Guy Dumps Cheating Girlfriend ON AIR!

[srmom]

As to the other issue - basically, the "once a cheater always a cheater" scenario~

When I was younger, I believed this, I also felt as strongly as you do, Acedawg, that I would never stand for it - that if my husband ever screwed up that way, I'd be out the door!

While thankfully, I have never been faced with that, I have seen many who have. Some have chosen to chuck the bum out, some have chosen to work through it IF the guilty party is TRULY repentant and knows they screwed up big time. I have seen marriages get stronger, but built on a different foundation. And now I'm not convinced of the "once a cheater" thing.

Anyway, my feelings have changed. I hope to high heavens that I'm never confronted with this situation, but I don't think I would have the knee jerk reaction to it that I would have had in my 20's. It all depends on the circumstances and the relationship.

Just my 2 cents. I'm getting way too deep here though

[acedawg00-02]

Personally, I don't think that you're "getting too deep." They say that age brings about wisdom and I respect a few of your view-points. Some of us are young...and a bit hot-headed, and I must admit, it would be hard to maintain a neutral axis (or your sanity) when something like this happens.

Then, should you decide to reconcile...there's the ever-present issue of distrust.

And no one wants to play the fool - not twice.

If you've been married for 25 years, then I say congrats...but marriage is not a common thing in this society anymore, and in most cases, it's done for all the wrong reasons.

I look forward to future discussions/debates...you're alright with me!

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by acedawg00-02

If you've been married for 25 years, then I say congrats...but marriage is not a common thing in this society anymore, and in most cases, it's done for all the wrong reasons.

While marriage rates are declining and people are waiting until they are older to marry than they did 50 years ago, it's still not correct to say that "marriage is not a common thing in this society anymore." The majority of American adults are married; the state with the lowest marriage rate appears to be NY at a whopping 50%. Marriage is still pretty damn common.

[acedawg00-02]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

... it's still not correct to say that "marriage is not a common thing in this society anymore." The majority of American adults are married...

Perhaps I should have done some research before I made that statement...I'll come back with some numbers. However, I don't think that I'm far off.

Also, there's a big difference between being happily married and faithful vs. pretending to be while having something something on the side. Those are the numbers that I was referring to.

[starang21]

cheat on a woman, the relationship can be saved

cheat on a man, the relationship is over

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by starang21

cheat on a woman, the relationship can be saved

cheat on a man, the relationship is over

How true.

In general, women seem to be willing to put up with a whole lot more abuse than men are.

[acedawg00-02]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

How true.

In general, women seem to be willing to put up with a whole lot more abuse than men are.

You can attribute a good portion of this to socialization.

[starang21]

wow, i just listened to this whole thing.....

i almost feel sorry for her.....

[als463]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

How true.

In general, women seem to be willing to put up with a whole lot more abuse than men are.

Speaking of which, I don't know if you watch 16 and Pregnant, but do you see how these young guys treat these women (or even check out Tool Academy) and they keep staying? How is that possible? Why do these women not have any self-esteem? It drives me insane!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by als463

Speaking of which, I don't know if you watch 16 and Pregnant, but do you see how these young guys treat these women (or even check out Tool Academy) and they keep staying? How is that possible? Why do these women not have any self-esteem? It drives me insane!

And I just saw this... http://www.comcast.net/articles/spor...in-with-tiger/

It looks like Elin might be moving back in with Tiger......

[starang21]

yea, she should have handled it with class.

but i bet if feels good to drag someone through the mud after they've done that.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by starang21

yea, she should have handled it with class.

but i bet if feels good to drag someone through the mud after they've done that.

I don't think she really had time to handle it with class. She was blown away unexpectedly, no time to compose herself, process, etc.

[starang21]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I don't think she really had time to handle it with class. She was blown away unexpectedly, no time to compose herself, process, etc.

whoops, that meant to say he

not she

[christiangirl]

Honestly, she disrespected him and their relationship publicly. He did the same thing back. However, she also disrespected herself publicly when she cheated...and he did the same to himself.

For the record, I think he gave her exactly what she deserved....however, I was raised to believe you don't always give people what they deserve--you give them grace. I don't condone what he did. It would have been better if he had foregone revenge and instead showed her the grace and class he wished she would have shown him.

[srmom]

I was raised to believe you don't always give people what they deserve--you give them grace. I don't condone what he did. It would have been better if he had foregone revenge and instead showed her the grace and class he wished she would have shown him.

Nicely put

cheat on a woman, the relationship can be saved

cheat on a man, the relationship is over

Not always true, like I said before, it totally depends on the circumstances and the relationship and the two people involved. Once you've invested years into something, if it can be salvaged, it is sometimes worth the time and trouble to work through it. (usually in cases of "momentary indiscretions" or "stupid mistakes" ~ often brought on with alchohol or anger or, I hate to say this, boredom. BUT, long ongoing outside of marriage relationships - "affairs" are much harder to get over and usually end in divorce).

I know of a situation of two people who are very close to me who went through this about 15 years ago. They had two kids, she was an unhappy "stay at home mom", he was a busy, travelling professional. She went off the rails and got involved with someone, husband caught her, and it was BAD. But, they truly did love each other, they had just gotten to that time in a marriage where things can just kind of fade away (if you don't work at it!!!). It was important to both of them to work it out, not just for the sake of the kids, but because they had a deep love for each other, it had just gotten lost in the living of their lives.

They now are so in love and sweet together. I love seeing and being around them, because they can truly attest to going through the fire and coming out stronger.

If you've been married for 25 years, then I say congrats...but marriage is not a common thing in this society anymore, and in most cases, it's done for all the wrong reasons.

I look forward to future discussions/debates...you're alright with me!

Thanks, you too.

True, many times marriages are entered into for the wrong reasons, whether it's because a person is in love with the idea of being "in love", or whether they want the big fancy wedding/event, or because they think it's supposed to be what you do. A marriage is a partnership, a lifelong commitment to deal with another person's shite and pain in the assedness, but when it works, you also get the wonderful companionship and loyalty from the person you know and respect most in this world. (and if the passion remains strong, so much the better, but, even that is cyclical )

Words of wisdom from the old lady