Being Gay and Greek

[xxRonxx]

What is it like? Homophobic? Is there a type of "don't ask, don't tell" policy or what? Are there all-gay fraternities? I'm gonna be a freshman next year, and I'm thinking of going Greek...will the fact that I like c/ck affect it?

[DeltAlum]

Pardon my ignorance -- I don't know what c/ck means. As for gays in Greek organizations, it depends on the chapter. I have heard of some that are very open to gays and some that are totally homophobic. There certainly are gays in the Greek System -- some openly, some not.

In terms of gay fraternities, the following was just in "FraternalNews" this past week:

The Post
Ohio University
May 7, 2002

Non-traditional fraternity continues to expand

by Lindsey McKay
Staff Writer

Members of Delta Lambda Phi - a gay, bisexual and progressive
fraternity - are facing a season of triumphs and setbacks in Ohio,
with one chapter setting up on a state campus and another excluded
from joining a greek governing body.

While the University of Cincinnati's chapter of Delta Lambda Phi
celebrates its new charter this week, Kent State University's chapter
is dealing with a rejection vote from its Interfraternity Council.

This comes after Ohio University's IFC last year became the first in
the country to admit Delta Lambda Phi into its ranks with full
membership.

Kent State's IFC voted April 22 to block the fraternity from becoming
a member of the campus fraternities' governing body. Delegates voted
after IFC members presented Delta Lambda Phi's constitution. Eight
fraternities voted against accepting Delta Lambda Phi, four voted to
accept it and three abstained.

Kent State's chapter members did not seek OU Delta Lambda Phi
President John Hall's advice before applying for IFC membership. But
Hall said his chapter might have been able to help.

"I want us to be a resource," he said.

Charlie Grandinetti, Delta Lambda Phi's national executive director,
said he was surprised by the vote at Kent State.

Grandinetti said he is unsure if the outcome would have been
different if Kent State's chapter sought Hall's help, but he
encourages chapters to consult one another.

"If I was going to run a marathon, I'd want to talk to someone who'd
done it," Grandinetti said. "A little knowledge is better than none."

OU is one of only two chapters ever to receive a form of IFC
acceptance. About 12 years ago, a Sacramento, Calif., chapter of
Delta Lambda Phi applied for full IFC membership but received
associate status, which denied it a voice or vote. The Sacramento
chapter left IFC in 1996 when it shifted its base from California
State University, where it found difficulty recruiting new members,
to the Sacramento community, Grandinetti said.

Nationwide, Delta Lambda Phi has 23 nationally chartered chapters and
four colonies, or locally recognized chapters. -

Ohio gained its third Delta Lambda Phi chapter on April 27, when the
national fraternity granted the University of Cincinnati's colony its
charter, said C.J. Liotta, the national organization's vice president
of chapter services.

And this summer, OU's chapter will host the fraternity's annual
national convention. Because of Athens' central location among
chapters, Hall said he hopes to draw 100 delegates.

The event, scheduled for June 28 at the OU Inn, 331 Richland Ave.,
will feature workshops designed to guide chapters looking to join
IFC, Hall said. OU's chapter members will use their experiences to
help others apply successfully, said Hall, who hopes a representative
from IFC or OU Student Activities will participate in the convention.

The University of Minnesota's chapter will be next to apply for IFC
membership, Grandinetti said. The national board of directors gave
the chapter permission on April 14 to petition the council.


I doubt that the above is much help to you, but offer it for your information.

[LeslieAGD]

I can't speak for the entire Greek Community...it would depend on the campus...but at my school every chapter had at least one gay brother/sister (in or out of the closet). From what I witnessed, they were never treated any differently.

[xxRonxx]

"Pardon my ignorance -- I don't know what c/ck means."

Cock. I wasn't sure which words the message board censors so I took out the "o."

And thanks for the response.

[TriSigmaTX]

DLP is an all gay fraternity. Check out the book Out on Fraternity Row by Shane Windmeyer. We went to college together and he's a wonderful gay fraternity man and such an inspiration to others. There are also some great websites you should check out. One is http://www.lambda10.org It could really help you out. Some fraternities are supportive, and some are not. It just really depends. I would be honest about being gay though, of course if you're honest to yourself then you will. That way...being upfront you'll know whether you'd be accepted or not.

