Resigning/Disaffiliating... Help!!

[DDDlady]

Originally Posted by gagirl90

And I would like to say one last time, that I just want to hear the POV of someone who has or is considering deactivating since none of my friends/ family can relate, and I have already spoken with my 2 close friends in XYZ. I thought posts from others who have been through this could be helpful since I have no access to that at home. That's it, please and thank you. I'll get back on to check for that, but to the rest of yall, we are just wasting eachother's time.

Actually, I have been there thank you very much. I struggled with my decision for a long time. It was a difficult time where I had to really sit down and evaluate what I was feeling and what I wanted. Random advice from strangers would not have helped. There is no "I want to drop my sorority" manual or guidelines. This is a decision that you will have to make and live with. You should not let some random strangers influence that. And I think you are wrong about your parents/friends not being able to relate. While they may not have been in the exact situation you are in, I bet they have been in similar ones. They can also provide you with an alternate perspective on your situation that we can't because we do not know you or your situation. I wish you luck in whatever you decide.

[ComradesTrue]

First, I did not need google to know your school. There are plenty of people from that university who read these boards and will know the chapter that you are in. I say that not to be "creepy" but to give you one more opportunity to clean up some of your posts/delete identifying information. Chapter business should not be discussed here.

If you scan down to the very bottom of the page there are several links to prior threads about disaffiliating. You may also use the search function within Greekchat to locate more threads.

This board is filled with both actives and alumnae. Many of us come from the perspective of having a enriched experience not only as a collegian but also as an alumnae chapter member. That is probably why you are getting several responses about taking things slow, talk to professionals, etc. You could be making a HUGE mistake by throwing everything away right now. If you are a sophomore, then you only have 2 more years left as an active. Be very, very sure that you don't want to throw away a lifetime of alumnae opportunities.

Also- you mention that there are some members in your chapter who you do like. Focus on your relationships with those women. All chapters have some issues, as there will never be 150 women in one place who all agree on everything.

Finally, KSU is not being a jerk. She is a mental health professional who has offered you some very constructive advice.

[gagirl90]

Leslie Anne thank you for your feedback.
Also just to clear the slate I haven't called anyone a jerk.
Wow that's great KD offers early alumna status. Mine definitely does not or else I would have taken that road. I am also not allowed to go inactive to evaluate my thoughts for a semester, according to the house. I really don't want to be associated with my chapter. As a whole I really don't like it, but I do like the national org and dont want to throw away my opportunities as an alum, so great insight and I will consider what you said!

[RaggedyAnn]

Originally Posted by gagirl90

I am also not allowed to go inactive to evaluate my thoughts for a semester, according to the house. I really don't want to be associated with my chapter. As a whole I really don't like it, but I do like the national org and dont want to throw away my opportunities as an alum, so great insight and I will consider what you said!

But, what you could do, is attend only mandatory events and do all your requirements for the rest of the semester, so you don't end up in hot water and hang out with your non-glo friends, study and work out during your free time. Sometimes getting away from a situation and decompressing will help you think more clearly.

Now, the downside is that you may feel really disconnected from the chapter, but the solution to that is to just get reinvolved with the non-mandatory events.

[Ggirl617]

Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn

But, what you could do, is attend only mandatory events and do all your requirements for the rest of the semester, so you don't end up in hot water and hang out with your non-glo friends, study and work out during your free time. Sometimes getting away from a situation and decompressing will help you think more clearly.

Now, the downside is that you may feel really disconnected from the chapter, but the solution to that is to just get reinvolved with the non-mandatory events.

another downside is still paying...

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

another downside is still paying...

Yeah, exactly.

If she was at my alma mater and felt the same way, I'd say "just go to the required things - don't wear your letters - hang out with your non Greek friends a lot and join lots of other groups - stick it out and then you can be active as an alumna."

But the fact is anyone who's an active at an SEC school is putting a SUPER BIG CHUNK O' CHANGE into that sorority membership and not using it to its fullest is kind of nuts, especially in these economic times. You should probably either be the whole way in or be the whole way out, unless your last name is Trump and you can spare the $$.

[RaggedyAnn]

I was more thinking she just do the mandatory/required things while she was trying to decide what to do. Definitely this is not the answer for the long haul...maybe just for the rest of the semester.

[AnotherKD]

Transfer schools to one that doesn't have your sorority. You'll be an alum. Otherwise, I don't know what to tell you. You want to be in the national sorority and be affiliated for the rest of your life, but you also don't want to be affiliated with your chapter. Well, you are stuck between a rock and, well, you get the idea.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

Transfer schools to one that doesn't have your sorority. You'll be an alum. Otherwise, I don't know what to tell you. You want to be in the national sorority and be affiliated for the rest of your life, but you also don't want to be affiliated with your chapter. Well, you are stuck between a rock and, well, you get the idea.

I hope you're being flip and funny and not serious in the least.

[AnotherKD]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I hope you're being flip and funny and not serious in the least.

Should have put in the ... sarcasm is so hard to show over the internet...

[southbymidwest]

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

Should have put in the ... sarcasm is so hard to show over the internet...

Too bad there isn't a sarcasm font. "Wait, what is she saying? Ooh wait, she has the sarcasm font on, now I get it". OF course, even with the sarcasm font on, that still doesn't guarantee that i would get it...

[TitaniumGene]

Definitely an issue to talk with someone you trust in the fraternity. Before I resigned, I spent hours talking to the president, whom I trusted and respected very much. The final result was that he told me to do what I felt was right, which ended up being resigning and joining another fraternity. People over the Internet do not know your circumstances/feelings. It's a lot better to talk to someone in real life.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by TitaniumGene

Definitely an issue to talk with someone you trust in the fraternity.

Except, of course, she's in a sorority.

Before I resigned, I spent hours talking to the president, whom I trusted and respected very much. The final result was that he told me to do what I felt was right, which ended up being resigning and joining another fraternity.

Which is not an option in an NPC sorority. Ever.

[CougarGrad]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Except, of course, she's in a sorority.

Some of us are technically in fraternities.

{/nitpick}

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by CougarGrad

Some of us are technically in fraternities.

{/nitpick}

I know, I know.

I actually almost said "a sorority (or a fraternity for women)," but I was trying to keep it simple.