazing by their national because their NMs didn't want to wear letters before initiation, of their own volition, because that was the school custom. The NMs were basically forced by the national to wear letters - IMO, reverse hazing.

Shit like that makes me crazy. Don't go in as the lone NPC to a longtime locals-only culture and buck it at every turn and think everyone's going to have a come to Jesus moment and see things the way you do.

Was it that one or a similar one where it was pointed out that presenting the option to the NMs to vote, with the pressure of tradition behind it, makes it less of a 'by their own free will thing?' Without even knowing what language was used to present the option, it's hard to say.

If that sort of thing was all the OP's chapter was doing, I sincerely doubt that the school would be on their asses and there would be campus rumors about what was really going on. If you're worried about losing recognition you're doing something really wrong. Especially when your response is to find something you can do that no one else will "see or hear" not "something that isn't hazing."

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

If that sort of thing was all they were doing, I sincerely doubt that the school would be on their asses and there would be campus rumors about what was really going on. If you're worried about losing recognition you're doing something really wrong. Especially when your response is to find something you can do that no one else will "see or hear" not "that isn't hazing."

It wasn't the school that was on their asses, it was their national HQ. The example I gave had nothing to do with the OP's situation - it was a tangent the thread went on.

Oh, and congratulations everyone for chasing the OP off, and making her even more resentful about having to create an anti-hazing pledge program. That will really help the girls joining this group next year.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by 33girl

It wasn't the school that was on their asses, it was their national HQ. The example I gave had nothing to do with the OP's situation - it was a tangent the thread went on.

Oh, and congratulations everyone for chasing the OP off, and making her even more resentful about having to create an anti-hazing pledge program. That will really help the girls joining this group next year.

Actually, my first paragraph referred to your example, my second to the OP.

So it's our fault she left after asking us to help her haze in a way that could not be "seen or heard?" Not my job. Her group shouldn't haze, the new members shouldn't put up with it, and that won't change until her perspective does. She pretty much ignored everyone (from whatever conference) saying that you could pledge without hazing and complained about how they couldn't haze anymore.

Sorry, not buying it, not helping it, not feeling bad because it took its ball and went home.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

So it's our fault she left after asking us to help her haze in a way that could not be "seen or heard?" Not my job. Her group shouldn't haze, the new members shouldn't put up with it, and that won't change until her perspective does. She pretty much ignored everyone (from whatever conference) saying that you could pledge without hazing and complained about how they couldn't haze anymore.

Sorry, not buying it, not helping it, not feeling bad because it took its ball and went home.

Thank you.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Actually, my first paragraph referred to your example, my second to the OP.

So it's our fault she left after asking us to help her haze in a way that could not be "seen or heard?" Not my job. Her group shouldn't haze, the new members shouldn't put up with it, and that won't change until her perspective does. She pretty much ignored everyone (from whatever conference) saying that you could pledge without hazing and complained about how they couldn't haze anymore.

Sorry, not buying it, not helping it, not feeling bad because it took its ball and went home.

Actually, the crux of her post was her asking for an efficient way to help pledges learn information. I gave her a simple non-hazing way and also pointed out that some of the things they were doing weren't necessary.

The "not seen or heard" was in reference to people reporting that they heard things and included a after it - in other words SHE WAS JOKING.

Seriously, anyone who comes on here with local letters gets assumed to be one of two things: 1) horrible hazers 2) a "joke" GLO. It's fucking annoying.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Actually, the crux of her post was her asking for an efficient way to help pledges learn information. I gave her a simple non-hazing way and also pointed out that some of the things they were doing weren't necessary.

The "not seen or heard" was in reference to people reporting that they heard things and included a after it - in other words SHE WAS JOKING.

Seriously, anyone who comes on here with local letters gets assumed to be one of two things: 1) horrible hazers 2) a "joke" GLO. It's fucking annoying.

Your interpretation and mine are quite different. The only reason I think they have a hazing problem is because she said they did. And the after it could mean " ha ha not really" or "wink wink you know what I mean." I interpreted it to be the latter and still do. Sorry.

Her responses to the posts, including the different specific things she mentioned, only confirm my impression.

heyy... so my sorority isn't national and we're located in a smaller school. the past few semesters, we have gotten in trouble for "hazing" and people have gone to the school saying that they have heard things coming from our house. thank god we havent lost recognition, so now it is time for some changes. Im PM next semester and im trying to come up with some new, contructive ideas on how to pledge our girls, especially during the day time while they are at the house. im looking for anything that is stern and constructive with the pledges but at the same time, not seen or HEARD by anyone else. if anyone has any ideas please help me out! it sucks that things have to change but what are you gonna do?

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Actually, the crux of her post was her asking for an efficient way to help pledges learn information. I gave her a simple non-hazing way and also pointed out that some of the things they were doing weren't necessary.

Right and she thanked you. What are you complaining about? LOL.

Greekchat is not a place to be babysat. I'm actually amused that you feel this way considering your rant about "touchy-feely" processes. The OP has her letters and should know what to do with them regardless of what GCers type.

Originally Posted by 33girl

The "not seen or heard" was in reference to people reporting that they heard things and included a after it - in other words SHE WAS JOKING.

She should save that joke for the Greek Life office. They would slap their knees in laughter.

Originally Posted by 33girl

Seriously, anyone who comes on here with local letters gets assumed to be one of two things: 1) horrible hazers 2) a "joke" GLO. It's fucking annoying.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Seriously, anyone who comes on here with local letters gets assumed to be one of two things: 1) horrible hazers 2) a "joke" GLO. It's fucking annoying.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Oh, and congratulations everyone for chasing the OP off, and making her even more resentful about having to create an anti-hazing pledge program. That will really help the girls joining this group next year.

Imagine a world where GC determines outcomes.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I know there was a thread on here about a chapter accused of hazing by their national because their NMs didn't want to wear letters before initiation, of their own volition, because that was the school custom. The NMs were basically forced by the national to wear letters - IMO, reverse hazing.

That reminds me of a girl in my chapter who we jokingly said would "haze herself." I think it was mainly because she was so clueless about Greek life, and she would do things that we wouldn't ask of her, or she would ask seemingly innocent questions which could be taken the wrong way by others.

Even she laughs about it now. But at the time, we would worry. She could have asked something as simple as, "I can't wear letters until initiation, right?" (even though she could). But even if we said, "No, you definitely can," to an outsider, it might have made it seem as though we wouldn't allow her to do so, and that we were trying to cover something up.

I will admit that at times, it does become tiresome trying to watch every little thing you do... especially when you sometimes have no control over the situation.