[Tom Earp]

While I had no Brothers that I new of that were gay in my Chapter when I was there, I had been conversing with a Brother from another Chapter and school!

We have talked a lot and one night he called me and in the conversation, he asked if my chapter had any gays. I said not that i knew of. He said well, I am and what do you think!?

My response was and your point is?

That was my same response to the question from a Soroity Lady who said do you know I am Black! And my respone of SO It does not rub off!

It is in the eye of the beholder!

Many Groups look down on those that are not of the same mold!

Maybe the reason is they are afraid of the unknown!?

You have to be yourself as no one else can be you!

[33girl]

The message board doesn't censor any words, but that's kind of a tacky way to put it...

It completely depends on the campus and chapter. However, I would say that if you decide to be closeted and it somehow comes out, don't deny it. I think the denial upsets people more than the gayness might.

[Delta_theta]

When I joined my house Freshman year, 7 out of 30 people were either gay or bisexual(though I learned this after I rushed, it did not bother me). now, as time has gone on, we've dropped down to about 2(that I'm fully aware of) out of 35, but no one is treated any differently. I'd say, at least where I am, there are some houses positive to it, and some that are less so. One house on campus is NOW all upper-middle class white males. They had A gay man, and one international student, but both de-activated because of the atmosphere within the house. I know two of the other three houses would be open to it. With the sororities....well. I really can't say.

If you can find a place where you are happy, I'd say, by all means, go for it.

M.
Sigma Nu

[RACooper]

I would agree with others that it really depends on the campus and the individual house.

Personally I see nothing wrong with having a gay brother, as long as he doesn't define himself as gay first and a brother second. I would rather have a brother that happens to be gay, than someone who feels that they have to define themselves as gay first and foremost. An attitude like that tends to polarize people which can lead to problems. Finally I see the same problem with someone who defines themselves as straight first and foremost. These are the jackasses that put girls before brothers and everything else.... and that I'm sure most other members of this board causes problems as well.

[UNFSigmaChi]

I personally do not like or would want a gay person pledged and initiated into Sigma Chi. Its not necesarily that I hate gay people..i mean hey i work at TGI Fridays in Florida, its like gay server central, but according to the ideals and values of which my Fraternity stands, I know that gay men shouldn't be allowed. I like them as a person but i do not at all support their lifestyle. My chapter has no gay members, but I have met a couple gay sigma chi's and i've told them that since they are initiated I have to treat them as a brother, but i wish they hadn't been initiated and don't feel they are following our founders principals. And yes if I found out that one of my pledges were gay I would expell them.
I also feel that a gay Sigma Chi would not and can not represent my Fraternity well. Now if your organization's ritual allows gay men or women that is fine, but not mine. I know im going to get blasted by people, but you have no idea what my fraternity stands for so don't tell me that I am wrong. There is a gay Chi Phi at my school who I had to work with when i was in IFC who did a lot for his Fraternity, but he also caused them a lot of grief for being gay and it hurts their rush every semester as well.

[ZTAngel]

There are a few guys in the fraternities on campus that are known to be gay. It has not at all hurt their rush since the issue is not made into a big deal. I think what hurts fraternities the most is when they make a huge deal when they find out a brother is gay. If everyone were to accept it and just go on with their merry lives, nobody in the greek community would know nor would anyone who is rushing. Something like this, which isn't that big of an issue, should not be made into one.

[lifesaver]

Originally posted by UNFSigmaChi
I personally do not like or would want a gay person pledged and initiated into Sigma Chi. Its not necesarily that I hate gay people..i mean hey i work at TGI Fridays in Florida, its like gay server central, but according to the ideals and values of which my Fraternity stands, I know that gay men shouldn't be allowed. I like them as a person but i do not at all support their lifestyle. My chapter has no gay members, but I have met a couple gay sigma chi's and i've told them that since they are initiated I have to treat them as a brother, but i wish they hadn't been initiated and don't feel they are following our founders principals. And yes if I found out that one of my pledges were gay I would expell them.
I also feel that a gay Sigma Chi would not and can not represent my Fraternity well. Now if your organization's ritual allows gay men or women that is fine, but not mine. I know im going to get blasted by people, but you have no idea what my fraternity stands for so don't tell me that I am wrong. There is a gay Chi Phi at my school who I had to work with when i was in IFC who did a lot for his Fraternity, but he also caused them a lot of grief for being gay and it hurts their rush every semester as well.

