Should I try?

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by lechat

Hi I just found this place so I figured, what better time than now to ask?

Background info:
Campus: small, southern, private liberal arts. Seems like most everyone is greek here.
I was a transfer and I'll be a junior this fall semester. I live off campus and I admittedly haven't been social because
a) i'm shy
b) it's my boyfriend's last semester in the state before HE transfers and i didn't want to miss out on this time.
c) i've been trying to deal with the new workload, so i haven't even tried to attend events or anything. i purposely haven't gotten involved because i really wasn't sure i could handle it.

But I can, and more importantly - I want to. Even if it's not greek, I am going to be a part of as many things as possible from now until I leave (which wont be until late 2012/2013).

My question is this:
Is it worth even trying to go through recruitment? I've always wanted to be part of a sorority, and honestly if I'd known that transferring late would have affected it - I would have done so much earlier.

I just don't want to apply for recruitment and feel ridiculous. I'm shy and honestly it takes a few times for me to feel comfortable with people. But once I am, I have no problems.

this campus has phi mu, chi omega, tri delta and kappa delta.

Will your junior year be your second year there?

I would be prepared for answers as to why you didn't rush earlier. There are plenty of shy women who have succeeded in recruitment, but they had to learn something very important. If you think about it, shy people often focus on themselves. They worry are they good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc., to compete. It's the worrying about yourself that can be off-putting to others. I am sometimes shy, and people have told me that it looks like I am pissed off sometimes, when in reality, I'm just self-conscious. I would really work on the issues that make you feel self-conscious or shy. You don't have to be Miss Congeniality, but you should be able to have a conversation with strangers. How will anyone get to know you, and vise versa, if you are not approachable?

I personally would never tell them that you didn't socialize because you wanted to spend time your boyfriend. Plenty of girls in sororities have boyfriends. It's not impossible.

I don't know what your workload entails, but there are many women who successfully carry heavy loads (credit wise) with demanding majors. Balance is important whether you are in a sorority or not. Being in a sorority can help you learn to balance a lot of things before you hit the real world after graduation. There are a lot of resources out there - you can take a study skills class to help you make better use of your study time. Many sororities also have study hours, mentoring among people in the same major, etc.

If you get to know the girls now, you'll have the "few times to get comfortable" under your belt. You still have time to get to know girls before the end of the year. I am not sure how you managed to not know anyone; I am sure there are girls in some of your classes. Since you live off campus, find stuff to do on campus so that you can be part of the campus community. You aren't going to meet a lot of people hiding off campus.

I think that outside the intangibles you can't change (the competitiveness, class standing, etc.), a lot of your success in recruitment is based on YOU. Good luck with whatever you do. Whether or not you go Greek, it can't hurt to make new friends and get involved on campus. College will be over before you know it.

[lechat]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Will your junior year be your second year there?

I would be prepared for answers as to why you didn't rush earlier. There are plenty of shy women who have succeeded in recruitment, but they had to learn something very important. If you think about it, shy people often focus on themselves. They worry are they good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc., to compete. It's the worrying about yourself that can be off-putting to others. I am sometimes shy, and people have told me that it looks like I am pissed off sometimes, when in reality, I'm just self-conscious. I would really work on the issues that make you feel self-conscious or shy. You don't have to be Miss Congeniality, but you should be able to have a conversation with strangers. How will anyone get to know you, and vise versa, if you are not approachable?

I personally would never tell them that you didn't socialize because you wanted to spend time your boyfriend. Plenty of girls in sororities have boyfriends. It's not impossible.

I don't know what your workload entails, but there are many women who successfully carry heavy loads (credit wise) with demanding majors. Balance is important whether you are in a sorority or not. Being in a sorority can help you learn to balance a lot of things before you hit the real world after graduation. There are a lot of resources out there - you can take a study skills class to help you make better use of your study time. Many sororities also have study hours, mentoring among people in the same major, etc.

If you get to know the girls now, you'll have the "few times to get comfortable" under your belt. You still have time to get to know girls before the end of the year. I am not sure how you managed to not know anyone; I am sure there are girls in some of your classes. Since you live off campus, find stuff to do on campus so that you can be part of the campus community. You aren't going to meet a lot of people hiding off campus.

I think that outside the intangibles you can't change (the competitiveness, class standing, etc.), a lot of your success in recruitment is based on YOU. Good luck with whatever you do. Whether or not you go Greek, it can't hurt to make new friends and get involved on campus. College will be over before you know it.

This will only be my second semester there. I haven't even been there for 6 months yet . I transferred in spring term, and rush isn't until fall (from what i understand).

No, I DO know people, in general, lol. Sorry if I made it sound like I know no one at all here. I just haven't had that much contact at out of class events and so on because everyone tends to separate into their established groups (mostly from their dorm levels or sororities) and if you aren't a part of one, your presence isnt acknowledged at all.

I am on-campus a lot going to movies or events that we get extra credit for. I just don't have extended conversations with people or hang out (outside of regular classs). I'd say that M-F i'm on campus from the morning till noon, and then i usually come back 8-10 or something for some event or studying in the library.

I'm joining clubs at the beginning of next semester so that i CAN be more active, greek or not. I love the school, it's a good fit, and I don't want to regret not being active after it's over.

"If you think about it, shy people often focus on themselves. They worry are they good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc., to compete. It's the worrying about yourself that can be off-putting to others. I am sometimes shy, and people have told me that it looks like I am pissed off sometimes, when in reality, I'm just self-conscious."

That's exactly my problem. It's not so much that I'm worried about talking to people, it's that i'm overly concerned with what they're thinking about me, I guess?

Thanks for responding. You've been really helpful.