Would you get married quickly if you had no doubts?

[pshsx1]

I'm the type of person that always hesitates with big decisions.

I've been in my current relationship for two years now, but I'm in absolutely no hurry (but that may also be because I"m so young).

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

I don't think you can truly know someone and know they are right for you in six months. I think it takes at least a year and probably up to two years to really see who they are in all kinds of situations. That said, I think some people end up being lucky when they marry quickly and really do find the person they were meant to be with for the long haul. But that has more to do with luck than really knowing the person through and through and they grow into a great relationship through marriage.

I really don't think one can make generalizations like this. Everyone's situations are different. When my sister married her husband. they'd known each other for 10 months -- they'd been engaged for 5 of those months. Thirty-three years, three kids and three grandkids later, they're going strong. I don't think luck has had much to do with it at all. It's been love (both romantic, fall-in-love kind and the decide to love kind) and commitment.

Everyone's different. When you know it's right, you know it's right.

[summer_gphib]

We met in January, were engaged in September, and married the following July. We will be married 10 years in July, and are still very, very much in love.

[GeorgiaGPhiB]

I never thought it would be so easy but ...

I remember seeing him and telling my friend I could marry that man. Cut to a year and a half later of being together and the only thing that stops us is we are still in school.

[BluPhire]

But isn't this entire thread filled with posts full of exceptions?

I guess I was making my point because we all have opinions.

I mean one example was pointed at that getting married quickly involves luck...yet the generation beforehand it was the norm..and for every horror story that is just now coming out, there are 5 that it worked for.

So again...

[Kevin]

My parents dated for 2 weeks before tying the knot. Been 36+ years now.

Definitely not a backwoods okie thing either, although that [the quick marriage thing] is rather common here. At this point, my father was General Counsel for the Oklahoma Department of Highways and my mother was finishing up her Master's in French Literature after having spent most of her early/mid 20's studying in Paris and Switzerland and hitchhiking around Europe and Africa.

[AGDee]

I think age has a lot to do with it myself. I think your average 84 year old can more easily promise to spend the rest of their lives with their intended after knowing them only a short period of time.

And yes, I am getting punchy from too much cryptography.

[DrPhil]

Go away spammer.

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

... So what say you, GC: If you were both absolutely certain you wanted to be together forever (and were in a financial/situational place to do so), are you the type to push for marriage or do you prefer the low-pressure long-term?

Interesting thread. My theory is that you don't really know a person until you have seen two things:
-until you have seen them angry
-until you have seen them angry at you because of something you have done (or something they perceive you have done).

Nothing "sexy" or "flattering" about either of these scenarios but both of them will show the character of who you are dealing with for real.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

Interesting thread. My theory is that you don't really know a person until you have seen two things:
-until you have seen them angry
-until you have seen them angry at you because of something you have done (or something they perceive you have done).

Nothing "sexy" or "flattering" about either of these scenarios but both of them will show the character of who you are dealing with for real.

I agree. It is a bad idea to fall quickly in love (or in like) and make the marriage leap before you've seen that person in different moods, around family, and how they behave when shit hits the fan.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

Interesting thread. My theory is that you don't really know a person until you have seen two things:
-until you have seen them angry
-until you have seen them angry at you because of something you have done (or something they perceive you have done).

Nothing "sexy" or "flattering" about either of these scenarios but both of them will show the character of who you are dealing with for real.

I'm going to add:

-until you have seen his credit report

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Only for Lenny Kravitz.

Everyone else has to wait a while.

Originally Posted by Jen

I would wait. Because that marriage shit is expensive.

LOL!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

Interesting thread. My theory is that you don't really know a person until you have seen two things:
-until you have seen them angry
-until you have seen them angry at you because of something you have done (or something they perceive you have done).

Nothing "sexy" or "flattering" about either of these scenarios but both of them will show the character of who you are dealing with for real.

Totally agree. Yep, I just think that what you posted is so important. I mean, I wait because I want to be with him long enough to see patterns. Like, how does he interact with people, how does he handle stress, the way he handles money, is he indecisve, is he able to calmly gather the facts, like making rational and wise decisions under pressure, or does he explode, fall apart, his habits etc. I just think that too many people (mainly women), are so anxious to be married that they don't pay attention to these signs. It's just that this happens because they are "in love" therefore everything their guy does is okay or can be changed later. Uh uh, what you see is ultimately what you get. I just don't get why no one ever rationalizes that the cost of cancellation before a wedding is far less than the cost of a divorce, emotionally as well as financially.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I mean, I wait because I want to be with him long enough to see patterns.

PREACH!!!!

[psusue]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Uh uh, what you see is ultimately what you get. I just don't get why no one ever rationalizes that the cost of cancellation before a wedding is far less than the cost of a divorce, emotionally as well as financially.

My mom always says 'even if you were to run screaming back down the aisle, it would ultimately still be cheaper, less embarrassing, and less painful than a divorce'. FWIW.