To be quite honest with you, homosexuality wasnt mentioned in my ritual. Neither was heteroseuality. Prolly cause our founders believed its noones business what we do with our personal lives.

I understand where you are coming from. I just find it so very sad and disheartining if that is truely what Sigma Chi's ritual teaches. If that is the case, I have lost some respect for the organization which my father so dearly loved.

If any of our orgs are to survive, we'd better get over this issue and soon. Due to the changing demographics of the college student, the days of the "white protestant greek" is WAY over. Diversity is what it is all about. And if we plan to survive, we better embrase it. 'cause ya cant pick and choose what diversity ya wanna embrase. its all or nothin. its not ala cart.

Just my 2 cents.

[UNFSigmaChi]

The Sigma Chi ritual and im sure every other ritual doesn't say no gays allowed just heterosexuals. What i meant by that is sigma chi has very strong christian backgrounds...hince the white cross. And christianity doesn't except homosexuality. This is why homosexuality should not belong in Sigma Chi. Some of you may be thinking well i've seen sigma chi's drink, drugs etc and thats not in the christian faith either. Well yes this is true and unfortunalty some sigma chi's do drugs or whatever, but you can stop doing it, whereas you can't say hey im going to stop being gay now! We should all accept and promote diversity...afterall sigma chi's spirit says men of different temperments, talents and convictions. But accepting gays into Sigma Chi is taking that spirit too far from what the founders intended it to mean. But like i said earlier, if other GLO's feel their ritual are open to homosexuality, then im all about them joining that organization. And as far as affecting rush...here at UNF where the greek community represents 1% of the student population, it does hurt your rush to have an openly gay greek person in your Fraternity. Rushee's see this or hear about this and don't want to be apart of the now stereotyped "gay fraternity." Now at huge colleges where greek life is 30%+ then i could understand it not being that big of a problem during rush, but unfortunatly here it is.

[IowaHawkeye]

I find it sad that you cannot accept gays into your brotherhood... I am really good friends with a Sigma Chi alum from the university of illinois who just so happens to be gay as well... and as much as I know about the sigm chi brotherhood - he is the epitomey of what it stands for and promotes. He is the best brother you could ever have and i know all of his brothers feel the same way.

[FuzzieAlum]

Christian stands on homosexuality:

Lutheran (ELCA): The ELCA has not taken a position on the blessing of same-sex committed relationships. ... The ELCA has acted to welcome gay and lesbian people to participate fully in the life of its congregations and to reject discrimination, assault, and harassment of gay and lesbian persons, and it has called for "discerning conversations" within the church to understand the Spirit's leading in this situation.

Catholic: The Church, obedient to the Lord who founded her and gave to her the sacramental life, celebrates the divine plan of the loving and live-giving union of men and women in the sacrament of marriage. It is only in the marital relationship that the use of the sexual faculty can be morally good. A person engaging in homosexual behaviour therefore acts immorally.

Baptist (ABC): We affirm that the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.

Unitarian Universalist: They continue this tradition by advocating equal rights for gays and lesbians, including the right to marry. The UU Association was the first large religious organization in North America to welcome homosexuals and bisexuals as full members, eligible to become clergy. They were also the first major religious group to open an office to in support of equal civil rights for (and social acceptance of) Gays and Lesbians.

Anglican (COE): The [Bishops' 1991] statement treats human sexuality in a very positive way. It recognises that Christians are divided in their view of homosexuality in particular. They emphasise that Christians must reject all forms of hatred of homosexual people. They should protect those who are victimised. The bishops conclude, however, that the clergy are called to ‘a different standard’ from lay people. But the bishops emphasise again the need for further discussion. Once the results of such discussion have been evaluated the bishops will consider whether a further statement is required. For the moment the 1991 statement may be regarded as the most authoritative Church of England position on the subject.

Pretty much every major Christian denomination's stand on homosexuality is covered here:http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_chur2.htm



Regardless, I think what you're probably getting from this thread is that individual brothers as well as chapters and national organizations all have very different opinions on gays in general and as brothers. My advice is just to rush - you very well might find hostility from some chapters, and others could care less. Just be open about it from the beginning - it would be a painful experience to find out later on that your brothers are going to reject you for your orientation! You'll want brothers who accept you for who you are.